by Anne Hampson
‘I might try to run the farm on my own,’ she replied, in tones scarcely above a whisper.
‘No woman can run a farm like this on her own!’
She looked across at him, her eyes far too bright.
‘Then I too shall have to return to England.’
His mouth went tight.
‘We’ll discuss that later,’ he almost snapped, and rose to his feet. ‘I’ll go over to the plantation and talk to Jon. Does he know about your conversation with Linda yesterday afternoon?’
‘I told him about it, yes.’
‘What was his reaction?’
‘He was dreadfully upset. He wanted to go over and see Linda, but I advised him not to. Linda doesn’t want to see him until he’s made his decision.’
‘She told me that.’ Brand uttered a deep sigh and added, ‘You’d better come with me and take Wendy away while we talk.’
‘Yes, all right.’ She hesitated. ‘What are you going to say to Jon?’
‘I don’t quite know - not yet. But I expect he’s feeling pretty low and it’ll only make him feel worse if he knows I’ve been here and gone away without having a few words with him.’
‘You’re not going to try to influence him?’ she asked anxiously, and Brand looked sharply at her.
‘Certainly not. No one should either try to advise or influence him. His decision is entirely his own.’
‘You didn’t answer my question,’ Teri said a few minutes later as they walked through the garden on their way to the plantation. ‘Would you take your wife back, under these circumstances?’
He was striding along, but he slackened his pace and looked down into Teri’s upturned face.
‘I believe I would, if I had a child—’ He broke off, gritting his teeth. ‘But I’d make her suffer! Forgiveness for a wrong like that would be beyond me, while revenge would be strong. A wife of mine would pay dear for her infidelity. In fact, by the time I’d finished with her she’d wish with all her heart she’d kept away from me!’ His hazel eyes glittered and burned, like a tiger’s. Teri shivered and glanced away. Brand had been arrogant, indifferent and gentle with her in turn; she now knew that ruthlessness and even cruelty were traits that he possessed in strength.
They walked on in silence after that, both deep in thought. A faint breeze stirred Teri’s hair, and swayed the palms and eucalyptus trees; it brought the heady aroma of the citrus groves floating towards them and the brilliant sun glistened on the shiny green leaves. The young trees were growing strongly and would soon become productive; it would be a pity if Jon had to leave it all - and leave it he must if he took his wife back again. He had loved the farm, and the challenge it had presented. They had both written to Mirrie and to their father, telling them of the help Brand had given and the results of this help. Mirrie had written back saying that she and her husband were coming over next year for a holiday and were looking forward to seeing the improvements that had been taking place at Karunda. So much disappointment would result from Jon’s abandonment of the farm - and so much heartache. Teri did not think he would ever settle down to office routine after the freedom and healthy outdoor life to which he had become used.
‘Auntie Teri!’ Wendy’s voice came over the scented air and Teri waved. ‘Uncle Brand, have you come by yourself? Where’s Auntie Linda?’
‘Hell!’ exploded Brand. ‘What’s to be the end of all this? She can’t come over today, little one,’ he said in an altered voice as Wendy ran up to them and took his hand. ‘She’s rather busy, but she’ll be coming to see you just as soon as she’s able.’
Jon turned, said something to Joseph and left him, coming towards Brand and Teri.
‘Hello, Brand.’ He looked rather anxiously at him, ‘Come to slate me, I suppose, and you have every right.’
‘That’s not what I’ve come for.’ Brand looked round. ‘You’ve done a splendid job here.’ His glance flickered to Teri. She smiled at Wendy and told her they were going into Oaksville to do some shopping.
‘Ooh, great! I’ll have some ice-cream at the cafe!’ She tucked her hand into that of her aunt and they turned and went towards the house, leaving the two men together.
Three days passed and still Jon had not made up his mind. Rosalind had come to Karunda by taxi, but Jon had not even allowed her into the house.
‘You can go back until I’m ready to give you my answer,’ he told her harshly, and even Teri winced at his tone. This was so unlike her brother, the brother who had comforted her even while his own hurt must have been searing his heart.
‘Can’t I see Wendy?’ Rosalind looked imploringly at him, but he shook his head firmly.
‘Wendy doesn’t want to see you. I’m not having her upset—’
‘Jon,’ Teri had interrupted, ‘I’ll go and fetch Wendy. She’s in the fields with the boys. It won’t take a minute.’
Jon had glowered at her.
‘I’m not having her upset,’ he said again, and that was that. Rosalind was told to get back into the taxi, which she did, tears starting to her eyes.
‘It wasn’t fair, Jon,’ Teri had protested, but Jon had been so curt with her that she had left him and gone back into the house. He apologized later, but remained firm, saying that his inclination was to divorce Rosalind and marry Linda.
‘We both care deeply,’ he said, his face pale and drawn. ‘We know it, so there seems no logic in my taking Rosalind back.’
‘Brand believes that Rosalind will be given the custody of Wendy. Did he mention that to you?’
‘Yes. We had a long talk and Brand seems to think that I have no alternative than to have Rosalind back.’ Teri said nothing and after a moment he went on, ‘I shall never forgive her for what she’s done - as you could never forgive Kemp, could you?
‘No,’ she admitted, ‘but it’s not quite the same, Jon We weren’t married.’
‘I’m talking about forgiveness,’ he returned shortly. ‘What good is it to live together when I can neither forgive nor forget? Added to this is the fact that I love someone else.’
Teri spread her hands helplessly.
‘I can’t advise you, Jon, if that’s what you’re asking. I feel that you should consider taking Rosalind back, but on the other hand I can’t bear to think of you and Linda being unhappy.’
‘And Wendy,’ he supplemented grimly.
‘Wendy will get over it. She was devoted to her mother and will be so again, after a while.’
‘She’ll forget Linda?’
‘She forgot her mother,’ Teri pointed out, and Jon gave an impatient shrug.
‘We’re getting nowhere fast! I shall not make up my mind yet.’
‘No,’ she said gently. ‘You must take your time, Jon.’
‘I intend to. I don’t think I can live without Linda,’ he added hoarsely. ‘It’s a strange thing, but I never felt quite like this about Rosalind, even when we were at our happiest. Linda has something which Rosalind lacks, something vital and deep.’
Yes, there was certainly more depth about Linda, Teri had to admit. Her values were different from those of Rosalind, too. She cared for natural things like flowers and trees and open spaces whereas Rosalind’s life had centred around material things like a lovely house, immaculately furnished, a place where she could entertain her fashionable friends. She would never have been seen in the disreputable station wagon, which was all Linda would have, for quite a time, if she married Jon.
‘Brand didn’t try to influence you?’ Teri asked at length. ‘He said he wouldn’t.’
‘No. He was firmly of the opinion that no one should intervene, one way or the other. I’m entirely on my own in this.’ Jon looked oddly at his sister then and added, ‘Brand asked me if I thought you would ever think of going back to Kemp. I told him no.’
Teri frowned.
‘He never asked me that. He seemed to take it for granted that I wouldn’t.’
‘I gained the impression that the idea just occurred to him, as we were talking
.’
‘I’m glad you told him no,’ she returned impulsively, and again Jon looked oddly at her. Abruptly she changed the subject, referring to the dance which they were supposed to be attending at the club in Oaksville. ‘Are we still going or do you think we should put it off?’
‘There’s no reason that I can see why we shouldn’t attend the dance.’ He waited for some comment and when Teri remained silent he also changed the subject, asking if she really believed that the court would give Rosalind the custody of Wendy.
‘It’s a possibility, Jon. Obviously I can’t be sure one way or another.’
‘I’m not losing my child.’ He was being torn to pieces and Teri’s heart went out to him. ‘I suppose that even were I allowed to keep her Rosalind would be able to take her off for holidays. And if she took her to England I might have difficulty in getting her back.’
‘That’s also a possibility.’ Her voice broke a little. ‘There are so many things to think of, and I wish I could help you, Jon. It’s awful to be so helpless - in the grip of circumstances like this.’
‘To think,’ he said bitterly, ‘that we came here to get away from it all! I hate its affecting you, Teri, since it’s entirely my problem.’
‘Don’t worry about me,’ she returned soothingly. ‘Whatever your decision I’ll understand - even if it means we have to leave Karunda.’ She was tempted to mention her feelings for Brand, and her hopes of Brand’s reciprocation, but decided against it. After all, she still had nothing concrete on which to base those hopes. Signs and hints were all very well, but she must wait for something more definite.
‘You’ve obviously realized that, should I decide to have Rosalind back, we’ll have to live in England?’
She nodded.
‘Yes, Jon, I have. Rosalind would never settle here. I mentioned this to Brand,’ she added, and Jon frowned.
‘And that also means that we’re letting Mirrie down.’ A great sigh rose from the very heart of him. ‘The problem seems to be widening, so many people are involved.’
‘I’d already thought of Mirrie. But she’s most understanding, Jon, and she would expect you to do what’s best for yourself.’
‘What’s best for myself happens to be what’s best for everyone concerned - even Rosalind. I don’t love her, I don’t want her and everything in me rebels at the very idea of living with her again. Infidelity is very hard to forgive, Teri.’
She nodded, recalling what Brand had said on the subject.
‘I do think you should go and see Rosalind, Jon. Have a talk with her and explain how you feel. She might then decide she herself can’t face up to living with you, seeing that you can’t forgive her.’
He agreed and went off in the station wagon to Oaksville.
On his return, hours later, he told Teri that nothing decisive had come from the talk with his wife.
‘But somehow,’ he added thoughtfully, ‘I gained the impression that Wendy wasn’t all that important to her. She wants a home and a husband, and the prestige these bring to a woman. She said quite definitely that she would never live here; she wants a complete return to the old life—’ He shook his head; he seemed older, much older, than she had ever seen him. ‘I love it here, and I know that even if I could forgive Rosalind and resume a normal life with her I’d never be happy in the old office job. This is a man’s life; I’ve become used to the zest of its challenge - fighting the climate, and winning by sheer effort and grit. Added to all that,’ he went on, ‘is the fact that I love Linda, so there’s no possibility of even a modicum of happiness for me if I give her up.’ Teri could find nothing to say and Jon added, ‘She hasn’t called? - Linda, I mean?’
‘No, and Wendy’s been dreadfully unhappy. She seems to think Linda doesn’t care for her any more.’
‘Where’s Wendy now?’
‘In the fields with Joseph and the boys.’ Earlier the child had been crying, but naturally Teri refrained from mentioning this.
‘Why doesn’t Auntie Linda come,’ she had asked miserably. ‘It isn’t as if I’ve been naughty, or anything. She always comes every day when she’s staying with Uncle Brand, but she hasn’t been for three whole days. Can we go and see her?’
‘Not just now, darling. Auntie Linda must be busy, but she’ll come when she can.’ It had been a heartbreaking interlude, but Joseph had come along and, seeing Wendy’s tears and learning the reason for them, he had - with Teri’s help - persuaded her to go with him to the fields.
‘We’ll take Buster,’ he had said. ‘He likes racing about the fields.’
‘You say Rosalind wasn’t really interested in Wendy?’ Teri looked questioningly at her brother. ‘She always loved her, so I can’t see how you gained that impression?’
‘If she’d loved Wendy she couldn’t have left her - not when she’s so young and needing a mother. No, I honestly feel that all Rosalind cares about is re-estab-lishing herself after the mess she’s made of her life. She believed Kemp would marry her and had he done so we’d never have heard of her again. She’s only using Wendy as a lever; I saw this when she told me that, should I divorce her, she would be the one who would be given the custody of the child.’
‘She mentioned that when she was here. She’s repeated it?’
‘Yes, she’s repeated it, and it was a threat, make no mistake about that.’
So it would seem that Rosalind must win, since Jon would never give up his daughter, not even for Linda.
‘You’ve gained nothing, then, by seeing Rosalind?’
‘I wouldn’t say that, exactly. I’m debating on whether or not to call her bluff. Frankly, I can’t see Rosalind wanting to be saddled with a child unless she has a husband as well... because if I divorce her she’ll instantly begin looking for someone else, and she’ll stand a better chance of marrying if she’s completely free, which she won’t be if she has Wendy.’
Teri thought about this, but made no comment on it. Instead she asked tentatively if he had mentioned Linda to his wife.
‘No, I didn’t dare. A jealous woman is a dangerous woman, but you don’t need to be told that.’
‘No. Rosalind always was rather jealous, if you remember?’
He agreed, admitting that life had at times been made most uncomfortable by his wife’s jealousy.
‘It’s darned unpleasant when you’ve a row to face because you’ve merely been amiable to a woman.’
Teri was learning things about Rosalind which she did not know, and she found herself hoping that Jon would in the end decide not to go back to her. Teri and Jon had always been close and she could not bear to think of his being unhappy. At first, she had thought that perhaps with time he and Rosalind would be able to make a go of it, but not now.
‘You did love her, though,’ she murmured, speaking her thoughts aloud, and Jon did not deny this. He could not, simply because he had been utterly broken when his wife left him, just as Teri had been broken when Kemp broke the engagement. Had Rosalind returned earlier Jon would probably have taken her back, determined to forgive and forget. Now, however, he had met Linda and comparisons must assuredly have left Rosalind wanting.
It was almost tea time and Jon said he would go and bring Wendy in. She had managed to get over her dejection and was her usual bright self as they sat on the stoep having their tea.
‘Can I come to the dance with you?’ she asked on hearing her father and Teri discussing it. ‘I can dance; Auntie Linda taught me one day when I went to Uncle Brand’s house. Shall I show you?’
‘No, pet, have your tea.’
‘When I’ve had it, then? Daddy, will you dance with me so we can show Auntie Teri? Can I come with you?’ she asked again without waiting for an answer to her first question.
‘You’re too young,’ replied Jon. ‘Little girls aren’t allowed in the club.’
‘Why?’
‘Because it’s only for ladies and gentlemen.’
‘Don’t they have dances for children?’
‘Not at the club.’
‘Can I go when I’m big?’
‘Of course.’
‘Auntie Linda’s going to teach me to play tennis as well, and I can go to the tennis because she told me she’d take me - when I could play properly, of course. Uncle Brand has a tennis court and that’s where I’m going to learn. Will you buy me a bat, Daddy, the next time you go into Oaksville?’
‘I’ll buy you a racquet, yes. And we know Uncle Brand has a tennis court; we’ve played on it. Have you forgotten?’
‘No, but I didn’t play, did I?’
‘You hadn’t a racquet, and in any case, you can’t play yet.’
‘I wish I was big,’ Wendy said, her wide brow puckering in a frown. ‘Then I could come to the dance. I don’t like going to bed when you both go out.’
‘Why not? You go straight to sleep.’
‘Not always. I lie there and wonder what you and Auntie Teri are doing.’
‘You lie awake?’ Teri frowned and cast a glance at her brother. ‘I’m not all that keen on going to the dance. I’ll stay in with her.’
‘Nonsense. She’s only saying that. You should be up to her ruses by now.’ He looked affectionately at his daughter, nevertheless, and laughed when she asked what a ruse was. ‘Never mind. Do as Auntie Teri says and eat your tea.’
‘I do lie awake,’ she repeated a moment or two later. ‘It’s lonely when there’s no one in.’
‘There is someone in,’ corrected Jon. ‘Beth is always here.’
‘Is she? I called her once and she didn’t answer.’ Again Teri cast a glance at her brother.
‘That’s strange,’ she said, but Jon passed it off, saying again that Wendy was only saying that.
‘Beth’s paid to stay in and I’m quite certain she does. She’s always here when we come in, no matter how late it is.’
‘Well, she wasn’t in that night,’ asserted Wendy. ‘I wanted a drink, but she didn’t come and I fell asleep, so I didn’t need a drink after all.’
‘Do you think Beth goes out during the evening?’ Teri felt a tinge of perturbation as she glanced at Jon. ‘Surely she doesn’t go home and then come back?’