I broke the embrace first. I didn’t need a man to make me happy, never had. And I wasn’t about to start now. I needed to be able to think clearly, to figure out what was making me feel like I was missing something here, and I couldn’t seem to do anything but be happy when he was around. So, what I did next was much harder than it should have been. Maybe one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, aside from leaving my mother that night.
“Thank you,” I said. “For everything.”
“You’re wel—”
“But I need you to stay away from me. I want you to stay away from me…” I swallowed hard so that my voice wouldn’t crack. “I’m safe now, so… your services are no longer required.”
Even though his face had returned to that unreadable expression, the look in his eyes when I said this was almost enough to make me eat up my words and beg him to stay. Almost. But an instant later, it was gone, replaced by what could only be immense hurt and maybe a little anger. I couldn’t blame him. I felt like a total bitch.
He gave a slight nod and said, “As you wish, Warrior.”
Then he turned and walked away. I felt like a piece of my soul walked away right along with him.
I ran up to my room and threw myself across the bed. I was not going to cry. I was absolutely not going to cry. I refused to. I knew that what I had done was for the best. That I had done the only thing I could do, the right thing.
But sometimes, the right thing can feel so very, very wrong.
Chapter Thirty-Two
A knock at my door awoke me early the next morning. Pulling myself out of the bed, I stumbled over to the door and threw it open. A very pissed off Nelly stood outside it. I wondered why for just a moment, then it hit me. I had forgotten that I was supposed to meet up with her last night. Whoops.
“Hey, Nell,” I said, weakly.
The anger on her face kicked up a notch. “Don’t hey, Nell me, Alexa. Do you know how worried I’ve been? I didn’t sleep all night. Neither did Jack or Daniel. We were all up waiting for you to come back.”
I rubbed my face. I knew she had a right to be mad at me, but I didn’t feel like dealing with it this morning. Not after everything that had happened last night. My next words came out much harsher than I intended.
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry, but I kind of had a lot going on. My world doesn’t revolve around you, you know.”
Her expression switched to one of hurt and my stomach clenched. Again with the anger. I should be ashamed. Nelly wasn’t acting any different than I would if the situation was flipped. Hell, I’d probably be a whole lot meaner than she was being. I took a deep breath and tried again.
“I’m sorry, Nell. Really. I had a lot of stuff going on. I guess I kind of just… forgot,” I said.
She brushed past me and sat down on the bed. She sighed and pushed the hair out of her face. “What’s going on, Lex? I feel like you’ve been really guarded lately. You used to tell me everything, and now I have no idea what’s going on in that head of yours.”
I sat down beside her and rested my head on her shoulder. She ran a hand through my hair and whispered, “I’m worried about you. Tell me what’s going on.”
I did. I told her everything. My feelings for Kayden, my conversation with the man in the blue suit. I ended by telling her what I had said to Kayden last night. It took a while, but like always, she just sat quietly and waited for me to finish.
“Why did you do that?” she asked when I was finished.
It took me a minute to realize she was talking about Kayden. I sighed. “I don’t know. Because I can’t seem to control myself around him. I can’t do anything but tell him everything that’s on my mind. That’s dangerous right now. I don’t know who I can trust. His presence makes me feel…”
“Happy?” she finished for me.
“Yes, but it’s not only that. It makes me feel vulnerable. I can’t trust myself around him. He makes me feel strong and weak at the same time. I don’t like feeling that way and not being able to stop it.”
She was silent for a long time, then she hugged me. I took comfort in her embrace. If nothing else, I would always have Nelly. I could always trust her to be there for me.
We broke apart and she smiled at me with that wonderful smile of hers. I smiled back because I couldn’t help it. Nelly had that way about her that made her moods contagious.
“Go shower and get dressed,” she said.
I glanced at the clock. It was seven a.m. “Why?” I asked. I was planning on just going back to bed. I was still so tired after last night.
She shook her head and smiled again. “Because you’ve got class starting in an hour. Remember?”
Oh wonderful. I had forgotten that I was scheduled to start school this morning. The ceremony last night made me official, and now I had to head to class with the other fighters. I hoped I was ready. Better yet, considering my mood, I hoped they were ready.
I showered and headed out toward the building designated for the Brocken students. Nelly and I split ways when we had to head in different directions. All of the schools were relatively close together, and I hoped that we would at least get to have lunch together.
“Good luck,” she said, giving me another hug.
“Thanks.”
I was almost to the building when a Warrior I didn’t know stopped me. He wore the all-black uniform and was handsome—in a way-too-old-for-me kind of way.
“Miss Montgomery?” he asked, stopping in front of me.
“Yes,” I said slowly.
He nodded. “The queen has requested an audience with you. I’ll escort you, if you would follow me.”
My shoulders sagged. I just wanted to go to class, slip into some sort of routine. I didn’t want to deal with any more politics right now, but really, I didn’t have much choice.
“Okay,” I said.
He seemed a little amused at my reluctance to see the queen. I decided I might like this guy.
We talked along the way as we walked, and I was grateful for this. I was sick of the older Warriors just acting like robots. I wanted some normal interaction with people. I also just wanted to take my mind off Kayden.
“What’s your name?” I asked when we reached the Council building.
He hesitated, then said, “Marcus, but I go by Mark.”
I held out my hand. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Mark. I’m Alexa.”
He smiled a full smile and shook my hand. Then Mark led me into the building and took me to the Queen’s personal office. It looked more like a sitting room—where one might have tea—than an office. Everything was decorated in silver and black, and white roses and other exotic plants I couldn’t identify lined the walls. One side of the office was a large window, stretching from floor to ceiling, overlooking a beautiful garden. There was a large oak desk near the far wall, and a daybed placed tastefully off to the side. I looked to my right to see the queen sitting in a very expensive-looking chair that was facing a very expensive-looking couch. I walked over and bowed before sitting down on the couch.
She raised her eyebrows. Was I supposed to ask to be seated? Whatever.
She was wearing a black pant-suit with a silver silk blouse underneath, and she was sipping a cup of tea. Her blue eyes studied me over her cup and I shifted a little in my seat. I was wearing black stretch pants and a black tank top. I would have dressed nicer, but I thought I was just heading to school where I would have to train. Whatever.
“It’s nice to see you, Your Majesty,” I said.
She smiled, and it made her looks a little less sharp. “It’s nice to see you as well, young Warrior.
I struggled not to roll my eyes. I really wished people would stop calling me that. I had a name, and I kind of liked it.
When she just sat there, I cleared my throat. “Um… you wanted to see me?”
She nodded. “I wanted to thank you personally,” she said.
I furrowed my brow in confusion. “Well, you’re welcome, but what for?�
��
She laughed, a short, high-pitched sound that grated my nerves. Shaking her head, she said, “I suppose you save the lives of monarchs every day, young Warrior?”
Oh, that. I had forgotten about pulling her away from the podium before it exploded. In my defense, I had had a lot on my mind.
“Actually, you were my first,” I said, almost grinning. “But you’re welcome.”
She nodded and again grew silent, but this time, a look of regret and sadness came over her features. I waited for a moment and then decided that she wasn’t going to speak unless I asked her to. I worked to keep the frustration off my face.
“Is there something else, Your Majesty?”
She met my eyes and nodded solemnly. “Yes, there is, and please, call me Camillia.”
Well, then, call me Alexa. “Okay,” I said instead.
“I deeply regret being the one who has to tell you this, but I think you have a right to know,” she continued.
“Okay,” I repeated, trying not to show my irritation at her reluctance to tell me.
She reached over to the small table beside her chair and picked up something shiny. My heart dropped when I realized what it was. My face must have given me away, because she nodded again, that sad expression still on her face.
She handed me a necklace. My mother’s necklace. It was silver and delicate, with a small silver sun hanging from the chain. It was the only piece of jewelry that she had ever worn. I closed my fist around it.
My tongue felt thick in my throat and my heart felt like it had just been ripped from my chest. “What are you trying to tell me?” I said, and not very nicely.
She sighed before answering, and for whatever reason, it made me want to jump out of my seat and punch her in the face. I didn’t. It wasn’t her fault. She was just the messenger. Plus, that would be just stupid.
“We sent someone to your house to do cleanup after you arrived here. It is routine for us to do so, as we don’t want to risk exposure to the humans. I asked them to search the surrounding area, in hopes that we could locate your mother for you.” She paused then, and I realized that I was breathing heavily.
“And we did find her,” she continued, not meeting my eyes. “She had been drained dry. I’m so very sorry, Alexa.”
I had known that the chances of my mother having survived were very slim, but I guess I had just been holding on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, she had. Having this woman tell me that she was dead was just too much for me. I was pretty sure I was going to cry, and I refused to do it in front of her. I stood up abruptly.
I turned to leave, and she called out to me. “If you wish to skip classes today, I will inform your instructors. Take some time for yourself.”
I stopped and opened the door. “That won’t be necessary,” I said.
I stepped out and closed the door behind me.
Mark was standing in the foyer as I came walking past. He didn’t move from his post on the wall, but he did speak to me.
“How did it go, Alexa?”
I just shook my head and kept walking. I didn’t mean to be rude, but I was afraid that if I stopped, I might start crying. I burst through the front doors and took a deep breath, fastening my mother’s necklace around my neck. Then I took off in a sprint toward the direction of my school.
Chapter Thirty-Three
I ran as fast as I could to school; it was the only thing that kept the tears at bay. When I reached it, I headed to the room number that was first on my schedule. I opened the door and stepped inside. It was more of a gym than a classroom. Other students were facing off in hand-to-hand combat, but when I entered, they all stopped and stared at me.
A man, whom I assumed was the instructor, spoke first, “How nice of you to join us, Warrior.”
I just looked at him. I couldn’t think of anything to say that didn’t involve a curse word, so I didn’t say anything at all.
“I hope you’re as good as they say,” he continued, “because the person who’s late gets to pair up with me.”
My heart jumped in excitement. This, I could handle. I’d never wanted to fight someone so bad in my life, and if he wanted to volunteer, then that was his mistake.
“I can’t wait,” I replied, and the class erupted into laughter. The teacher’s face went red.
We fought, and we both got our asses kicked. The rest of the students in the class just watched as we beat the crap out of each other. He was good, really good, and on any other day, I’m pretty sure I would have gotten taken down almost immediately. But, I was so full of anger and rage that my body seemed to act on its own accord. I was seeing red, and if the bell hadn’t rung, I doubt I would’ve stopped attacking until I passed out.
At the end, I was bloody and bruised and dripping with sweat. He was in the same condition. He dismissed the class and we all started to file out.
“Warrior,” he said as I was exiting. I was the last person to leave, seeing as how I was still trying to catch my breath. I turned to face him. He nodded his head and smiled a bloody smile. “Not bad.”
I managed to smile back, wiping some blood from my lip. “Yeah, right back at ya.”
He laughed and waved his hand for me to go. I left the room to find almost all of the students from my class waiting for me.
They all wanted to tell me how awesome I was in class. For once, I welcomed the attention. It was a pleasant distraction from everything else that was going on in my life. I realized how nice it was to be treated kindly by my peers, after being treated like a freak my entire life. But, these vampires didn’t see me as a freak. They thought I was cool. It was all pretty… cool. I realized I was smiling.
Finally, we all left to go to our next classes. I exited the building. As I reached into my backpack to retrieve my schedule, a smell wafted over to me that had me whipping my head around to find its source.
A guy was leaning against the wall, a lit cigarette dangling from his hand. His build suggested that he was a Brocken Vampire, and his clothes suggested money. He was kind of handsome, I decided, in a way that seemed effortless. My eyes darted to his cigarette. A sly smile came over his face as eyes as blue as day came up to meet mine. He reached into his pocket, eyes never leaving mine, and produced a pack of Newports. He held them out in offering.
I took one. “Thanks.”
“My pleasure,” he replied. He tossed me a lighter. I lit the cigarette, tossed it back, and turned to leave.
“You’re amazing,” he said.
I turned back to face him. I wasn’t really in the mood for small talk, but there was something about him that made me want to pay attention. “Thanks.”
He gave a small bow, sly smile still on his lips. “You’re Alexa, right?” I nodded. “I’m Tommy. I’ve never seen anyone hand it to Patterson like that. I think he was kind of surprised, too.”
I swept my arm down along my body. “I think I got it handed right back to me.”
He laughed at that. He had a cute laugh. “You didn’t get knocked out. That’s amazing in itself. That guy’s a beast.”
“Yeah, I noticed that.”
“What’s your next class?” he asked.
I glanced down at my schedule and groaned. “World History. Why do I have to take that? I thought that we just trained to fight. Why would I need to know the history of our world?”
He laughed again. “That’s my next class, too. They tell us we have to take all the normal subjects that other schools offer. Knowledge is power, you know.”
“Wonderful. Is there somewhere I can shower before I go there? I don’t want to walk in on my first day looking like this.”
His blue eyes studied me for just a moment too long. I half expected him to give some line about how I still looked good. He didn’t. “Sure, I’ll show you. Take your time. I’ll tell the teacher you had to fight Patterson. She’ll understand.”
I smiled at him. I think I liked this kid. “Thanks.”
He smiled back. “You are so very welc
ome.”
I showered and then headed to History. My teacher nodded to me and gave me a sympathetic look as she took in my injuries. The class was actually pretty interesting. I had never liked history, but this wasn’t the history I was accustomed to. This was vampire history, and I found myself absorbed. We even discussed Warriors, and I enjoyed learning about the people I had come from.
Tommy sat in the rear of the class. I couldn’t help but turn my head a few times to look at him. Each time I did, he was looking right back, a half-smile playing on his lips. I gradually felt my mood grow lighter. I still wasn’t happy, but I was as close to it as I could get, considering the circumstances.
Lunchtime came, and I nearly tripped over my own feet trying to get to the cafeteria. The schools all had lunch at the same time and in the same building, so I would get to see Jack and Nelly. I missed them more than I had realized.
Tommy walked with me as we headed toward the building that housed the cafeteria. When we got close, I took my mother’s necklace off and slipped it into my backpack. Tommy gave me a questioning look, but I just shrugged. I didn’t want Nelly to see it. I was planning to tell her what the queen said, but right now, around all of our friends, was not the time to do it.
Our friends, I actually had friends. That realization shocked me almost just as much as everything else that had been happening lately. I hoped it would last. I needed something to be happy about.
I came to a stop as we entered the cafeteria, taking it all in. The place was enormous. Students sat at tables and lined the areas where the food was served. My stomach growled as I took in how much food there was. They had every kind of cuisine you could imagine, from Chinese to Italian. I hadn’t eaten since before the ceremony last night, and I was starving. First, though, I wanted to find Nelly, but it seemed impossible in this crowd.
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