We talked about other paranormals, but we didn’t get very far because of the dinner crowd. Stone and Marcus said that we would continue tomorrow, but I wasn’t sure if I was prepared to learn more. What I had learned so far was overwhelming as it was. I wondered what it all had to do with me, though. I tried to push it all to the back of my mind and tried to sleep.
That night I dreamt of the last time I saw my father. In the dream, I was in bed when it happened, but in my memory, I knew I was in the kitchen. I just felt safer in my small room. I could hear the noises muffled through the door that were amplified when I was standing in the middle of it. I was only fifteen years old when they came. I was in no way a child, even then, but I felt small and brittle.
The crashing became louder, stomping feet came to my room. The door was thrown open. My father’s slitted eyes watched me. Get up! He growled, his voice deeper when he was angry. I threw away my covers. He grabbed my arm and started to pull me from the room. I tried to reach out for my only companion - my stuffed dragon. He was missing an eye and worn out, but he was mine. He was my only friend. I needed him. As I tugged my arm from my father, he pulled me harder.
“You fool! We have to leave now!” But I was irrational. I needed my dragon. I had named him Aiden, and I loved him. I couldn’t leave without him; he was my only source of comfort. Pulling away from my father was my mistake. Ripping my arm from him only resulted in my arm ripping from its socket. As he dragged me along, I was blinded by agony. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t focus, and I couldn’t breathe. He tried to lift me, I think. I remember a blinding pain that caused me to scream until my throat was raw. In the dream, I moved seamlessly from that night to the next moment I could remember.
I preferred the dreams of the white room. Not this room. Any room but this one. No. No. No. Not this room. The room that was carved from stone. It hurt to sit, it hurt to lie down. It was meant to hurt, hurt, hurt. I stayed there a year. Each day visited by creatures from my nightmares. Men with soulless eyes, not ones like Elijah. No, these men had no excuses besides their desire to inflict pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. So much pain. Each day it became harder to be. Each day it became a struggle to exist. Each day, I became less. At least with my father, I had his love, even as twisted as it was.
They beat me until my skin resembled the ashen ground I lay on; they touched my developing body roughly and without bounds. They screamed at me. They would destroy me and put me back together again. Over and over. I lost track of time in there. I was then moved to the white room. I was moved because I couldn’t tell them where my father was. Because I could not be what they demanded I be. One of the guards let it slip what the year was; I had lived in that hell for one year. He became my favorite. He hit a little less hard, and he screamed a little less loud. He touched my face with a loving caress. The side without the scars. He’d tell me what a shame it was. I couldn’t remember if this guard was a dream or if he was real. He might have been real to an extent and, romanticized by my hope for something, or someone better. In such a dark place, it worked. I had survived. . .almost.
The touch still lingered. This time it was on the wrong side of my face. That was what I remembered the most-his soft touch. Now it was as if I could still feel it. I moved my face so that the feeling wouldn’t stop. I wanted more of it. I breathed in, the air tasting different. It tasted of sandalwood and hints of forest pine. My eyes opened to soft, violet-colored eyes. They changed rapidly from the violet to an ocean blue. My hand moved on its own to push Stone’s hair from his eyes. He watched me, schooling his shock, as if not to scare me away.
“How did you sleep?” he asked, as I pulled my hand away.
“I slept.” With nightmares and memories mixed together so much that I wasn’t sure what was reality and what was fiction anymore. He smiled, and I saw the emerging of light yellow in his eyes. He was truly laughing.
“Come on. We have a lot more to teach you today, and so very little time before Jacobs decides to throw you into the mix.” Stone left me alone so that I could dress in different clothing. I hadn’t had the choice of so many different outfits in so long that I had tried to sleep in what I was wearing. Nixie had laughed so hard about my attempt to wear my nightclothes that tears formed in her coral eyes.
When I came out of the room, I was wearing a dress with a sweater on the top part of it. It reached well below my knees, but I still felt exposed. Unfortunately, it was the only thing I had been given that fit properly. I looked up at Stone’s sharp intake of breath. My eyes widened with fear, and I frantically looked to see what had caused his shock. There was nothing else in the room but us. When I looked at him, his eyes roamed the length of my body. The look made me feel uncomfortable, but not in the way I expected. This was a different kind of uncomfortable. While other stares made me shrink in fear, his made me squirm with embarrassment. I felt as if I had something to hide.
“I can change.” I started to turn away but Stone grabbed me before I could get too far.
“No. Gods no. You look…amazing.” His voice was almost breathless.
He stood so close, too close. Yet somehow farther than I wanted him to be. I didn’t dare look past his chest, which was level with my eyes. His hands, Gods they were the softest things I had ever felt on my skin. I closed my eyes against the assault. I felt him lift my chin, and my entire body followed. I didn’t want to let his touch go. For once, the touch of another, besides my Aiden, had made me feel safe. I didn’t know why.
“You should stand tall. Stop hiding.”
His breath feathered over the sensitive skin of my lids. I couldn’t have kept my eyes open even if I tried.
“Audrey.” His voice was so, so, so close. I felt his hands move through my thick hair, the strands wrapping around his fingers, knotting and refusing to let him go.
“Audrey! Are you-? Well, if this isn’t the most awkward time to walk in,” Nixie practically sang as Stone and I jumped away from each other. My heart was racing to the point I thought I would collapse. I looked away from Stone, feeling too horrified to look into his eyes. He looked beyond irritated. I wasn’t sure if he was angry with me or something else.
“Yes, Nixie, a horrible time to come in. But now that you are here, I suppose we can head down for breakfast.” Stone stomped out of the room.
“Well, what fish swam up his ass this morning?” Nixie looked at me with a bright smile. “Look at you! You are practically glowing! You are looking very alive this morning.” She offered me a huge wink.
I moved my hair in front of my face, in front of my scars, in front of where he touched me so tenderly. My skin felt branded by the heat that was left behind.
“Well come on. You can tell me all about your steamy moment I interrupted while we head down to the cafeteria.” Nixie grabbed my hand, the contact with her was becoming oddly normal. On the way down, Nixie started to tell me more about the siren song as the elevator started to move.
“Really sirens can use it on humans only. I think I am one of the only existing sirens that has managed to use it on paranormals. But don’t tell anyone,” She winked at me with a large smile spreading across her face, “Well, almost all paranormals. I can’t on wraiths, or a few others. Mostly the spirit element paranormals, like wraiths, Djinns and creatures of that nature. And, well, the legendary dragon shifters as well but I think it’s because they are so iron willed. No one actually believes in the dragons anymore. They became extinct, I think it was over three hundred years ago or so. Shame, they were dangerous, beautiful folks. Of course it is not like I met one before but man they had to be the most possessive creatures out there. I heard the males were like a pack of Alpha werewolves mixed with leprechauns.” I wanted to ask what kind of element the dragons had lived under, what elemental God did they belong to? My …someone from my past had told me about the Gods, I could remember that. I could remember that the dragons had three out of the five elements of the paranormal world. Nixie broke my train of thought as she moved on.
“Oh and if you think leprechauns are possessive, you should have met this gargoyle I went out with once. Hot, especially with that tail! Gods the things that man could do with his tail… Of course they are only playful with their tails when they really like you.” Nixie drifted off as we entered the cafeteria. Stone was already sitting at the table in the back corner. I felt a pang of something deep in my heart. He was being considerate. The thought almost put tears in my eyes.
“I will grab your food. Is there something you want in particular?” Nixie asked.
I started to shake my head, but I did have a request.
“Grapes, please.” My voice was still barely a whisper, but I noticed how it was getting stronger with more use. It sounded less rustic and more musical. Nixie’s face broke out into a shining smile, her matching coral lips spread wide and thinned. She squeaked and wrapped her arms around me in a quick hug before she disappeared. Stone saw and made a move to get up. I headed in his direction.
Chapter Twenty
Stone
Gods, seeing her in that dress. Those long narrow legs, granted skinnier than I liked, but it was the most skin I had seen on her since I had met her. I wanted to touch every exposed piece of skin I could find. My skin practically itched for me to do so.
Standing so close to her, I could smell her unique scent of jasmine and lavender. I moved closer, I couldn’t seem to stop myself. Gor once, she didn’t move back or flinch, but she wouldn’t look at me. She wouldn’t stand to her full height. I wanted her to be proud of who she was. I wanted her to know how beautiful I saw her. How the world saw her.
I touched her scars again. I knew how they felt; raised, leathery, and tight. When one grew into scars, the skin around didn’t grow quite right.
I forced her to look at me, seconds from pressing my lips against hers. Then Nixie came and stole her away.
I broke free from the memory of our almost kiss when I heard Nixie’s delighted squeal. Looking up, I saw Audrey looking slightly lost, but heading in my direction. Our last kiss lingered on my lips. The next time I kissed her, she would know it was me, and I would take more. I could not settle for less. I would not. I started to stand, the black sweater she wore over her dark green dress made her hair all the more prominent. I thought back to when my fingers had tangled around her locks. Her hair looked coarse and almost dry but touching it was like touching silk.
“What were you two discussing?” I asked as she arrived. She sat next to me, at least a foot away from me, too far for my liking, but I knew she needed to come to me, not the other way around. I didn’t want to push her.
“Mermaids versus sirens. It was…enlightening. Is there more you could tell me about?” She looked up at me with those eyes, almost as if she could trust me, and I felt my entire insides tighten.
“There is so much to tell you, I don’t even know where to start. I guess I should explain the paranormal world to you. We used to be split by races, and we kept to ourselves. Some had rivalries, like angels and wraiths. They can’t be near each other. Ever. That’s just asking for disaster. Witches and wraiths as well. Never a good combination. About four hundred years ago, humans started learning about the paranormal world. It didn’t end well for us. Humans played on our rivalries and pretty much had us destroying ourselves. Some races became extinct because of that. Some became endangered and extremely rare.”
“Like dragon shifters?” Audrey gave me a strange look. I couldn’t understand the look, but more importantly, I was baffled that she knew about dragon shifters. It must have shown, because she said, “Nixie told me a little about them.”
“Yes, like the dragon shifters. They were a proud, powerful race that a lot of paranormals feared. They became a target, especially for their hearts.” Audrey gave me a look of utter horror. “If someone possessed half of a dragon shifter’s heart, they not only controlled the shifter, but could tap into the dragon’s power. Anyway after that, powerful families within the community decided to take it upon themselves to offer protection to certain races.” I gave her a wink to try and lighten the mood again. “The paranormal world is no longer divided by race but divided by name. The family you belong with says a lot about you. Some families, steal and force you into their clans. Like the Vedenins who held you captive.” She flinched away, but there was nothing I could do about that. She needed to know the truth about our world. We weren’t safe, or happy or anything quite like that. Paranormals, much like humans, were greedy for power and willing to do almost anything to get what they wanted.
Nixie set a tray down in front of Audrey, who looked at it with enthusiasm. Then I saw what she looked at. Grapes. Something changed in me at that moment. A simple fruit made her seem more alive than anything else. When I looked at Audrey, she became much more than the mystery we had to solve. She belonged to me. I stopped that train of thought before they could reach any other part of my mind or body. She couldn’t be mine. She would never be mine.
Nixie started to tell Audrey stories of the time she lived in the sea. Audrey seemed fascinated, but at the same time, she held back. I wondered if she would always hold back.
“Audrey.” Elijah’s detached voice came from behind us.
She turned to look at him; she was the only person I knew that would look a wraith in the eye for that long. Her shoulders sagged slightly as if in relief, and I wondered what it was about him that made her feel relaxed.
“Jacobs would like to have a word.” He turned away and headed toward Jacobs’ office. We all knew he probably wanted this to be a one-on-one meeting. That wouldn’t stop me though. Things had changed. She…I wanted her to need me there.
When Audrey didn’t automatically go after Elijah, my heart swelled. I stood and motioned her to follow, barely containing my smile. I wanted to hold out my hand, take her waist in my arm, and lead her, but I knew even offering her a hand would probably scare her. She took one last longing glance at the grapes and stood. It was as if she was expecting this to happen. Nixie looked like she wanted to follow.
“You can come back and eat when you’re finished, Audrey.”
She looked up at me with those big frightened eyes, and I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t know if the look rooted from fear of punishment or fear of hope. Either forced the need to protect her more. What had those cruel bastards done to her? Elijah waited at the elevators for us, and his gaze shifted to me.
“You can stay. Jacobs needs to speak with her alone.”
As soon as the doors opened, Elijah turned on his heel, marched in, and waited for Audrey to follow. She looked back at me, tucked her head in and her shoulders slumped from her former taller position, and she followed.
Shit, I wanted to follow her. I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her that she was fine, that she was safe here. But I didn’t know that for sure, did I? There had to be a reason Jacobs wanted to see her. He knew more than he said. I turned, heading toward Nixie. Hopefully, she knew more than she let on, too.
Chapter Twenty-One
Audrey
The doors shut. I remembered that my father hated elevators. I hated them too. They were small, too small. The air left my body only to return seconds later. I tasted the same air. The same. The same. The same. The walls that seemed too close before, now grew even closer. The space was suffocating, and Elijah stood still, a stone statue, safe in his unbreakable skin. I was fragile in my easy to slice through skin and breakable bones. Pieces of me could be ripped off. Breakable. I was so very…breakable. The doors opened suddenly, and Elijah pushed me out of the enclosed space.
“We will take the stairs.” He moved to the door next to the elevators, and we started upwards.
For a moment I felt grateful of Elijah’s actions. I didn’t know how to express it, other than to remain silent and keep my head down.
“Your fear was stifling. Are you claustrophobic?”
My head shot up before I could stop it. He had sounded different when he asked me that, almost perplexed. I had
to see. But his eyes remained the same endless black.
“To be claustrophobic means to have a phobia or fear of enclosed spaces.” Back to the logical, unexpressive voice.
“I suppose. I-I don’t know.” It was true. I didn’t know. Most of the time I felt safe in small spaces. I felt a comfort there, but in that metal box, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“This way.” He opened the door and I stepped out into a familiar looking hallway.
This floor was decorated in a soft green and I couldn’t get enough of the color. I stopped and stared. In the color, I saw the lust, the hate, and every other emotion experienced within the hall. The color remembered it all. I realized this wasn’t the first time I felt memories from colors. It was a strange, new sensation that I had been noticing more and more since I had arrived. Since white was the absence of color, in my white room I was safe from anything like this. In my stone room there were rarely times my eyes were open or not swollen shut.
When we arrived in Jacobs’ office, my eyes immediately went to the floor. Submission to males like Jacobs’ was the safest. They could always smell your fear but at least I could hide it in my eyes this way. Elijah left me in front of Jacobs' desk but I heard the door click shut. My body trembled slightly. Four years was a long time not to be beaten and I had grown accustomed to unbruised and unbeaten skin. Jacobs’ cleared his throat and began.
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