I had sat Audrey down and started to search around the kitchen for food. Xavier had told us that we could take anything we wanted, so I started to grab food to make a meal for Audrey. Looking over at her while I started making something, I could see tears in her eyes.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, staying on the other side of the counter, even though all I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and never let her go.
“It’s a beautiful story,” she whispered. “I wonder…” She looked down.
I hoped I wouldn’t have to coax it out of her.
“I wonder if my father felt the same way about my mother.” Now she looked up at me with hope in her eyes.
This time I did move away from the counter. I went around and grabbed her hands in mine and brought them to my lips. Her tears washed away into something close to desire. My body reacted.
“I am positive your father loved her more than anything,” I whispered, pulling her head into my chest and stroking the back of her head. I could only hope my words were true and, if they weren’t, that she would never know the truth.
“I never asked him about her…does that make me a bad daughter?” Audrey asked me a while later after I had moved back to my spot in front of the stove. I looked up at her. She nervously touched the kitchen tiles as if she wanted to start counting them but instead she was focusing on her question.
“Never.” I had the urge to tell her about my mother’s death. Instead I decided to tell her a different story. “When I was about five years old my mother would tell me that the best way to a girl’s heart was to make her a special dinner. That very night,” I looked up at her, she was smiling, leaning forward as if excited to see what I had to say, “I made her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. With the crust cut off, just the way I liked it.” I looked back down to the sauce that I was stirring and heard her huff a little.
“That’s all? How did she react?” Her voice was so light, so free that I couldn’t stop myself from looking up at her. There was a wistful smile on her face and she looked so eager.
“She looked down at me, smiled and she pulled me onto her lap. Then she explained that what I had done was a selfless and a wonderful thing to do. The problem was though I had made the sandwich the way I liked it. I hadn’t thought of what she would like. She assured me that the girl would always like that I had made the effort in the first place, but going that extra mile, doing that extra little thing would make her fall in love with me.”
I swallowed, wishing I had listened to my mother more, but wishing for the past to be different is useless. There was no point in it.
“So I ran back to where I had left the crust and grabbed it all in my hands and offered it to her. She laughed for what seemed like years. I miss her laugh.” I didn’t look up from stirring for a long time.
I felt small hands move around my waist. Looking down I recognized the lightly tanned skin. She was looking so much better since we left the compound at the Braden’s land. Thinking back to that reminded me that she had been talking to Elijah, I wanted to know what they had talked about. What it is that had the wraith acting so out of character around her?
When I turned, I had a spoon ready for her to try the sauce. She looked down at it then looked up at me as if she was unsure. I snickered a little.
“Open up.” I watched as her beautiful lips opened. I watched the scarred part wondering if, even after all these years, if it hurt to move. And if it did, if it even had the slightest indication that it hurt, I would kiss the pain away, every time she had to move her lips. I hadn’t realized that I started to lick my own lips when I looked at her placing the edge of the spoon in her mouth.
She had her eyes closed, which thank Gods she did because I knew my eyes were flashing a dangerous color. I shut my own eyes, but it was worse because now I could hear the slight moan that slipped from her lips, and the way she started to say yum. I couldn’t resist.
I moved on instinct, as if I knew right where her lips would be. I could taste the sauce I had made still on her tongue, and I moved a little closer grabbing her hips with my hands.
When she finally pulled away for air, I moved from her lips to the corner of her mouth…to the scarred part. I kissed there then moved down to her neck. She stretched her neck so that I could get better access, I don’t know if she meant to or if it was pure instinct. Her breathing was heavy.
“I really liked the sauce.” She laughed a little.
My lips stopped against her smooth skin, and I let a laugh rumble down in my chest. She shivered slightly, and I knew that my closeness was affecting her. When I looked up at her, she was biting her lips and making parts of my body demand so much more from her.
“I am glad you like it,” I whispered, my lips moving to her ear. She shuddered again. I stepped back. I knew if I kept touching her, if I thought about how I just told her about the one memory I had of my mother that wasn’t stained with the memory of her dying, I would not let her go.
It was a simple spaghetti dinner, but Audrey ate it faster than she had any other meal. She ate more than she usually did as well.
“What did Elijah want?” I asked before taking a bite of my own food.
She stopped and looked down at her plate.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Audrey
I wasn’t sure what to say. I thought back to earlier in the day when Elijah had asked me if he could speak to me. Stone had looked upset, but didn’t stop me from going to talk with Elijah.
We had wandered the halls for a while, both of us silent. I didn’t know what he had wanted in the first place, and while I grew braver in the presence of Stone and Nixie, Elijah was completely different. My father was someone I knew not to cross. Elijah was cold, hard, and completely unfeeling. He was a new type of danger that I knew instinctively never to push.
“I have decided to stay.” Elijah was looking down at me and spoke in his completely monotone voice.
I swallowed. I didn’t know what he wanted me to say. I was curious about his involvement in all of this and why he would stay. If he was there all those years ago when I was first taken, he had known what Jacobs was up to the entire time. Why was he helping me now?
“You can ask me,” Elijah stated looking forward, clasping his hands behind his back. He kept his pace steady, as if he had said nothing at all.
“I don’t understand…” I moved next to him. I was ready to finish the statement when he actually sighed.
“There is…something about you.” It was strange but his words, the way his body tightened ever so slightly. It seemed like he was…frustrated. “I find you completely aggravating. I can’t quite decide whether I would kill you for making me…” He stopped his thought but didn’t stop his walk. “I find that being in your mind was enlightening.”
With that Elijah stopped turned to me and nodded. He walked away without another word and I was left wondering what was so enlightening about me. But with his dismissal, I turned back toward my room.
Stone cleared his throat and pulled me back to the present. Looking up at him, I could see the worry painting the irises of his eyes.
I told Stone of the whole encounter. The hand that held his fork tightened so much that the skin on his fist looked dangerously white. I wished I could tell him that my encounter with Elijah made sense, that I understood why the wraith would want to stay, but I was more confused than ever.
“I wanted you to know that I will leave with you. If that is what you want,” I whispered, looking at my plate, afraid of what he would say.
When I felt the softness of his hand, my stomach tightened. I knew this would be it, he would tell me that he was done with me. I pulled my lip into my mouth biting down hard. How could I ever be allowed to keep a beautiful creature such as him?
“What I want is to be with you.”
My heart hammered in my chest at his words, and I couldn’t breathe right.
I looked up at him, seeing his eyes flash that light pink color
that I had longed to see. It wasn’t very long, but it was there. My stomach tightened for a different reason. He was towering over me, him standing, me sitting. I wished I could find the strength to speak. Instead his hand moved to touch the scarred side of my face, tucking the hair that was loose behind my ear. I leaned into his warm hand, loving his touch more than anything.
“I wish you wouldn’t hide.”
I hadn’t realized I had closed my eyes until I had to pry them open to look into his. He watched me steadily and unmoving. I searched desperately looking for something. I didn’t know what until I saw it. His eyes were a dark purple maroon. Desire mixed with something entirely different. He leaned his head a little closer, placing a small kiss on my lips.
“I want you more than I have ever wanted anything else in my life.” Stone whispered.
I don’t know what had possessed me to, but my arms moved. They pulled him down so hard that I was sure I bruised our lips. The kiss, while frantic, was passionate; it was more telling than his words. More telling than his hands, which had moved to my legs. He wrapped his huge hands under my thighs and lifted me up. This wasn’t like before when he pushed his hips almost immediately. He was cradling me against his body, making me feel cherished.
“Gods help me, Audrey. I have fallen in love with you.”
I didn’t even know how, but we were moving. We made it back to my room with no problems, still embracing each other. Giving each other small feather light kisses here and there. This wasn’t about an uncontrollable desire. Closing off the door, closed us off to the world. Nothing could disrupt us.
He set me down gently, he was always so gentle with me, on the bed. His hands were going for my shirt, pulling it off. Before I was scared, now I was excited. As his hands touched every exposed piece of skin that he could, his eyes took more of me in. I was glad for the protection of the bra I was wearing but I knew with the heat in his eyes, it wouldn’t remain on me for much longer.
His right hand ran up the cliffs and basins of my scars. He bent down and kissed me again. I took his shirt in my hands and pulled it off of him. It seemed wholly unfair; such a beautiful creature would ever want to lay with me. My hands moved up the ridges of his body, wonderfully sculpted, it brought tears to my eyes that I couldn’t be as unblemished as he.
Pulling away from my neck, he looked me right in the eye.
“Is this too much too fast?” His voice was breathless, gruff.
I wanted to bite my lip at the reaction it was causing through my body. I shook my head.
“What? What is it?” He brushed his lips against mine as he spoke.
“I am so…damaged.” I whispered.
“But repairable. Always repairable,” he whispered, pushing a stronger kiss on my lips. I felt his body move. “You are so much more than that first girl I met. You wouldn’t even look me in the eyes then. You would shudder in fear when someone got too close. You are so much more than you could ever realize.”
My arms went around his wide shoulders needing to feel his skin against mine. I took in a shaky breath.
“But you are perfect.” I whispered. It took all my courage and he laughed at me. It wasn’t a full out belly laugh, but a snickering.
“No one is perfect, especially not me.” This time he was nibbling on my ear lobe.
My eyes shut half way as the sensations of his teeth on my ear forced my body to react. I didn’t speak thinking on my own thoughts. His lips made a trail back to my lips, and while I kissed him back, and while my body tingled with his heat mixed with mine, my mind wasn’t quite in the moment.
He noticed. “What if I told you, that even though your skin is marred, even if it had been branded by another, violently, you were the most exquisite being I have ever laid my eyes on?”
I didn’t think. I reacted once more pulling his body fully on top of mine. My hands moved down to his dark, black jeans. I fumbled with the button at the top, while he continued to caress my skin with his lips and tongue.
“Gabriel…I think,” I paused, the words getting caught in my throat. I knew that he told me he was falling in love with me, but how could I be sure? He looked up at me now, completely ignoring the bra cup he was slowly, torturously, removing with his teeth. When he looked up at me, his eyes were an even lighter maroon color, it was more of a light red color.
“I think that I am in love with you.” The color in his eyes changed dramatically. Before they were a light red, now they were a shining shade of pink. He watched me closely.
“I love you, Audrey.” I started to smile when he placed his forehead between my breasts.
“Can we have a moment to savor this?” I made it sound light, airy but I was scared that he was lying about what he said, that his eye color had changed without his knowledge. That he was controlling it. But he told me at the cabin he never did that, never around me unless absolutely necessary.
“There is something I need to show you.” He looked up at me, while mostly his eye color was pink it was mixed with deep blue of sadness.
I bit the inside of my cheek, worried at what he would show me.
“I can’t believe I am going to do this.” He took a deep breath. Suddenly his form changed. It didn’t shrink too much in size, maybe a little less full in the shoulders, a little less height than before. His dark black hair was a lighter black, borderline brown. But his eyes remained the same.
The biggest change was his skin. Once tan and smooth, it was now riddled with all types of scars. Small, cut like ones, bullet shaped ones, longer deadlier looking ones like claw marks. Like mine. I touched the skin in front of me, a scar that looked so much like my own, but mine were unique to my father’s claws. He flinched slightly.
“Does it hurt?” I whispered. I knew from experience that sometimes even though the pain was long gone, the memories of the pain were still fresh, still right there in your mind.
“Not anymore.” His voice was a little rawer in this form. I looked up at him, hoping he wasn’t putting on a fake skin in order to make me feel comfortable with him. “I know what you are thinking, but this…this,” He looked down at his maimed skin, “This is the real me. Completely and utterly. Shifters, animal, human, shape, we all have one solid form, the real us. This is where we show how we age, the wounds that we heal.
“Shifters have the power to control the cells in our bodies to reform new ones, to heal faster, or heal at a normal rate, but it will always leave a scar on our real skin if severe enough. That is how we change forms. Never do shifters show their true form to another person. You are the only person that I know of that even knows about this outside the shape-shifting community. Even the families don’t know. Sometimes there are just secrets that aren’t meant to be shared.” He looked up at me then, his eyes were a steel grey color.
“You must think…”
“You are gorgeous,” I whispered before he could finish his statement.
The scars on his skin showed an intricate map of his life. I couldn’t stop staring at it. His hand touched my face and I leaned into it, loving the raised skin of calluses. I looked into his eyes, and so many emotions were in them, I had to turn away. His lips touched mine and we fell back into our original positions.
Finally, I managed to get the button undone. He kissed my breasts, and I couldn’t stop the sounds escaping my throat. My body tightened in anticipation. His hands moved to my jeans and he slid them down. At this point, I was more than ready for anything. I swallowed hard when his skin touched the sides of my bare hips.
I bit my lip, holding in the sounds of pleasure that wanted out. That needed out. His hands moved all the way down my legs, from hips to the tips of my toes and back up again, but this time going for the inside. He didn’t waste time with the panties I wore. He ripped the seams and threw them. I wiggled, but I wasn’t sure what my body wanted. It just started to react on its own.
I had never done this before. I had never made love with someone. I had been forced to sleep with people, viol
ent acts of deep rage. Nothing like this. It never felt like this.
He touched me gently and I shivered, my head going back. My whole body tingled with a strange sensation. My stomach ached with the need to fill it with something…not with anything, but for him. I needed him.
We didn’t speak as he moved back up my body, placing kisses everywhere. I was completely open to him. And he to me. I touched where I could reach, wanting more of his skin on my tongue. I wanted to taste him as he got to taste me. Finally his eyes were locked on mine, his lips right above.
“I promise…” he started.
I nodded and waited. It had been many years since I was abused; my muscles hadn’t forgotten the pain of it. And I clenched without meaning too. Gabriel looked down at me again. “I would never hurt you.”
My body relaxed. He moved. I closed my eyes feeling full, feeling right. I whispered something, I wasn’t even sure I was saying words at this point. He moved, I moved with him.
I didn’t know who was who, and who was doing what. All I knew was that he held me close and kissed my shoulders, my neck, my lips. I did as much as I could between gasps and pants. Then it happened, a whole new sensation that had been building in my lower abdomen exploded. I came apart in his arms and he held me close as I screamed his name. He followed right after and turned us over holding me close. He told me how he would never let me break again.
• • •
In the morning, I woke up to feather light kisses all across my face, down my neck and exposed shoulders. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I didn’t want the kisses to stop.
The night was scorned into my mind, forever. I would see it as my first time. He was my first, and I was afraid for me, my only love. I knew it deep in my soul that I loved him with all my heart. I didn’t know if I would be able to keep him. I pushed away those thoughts hoping they would never come to be. When I opened my eyes, Gabriel was still feathering my skin with light kisses.
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