by La Jill Hunt
“You hate me?” Keelan asked when he finally came up for air. He positioned himself between her legs and looked down in her face. “Huh, Teeka? Do you really hate me?”
“I–I hate you for making me love you if I can’t have you. What about me, Keelan? Am I just supposed to forget about you? Am I just supposed to let you go?”
“I don’t want you to,” he said, and she felt the tip of his manhood at her opening. “I want you to love me.”
“That’s not what you said Friday.”
“Fuck what I said Friday. I was trying to push you away, but when I realized that meant you would be out of my life . . . it wasn’t worth it.
“You can’t have her . . . and me,” she whispered.
“Then—” He forced himself inside of her and gasped at how wet she was. “Then tell me not to get married.”
“Keelan!”
“Tell me!” he said, thrusting inside of her with more power.
“Oh, Keelan!” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her cheek on his shoulder. “Please don’t get married! Be with me.”
“Okay,” he said and continued to touch her in places he never had before. “Just don’t leave me. Don’t give up on me. Please, T. K., I don’t even want to think about another man inside of this pussy. Not my pussy.”
He sexed her for another hour and kissed her all over. She lost count of how many positions they did that night, but it still wasn’t enough. He brought her to four more orgasms before finally letting off his own nut.
When he pulled himself out of her, he fell on the bed next to her and caught his breath. She scooted as close to him as she could and rested her head on his shoulder. Her chest heaved as she, too, tried to get a grasp on what had just happened. The two lay in the darkness without saying a word for what seemed like forever. Teeka was almost certain that he had fallen asleep, but then he spoke.
“I was serious,” he said.
She felt the vibrations from his voice under her face. She swallowed the saliva in her throat and tried to find the words to say. When nothing came, she decided to pretend she didn’t know what he was talking about.
“Serious about what?”
“About not getting married. She wants it to happen next month, and honestly, all I’ve done these past seven months was get used to the thought of it not happening.”
“What about her?”
“I love her,” he said, and Teeka stiffened where she lay. “But the love I have for her is different now. I don’t feel the same that I did before. I mean, I want to settle down, just not with her anymore.”
“Why? And don’t say because you met me.”
“Well, that is one of the big reasons, but . . . I don’t know. We just don’t mesh the same. Like, she wants money over happiness, and I’m the complete opposite. She doesn’t want kids, and I do. She wants me to be the kind of man her father is, and I can’t be that for her and still be the same man that I want to be for myself. I don’t know.... It’s complicated. I thought that maybe I could go through with it, but her being here over the weekend reminds me of why I can’t. Of why we were apart in the first place. I’m sorry if this is stuff that you don’t want to hear.”
“Don’t be sorry. I just wish that it was something you told me when we first met. I would have understood, and maybe we wouldn’t be here right now,” Teeka said and sat up. “But you took that choice from me. I’m not mad at you anymore, Keelan. I sympathize with you. No, I don’t want you to get married, and yes, I want you to be with me . . . but what will that cost me?”
“What are you saying, Teeka?”
“I’m saying . . .” She sighed. “I’m saying that I love you, Keelan, but I think you should take some time to yourself and figure out what you really want in life, because we only get one of those. Go home, Keelan. I’ll be all right.”
“ T. K.—”
“Thank you for giving me the best dick I’ve ever had, and showing me that I do know how to love somebody. Before you came here tonight, I’ll be honest, I was a complete mess. While you were fucking me, I was completely vulnerable. But now? Now I see things for what they really are, and I refuse to be the other woman while you decide what you want. That’s not fair to me, and no matter how much I care about you, I have to care about myself more. This can’t happen again, Keelan. I think it’s time for you to go home to your fiancée before she starts to wonder where you are.”
Teeka’s eyes had adjusted to the dark, so she could see the shock on his face. She wanted to take back every word she had just said, but she knew that she meant them. What would she look like carrying on any kind of relationship with another woman’s man? True, before Keelan, her dating record had been pretty much nonexistent, but she would be damned if she settled for the situation at hand. She wasn’t that desperate.
“This isn’t what I want,” he said.
“I don’t think you know what you want.”
“I want you.”
“Then why is another woman living in your house?”
He was silent. He sighed big and got up from Teeka’s bed to gather his clothes. When he was fully dressed, he turned back to face her.
“Okay, I’ll go. For now. Will you at least speak to me at work?” he asked.
“Of course.”
“Are you going to walk me to the door?”
“Nope, because I didn’t open it for you,” she said, and she could have sworn a look of sadness washed over his face. “Oh, and Mr. Metoy? Leave my key on the dining room table before you leave and lock the bottom lock. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
No matter who and where you are, time always discovers the truth.
Chapter 5
Keelan
He didn’t know what he was playing at, going over to Teeka’s place like that. Did he really think that she would be okay with the fact that he had a whole relationship he’d kept hidden from her? He had hoped that when he told her his true thoughts, she would . . . what? Be with him?
“Shit!” he said to himself as he drove his SL Benz on the highway.
With what he’d said on Friday, mixed with what had happened not even thirty minutes ago, he probably seemed like one confused man. As he drove home, he could still smell her scent on him. He could still feel the softness of her skin on his body. Little did she know he hadn’t even had plans to go home that night, especially after being inside of her again. He had wanted to wake up to her and even cook her breakfast in the morning before they both went to work. His overnight bag sat packed and unused in the backseat. He would have come up with something to tell Alecia the next day, but all he wanted to do was be with Teeka.
He wished that he’d never agreed to make things work with Alecia. He wished that he had just told her he was content with life without her; but then her father would pull out of the deal with Etco. It was the same deal that was going to make him vice president of the company. It was all such a sticky situation. So much was riding on the merger between Clout Enterprises and ETCO that the last thing he wanted to do was anything that would upset Alecia.
He couldn’t get the tone of Teeka’s voice or the last words she’d said to him out of his head. She sounded definite in her decision. If there was one thing he knew about that woman, it was that she knew her worth. They both knew that she was too good to come second to any man and that she deserved everything he wanted to give her. Except he couldn’t. Not while, as she had so nicely put it, he had another woman living in his home. Teeka was done with him, and the only way for him to get her back would be to cut things off completely with Alecia, but that was something he couldn’t do either.
“Fuck!” He banged on the steering wheel as he parked his car in the parking garage of his condo. He reached in the gym bag and pulled out some Axe so that he could spray it on himself. He smelled like Teeka’s perfume, and Alecia was sure to smell it on him as soon as he stepped foot in the house.
Once he felt as though he’d masked the scent, he grabbed the bag
and got out of the car. Teeka was on his brain the whole walk to his unit. Before he stuck the key into the lock to open the door, he took a big breath and tried to pull himself together.
“Hi, baby!” Alecia gushed as soon as he opened the door. “I was literally just wondering when you’d be coming home from the gym.”
She had been in the kitchen pouring herself a cup of orange juice when he walked in. She was wearing nothing but a robe and underwear underneath. Her hair was pulled back, and the makeup that she wore daily was completely wiped from her face, showcasing her natural beauty. She eyed him seductively, and it seemed as though she’d forgotten all about the orange juice.
“Hey, Leesh,” he said, completely disregarding her getup and the fact that she was staring at him like a hungry tiger. He started toward the bedroom. “I’m about to hop in the shower and go to bed. I have to get up early.”
“You want to go to sleep”—she came and blocked his way—“when I’m trying to let you dig into me any way that you like?”
She reached down and rubbed his crotch. Keelan’s dick reacted to her touch, but he knew that it probably still had Teeka’s dried secretions all over it. He pulled away just as she tried to take it out. Her eyebrow raised, and he could tell instantly that she was suspicious.
“I just came from the gym. I’m worn out and feel disgusting. Plus, didn’t I give you enough last night?” he asked.
“Enough is never enough.” She grinned and reached for him again. “Plus, a little sweat has never scared me, baby. You know that.”
“I know a lot that doesn’t scare you.” He grabbed her hands and kissed her quickly on the lips. “But right now, I just want to soak in some hot water. You can join me if you’d like.”
“You’re no fun tonight,” she pouted and moved out of his way. “Go on and take your stupid shower.”
He smiled and walked around her, continuing his journey to the bedroom with his gym bag on his shoulder. All he wanted to do was be alone, and he knew he wouldn’t be getting a lot of time to do that anymore.
“Oh, and honey?”
“Yeah?” He stopped, turning to face where she stood in the dining room with a raised eyebrow.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you: Why do you have Carol’s Daughter hair milk in your bathroom cabinet?”
“What?”
“The hair lotion in the bathroom. It’s for natural hair. I was wondering why it was there.”
“Oh, that,” he said, thinking quick on his toes. “That’s the brand Steve’s secretary suggested for you, isn’t it? I thought I’d grab you some just in case you were serious about trying it.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s right. Teeka, wasn’t it?”
The way she asked didn’t really sound like a question. Her eyes watched his face like a hawk for any sudden change. His heart was racing, but he played it cool by shrugging his shoulders.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Think? You’ve been working there for how long and don’t know the secretary’s name?”
“I mean, yeah, her name is Teeka.” His heart was thumping through his chest.
She stared at him for a few more seconds before her eyes lowered slightly. “Are there any other good-looking black men that work in your job?”
“I don’t really look at other men like that. And I’m not sure why you’re asking me this,” he said.
“I’m just saying she’s pretty—I mean, if you’re into bigger women. But she’s cute, and I hope she has other eye candy to focus on besides you. I’m used to women ogling over you like a piece of meat, just not any so close to you and for so long in the day. I saw the way she looked at you at the office. I would hate to have to come up there and . . . regulate. You know Daddy hates to see me unhappy.”
“You’re tripping, Alecia.” Keelan shook his head at her.
“So, she doesn’t like you then?”
“What?”
“She’s never tried to flirt with you or anything? I mean, I know you wouldn’t talk back to her. She’s not your type at all. But still . . .”
“Still what?”
“When I showed her my ring, I swear it was like her face dropped. I swear it’s like black women can’t be happy for other black women in better positions in life than them. Maybe if she lost a few pounds then she could find a man, too.”
“I’m about to get in the shower, Alecia,” he said, brushing her off, and he saw the unsatisfied look on her face. If she was unhappy, then he knew that he would be unhappy too. “Will you be in bed when I get out?”
“I suppose,” she said and clicked her teeth.
“Good,” he said and grinned at her. “Make sure you have nothing on when I’m done. You said enough isn’t enough, right?”
She smiled big at what he was proposing and nodded her head. “Hurry up, babe. I’ve been horny since I saw you leave in those gym clothes. Oh, and thank you for the hair products. You’re so thoughtful. I think I’ll try it out tomorrow when I take this weave out.”
He winked at her and went to the room. He felt bad for lying to her about Teeka and the hair lotion. He even felt bad about the fact that he was going to sleep with her after he’d just slept with another woman, but he figured that it would be the last time—especially since he was pretty sure that he and Teeka were done.
It’s time to let him go. The way he kissed, smiled, and smelled, you have to let him go. The way his hands felt on your waist, the way he said your name, you have to let it go. Because that’s who he was . . . not who he is.
Chapter 6
Teeka
“Mama, I have to get off this phone. You know I’m at work!”
“Girl, now you know Steve ain’t gon’ be mad at you for talking to your mama, so don’t start.”
Teeka rolled her eyes to the high heavens, knowing her mother, Rashanda Smith, wasn’t going to let her get back to work without saying what she needed to say. When she’d first called her daughter, Rashanda had asked what was going on in her life. Well, Teeka made the mistake of telling her the truth, and now she was paying for it. It was a Tuesday, and it had been two weeks since Keelan had been to her house. For the most part, Teeka was doing okay, but until then, the only person she’d talked to about it was Lynne. Suddenly she remembered why.
“I told you to leave that boy alone. Any man trying to remain friends with benefits for as long as he was is always up to no good.”
“It’s not like that, Mama. He didn’t think they were going to get back together, and now that they are, I’m just going to let it be.”
“As you should. I didn’t raise you to be nobody’s side chick. Lordy, your daddy would turn over in his grave if you even thought about doing something as silly as that.”
“Well, I’m not, so can we just drop it?”
“Mm-hmm, I told you that those honey-roll thighs were going to attract some bears. Nuh-uh, not today! I’ll punch that motherfucker in his face if he even thinks about playing games with you!”
“Mama!” Teeka laughed so hard in her computer chair that she rolled backward. She scooted back to the desk and looked around to make sure she wasn’t disrupting anyone. “I can’t believe you just said that!”
“I’m serious, too! I was wondering why I hadn’t heard from you as often. Mm-hmm, I said something is wrong with my baby. You usually call me every day and stop by at least three times a week. I can’t remember the last time I saw you.”
“Mama, I was over there yesterday.”
“I was in the bed when you came over. I didn’t even have time to make you nothing to eat, so that doesn’t count, girl.”
“I’ll come over tonight then.”
“Nope, that ship has sailed. You know I play Bingo on Tuesdays with Sandy. We’re up against those cows Sheena and Alise tonight. I’m going to shout Bingo so loud in those tramps’ faces they’ll be hearing my echo for days.”
“Okay, Mama.” Teeka laughed again. “Well then, I’ll come by this weekend.”
“
That’s perfect, baby. While you’re at work, do me a favor. Tell Steve I said thank you. Tell him that I got the letter from the bank in the mail.”
“What letter from the bank?”
“The letter saying that my house is paid off. That letter!”
“What? Steve paid off you and Daddy’s house?”
“That’s right. He said it was an early birthday present, and I said well, that’s some present. There was still twenty thousand some-odd dollars left to pay on it. That man is truly heaven sent.”
“Wow! That was so nice of him,” Teeka said, genuinely shocked. Steve had always treated them as family; he was honestly like the uncle she never had, but that was definitely a blessing for her mother. “I will tell him you send your love. But I have to go, Mama. I’m trying to work here.”
“That’s fine. And all right, but don’t let me hear about you talking to no Keelan Metoy. Hear me?”
“How old am I again? I love you, Mama. See you later.”
She disconnected the phone because she knew that her mom would just keep on talking if she let her. She shook her head at her mom’s last words as she focused back on the computer screen. No matter what she did, it was like she couldn’t evade Keelan. Of course, she had to see him at work, she had even had to speak to him a few times. She was doing a great job at saving face because just like before, no one knew about anything that had transpired between her and Keelan.
“Teeka!”
She was sitting at her desk, typing up an important e-mail for Mr. O’Brian when he popped out from his back office. As usual, he was wearing a suit. That day, he had opted for gray, and his white hair was combed back. Looking at him, you wouldn’t be able to tell that he had a thing for sistas, but his wife, Sandy, could tell you different. The two had been married for over twenty years, and Mr. O’Brian hadn’t gotten enough of her chocolate yet. When Teeka looked up, she saw the older man’s smile was brighter than she’d ever seen it before.