Nelly pulled back from me, but kept hold of my right arm. Running her fingers over my wrist, she gasped. “I can’t believe this.”
I started to agree with her, until I looked down and saw what she was talking about. I shot up to my feet, causing her to topple off me as I did so.
“W-What the hell is that?” I squeaked, working hard to keep my voice down.
Jackson crawled over from where he was sitting and grabbed my arm. Running his fingers over my wrist, he repeated Nelly, “I can’t believe it.”
I darted my eyes between him and Nelly, trying to figure out what the hell they were talking about. “How many did you kill?” asked Jack.
It took me a second to grasp what he was talking about. I was still staring at my arm. “I don’t know. Three… or four.” I counted them off in my head. “Three… what the hell does that have to do with my arm?” Wrapped around my wrist was a floral design, similar to a tattoo. Except it was a brilliant silver color, and it was perfectly smooth. The silver vines crawled up and around my forearm and then disappeared under the sleeve of my shirt. Three small lilies had sprouted from the vine; one on top of my wrist and the others climbing up my forearm. Pushing up my sleeve revealed a small sun at the top of the design, near my shoulder. It was beautiful. And it freaked me out.
Taking a deep breath, so I wouldn’t start shouting, I said, “Okay, what is going on?”
Jackson cleared his throat. He still had that awed expression on his face. “It’s the Sol Liliums… the symbol of the Proeliator.”
As if sensing my confusion and growing anger, Nelly answered my next question. “It… well, it means sun lilies… and Warrior in Latin.”
I tried to add it all up. Three lilies for three dead… What had my mother called them? Lamias. One lily for each Lamia I’d killed.
I’d killed.
This thought seemed to smack me in the face. I had just killed three… whatever they were, but the point remained the same. I’d killed.
And I hadn’t even really thought about it until now.
“It matches the symbol on your Gladius,” Nelly said, saving me from falling into what could only be more horrific thoughts.
“My what?”
She reached over and picked up my sword. The blade must have retracted at some point, because now, it looked like just a pretty, silver handle again.
“This. It’s a Gladius. They were the weapon of the ancient Proeliators,” Nelly continued.
I skimmed through the small amount of Latin I knew. “Gladius. Doesn’t that mean… like… butt in Latin?”
She chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “No, that’s gluteus.
Gladius in Latin means sword.”
“Where did you get that?” asked Jackson.
I started to tell him and then stopped when another thought came to mind. “That’s not important,” I said bitterly. He looked confused at my sudden change in tone. “What is important is what you’re doing here. You seemed to pop up at a very convenient time, Jack. Tell me what you’re doing here.”
He just looked at me. I gripped my sword—I was not going to call it a Gladius—and, like before, the blade shot out from it. I got to my feet and faced him down. “Don’t make me ask again, Jackson. What are you doing here? How did you even find us? You don’t seem to be very shaken up after what just happened.”
Some part of me suspected I was overreacting, but my mother’s words came back to me: Everyone has an ulterior motive. Maybe I could trust him, but maybe I couldn’t. And, at the moment, I wasn’t really willing to take that risk.
“Whoa, whoa, calm down, Lex.” Nelly had stepped in between Jackson and me and was holding her hands up in a back off gesture. This fueled my rapidly growing anger.
But, looking into her eyes, I felt a wave of calm wash over me, and suddenly backing off sounded reasonable. I shook my head and managed to pull my gaze away with considerable effort. “No, don’t do that!”
“Don’t do wh—?”
“I don’t know what! Whatever it is that you’re doing. We have to know we can trust him! How do we know that we can trust him?” I sounded like I was pleading.
Nelly spun around to face Jackson. I couldn’t see her face, but whatever look she gave him made his eyes go wide, and then his face just went… blank.
Nelly blew out a slow breath, as if steeling herself for something. “Jackson,” her voice was calm and comforting, like she was talking to an infant. “Give me your hands, Jack.”
Jackson immediately obeyed, reaching up slowly so that his hands rested in Nelly’s. I stood, gaping. Could this night get any stranger?
Apparently, it could.
They stood there like that for several seconds, and then Jackson fell down to his knees, breathing heavily. Nelly released him and swung back around to face me.
Sweat had broken out on her face and she was breathing nearly as hard as Jackson. “He’s fine. We can trust him,” she gasped.
“But—”
“I said he’s fine.” The look she gave me was hard and unyielding. I involuntarily took a step back. I had never seen a look like that from Nelly. Sweet, calm, caring Nelly—and it scared me more than I wanted to admit.
I was about to protest when, once again, my mother’s words flooded into my head. Trust Nelly.
Finally, I slumped back against the dirt wall and rubbed my hands over my face. “Fine,” I said. “We need to rest now. I have a feeling we have a long day ahead of us, but… in the morning… in the morning, you are going to explain things to me.”
She gave me a considering look that I met with a hard expression of my own. As if making some sort of decision, she nodded and settled back down on the ground. I glanced over at Jackson, who had a look on his face like he’d just seen a ghost.
He opened his mouth to speak, and it seemed like it took considerable effort on his part. “You’re—” he started, looking at Nelly.
She shot him a pointed look. “Not now.” Her tone was unyielding. “We need to rest now.” Jackson shut up, but he still looked awed.
Leaning back against the wall, I realized how tired I really was. But my mind was too overloaded with questions, and I doubted I’d get any sleep tonight.
“You guys sleep. I’ll keep watch.”
They gave me no argument, and within minutes, I heard their breathing grow deep and steady. I picked up my sword and moved over near the cave’s entrance. For the first time in my life, I wished my mother were with me.
Chapter Twelve
Despite my efforts to stay alert, I fell into a half-asleep, half-awake state. I’m not sure how long I sat there like that. It felt like hours, jumping alternately between nightmare and awareness.
In my semi-conscious dreams, I stood in the middle of what could only be described as ruin. I stood straight-backed over what seemed like hundreds of gray lumps in a gray world. I tilted my head and focused my dry eyes until the lumps took human shape. As they formed, so did a lump in my throat.
At first I thought some of the people must be strangers, adlibs of my subconscious. But as I looked closer, the sprawled bodies morphed into people I knew: Nelly, my mother, Jackson, and random people I’ve encountered over the course of my life. Riley was there too.
Instinctively, my eyes settled on Nelly. She laid flat on her back, sightless eyes staring heavenward, golden brown hair fanned out around her like expired rays of sun. Then I was falling, crashing soundlessly down to my dream-knees. The pain I felt was so emotional that it became physical. My head snapped forward, rocked by such grief that my brain couldn’t even send the signal for tears to my eye ducts. I stared down at suspiciously blood-soaked clothes.
I woke up in a cold sweat that night so many times that it shouldn’t have been humanly possible. Or divinely allowed. Eventually, I entertained ghastly thoughts too disturbing to allow sleep.
I was a killer. I’d killed three people—well, not people—but that didn’t take away from the fact that I had killed with
hardly any hesitation. I’d also left my mother to die. I ran away when she needed me. I ran like a coward. I wasn’t sure if I could ever forgive myself for that.
Some rational part of me knew that I had done what I had to. What my mother wanted me to do. But that part was easily wiped away with all of the other morbid thoughts filling my head. The whole world seemed to be sitting on my shoulders, pointing fingers and blaming me for not doing something more. Something… anything… I should have done something more.
I had never felt so lost and alone in my life. Glancing over at Nelly still sleeping peacefully, the unspeakable dream-grief enveloped me like a parka in August. I would die before I let anything happen to her. Without Nelly, I had no one. I’ve revisited my dream many times since. It still haunts me.
I reached down beside me and picked up the sword my Mother had given me. The last gift she would ever give me, I thought. Running my fingers over the carved design, I lifted my right arm to examine my strange new tattoo. Nelly was right; the designs were identical. Twisting my wrist, the silver in my arm caught a bit of light and twinkled. I glanced to my left to see sunlight peeking in through the small spaces between the logs piled at the opening of the cave.
Pulling myself off the ground, I was surprised when I felt a little light-headed. Maybe I should have tried to get some sleep, but it was too late for that now. We needed to go, though I was unsure where we would be going. I started to move the logs and then stopped when a thought struck me. What if those things were still out there? What if they were waiting to ambush us as soon as well left our hiding spot? My mother said that they couldn’t stand the sunlight, but what if she had been wrong?
No, I thought. I had never trusted her before when she’d told me that everything she did was for my own good. I would trust her now, even if it was too little too late.
My companions started to wake as I moved the logs.
“What time is it?” Nelly asked, rubbing her eyes.
“Not sure,” I said, rolling the last log out of the way. “But the sun is up.”
Jackson sat up, but didn’t look at me. I figured that he was probably mad at me for freaking out on him last night. I didn’t want to deal with it right now. I had way too much on my plate as it was.
He stood up and stretched his arms out over his head. Finally, he looked at me and gave a small smile. I smiled back, thankful that he apparently wasn’t holding any grudges.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said, walking over and placing a small kiss on my forehead.
I considered what I must look like. I had on yesterday’s clothes, jeans and a black t-shirt, ripped and covered in mud and what I assumed was blood. I had lost my ponytail holder at some point last night, and my hair hung over my shoulders in a tangled mess. Leave it to Jack to call me beautiful.
“Not really, but thanks.”
He considered this for a moment, his bright green eyes going thoughtful. “No, it’s not really a good morning, but you are definitely still beautiful.”
I felt ashamed that he could be so nice to me after the way I’d treated him. I couldn’t seem to do anything right lately. “Jack, I’m sorry—”
He held up his hand. “Don’t be. There’s no need. You did what you—”
“—what I had to do. I know, and I think I’m getting tired of hearing that.”
He nodded and pulled me into a hug. I rested my head on his flannel shirt. I hadn’t realized how much I’d been needing some sort of comfort.
“Well, I’m happy to see you guys have kissed and made up, but we need to figure out what we’re going to do.” Nelly seemed a little embarrassed to have interrupted us.
As I considered our options, the sudden realization of what we had to do sent a shiver down my spine.
“We have… We have to go back to the house.” Nelly opened her mouth to respond, but I held up my hand, cutting her off. “We need to go and gather some things. I know we can’t stay there, but we need to get whatever we can. Pack some clothes and get the keys to mMom’s…” It was hard for me to speak of her out loud, but I had to explain my decision. “To Mom’s car,” I continued. “We also have to check… We just have to make sure.”
“Alexa,” Nelly’s voice was as soft as flower petals. “She’s… She’s not there. If she were, she would’ve come to us by now. She’s… gone.” A tear escaped her eye as she said this, and again I hated myself for not being able to cry.
“I know,” I said, my voice small. “But we have to make sure.”
Chapter Thirteen
Nelly had been right; our mother wasn’t at the house. Nor were the creatures. In fact, nothing was there except ghastly images that would be preserved behind my eyes like pieces of precious manuscript. Images of a home I’d never really felt part of. Images of a life I’d for so long despised, only to learn that I should have been counting blessings. All I found that day was the horror of hindsight.
Ruined furniture and wet-black stains—the creatures’ blood— marred the floor and many belongings. It was one of the most difficult, gut-wrenching things I’ve ever had to do. Going back there now made leaving it behind inescapable, and as much as that would have been a pleasing prospect in the past, now it was just bitterly sardonic.
I had gone back because I had to. I had to make sure she wasn’t there. I had to see for myself. And not finding anything was almost worse than finding the worst. Not finding anything left me with a twinkle of hope that she’d somehow survived. Sometimes hope can destroy you.
We had taken the keys to my mother’s SUV and we were now heading for Ohio. When I had called the number on the letter she had left me, what sounded like an older lady had answered. After very little explanation on my part, she’d given me an address and then just hung up. Jackson was still with us, despite my protests for the opposite.
“You might need me,” he had argued. “What if this turns out to be some kind of trap?”
I shot him a look in the rearview mirror, not in the best mood right then. “I seriously doubt my mother would send us to someone she didn’t trust. Besides aren’t your parents going to be looking for you?”
“Nah, I called them and told them that I was going to Vegas to elope with the love of my life.”
I rolled my eyes. Jackson chuckled. “I was just kidding, relax. I told them I was going to stay with my Aunt Marcia for a little while.” He shrugged. “They don’t really care what I do.”
We settled into silence after that. I still needed answers, but Nelly insisted that the woman we were going to meet would be able to explain things better than she could. That didn’t stop me from trying.
We had been on the road for three hours when I finally cracked. “Okay, so all this time, there really has been someone after us?” Nelly, next to me in the passenger seat, sighed and gave a slight nod. “And… and you and Mom knew about this, but decided not to tell me?” She nodded again.
“Well, that’s just wonderful,” I snapped.
“Look,” Nelly said, “I know you’re pissed off and really you have every right to be.” I snorted at this, and she pressed on. “But we didn’t tell you because we were hoping we’d never have to.”
“Well—” I stopped speaking when I got a good look at Nelly. Her skin was pale and her bangs were plastered to her forehead with sweat. Her eyelids hung at half-mast, and what I could see of her eyes showed that they were bloodshot. I swerved off the road and threw the car into park.
“What are you doing?” Nelly shouted. “We have to stay on the road or we won’t make it before sundown!”
“You’re sick,” I shot back. “We need to get you to a doctor.” “I’m fine.” She replied, folding her arms over her chest.
“You are not fine. Here, let me look at you.” I reached out to touch her forehead and she jerked back out of my reach. I took a deep breath to control my frustration and my nails bit into my fists. “This is no time to play tough, Nell. Let me—” “Blood,” she spat.
I sat back in my
seat, confused for what seemed like the hundredth time on this trip. “What?”
“Blood,” she repeated, looking ashamed. “I need blood.”
I narrowed my eyes at her; no way was she suggesting what I thought she was. “What do you mean you need blood? ”
Jackson popped his head up from the backseat. “I knew it. That’s why you were able to Search me back in the cave.”
“Shut up, wolf-boy. No one was talking to you.” I had never seen Nelly so defensive. Once again, it scared me.
Then I processed what she was saying. “Wait, wolf-boy?” I took another deep breath. “Alright, explain, Nelly. Now.”
She blew out a heavy breath and pushed her hair out of her face. “Fine, I need to drink blood to survive and he’s—” She jerked her head toward Jackson. “A werewolf.”
“Better than being a blood-sucker,” Jackson mumbled.
This was just too much. “What, did I just step into the Twilight Zone?” That was funny on more than one level, but no one laughed. I pushed on.
“Nelly, do not tell me you are one of those… things.”
She gave me a hurt look that turned instantly into one of anger. “It’s not like I chose to be this way! I can’t help it. Besides, I’m only half.”
“Half what?”
Nelly threw up exasperated hands. “Alexa. I. Drink. Blood.”
“Nell, what the f—?” I stopped mid-curse as a thought came to mind. I was almost afraid to ask my next question. “Does that mean that I’m—?”
“No. You’re… Well, you’re something different.”
I considered this a moment. “Does that mean we’re not—?”
Nelly reached over and grabbed me by the shoulder, nails digging into my skin. She had a panicked look on her face. Hell, I probably had a panicked look on mine. “No! How could you even ask that? Don’t ever think that! You’re all I have left.” She was pleading now.
I didn’t want to hurt her. Ever. And she was obviously hurting now, so like always, I pushed aside my questions so I could comfort her.
Dangerous Lovers Page 5