The world showed no yield to my peculiar manner, however. Seconds later, the announcer’s voice echoed in my ears. BEGIN!
The two started forward. I released Nelly’s hand for fear that she may need a cast later if I didn’t. I clutched my thighs instead, damp palms ironing the denim beneath them. Below me, Kayden’s sword sang its first note of a blocked strike. I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them.
Of the rest of the fight, I can only recall in bits and pieces. Perhaps that’s all my mind could fathom. I remember the clangs of metal on metal, and the crowd’s reciprocating shouts following nanoseconds after. I can still see Kayden’s blade gliding through the air, with such grace it seemed divine. I remember thinking absently of Gavin and feeling like an asshole for the cruel nickname I’d given him. I couldn’t help but think of myself, as well, of how one day my own body would be riddled with such scars. Mostly, though, I remember the blood.
It flew in scarlet ribbons and sprays, painting everything within its reach. The shining blades the men wielded were now dripping and streaming red rivers. I noticed with equal relief and despair that Kayden’s sword was redder than Mark’s. Had I been able to move, I would have been peering through my fingers, my hands shielding my face. Though I wanted this to be over, no outcome appeared pleasing.
My wish was granted. Kayden delivered one final blow that sent Mark crashing to the ground. Kayden’s blade rose high, high over Mark’s neck. It came halfway down with the speed and threat of an oncoming train. Then it stopped. I sat bewildered for a moment before I realized that Kayden was waiting for Mark to surrender. The way his chest heaved told me this was more than a struggle. Kayden was fighting for his own self-control. I could almost sympathize from my helpless position.
The tiny moment lasted for an eternity. Kayden’s sword rose once more. The crowd boomed in response. My gut clenched. I pressed my eyelids together. I couldn’t watch.
The crowd’s cheers and screams switched to boos and disapproving shouts. My eyes flew open just in time for me to see Mark’s pointer and middle finger raised in surrender. Kayden’s blade fell soundlessly to the dirt. It took a moment, but I could breathe again.
The crowd’s disappointment roared around the Arena. Anger stewed wet and hot in my stomach. What was wrong with these people? How could they think that something so brutal was entertainment? How could they yell out in disapproval when a good man had fallen, lying bloodied and broken on the ground? If these vampires and Wolves believed themselves better than humans, then they had another thing coming. They were just as bad, maybe even worse.
When two attendants emerged from the sidelines to carry Mark out of the Arena, my anger flooded away, replaced with a sobering dose of fear. Mark hadn’t gotten back up. He might never get back up again.
I shot to my feet, causing my companions to jump in surprise. I think I heard Nelly call out to me as I pushed past the Warrior standing at the door of our room. I raced down the steps of the Arena. All I could think about was making sure that Mark was okay.
When I made out of the building, the line of people that had been there before was gone. The two Warriors who had greeted me upon entering were still at their posts. I raced up to them.
“Where are they taking him?” I asked them, between hitching breaths.
The two Warriors exchanged glances. “Who?” they asked almost simultaneously.
I pushed my hair out of my face and released a frustrated breath. “The Warrior who just lost in the Arena.”
The two men exchanged another look, and I had to resist the urge to slam them both against the wall and shake the information out of them. After a moment, one of them said, “Probably the infirmary, if he wasn’t hurt too bad.”
I clenched my fists tight so that I wouldn’t do something stupid. “Where would they take him if he was hurt bad?” I asked, between clenched teeth.
The same Warrior answered. “The hospital.” He paused before adding, “If he’s not there, then he didn’t survive.”
I was about to ask where the hospital was when I heard the wail of an ambulance. I sprinted toward the sound just in time to see it turn a corner. I summoned up every bit of energy and speed I had and barreled after it. I moved faster than I had ever moved before and used my ears to keep track of the ambulance. I lost sight of it but followed the sound as best I could. After about twenty blocks, I reached the front of what I assumed was the hospital. Ignoring the dizzy spell that had caught up with me after my run, I climbed the steps and entered the lobby. I only hoped that Mark was already here and being cared for.
The nurse at the front desk looked alarmed when I approached her, but she gave me the information I needed. After a few clicks on her computer, she confirmed that Mark was here, but that I couldn’t see him just yet because he was in surgery. She asked me to have a seat and told me she would tell me when I could go in.
I didn’t sit down. I paced back and forth in the lobby for the longest thirty minutes of my life, with spots dancing before my eyes the entire time. Finally, she gave me a room number, and I took off in the direction she pointed.
Mark was lying on a bed when I entered the room. He was unconscious, wrapped in an insane amount of bandages. I approached the bed slowly and felt tears trickle down my face. He looked so horrible, and I couldn’t see how anyone would recover from these injuries.
“Alexa?” said a deep, rich voice behind me.
I jumped and turned to see Kayden standing in the doorway. For the first time since we met, I couldn’t stand the sight of him. All of my earlier thoughts of the conversation we needed to have were forgotten. Swiping the tears from my face, I went to stand in front of him, ignoring the fluttery feeling in my chest as a result of his proximity.
“What have you done?” I whispered. Then, I pushed past him and left.
Once outside, I sat down on the steps and buried my face in my hands. Tears flowed freely now, and I could barely see straight between them and my dizziness. Some part of me knew I’d been wrong to say that to Kayden. He’d only done what he had to. And really, would I have rather it been him lying on that hospital bed? I had no answer for that. All I knew was that I felt sick over seeing Mark that way. And I was angry at Kayden for having put him there.
When I felt his unmistakable presence behind me, I stood up abruptly, unsteadily. Spots danced before my wet eyes. “I don’t want to talk to you right now. Leave me alone,” I said, without turning around.
Behind me, Kayden released a heavy breath. “I’ve heard this before,” he said.
“Then start paying attention.”
“How can you, of all people, pass judgment on me?”
I spun around to face him, finding it difficult to maintain my balance. I felt dizzier than ever now. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Though Kayden’s dark eyes were filled with frustration, his face betrayed nothing. “You know exactly what I mean,” he said. “You know I didn’t want to fight Mark. I had no choice, just like you had no choice with Daniel. But I never blamed you for what you did, because I knew you did what you had to. If you could get over your own emotions for a moment, you would realize that I did the same thing.”
A part of me knew he was right, but I was way too keyed up at the moment to let anything rational through. “I was wrong, then!” I shouted. “And you were wrong today. Every single one of us who steps into that arena is wrong! No one forces us to fight. We make our own choices, and we chose wrong! ”
I realized how hysterical I sounded, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I was just so very angry, and I needed to let it out somehow. Kayden wasn’t even the one I was mad at, not really, but he happened to be the lucky one to be around me while I had my breakdown. I still was unsure as to who was at the source of my anger, but I was starting to think it was everyone. I hated these people, all of them, and their stupid, crazy, fucked up ways. But most of all, I think I hated myself, for allowing them to drag me into this loony lifestyle.
; The shouting must have taken the last of my energy, though, because I felt my knees buckle beneath me, and I blacked out before I could hear Kayden’s response.
Chapter Sixty
I felt like I was floating. Like I was floating through the air on a cloud, only the cloud wasn’t fluffy, like you’d expect a cloud to be. No, what I was floating on was smooth and warm, gentle and strong at the same time. In my weak state, it took me a moment to realize that I wasn’t floating at all. I was being carried. And if the tingling in my chest was any indication, I was being carried by Kayden.
I tried to lift my head a few times, but was unable. My muscles wouldn’t respond to any of my commands. I wanted to tell him to put me down, that I didn’t need to be carried like an infant, though I definitely did. But at the same time, I just wanted to stay in his arms like this forever. I wanted to have him hold me and to lose myself in his touch. I felt elated. Kayden carried me so close, held me tightly against his chest. I felt so wonderful that I wondered if I’d died and gone to heaven.
I know I was dipping in and out of consciousness, because I caught glimpses of things as Kayden carried me. Buildings and streetlights flashed by, then trees and bright stars overhead. When the scene changed yet again, I saw a fireplace and large bookshelf. I knew where I was.
Strangely enough, it felt like coming home, even though it was his home, not mine. When he gently laid me down on the couch, I almost whimpered at the loss of his touch. It was as if part of my soul was ripped away from me, like losing my grip on a ledge I was clinging to. It was like falling. Falling back into a fire whose heat I was so familiar with, after having been in a warm, comfortable place, a place that only Kayden could ever take me.
He returned a moment later, and I felt the couch dip with his weight as he sat beside me. I managed to crack my eyes open a little more, but the effort was painfully difficult. I just wanted to go to sleep. He leaned over me, and my chest swelled with him so close to me again. When he brushed my hair out of my face, the rough, but gentle tips of his fingers made goose bumps rise on my skin. I closed my eyes again, basking under the feel of his touch. But when I felt something warm and wet touch my lips, my eyes flew open again.
Kayden was pressing his wrist to my mouth, and when I looked up at his face, I saw that his fangs were exposed and they had a little blood at the tips of them. “You have to drink, Alexa,” he said softly.
Even though it was obvious, it took me a second to realize what he meant. Summoning what little energy I had, I managed to give my head a small shake. Even that small movement made the world go black for a second.
Kayden’s voice took on a note of urgency. “You have to try. Please. Just trust me.”
When he pushed his wrist to my mouth again, I had no choice but to taste his blood. The second it hit my tongue, I swallowed involuntarily and felt a small zing of energy, like my heart just picked up in pace. His blood was sweet and warm, and before I knew what I was doing, I latched onto his wrist with my teeth. They sank through his skin way too easily, but I was too enthralled at the moment to really consider it.
The more I drank, the better I felt. And when I say better, I mean amazing. I had never done drugs in my life, but if I had to compare drinking his blood to something, I would call it ecstasy. It made my skin tingle, and my mind cleared almost immediately, which eventually gave me a clear enough head to realize what I was doing. But it was such a potent feeling that I had grabbed his wrist with both hands and taken a long swallow of his sweet blood before I was able to stop myself.
Finally, I was able to push his wrist away, but for a moment, all I could do was stare at the ceiling in pure bliss. I blinked hard and pulled myself to a sitting position, feeling better than I had in days.
I licked the last of his blood from my lips and ran an index finger over my incisors, which were long and sharp. “Oh, lord,” I said, more to myself than to him.
I didn’t want to look up into Kayden’s eyes, especially since I could feel them watching me. But he reached up and lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. “You’ve never had blood before?” he asked, studying what must have been my stoned-out face. I was still very much feeling the effects of his blood.
I shook my head. “They don’t exactly serve it at McDonalds.”
He looked down at my lips, causing me to run my tongue over them self-consciously. “I can’t believe you were able to stop at all then,” he said.
I stared at him for a moment, then, told the truth. “I didn’t want to.” He was still staring at my lips, and I shifted a little under his gaze. “How are you feeling?”
I blew out a slow breath and laughed a little at my euphoric state. “Like I could rule the world,” I said with what I’m sure was a goofy smile.
To my astonishment, he pulled me onto his lap and held me tightly to his chest. The feeling he always gave me combined with his blood now flowing through my body made me want to purr with absolute contentment. But when his hand brushed my knee, I felt the fabric of my jeans stick to my leg and looked down to see that it was stained with blood. He pushed my pant leg up. There was blood on my knee, but no injury.
“Did the blood heal it?” I asked.
He nodded, still staring down at my knee.
“How did that happen?”
His eyes stayed locked on my leg, and when he spoke, his voice seemed distracted. “Your knee hit the ground before I was able to catch you.”
He bit his bottom lip, still staring at the blood. I pulled myself up so that I was sitting on top of him. He looked surprised and a little apprehensive, but to my amazement, he didn’t make me move. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing—maybe it was because of the high I was still feeling, but I pushed my hair off my shoulder and tilted my head to the side.
His eyes shifted and focused on my neck, where I could feel my pulse racing. When he looked into my eyes I could see the struggle behind his golden ones. He wanted to drink from me, and we both knew it.
“No,” he said, almost like the word was painful for him.
His fangs were still very much exposed and he was breathing quite heavily. “Why not?”
“You’re still weak,” he gritted out.
I gave a half smile, then reached up behind his neck and pulled his head down so that his lips were just a half inch from my neck. “I’m a lot stronger than I look,” I whispered in his ear.
His body stiffened, and for a moment, I was sure he was going to push me off him. But when I felt a sharp pain in my neck, I knew I was wrong. Pulling him closer, I sighed at the feel of his soft lips on my skin. After the initial bite, there was no more pain. Actually, if I thought that drinking his blood was euphoric, I clearly had no idea what that meant. This was ecstasy.
His arms circled my waist and pulled me to him with a less-than gentle embrace. My eyelids fluttered as I stared up at the ceiling and let Kayden drink from me. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced, more wonderful than anything I could have ever imagined.
Much too soon, he pulled back and ran his tongue over his lips, which were covered with my blood. This made me find him even more attractive. This was amazing, considering the fact that I didn’t know I could find him any more attractive.
He stared into my eyes, and I could see the affection there. It made my heart swell. “Your eyes are glowing,” he said quietly.
I blinked and looked down at my hands, which were trembling with exhilaration. “Yeah, that happens, I guess.”
He tilted my chin up, once again forcing me to look into his sunrise eyes. “It’s beautiful,” he said. “Absolutely beautiful.”
I smiled at his compliment and moved to sit beside him. But he kept his arms tight around me and laid me back down on the couch, his body pressed close to mine.
Never in my life had I felt so safe. With Kayden’s powerful arms wrapped around me, his soft lips and short beard nuzzling my neck, I felt like I could weep tears of joy. I belonged in his arms. It was like they were created to hold
me. Like I was created to be his.
We stayed like that for a long time, him trailing his fingers up and down my arm as I clutched his other hand in mine. He broke the silence first. “What were you doing?” he whispered into my hair. “Trying to starve yourself?”
I closed my eyes and again answered truthfully. It was just impossible to lie when he was holding me. “No, I was trying to think clearly.”
He was quiet for a moment before asking, “Where would you get the idea that not eating would help you think clearly?”
“From S—” I paused, catching myself before I said Soraya’s name. “From someone,” I said stupidly.
He sighed into my hair and a shiver ran up my spine. “Always so guarded, Warrior.”
Now I remembered the things that I had planned to talk to him about. It took more effort than I wanted to admit to pull myself from his arms. He sat up, too, and I scooted down the couch a little to put some distance between us.
He raised an eyebrow, then looked down at his hands. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.”
I raised my eyebrows in return. “You think you make me uncomfortable?”
When he didn’t answer, I continued. “We both know exactly how you make me feel, Kayden.” I took a deep breath and added, “Considering the fact that I’m a Warrior, and you’re a Libra, I would wager I make you feel the same way.”
The look on his face was more impressed than anything else.
“When did you figure this out?”
I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. “Someone told me.”
He looked confused for a moment, before understanding flashed behind his eyes. I knew he already knew the answer to his next question, but he asked anyway. “Who told you, Alexa?”
I tilted my head a little and asked a question of my own. “Who knows what you are?” Now his face showed surprise, but I pushed forward. “I met a little girl named Soraya.”
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