by La Jill Hunt
“Hey, pretty lady.” Josh greeted me when I stepped out the back door.
“Are you speaking to me or her?” I teased, winking at him.
“Clearly, he’s talking to me,” Bailey said. “Hey, Josh. The house looks great.”
“Hola, mami. Qué hace una estrella volando tan bajo?” Caldwell winked at Bailey.
“I don’t know what the hell that means, Caldwell. It better not be nasty or I’m gonna punch you in your throat,” she warned him half-jokingly.
* * *
The party was a major success, and I was able to meet lots of Josh and Georgette’s family members and friends, many of whom were excited that Josh was home.
“This is more like a welcome home party for you than a housewarming for the house,” I told him as we danced. “For someone who didn’t wanna be back here, it looks like you’re enjoying yourself.”
“I am,” he said happily. “I think that has a lot to do with you, too. But we’ll discuss that later. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll see.”
I became nervous, wondering what the surprise could be.
“Josh! Hey there.” Tam sauntered over and hugged him. Another woman, looking like her minus the plastic surgery, stood nearby. “This is my sister, Jeri.”
“Nice to meet you, Jeri.”
“Same here. My sister was right. This place is incredible. I love what you’ve done with it.”
“That wasn’t me. That was Zen. She’s the designer.” He walked over and stood beside me, “Oh, and Caldwell, the contractor, is over there.”
“Well, kudos to you all. I’d love to sit down and discuss some business with you when you get a free moment. I know Tam has told you I’m interested in listing the property when you’re ready,” Jeri said.
“Yeah, we talked about that, but I actually already have a realtor I’m working with right now,” Josh said.
My jaw dropped, and I was unable to move for a second, stunned. I excused myself and went inside, going up the stairs into the master bedroom, where I sat down and cried. All the work we had done, the time we spent, the progress we made, and Josh was still selling the house. And he hadn’t even mentioned it, not one word. Something told me he hadn’t mentioned anything to his mother, either.
“Zen, are you okay?” Georgette tapped on the open door.
“Oh, I’m fine,” I said, wiping my tears.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
I was about to say “nothing,” but instead, I told her, “He’s selling the house.”
“Who’s selling what house?”
“Josh. He’s selling this one. He’s already working with an agent to list it. I tried to talk him out of it, and I thought he changed his mind, but he didn’t.”
The look of concern turned to one of pain, and now, she began crying. I hugged her, and we cried together.
“What the hell is going on? Why are y’all up here crying?” Josh walked in.
“Don’t use that language with me, Joshua,” Georgette snapped at him and stood up.
“I’m sorry, Mom. But what’s wrong? What happened?”
“I can’t believe you,” she whispered.
“What is she talking about?” He turned to me.
“I told her about you selling the house.”
“What? Why would you tell her that?” he asked.
“Because she needed to know. I didn’t want her to drive over here and see a For Sale sign in the yard. I have too much respect for her, unlike you, so I told her what you’re doing,” I snapped.
“Okay, I don’t know where all of this is coming from, but I think there’s been some kind of mix-up. I’m not selling this house.”
Both Georgette and I stared at him, now even more confused.
“You’re not? But you told Tam’s sister that you’re working with a realtor already.”
“I am. I’m buying another house.”
“Another house, Joshua? You’re going to have that expensive apartment and this house already.”
“An investment property that I’m going to remodel.” He smiled at me. “I’m gonna live here in this house while my team and I flip the other one.”
I smiled at him and said, “You and your team?”
He nodded and pulled me up off the bed. “Yeah, I got an amazing team that I work with. Caldwell, of course, and a talented young designer that I came across.”
“Oh, Joshua, that’s wonderful news.” Georgette clapped. “Your father would be so proud. And Ephraim.”
“Yeah, I think they would.” He nodded. “I guess it took losing the both of them to show me what I really needed. So, you ready to work?”
“I can’t think of a better loser to work for than you,” I said, feeling full of joy and hope.
Lusting for a Big Girl
A Full Figured Story
By
C. N. Phillips
Girls with the most beautiful hearts always seem to have the most insecurities. They say that it is about what’s on the inside, but how can that be true when the outside is what the world sees first?
Chapter 1
Teeka
The soft crooning of Eric Bellinger filled a large, candlelit bedroom, and soft moans acted as ad libs to the music. Clothing was strewn about the floor like bread crumbs leading to the king-sized bed, taken off by someone in a rush. The bed was moving in a way that only a man making love to a woman could make it move. One final scream of pleasure entered the atmosphere before the bumping and grinding stopped.
Teeka Smith lay on her back and tried to catch her breath after the ride Keelan Metoyer had just taken her on. She swore she could see stars—or maybe that was just the shadow of candle flames dancing on the walls. Her eyes locked with his as he lay nestled between her legs, trying to steady his breathing. Her soft hand found its way to his cheek, and she stroked it tenderly.
“I love you,” she said, staring intensely at him. “The things you do to me, and the way you made me feel . . . I don’t want to get that anywhere else.”
Tiny beads of sweat rested at his temples. His hair was cut into a brush cut with waves so deep that Teeka wanted to dive in them. She was addicted to everything about him, from his mind all the way down to his sexy, muscular body. He had a tattoo across his chest of a brick underpass with graffiti spray-painted all over it. She traced it with her fingers every time they made love. In that moment, she used it as a getaway from his gaze.
She’d finally done it. She’d finally told him how she really felt about him.
She heard him sigh and felt him remove himself from inside of her. The bed dipped beside her, and he lay on his side, facing her. His hands fondled her D-sized breasts and pinched her brown nipples.
“I thought we said we weren’t going to do that,” he said. “That catching feelings would make things complicated.”
“But that was seven months ago.” Her voice was soft when she spoke.
“And I still feel the same way now as I did then.”
She honestly hadn’t known what kind of response to expect from him. She had hoped for something good, though. His bluntness almost made her speechless, but she still wanted clarification.
“So, you don’t feel the same way?”
“I mean, we’re cool,” he said. “The sex is great and we vibe, but I never really thought about making you my girl or nothing. If that’s what you’re asking.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry, T. K. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings or anything. I just thought we both understood what this was. I’m about to hop in the shower, all right?”
“Okay.”
She didn’t know what else to say. She watched him get up from the bed, watched him go to his closet to grab towels, and she watched him head toward the master bathroom. Her eyes scanned over his body—his in-shape body. Fitness was a big thing to him, and he was cut everywhere that he could be. Teeka blinked, coming out of her daze, and sat
up on the bed.
“Keelan,” she said right before he shut the bathroom door.
“What’s up, T. K.?” he said, looking back at her.
“Is it . . . is it because I’m a big girl that you won’t be with me?”
“What?”
“I know what our arrangement was, but after all of this time, you mean to tell me that you don’t feel anything for me?”
“Of course I do, but why complicate things?”
“What would be complicated? We’re both adults, we both make good money, and like you said, we vibe. The sex is great. Everything is there. The only thing that could possibly stand in the way is my weight. I’m good enough to fuck, but not be with. Is that it?”
Keelan sighed, and his eyes graced the ceiling before he turned them back on Teeka. He opened his mouth to speak, but then stopped, seeming like he changed his mind.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Teeka.”
“I want you to be honest with me,” she said, clutching his burgundy satin sheets to her chest. “You speak your mind any other time, so why not now?”
“Okay then,” he said. “Here it is. You are a pretty woman, but I like my women fit and smaller. I want my woman to be a reflection of me because I want her to look good by my side. I don’t care to hear people saying ‘Keelan got himself a big girl.” And I also think it would be selfish of me to ask you to change yourself for me. So, to answer your question in your own words . . . yes. Yes, you are good enough to fuck but not be my woman. But that does not mean you aren’t a good woman. After tonight, and after me saying all of this, I completely understand if you don’t want to see me at all anymore.”
Teeka had wanted him to be honest, but she didn’t think his honesty would crush her the way that it did. She was sure that her hurt read all over her face, because she had felt it drop, but she held in her tears.
“Thank you for your honesty,” she whispered and lowered her eyes to the bed. “You can get in the shower now.”
“T. K.—”
“You’ve said everything that you needed to say. Now please, shut the door so that I can get dressed. I don’t want you to have to look at any of my rolls. How rude of me would that be?”
She heard Keelan groan, but he must have known not to say anything else because the next thing she knew, she heard the door shut. She was glad, too, because she couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. Her brown cheeks were wet, and her eyesight was blurry as she hurried to get dressed. The shower water hadn’t even been on for a full two minutes when she made a beeline for the front door of his condo.
She could still feel the moistness between her legs as she made her way to the elevator that led to the parking garage. Her shirt was on backward, but she didn’t care. It was almost midnight. She doubted anyone would see her leaving.
Ding!
The elevator doors opened up, and she instantly spotted her cherry red 2008 Ford Focus a little ways away. All she wanted to do was get home and soak in the tub. She knew it wouldn’t wash her hurt away, but it would soothe the pain a little. She hoped so, anyway.
He doesn’t want to be with me because I’m fat, she thought on the ride home. Why does this always happen to me? Why come onto me in the first place? I was the same size back then that I am now.
The reason it hurt so bad was that it was an already existing wound cut open all over again. For as long as she could remember, Teeka had been bigger than most of the women around her. When she was younger, she was a round, plump girl. When she became an adult, her mother would always say that she wasn’t fat, she was a full-figured woman. Although her body had an hourglass shape and she had a big bottom that sat up, Teeka weighed a little under two hundred pounds. Her stomach didn’t poke out too much anymore, but there was definitely still a pouch there. She had a pretty, heart-shaped face with full lips and doe-shaped brown eyes, with eyelashes so long that they looked like extensions. Men often told her how beautiful she was to them, and she believed them—until they got between her legs and stopped calling. No matter what, things always ended the same. She was the girl no one wanted to take home to their parents and friends.
There was one thing that Keelan had said that was correct, though. Despite her horrible dating track record, she was happy with her life. She loved everything about herself, including every roll and every curve. There had been times where she hit the gym and tried to lose weight, but whenever she looked in a mirror, there was nothing about herself that she wanted to change. She accepted who she was inside and out.
Still, that didn’t make Keelan’s words hurt any less.
When she finally got home to her one-bedroom apartment, she stripped out of her jeans and blouse so that she could take a shower. At first, she wanted to take a bath, but there was something about feeling the hot water spilling down her body that calmed her nerves. The sound of the water running and the steam building up around her made her get lost in her own mind. She thought back to when she’d first seen Keelan at her job, and how handsome he was. He was an executive at the law firm where she was a secretary. She hated that the memory was still so fresh in her mind—so fresh that she could still smell the cologne he was wearing....
* * *
“Acqua Di Gio?” Teeka’s voice came out confident as she stood behind the new guy.
“Excuse me?” He turned around to face her.
Teeka had just entered the large breakroom to grab a water bottle and some coffee the way she did at the beginning of every work day. She was wearing her best cream-colored, skinny-leg pantsuit with a pair of three-inch red pumps. The room was usually empty because she was often the first one in the office, but that day, she was surprised to see a tall figure looming over one of the Keurig machines. He was wearing a crisp navy blue suit and rocking a fresh haircut. When she approached the counter, she got a whiff of his cologne, and she instantly smiled because it was one of her favorites.
“Your cologne. It’s Acqua Di Gio, right?” she repeated herself with a smile. “I’m sorry, it’s just one of my favorites.”
“No, you’re good,” he said, returning her smile. Lord, was that man fine. “But yes, you’re correct. It was a gift from my parents last Christmas. I just found it, actually, in the move.”
“Oh, that’s right. I heard Mr. O’Brian saying that you weren’t from Chicago,” she said, mentioning her boss’s name.
“Steve is your boss?” he asked. “So that must mean you’re a—”
“Secretary,” she finished so he wouldn’t guess incorrectly. “I was on my lunch when you started on Monday, so we weren’t properly introduced. Keelan Metoy, right? I’m Teeka.”
She held her hand out so that he could shake it. One thing that Teeka had never been was shy. She used to get picked on a lot in school, but she figured a way to get a grip on it was communication. She made sure that she was friendly with everyone. That way, no matter what happened, she was never the bad guy in any situation. Right then and there, she just saw a fine man who she wanted to talk to, so she did. She wouldn’t let her physique stop her from doing anything that she wanted to do.
She liked how his eyes stayed on her face instead of roaming her body. She was all too used to that when it came to men. She was voluptuous; she knew that. But she was still a person, not an object.
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Teeka. Now that I’m seeing you, I wish I would have met you on Monday.”
Teeka wasn’t sure what he meant by that comment, but she didn’t think he was flirting. Or maybe he was and she was just being naïve about it. His eyes may not have trailed her body, but the moment he turned his attention back to the Keurig machine, Teeka’s eyes were all over him. Her eyes stopped at his ring finger, and she smirked to herself when she saw that nothing was there.
“Something funny?”
Dammit. He’d caught her staring at him.
“Oh, no.” She shook her head and walked over to the stainless steel refrigerator. “I was just thinking to myself.”
She grabbed one of the many water bottles on the fridge door before closing it. She tried to form her thoughts to words, but when she looked back at him, she had nothing. He was watching her curiously, waiting for her next move. She wondered if he’d seen her staring at his tight butt.
“I was wondering where you came from and . . . and if you left a family behind, I guess. I’m sorry if that’s overstepping my boundaries. I know you don’t know me like that.”
“No, it’s fine. You’d be surprised how many times I get that inquiry, actually.” He chuckled. “No, I am not married, and no, I don’t have any children. I’m twenty-nine, from Milwaukee, but after receiving this job offer, I realized it was time for a fresh start somewhere new.”
“Well, we’re all glad to have you here, Mr. Metoy,” Teeka said and started out the door. “Have a good day! I need to go get started on some of Mr. O’Brian’s files before he gets here.”
“All right. And, Teeka?”
She paused to look over her shoulder. “Yes?”
“You can call me Keelan.”
* * *
Teeka snapped back to the present and realized that her trip down memory lane had lasted longer than she thought. The hot water that had once spouted from the shower head was now barely warm. She washed up and got out of the shower. The silk sheets on her queen-sized bed were calling her name. She dried off and applied lotion to her body before climbing nude into her bed.
The clock read a little before two in the morning, and she had half a mind to call her best friend, Lynne, and wake her up. Teeka decided to wait to bother her with the tea tomorrow. All she wanted to do then was close her eyes and pretend that nothing bad had happened that night. Of course, it was easier said than done, because Keelan Metoyer plagued her dreams all night long.
When you break someone’s heart and destroy them on the inside, you lose the right to say that you care about their well-being. You don’t get to wonder how they are doing now and if they are okay, because if it was genuine, then you would not have hurt them in the first place.