Dare to Live

by S. B. Alexander

  He’d purchased a couple after my mom had entered a mental health facility. For one, he didn’t want us boys to be afraid of guns because of what had happened to my sister, which was why he’d joined the local gun club and enrolled us boys as well. I wasn’t into shooting like Kade was, but I knew how to handle a gun and wasn’t afraid to use one if I had to.

  Still, I wouldn’t force Jessie not to ride her motorcycle. She was who she was because of the things she loved to do.

  “Part of your mom’s recovery is learning how to use a gun and gun safety,” he said.

  I reared back. “Since when?” I hadn’t seen her with one, and she hadn’t talked about it.

  “She doesn’t want you boys to know. She’s been going to the gun club with me on Sunday mornings.”

  “That’s fantastic, Dad.” I never thought in a million years my mother would ever pick up a gun. She hadn’t been interested in them even when Karen had been alive.

  He got this faraway look in his eyes that screamed how much he loved her. “I’m extremely proud of her.”

  “So, wait, are you saying I should learn how to ride a motorcycle?”

  He pushed out a shoulder. “It wouldn’t hurt. It might get you over your fear.”

  I wasn’t sure I could get on a motorcycle. “So how do I get past Donovan?”

  A blue SUV caught my eye, coming down the driveway.

  Speaking of the ass, Donovan was behind the wheel, while Jessie was in the passenger’s seat. My blood began to boil just seeing them together.

  Dad dumped his empty beer bottle into a trash can near the open bay door. “They weren’t supposed to be here for another hour.”

  I whipped my head at Dad. “You knew they were coming?”

  The SUV stopped at the tail end of my truck. I had the water hose in the way, so Donovan couldn’t go any farther.

  “Jessie called me and asked when we would be home. She wanted to make sure I was here when Mack picked up his Harley.”

  I wondered if that was the reason Donovan hadn’t returned my calls.

  Jessie hopped out and appeared eager to run into my arms, but then she checked on Donovan and didn’t move.

  What the fuck! I felt as if she’d just shoved her hand inside my chest, grabbed my heart, and squeezed it until it stopped beating.

  Once Donovan turned off the engine, he got out as though he was reluctant to even step foot on our property. As he should be. He ran a hand through his unruly blond crop as he lifted his shoulders up to his ears with a hard glint in his eyes. His thick legs carried him closer to Dad and me as he regarded his Harley. “Thank you for tuning her up.” His tone was devoid of any emotion even though his hands were balled into fists.

  I shook my head. The dude couldn’t be serious to think he would fight me in front of my dad or with my mom in the house. You attacked him at his place of work. So what’s the difference?

  I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans. That way, I wouldn’t be tempted to fight back. I wouldn’t, anyway. Jessie stood with her body frozen and anxiety written all over her pretty face.

  Dad strode over to the Harley with Donovan. “You’re welcome. I used to ride one in my college days.”

  Donovan’s eyebrow quirked up, and his tone softened. “What model?”

  “I had a sixty-seven Sportster,” Dad said. “I sold it when I got married.”

  Donovan flipped a thumb at Dad’s car. “Is that your Chevelle?”

  Dad nodded. “I restored her two years ago.”

  Donovan dropped his shoulders as he went over to inspect my dad’s car. My dad joined him, chatting away as he popped the hood.

  Shock rippled through me, seeing how Donovan went from cold and ready to fight to friendly with my dad. But my bigger concern at the moment was the beautiful woman who was entranced as she too watched the interaction between Donovan and my dad. I wanted her to come closer to me. Yet for some reason, she was keeping her distance, and that didn’t sit well with me. Then go over to her, you idiot.

  I did as my conscious ordered me to. “A penny for your thoughts.”

  “I’m waiting for you to—” Her voice shook.

  “Throw the first punch,” I said.

  “You’ve been the one to start every fight with Mack,” she said decisively, as though she’d been dying to get that off her chest for a while.

  I hadn’t started every fight, but arguing wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere. The bottom line was Donovan and I had been in each other’s face regardless of who had started it.

  “So it’s okay for him to push my mom?” Fury colored my words.

  Dad began pointing out certain things on the engine, while Donovan inspected each one.

  “Not at all.” Jessie’s tone evened out as she turned to face me. “Please resolve things with Mack.”

  “Or what?” I raised my voice. “Are you going to call my dad again and tattle on me?”

  She pursed those sweet lips together as her body went rigid. “I don’t trust you two together.”

  I couldn’t argue with her on that one.

  “Is there a problem over there?” Donovan asked as he started for us.

  My dad caught his arm. “Easy, big guy. I don’t want any trouble.”

  Donovan shrugged out of Dad’s hold. “Tell that to your son.”

  Jessie rushed to get in between us. “If the only way both of you are going to settle your differences is to fight, then use that ring over there.” She jabbed a finger at the boxing ring inside the garage.

  Dad sidled up to Jessie. “That won’t happen. No one is fighting. In fact, I would like Jessie to see how Mrs. Maxwell is doing inside.”

  Jessie flared her cute nostrils as she considered all of us.

  Gently, Dad placed a hand on Jessie’s back. “I promise you they will not touch each other.”

  “I think they should. Maybe then both of them will wise up.” She stormed off and into the house.

  She hadn’t wanted us to fight, and now she did. Whether in the ring or out, nothing good could come from feeling bone against bone. When I’d hit Donovan at The Cave, it hadn’t helped wash away the past. It certainly hadn’t taken away my hatred toward him when he and I had gone at it in Jessie’s shop the other day.

  When the sliding door closed behind her, my dad grabbed my arm and Donovan’s. “In the garage, both of you.” His tone was sharp as a knife, and one I hadn’t heard from him since he’d found out that Kross and I had ganged up on Greg Sullivan—the very reason he’d sent Kross, Kelton, and me to Greenridge Academy during the tenth grade.

  Donovan obeyed rather quickly. Maybe he was hoping we would get in the ring. The only thing boxing him would do would be to give me a moment of satisfaction that I got to punch him again.

  Gritting my teeth, I planted my ass down on the cushioned floor of the ring. Meanwhile, Donovan was seething as he paced near a workbench adjacent to me.

  Dad pointed to an empty spot next to me. “Mack, sit down.”

  Donovan grunted as he obeyed my dad.

  I was a little shocked that he listened to Dad once again.

  My dad rolled up his shirtsleeves. “Mack, I can’t say I’m not angry with you for what you did to Kody several years ago. I understand that boys will fight, but not to the point where you and your buddies beat my son into a coma. If I would’ve known then who you were, I would’ve pressed charges. But my boys wouldn’t tell me who was responsible until your friend got hurt. They thought they could handle the situation on their own,” Dad said curtly. “So here we are.”

  Mack motioned to stand. “I don’t need to be ganged up on again. Your older son and Kody did that already.”

  Dad tilted his head at me. “Seriously?” Disappointment rode that one word. “Well, this hostility you both have ends today.”

  Mack sat back down.

  I kept my mouth shut. Sure, Dad couldn’t ship me off to another boarding school, but he could kick me out of the boathouse and tell me to find my own
place. I wasn’t opposed to the idea. I just wasn’t ready financially.

  Dad folded his arms over his chest and began pacing. “Mack, I sense you’ve never had a male role model in your life, and I’m not trying to be one. But you’re on my property. You almost hurt my wife. So therefore, you will listen.” Dad’s tone was venomous. “I believe in second chances.” He wagged his finger between us. “I don’t think you two will ever be best buds, but it is time for both of you to move on. If you both want to make Jessie happy, then I would suggest that you look forward and not back and start talking to each other. No throwing fists, or I’ll be forced to throw a few of my own. Are we clear?”

  My eyebrows shot up. “Dad?”

  Dad was as tall as all of us boys but not as broad as Kade or Kross. Regardless, I was certain he could put a hurt on Donovan and me even though I’d never seen him box or throw a punch. But he was retired Special Forces, so I had no doubt that my old man could fight.

  He held up his hand. “I’m talking,” he said through clenched teeth.

  Snickering, Donovan’s shoulders slumped as though the fight had left him.

  I snarled. “Why are you even listening to my father?”

  He puffed out his chest. “Because I do want Jessie to be happy. I’m also finding I respect your old man.”

  I wanted Jessie to be happy too. Hell, I wanted to make all her wishes come true.

  Dad pinched his chin in between his fingers. “Mack, tell Kody why you participated in ganging up on him back in high school.”

  “Because Kade was an asshole,” Donovan said as sure as the sun was shining.

  “So why did you take it out on me?” I asked.

  Mack’s nose ring moved when he flared his nostrils. “You were the weaker of the brothers, and we wanted to send a message to Kade.” His tone was rough as though he were remembering that day. He turned to my dad. “We never intended to beat Kody senseless. We were high on some prescription drug that day.” Then he gave me a sidelong glance. “Let’s not forget you did a number on Sullivan.”

  My dad lifted his eyebrows in agreement.

  I ground my back teeth. “I never said I was innocent. But we didn’t go after you.”

  “Why not?”

  I leaned my elbows on my thighs. “Because Sullivan was the leader. When the leader falls, his teammates fall too.” I stole a look at my dad.

  A muscle fluttered along his jaw. He’d always taught us boys that the leader of any army was the glue that held the troops together. Take out the source, and the problem was usually solved.

  Donovan touched his lip ring with his tongue. “Mm. I guess you have a point there. After Sullivan landed in a coma, Stockman and I did lay low.”

  I spotted my mom and Jessie heading down the stairs of the deck. Jessie’s tight features contrasted with my mom’s smile.

  My dad followed my line of sight.

  “You need to apologize to my mom,” I said with no emotion.

  “I agree with my son,” Dad added. “Frankly, you’re lucky I didn’t knock your ass into the hospital that day.”

  My mom’s blue gaze bounced from me to Donovan then to my dad as she approached. “Have you settled your differences?”

  Donovan and I hopped to our feet.

  Jessie pressed her lips into a thin line, seemingly holding her breath.

  Donovan cupped his hands in front of him. “Mrs. Maxwell, I’m terribly sorry for what I did to you.” It was the first time I’d heard sincerity in his voice.

  Mom glided over to him and placed a palm on his rough-looking face. “Dear, sweet boy. Thank you. I was more worried about you. Please tell me you won’t drink and get on a motorcycle, or behind the wheel of a car for that matter.”

  He shook his head vigorously. “I won’t.”

  The change in Donovan from rough to sweet, as though he were getting a talking to from his own mom, was shocking. But my mom had a way of getting anyone to do anything she asked, particularly her sons.

  Jessie’s delicate jaw opened.

  My dad just grinned lovingly at Mom.

  “Good,” Mom said. “Are you two friends?” She set her vibrant gaze on me.

  Donovan and I were far from friends. However, I didn’t feel the need to drive my fist into him. That was progress.

  “Baby steps, Mom,” I said.

  She laughed, a sound that was music to my ears. “I’m glad to hear that. If Jessie is going to be in your life, then Mack will be too.”

  My eyes went wide, and I didn’t know whether to turn my head left toward Jessie or right to see if Donovan had reacted in some way. It sounded as though Jessie had told my mom how she felt about me. I checked on Donovan, who was staring at Jessie. They exchanged a silent message. My stomach lurched. Yet if I wanted her happy, I would have to bite the bullet and accept her friendship with Donovan.

  Then Donovan said, “I need to go. Jessie, you’ll drive my car back to your house while I take my Harley?”

  She nodded.

  I might have made a breakthrough with Donovan, but I had some tension to break between Jessie and me.

  Chapter 23

  Jessie

  Mack handed me his car keys then kissed me on the cheek before he got his Harley keys from Mr. Maxwell. I stole a look out of the corner of my eye at Kody. His posture was ramrod straight. I suspected he was jealous of that peck on the cheek from Mack. I couldn’t blame him. If I knew a woman had strong feelings for Kody as Mack had for me, I would be super irked if the tables were turned.

  Mack straddled his bike. “Mr. Maxwell, thank you.” He glanced at Mrs. Maxwell, who was the epitome of a graceful woman, and a super awesome individual. “Again, I’m sorry.”

  Despite all Mack’s flaws, he could be sweet and a gentleman when he wanted to be. Regardless, I had no idea what Mr. Maxwell had said or done, but when Mack and Mr. Maxwell had been inspecting the engine of the Chevelle, I’d noticed the connection that Mack had made with Mr. Maxwell. I only hoped that Kody and Mack could do the same.

  In the car on the way to Kody’s house, I hadn’t asked him to settle his differences with Kody. I hadn’t even asked him to apologize to Mrs. Maxwell. Mack had to do all the above on his terms. I knew he’d put off getting his bike because he was embarrassed over his actions of pushing a woman. He would’ve never done that to my mom or his, even when drunk. I wasn’t making excuses for him. However, I believed everyone deserved the chance to redeem himself.

  Still, the car ride had been uncomfortable when he’d broached the subject of him and me.

  “I’ve been in love with you from the moment I met you,” he’d said. “I know you don’t love me. I can see you have feelings for Maxwell. That has made me a bit insane this last month.”

  I’d had no response for him. I wasn’t about to throw gasoline on the fire. Instead, I had listened until he asked me if he was right about my feelings for Kody. I couldn’t and wouldn’t lie.

  “Of all people, Jess, why him?” he’d asked.

  “A person can’t help who they fall in love with,” I’d said.

  He’d gone quiet before he spoke. “I guess I can’t argue with you on that point.”

  The engine roared to life, jolting me out of my memory.

  Mrs. Maxwell covered her ears. I smiled for the first time since I’d gotten there. Mr. Maxwell swung his arm around his wife, while Kody and I kept our distance from each other. I’d wanted to run into his arms the moment I’d gotten out of the car. But Mack’s wound was fresh, and I hadn’t wanted to ruin a potential cease-fire between Mack and Kody.

  After Mack rode away, Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell sighed. I did too, although Kody was still frozen like a statue. Somehow, I had to figure out a way to get him to thaw out.

  “Jessie,” Mr. Maxwell said. “Do you and I need to talk?”

  After our first session, we’d never made plans to talk again. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t keep taking advantage of the free sessions. Nevertheless, my main goal b
efore I got into Mack’s car was to spend a minute with Kody and make sure he and I were okay. Actually, more than a minute, but if he wasn’t going to let go of his ire, then maybe I would follow Mack back to my house.

  I held on to the back of my neck. “No, sir. I talked to Mrs. Maxwell.” Not that I’d asked for her advice.

  Yet she’d been extremely candid about her son as though she had been itching to get her thoughts off her chest. “Kody is scared to let his guard down. It’s extremely difficult for him to be reminded of his past. But I think you were brought into his life to help him overcome his fears of opening his heart and coming to terms with what those boys did to him. But don’t string him along. I can’t bear to see him hurt again.”

  Maybe Kody and I had met for those reasons and more. At least I hoped I wasn’t in his life only to help him but to share a mutual love and respect for each other.

  “Are you taking over my job?” Mr. Maxwell teased.

  Her cheeks reddened. “Of course not. Let’s leave them alone, Martin.”

  “Kody,” his dad said. “We’ll talk more later.”

  Kody finally thawed, dipping his chin at his dad.

  His parents walked out, talking about dinner and a shower. As their voices faded, my pulse grew louder in my ears. The air in the garage hadn’t thinned out. So I marched the few feet up to Kody and poked him in the chest, hoping to break the barrier around him. My finger only met hard muscle.

  “Say something,” I demanded in a tone that was usually reserved for my brother when we got into an argument.

  He inhaled deeply then exhaled, his beer breath breezing over me. “I’m not sure what has happened in the last hour or so. But the one thing that is bothering me is you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Stop being jealous.”

  He let out a laugh, and it was one that grated on me. “You want me to get along with Donovan, yet you don’t want to come near me when he’s around us. That’s not how it’s going to work, Jess. You can’t be on edge every time he’s with us. Otherwise, you and me won’t work. I’m not going to sneak around. I’m not going to feel bad because you’re mine. Above all, I’m not going to apologize for having feelings for you.”