by La Jill Hunt
“Yes, I heard you, Vic. I would have given you my number had it not been for the big girl comments that you made. Let this be a lesson that not all things need to be said out loud. Have a good night.”
She opened the door and left him sitting in the parking lot with his mouth open. She hadn’t even made it to her floor before her phone was out.
Bitch don’t you ever set me up on a blind date again. And you prepped Vic about me being a bigger woman? What kind of friend does that? No matter what size I am, I am still just a woman, like you. The fact that you felt you needed to do that lets me know what you really think about me. Don’t even text back.
She pressed the SEND button on her cell phone right as she walked through the front door of her apartment. She couldn’t believe her friend, but as much as she wanted to say fuck you in the message, she knew deep down that Lynne probably hadn’t meant any harm.
Teeka kicked her shoes off and unzipped the tight dress from the back as she walked to her room. The only light in the whole apartment was coming from the nightlights she had throughout her home. She was afraid of the dark, and Keelan used to make fun of her whenever he was over there.
Keelan . . .
Why did he always find a way to run across her mind? He was probably laid up with his fiancée, doing to her body what he used to do to Teeka’s. She crawled into her bed wearing nothing but her panties and bra so that she could curl up underneath her covers. In a matter of weeks, her life had changed so drastically. She should be laying up under him right now, getting on his nerves. She should be poking his cheek and whining about him always falling asleep on her. She should be listening to his light snores and feeling his random forehead kisses throughout the middle of the night. Why her? Why was she left to deal with the pain from his absence? Why did she have to pick up the shattered pieced of a love story that would be left untold? The emotions coming over her were so overwhelming, and there was only one way to let them out. She cried. She buried her head in her soft pillow and cried so hard her chest heaved. Teeka didn’t know how to un-love Keelan, because she didn’t want to, and because of that, she needed him. The only thing was she couldn’t have him. He belonged to somebody else.
If you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourself.
Chapter 8
Keelan
“So, are we going to talk about it?”
Keelan had just climbed into the bed beside her. Alecia’s voice stopped him as he was reaching to shut off the lamp on his nightstand, and her tone let him know that he wouldn’t be going to sleep anytime soon.
“What was that about?”
He had hoped she would leave him alone once they reached his condo, but she hadn’t let up at all.
“You made it seem the other night like you barely knew the girl. Now today it looked like the two of you were hugged up. Now, I’ll ask again. What was that about, Keelan?”
She had been following him around his bedroom like an annoying puppy dog as he stripped out of his work attire. All he wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed. All her questions were doing was making him think about the one person he would like to forget. Alecia kept trying to get in front of him and make him look at her face, but he kept turning his back to her.
“All hugged up? Now, why would I do that, especially with you popping in every other day?” he argued, still keeping his back to her in the bed.
“You know that’s just so I can be my father’s eyes and ears until he gets here this weekend. But now I can see what makes that a problem for you. How long have you been fucking her, Keelan?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Look me in my eyes and tell me you’re not sleeping with her.”
Keelan prepared to face her and lie to her about what he’d been doing while they were apart. All he had to do was tell her that nothing had transpired between him and Teeka, and she would leave him alone. When he finally faced her, he saw a look of determination on her face, and suddenly he didn’t see a point in telling her anything other than the truth.
“I can’t,” he said. “Because I am sleeping with her.”
Alecia’s face fell, and her shoulders caved inward. It was like watching as her life completely shattered in front of her. Keelan felt like the worst person in the world hurting her like that. Still, she deserved to know the truth.
“I was . . .” She paused and took a breath to hold in her tears. “I was afraid that something like this might happen. I knew that it must have already happened when I laid in your bed and your pillows smelled exactly like that Carol’s Daughter you supposedly bought for me. I thought at first that I was tripping, but I remembered that’s the same product that Teeka said a really good friend bought for her. Seeing you at the office with her and the way you looked at her when she got on the elevator was all the confirmation I needed.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” Keelan said. He was prepared to hear her announce that it was officially over. “We’ve just been through so much. I didn’t know if we would really make it.”
“Okay,” Alecia said and took a deep breath. “Just one question before I do anything else. Was it just sex between the two of you, or are you in love with her?” She searched his face for an answer. When she found it, she stared at him in disbelief. “Oh my God. You love her.”
“I’m sorry, Alecia.”
“Did you even want me to move down here?”
“I wanted to try to make things work,” Keelan told her. “But it’s like, after all of this time, things are still the same.”
“And when were you going to tell me that? After my father signed the contract and you didn’t need me anymore?”
“Alecia . . .”
“Do you even love me anymore, Keelan?”
“Of course I love you.”
“But are you in love with me? Do you still want to be my husband?”
“I . . .” He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know, Alecia. I just need more time.”
“What about Teeka? Are you still going to be seeing her?”
Keelan reflected on his conversation with Teeka and Lynne. Teeka had gone on a date, which meant she was officially moving on with her life. Of course, when they were doing their thing, Teeka would always make it seem as if she were still on the market, but Keelan knew deep down that she wasn’t dealing with anyone else. She was the type of woman who liked to focus on one person and one person only. His jaw threatened to clench at the thought of someone else touching her, but it was a thought that he would have to let go of.
“Teeka and I are done,” he answered finally. “That’s not something you have to worry about.”
“Then we can push the wedding back and go from here. But I will let you know this, Keelan Metoy: I have invested my blood, sweat, and tears into this relationship with you. I dropped everything I had going for myself in Milwaukee to come here and be with you. Now, I will accept my fault in pushing you into another woman’s bed, but that will never happen again. I love you, Keelan, but we have more riding on this relationship’s success than just love.”
“Okay.” He kissed her on the cheek and then turned off the lamp on his nightstand.
Alecia’s words lingered in the air, or maybe they were just echoing in his mind. He felt relieved to have gotten a weight off his chest, but now he feared that he’d opened up a new can of worms. He didn’t believe Alecia would just let it go the way she was making it seem; however, the only thing he had control over was the moment that he was living in, and in that moment, the only thing he wanted to do was sleep.
Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop trying to force others to.
Chapter 9
Teeka
Wrrrt! Wrrrt! Wrrrt!
“Mmmm!” Teeka groaned with her face in a pillow.
Wrrrt! Wrrrt! Wrrrt!
She smacked her lips and threw the covers from over her head. She didn’t need to check the digital clock on her nigh
tstand because the sun wasn’t even out yet. It felt as though she’d only been sleeping a few hours, and the events from the night before were still fresh on her mind.
Wrrrt! Wrrrt! Wrrrt!
Her phone vibrated again next to her pillow, and she snatched it up. Checking the screen, she saw that it was Lynne calling her at four in the morning. Teeka tried to clear the sleepiness from her throat before she answered.
“Lynne?”
“Don’t Lynne me! I have been calling you for hours. Why aren’t you answering?”
“Umm, I don’t know. Maybe because it’s four in the morning.”
“That’s not the point!” Lynne’s voice sounded shrill and alert. “I haven’t slept a wink. You don’t get to send me messages like that and then not answer your phone.”
“You had Tony there to keep you company. You could have waiting until at least eight o’clock to blow my phone up instead of waking me up out of my sleep.”
“Girl, I made Tony’s ass hit the road when I got your text. Teeka, I don’t know what you’re thinking I said, or what Vic told you, but I never warned him that you were a big girl. Now, I might have told him you were probably a little thicker than the women he was used to, but I didn’t think that was a bad thing. Hell, you have more ass than a lot of chicks!”
The more Lynne rambled on, the sillier Teeka felt for even sending the message in the first place. She had just been stuck in a moment of anger, and she needed someone to take it out on. Lynne wasn’t the problem, and neither was Vic. She was her own problem. Teeka rolled over so that she was on her back and the phone was pressed to her ear. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room and focused on the lines on the ceiling.
“Lynne, my bad, girl. You know I’m just going through a lot. I thought I would have a good time going on a double date with you, but all Vic did was remind me of how much he wasn’t Keelan. I wasn’t ready to step out with anyone else, and I honestly don’t know when I will be.”
“No, it’s me who should be saying sorry, girl. Not just as your best friend, but as a woman. I should have known that you weren’t over that whole situation or even close to it. I could tell by the way you look at that man that love is still running through your veins.”
“I don’t know what to do, Lynne. Not only do I work with the man, but his fiancée comes into the office multiple times a week.”
“That son of a bitch. I still can’t believe he did this to you.”
“The sad thing is, I truly don’t feel that hurting me was his intention. I believe him when he says that he didn’t know where they were going in their relationship. What I do know is that he still chose her over me, and even if I don’t want to, I have to let him go. But I don’t know how.”
“You just have to take the situation for what it is and realize that you were never the problem. In all my time of dealing with the opposite sex, I have learned that men are just selfish. If they can have their cake and eat it too, they will. I just want you to know I’ll be one thousand percent by your side. But wait—do you think the girl knows about you? Maybe that’s why she keeps popping up at the office,” Lynne suggested.
“I don’t think that’s why she keeps popping up,” Teeka replied. “Her father is Steve’s latest business venture. They’re in the middle of a merger.”
“Do you think that’s why Keelan chose her over you?”
“That and the fact that they have years of history that I’m not even going to try and compete with.”
“Girl, I feel you. I wouldn’t either. You’re doing the right thing.”
Then why do I feel so empty? Teeka thought.
“I’ll let you know when I start feeling the same,” she said. “But, Lynne, I have two more hours of sleep. I’m going to talk to you on my lunch break or something.”
“All right. Love you, boo.”
“Love you too,” Teeka said and disconnected the call.
She tried to fall back to sleep, but there was no point. She was already wide awake. She lay in bed for a little bit longer before she decided the get a super early start on the day.
Teeka was showered and dressed and ready to leave by six thirty and decided that she might as well head out to work early. Before she left, she made sure to secure the diamond-studded hair pin neatly in the tight bun on the top of her head.
Before she got to work, she stopped to grab herself some breakfast and some coffee. When she finally arrived, she parked her car in the parking garage and made her way inside the large building.
“Good morning, Walter.” She greeted one of Etco’s security guards at the entrance as she walked through.
Walter was a married man in his late forties; however, that ring on his finger never stopped him from flirting with Teeka whenever the two crossed paths. He was handsome and muscular, with chestnut-colored skin, but still, he was nowhere near Teeka’s type. She always wondered why he didn’t just go bald since the hair at the top of his head was thinning.
The bright smile on his face told Teeka that that morning would be no different.
“Mm-mm-mmm! Your bed must be made out of clouds, because whenever I see you, it’s like you fell from the sky, girl! You’re looking good today, Miss Teeka. Is that a new coat?”
“No,” Teeka said and glanced down at her plum-colored hooded pea coat. “I just haven’t worn it in a while. Thank you, though, Walter. You’re always so sweet to me.”
“I would be even sweeter if you let me take you out to dinner sometime,” he said.
“I don’t think your wife would appreciate that too much.” She grinned at him.
“True that. They would probably find my ass in somebody’s ocean with a weight tied to my ankles!” They shared a laugh. “But for real, girl, you got it going on. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I have always been a sucker for a woman with some meat on her bones. I’m sure you hear every day what kind of fox you are. Let me stop making a fool of myself. I just wanted you to know how beautiful you are, queen.”
She couldn’t will away the smile on her face if she wanted to. She said good-bye to Walter and continued her walk to the elevators that would take her upstairs to her desk. Walter would never know it, but he had set the mood for her whole day. He had been a little thirsty, but his thirstiness had made her feel good about herself. By the time she got to her desk, her smile had reached from one ear to the next.
She checked her messages and responded to a few e-mails before diving into her muffin and coffee. It was still early, and most of the executives didn’t get into the office until about eight thirty. She figured that gave her enough time to get ahead of her workload and get herself together before the day really took off. She checked to see who was online, and she saw a green dot next to Keelan’s name. She swallowed the big chunk of muffin in her mouth and hurried to set her e-mail to offline.
“There,” she said, hoping that he hadn’t seen the green dot by her name.
Teeka figured the only way to get over Keelan was to take him in small doses—and only in a professional environment. She refused to cry over him ever again.
If you don’t follow your heart, then you’ll spend the rest of your life wishing you had.
Chapter 10
Keelan
“You, my friend, might just be the stupidest son of a bitch I’ve ever met.”
Keelan groaned. He should have known telling his friend Chauncey what was going on with his life was a mistake. He had been keeping things under wraps pretty well, but with it all unfolding right in front of his face, he had to let it out.
Chauncey Adams worked for ETCO as well, in the accounting department, and he was Keelan’s first friend in the city. He was about six feet tall, well dressed, and had good luck with the ladies since apparently chocolate brothas were in style. He sat in Keelan’s office, casually brushing the low-cut, deep-sea waves in his thick black hair. He was staring at Keelan in disbelief and shaking his head.
“And I can’t believe you hit Teeka’s ass before me!”
“Hey, chill out, man,” Keelan warned.
“I’m just saying.” Chauncey held his arms up and shrugged. “Up until just now, I thought I still had a chance with her. You sure have a way of shattering a man’s dreams. I would have never known the two of you were involved.”
“We kept things on the hush. We wanted our privacy.”
“‘We, or you?” Chauncey raised his eyebrow. “You had wifey in Milwaukee, and you were diving in Teeka’s pussy at the same time. You are living quite the life, Mr. Metoy.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything to you.” Keelan put a hand over his face and shook his head. “You aren’t helping at all.”
“My bad.” Chauncey laughed. “I’m just giving you a hard time. What I’m trying to understand, though, is if all is forgiven with wifey, why are you still worrying yourself with it?”
Keelan leaned his head back into his computer chair and sighed. He didn’t know how to tell his boy that he still wore Acqua Di Gio cologne every day just in case he ran into Teeka. Or that he missed the way she felt beneath him, trying to squirm away because he was in too deep. And that when Alecia called out his name when he was pounding it from the back that morning, he had wished it was Teeka’s voice.
“I want her, man,” Keelan told him. “I want Teeka, but—”
“But Alecia is the daughter of the man signing a million-dollar contract with ETCO at the end of the week.”
“Bingo.”
“Damn, I would hate to have your problems. How did you get into some shit like this?”
“I don’t know, but like you said, I guess it’s over. Alecia pushed the wedding back, so that gives us time to move past this situation.”
“If you can.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Come on.” Chauncey gave Keelan a look of doubt. “Do you think I’m that stupid? It’s obvious to see that you, my friend, are in love. And not with the one you’re marrying. If nobody else has said it, I will. A million dollars is a lot of money, but not enough to sell your life for. Are you sure that you want to walk down the aisle knowing that you want somebody else? Man! That’s a big-ass red flag!”