I knew the current would whisk it away if I didn’t go back for it, but just as I dove back into the water a blinding light stopped me.
Breathless, I found myself perched on the beams across the top of my room, the same turned over bookcases and lamps only this time it wasn’t Cadence staring up at me. It was Skylynn.
My insane, rapid heartbeat almost made me lose my balance. I felt the ice under my hands, and on instinct I reached for my scarf, but it wasn’t there. Instead, there was the pearl bracelet. My heart ached at the sight of it. What the hell was going on!
Skylynn moved forward a few steps, holding my stare. “You want to come down from there?” she said in an exhausted tone.
“You’re a psychotic break,” I said with a gasp. “I’ve finally lost it. Maybe I never had it,” I said, trying to take in deep breaths. Though I was pulling air in, I still couldn’t breathe.
“You’ve definitely lost something, but it’s not your sanity.”
Terrified that I was going to fall, I turned my body, letting my arms support me, then swung my legs to the bookcase and climbed down. Slowly, I turned to face her.
“What did I lose, then?” I said after I swallowed nervously and saw all the bruises on my arms surface again.
Her angelic blue eyes filled with sympathy. “Your life.”
“Wh—what?”
She was in front of me in that instant and had pulled me to her, rocking me from side to side. Flashes of everything pushed through my mind.
I could smell the lake all over me. I felt the cold, the desperation, the fight for air. The fight for life.
“I’m not dead,” I stated flatly, having no choice but to believe that.
She urged me over my bed and sat me down. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a small velvet bag.
“Breathe this in,” she said, holding it near my mouth. I could smell lemon, and oddly it was bringing me a soothing calm. I took the sack from her and breathed in deeply, feeling her hand rub across my back.
“This can’t be real,” I said. After a few minutes, I let the sack fall and stared at the pearl bracelet now on my wrist. “What happened to me…?”
“I told you.”
“I’m breathing right now. I’m not dead.”
“It’s an illusion. Truth be told, where your body is, a machine is breathing for you. Right now, you’re standing at the edge of the veil. Your soul is plotting its course.”
“I’m not dead. This is a dream. I remember this dream. Cadence, Rasure, Mason holding me, talking to Gran…” I glanced down at my bracelet, feeling those two beats once more. “I remember everything.”
She reached for my hand and gripped it. “This accident happened almost two days ago. From what I gather, you were told your grandmother was dying. As you rushed to her, you had an accident…a car ran you off the road. Now you and your friends are all clinging to life. Without the machines, you would already be gone. Your brother Ben is keeping you alive, but Rasure is pushing to pull the plug. The doctors are on her side. They’re saying that all of you are clinically dead.”
“I talked to Rasure. I talked to people today,” I argued.
A protective anger masked her angelic image. “Everyone you talked to today…was not alive.”
“Gran,” I gasped.
Skylynn gripped my hand. “Her soul lingered only to tell you her peace. She’s moved on now—she is in bliss. I saw it with my own eyes.”
My eyes moved back and forth rapidly. Replaying my day, remembering that besides my friends and Gran I’d only talked to Rasure and Mrs. Cambridge.
“Rasure,” I seethed.
Skylynn let out a jagged breath. “I never wanted you to know this, any of this, not this way. You weren’t supposed to die.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I said, standing. “What are you? Did you kill me? I’m insane, just tell me that.”
A force of energy wrapped around me, and in the next beat I was sitting on the bed again. Whatever had moved me here was holding me in place.
“I,” Skylynn said, as if she didn’t notice that I was struggling against this invisible hold, “am a shadowed soul.”
“What the hell is a shadowed soul? Are you evil? Is that what you’re telling me?”
“No,” she said with a tone laced in grief. “I died before my time, and I can’t come back until everything has moved back into place. There is more to it, but that is the bottom line.”
“Is that what I am now?”
“No,” she whispered. She reached to caress my short blonde hair. “Your fate is undetermined at this moment.”
“What determines it?” Fear was all I could feel, not just for me, but for all of my friends.
“You. Whether or not you believe me, forgive me, trust me.”
“I’ve always trusted and believed you. What would I need to forgive you for?” I asked, letting my frantic stare meet hers.
“Listen, I’m in this form because my demon is impatience. I used magic—both good and bad magic—to manipulate people and circumstance, and when I died I didn’t learn my lesson. I fought against fate…the same impatience that had always cursed me.”
“You’ve manipulated me? Is that what you’re saying?”
“No, you are the only good thing I’ve done in the recent past.”
“You’re not making any sense to me.”
Skylynn faced forward and leaned across her knees. She stared into the distance before she spoke. “The night I found you…I was hunting an Escort.”
“Excuse me?”
“They’re beings that take the essence of life from others.”
“Like vampires or something?” I asked, not assuming anything was too unbelievable at this point.
“The essence of life is not blood. It’s energy,” she said sharply as her eyes met mine. It was like she was sick of explaining the difference, not to me, but to others. “They take energy from souls, which in turn dims the light of those souls. I heard a rumor in the veil that one of the prestigious Escorts was in play again. I knew if I took her down that it would set off a chain reaction. She was the mother to thousands just like her.”
“You’re not talking about Rasure,” I said with a gasp, remembering those pictures I’d developed before. That is, if I ever developed them. According to Skylynn, I was dead then.
Her eyes told me that was exactly who she was talking about. “The thing is, when I found her nest, I found you in the middle of it. At first I thought that she was not the great mother I was looking for, not if you’d managed to survive her, but then I realized who you are…one of seven.”
My eyes grew wide as I’d heard Gran say the same thing in my memories. “Seven what?”
“One of seven souls that will lead the war between light and darkness, one of the seven that will bring balance and save us from self-destruction.”
“I’m nothing more than a really janked up girl. I’m not your answer.”
The look in her eyes told me that she wanted to tell me I was right, but she could not force herself to lie. “I may have been wrong about your friends, but I’m not wrong about you.” She glanced at my wrist. “If I didn’t know that when I gave you that scarf, I knew for sure tonight.”
I felt something deep in my stomach coil with anticipation as I thought of the first time I saw Sebastian in the flesh. He looked back at me with the same ache that I knew my eyes must have carried, but he made no effort to confirm his name or his connection to me, at least not beyond this pearl bracelet. And according to Skylynn, I was dead when I laid eyes on him. What does that mean? Had he really had been haunting this manor all these years?
“What about my friends?” I asked, settling into this insanity.
“There have been many minds that have seen forward, predicted this time in our existence. I thought Mason and his brother were someone else. I learned the hard way that it was another set of twins that was meant to be at this fight, which was almost a relief because they are both
still alive. I thought Gavin was another soul, too, but I have my doubts.”
“And what did you think I was?”
“The seventh sister, the one that was hidden by the veil.”
“I have far more than seven sisters.”
I almost told her that Gran had said something close to that earlier today, but I didn’t trust my recent memories as much as I should have.
“I’m not talking about bloodlines, or even bonds that make family. You are one of seven whose soul is old enough to remember its path, who will change the course of humanity.”
“I’m a Falcon,” I stated firmly, looking down at my bracelet.
Her glance followed mine. “I withheld a truth from you.”
“A truth that doesn’t make sense, so it doesn’t matter.” She needed to know I was grateful for everything she’d done for me. I was able to have some kind of life simply because I felt protected by her. She’d even made me feel invincible at times. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that I had been at Sebastian’s side every day for years. That he was all too real to me. That I was terrified and excited that I had crossed his path once again.
“I’m talking about Phoenix.”
“Sebastian,” I corrected her, which confused her. “He must be dead, too, then, huh? What did he do to deserve the curse you’re fighting?”
“We are not the same. Not even close.”
My fearful eyes met hers. I remembered him walking into the shop, how everyone with the exception of my friends fled—even the men that were paid to protect me.
“He’s like Rasure?” I said with a gasp. That could not be true.
She raised a velvet bag to my mouth, forcing me to breathe in and out, forcing me to calm down.
“No. Phoenix is a phoenix. An immortal that can walk on all planes, that is, as long as he has every ounce of his ashes.”
The only reason I even knew what phoenixes were was that it was the seal of the city I lived in. It was a bird or something that destroyed itself by fire, only to be reborn new. Our city had burned before, rebuilt itself.
“That’s one good looking bird,” I said with a hint of sarcasm.
“Not a bird,” Skylynn assured me. “A soul that is immortal, that can always recreate itself, very powerful allies. One that I have crossed in the worst way possible.”
“You crossed him?” I asked with a shudder, knowing that it had to have taken more than nerve to do that.
Her gaze cascaded over me, and I saw the regret she claimed to feel. “I have a hard time asking for help. I always have. I only know how to bargain, how to manipulate. I stole some of his ashes. I did that so I could call him when I needed him.”
I was seeing her through new eyes. Before this moment, I never would have thought her to be all the things she was calling herself. She wasn’t cruel or cold, she was nurturing and giving—protective.
“So you had a thing for him?” I asked as jealousy ripped through my soul.
She smirked. “Oil and water. Never a thing.”
“Maybe it’s because I’m dead or whatever, but I’m not following you. I don’t get what you’re saying.” What I wanted to say was, ‘I don’t understand how you showed up with the boy I fell in love with long ago. How I’m connected to him, even though I’m not a blood Falcon.’ I wanted to ask her if she knew anything about twin realities or something called The Fall. I wanted to hash out everything I heard in the North Wing this morning, but I held back. I held back because I felt vulnerable right then, like I was standing between a past and a present and I wasn’t sure where my future was headed.
“When I first saw you, heard you tell me about the ice, your birth, I wasn’t entirely sure of who you were, not until I placed his ashes on your wrist and you breathed so deeply that you would have thought it was your first breath. I knew then you were his.”
I closed my eyes, soaking in all the memories I had of him, realizing I had been waiting for someone to say that to me for far too long.
“You have a past with him, but darkness divided you. Instead of telling him I found you, I kept you hidden.”
“Darkness did not take him. He left to fight. He left to protect lost souls. And when he left, he was not a phoenix.”
When she didn’t say anything, I let my gaze find her. I shrugged. “He’s surfaced in memories before, memories I found in this manor,” I admitted, leaving out the bit that I was pretty much obsessed with the parts of this manor I found those memories in.
“You never said...” Her voice trailed. She felt bad. I could see it in her eyes.
“I thought he was an ancestor,” I offered.
“You’re not saying something.”
A film of tears came over my eyes. I couldn’t deal with this. I was just told my grandmother was dead, that all my friends were, that I was and to top it off, I had the biggest heartbreaker in history decide to show himself now, a second too late.
“I didn’t say anything before because I saw him with my image. There is no way for me to have a history here. I was adopted. Half the time, I thought I fabricated him, and the other, I didn’t give a damn. It gave me peace to witness those memories.”
“Indie, I swear if you had mentioned this to me before, I would have taken you to him instantly.” She was fighting back tears, too. “Maybe if I had, this would not have happened.”
“If you knew—if you knew we had a past, why did you keep him away?”
“I don’t sense time the way you do. A year to you feels like five minutes to me. I was going to wait for your birthday. Only a few more weeks. He will never forgive me for this.”
“Call me crazy, but if any of the inside out memories in my mind are right, my address hasn’t changed. He never came home. It wasn’t your job to walk him to the front door.” Could he really have been alive all this time? Lived that many lives as a phoenix? He looked exactly the same way he did in the North Wing, like not a moment had passed. The only difference was the fire I saw in his eyes and the elevated power in his essence.
She started to say something, but she caught herself. She let out a breath, then said, “He was fighting the war, all the while looking for your soul, a soul that should be bright as the sun but was dimmed by grief, self-loathing…and now…if he has his way, you will never be with him.”
Could dead people puke? Because I was pretty sure I was about to. I pushed that sensation down as I squinted my eyes. I didn’t want anyone to see me this lovesick, not even Skylynn.
“Let me guess: death is not my color or something,” I said, hoping sarcasm would mask the quake in my voice.
“He wants to let you die. He thinks that is the only way to keep you safe, out of his war. Indie, I could tell him a million times, the people who are fighting with us now could tell him, but he won’t listen—he doesn’t understand that without you the war will end in self-destruction. In his mind, you will die and he will find you again, in another form, another life.”
“I’m too pissed off to die,” I fumed, thinking of Rasure, how she’d tormented me my entire life, and how she was now set to win my family name, my inheritance. And if that wasn’t enough, she had taken my only chance of happiness away. Two weeks. If I were alive in two weeks, the manor would have been mine and Skylynn would have brought me Sebastian. Life would have been perfect.
“You need to tell him that.”
“He left, Skylynn. He left with his brother, and he never came back.” I sucked in a breath. “Eventually, Ben will lose his court battle and they will pull the plug on my body, but I’m not going anywhere. I will haunt that bitch to the end of time.”
“A vengeful spirit. Now, that is not a good color for you—and sadly something that is very possible.” She hesitated as she thought over something, then went on. “I don’t think Rasure has any idea who you really are. If she did, you would not have survived this long. Escorts feed on energy. She fed off your endless grief, the grief of your enormous family over the years. She will feed off your loss,
the grief this town has, and never realize that she lived under the same roof of the one soul that could end her. You’re going to have to let go and die the way Phoenix wishes, or you are going to have to convince him to save you so you can finish your work here and move on to the real war.”
“Where are my friends?” I asked with an ache in my voice. I had to know if they’d already moved on, if I was now truly alone.
Skylynn looked down. “Phoenix and I stepped into your loop, because we did, you came out of it faster. In their minds, they are still struggling for life, clinging to that river bank.”
“What!”
“When you die without warning, you relive your last moments, sometimes day, a few times over. It’s your soul’s way of saying goodbye or understanding that life in that form cannot exist anymore. Only a few fight their way back. They will tumble through those last hours a time or two more…then it will be over.”
“Nothing is over!” I bellowed, breaking free from the hold of the energy that had been keeping me in place.
I charged out of the room, down the hall, then to the stairs. There, I found grief. The first floor of my manor was filled with all of my brothers and sisters, their spouses, children, and family friends. They were mourning my grandmother and preparing to mourn for me.
I charged through the front door and ran toward the side yard, through the snowy woods that I knew the lake I’d perished in was behind.
I gasped for air as I scraped by trees, brush, and every obstacle that could stop me from reaching the lake that had taken my life.
Finally, I reached it, and when I did I heard coughing. I saw our bodies lying on the bank, fighting the cold, fighting for air.
There were others standing over our bodies, the bodyguards that had followed me to the shop earlier and the girl in red that was with Wilder.
The men were standing over Gavin and Sophia, and what looked like fog was rising from their bodies and moving into the men. That act seemed to bring them absolute bliss. The girl was over Mason, pulling the same fog from him, smiling seductively as she did.
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