So, he now not only had proof that he was drugged, but he had conclusive evidence that he hadn’t been unfaithful to her. He touched a fingertip to the report once more. Trying to draw the energy from the importance of it.
Mitch walked back through the apartment and sat in a chair in the living room. He glanced at the sheets of paper lying on the coffee table. Houses. Houses she had driven around and picked up fact sheets on. Houses she liked the looks of enough that she wanted to see more.
If she would only come home. He would take her to look at a million houses if she would just come home. He had the time now. And when he didn’t have the time, he would make it. Alan had agreed to handle the rest of the trial prep work for Mitch, realizing he needed time to sort through the mess that had become his life.
Mitch stretched out his legs and got comfortable. He would wait right here until she came home. It didn’t matter how long it took. He would wait for her. He would wait, and he would make her understand. He had the proof, and he had witnesses now, but he prayed to God that would be enough.
One thing kept nagging the back of his mind. She had said that she couldn’t forget what she walked in on and that she couldn’t be with him anymore. It wasn’t that she said she wouldn’t. That would project some sort of anger or hurt. It was the term that she couldn’t that tore him in two. It was as if at that moment, she had withdrawn herself from the situation and their future had died at that same instance.
Chapter Nineteen
They sat quietly at the dinner table. The silence wasn’t helping her nerves. She knew he was trying to be supportive and understanding by giving her space, but if he didn’t say something soon, she was going to scream. She set her sandwich down on the plate and folded her hands in her lap.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked him.
Patrick seemed surprised by her question. “I told you, I just want to help you. I want to be here in case you need a friend. Please don’t angry with me.”
She shook her head. Angry with him? Had she sounded angry? She was angry with herself and with Mitch, but definitely not Patrick. “No, it’s not you, but I can’t stay here. I am angry, but not with you and I’m worried I’m going to end up taking it out on you.”
Patrick got up from the table and walked toward her. “That’s what you need,” he said when he got within inches of her. “You need to take it out on someone. Get angry, Sara. Yell at me, hit me, and just get angry. Scream until the pain goes away.”
She laughed. “So you want me to scream at you and hit you? You have a strange idea of friendship.”
“This isn’t about friendship right now. It’s about heartache. Now, I don’t know what that asshole was stupid enough to do, but obviously, it was bad. And there are only two ways to get over heartache. Tears and anger. You’ve shed the tears. So now it’s time for anger.” He gave her a teasing nudge on her shoulder.
“Don’t do that.” She smiled. “I’m not going to hit you, Patrick.”
“I’m not Patrick, I’m Mitch. I’m Mitch, and I hurt you, and I made you feel horrible. I’m standing right here, plain as day. I’m fine, but you’re not. You’re hurt because of me. Don’t you want to get back at me?” He gave her another nudge. A bit more aggressive this time.
“I said to stop it!” Sara snapped at him.
Patrick stared at her. “No. I am Mitch! Tell me how angry you are, how hurt you are!” He shoved her again, only harder.
Her restraint snapped. “Stop it!” She shoved him harder, much harder than he had her.
“Why should I? Tell me, Sara. I’m Mitch. Why are you so angry with me?”
Tears welled in her eyes, and she lunged at him. Screaming, she pounded on his chest over and over again. She wasn’t actually saying anything. They were just shouts of incomprehensible anger.
Patrick waited while she let all of her anger boil to the surface. When she had finally started to go lax, he grabbed onto her and held her as she cried in his arms.
“Shh. That’s good, Sara. Let it all out. Let me help you feel better.” Patrick held her with one hand and rubbed a hand up and down her back.
She looked up at him then, suddenly very aware of their closeness. “Patrick?”
“Yes, Sara.” He looked at her with a genuine look of concern in his eyes.
“Do you still, I mean, am I pretty? Do you still like me?” She felt foolish for asking such a childish question.
“I do, honey. But I don’t want you to…umph.” Patrick was cut off by Sara’s mouth crushing his. He was stunned at first, unsure what to do. He knew why she did it. But what role could he possibly play? He couldn’t be a part of her trying to forget about another man by way of seducing him. And he couldn’t reject her, either. She had already been hurt too badly.
“Sara.” Patrick slowly pulled away. “Why did you do that?” He was using both hands to massage the back of her neck and shoulders.
“Make love to me, Patrick.” She kissed him again.
Oh, God. Why him? He had wanted to hear those words come from her mouth so many times. But he knew she didn’t want him. He knew she wanted Mitch. She wanted Patrick to sleep with her until she forgot Mitch. If it was any other woman, he would be happy to oblige, but he really liked Sara. He didn’t want to be a rebound screw for her.
“Sara, we can’t.”
“Why? I thought you liked me?”
God, do I! “I do, Sara. That’s exactly why we can’t. If I make love with you, I won’t want it to be just once. I’ll want a relationship with you.”
A relationship? Mitch was out of her life. She would love him forever, but his betrayal had separated them for all eternity. She would never be able to lie with him at night after they had been sated by their lovemaking. Their bodies lax from their orgasms. Why should she be alone? Just because she would always love Mitch, did that mean that she couldn’t at least try to have something meaningful with someone else?
“Mitch is out of my life, Patrick. He used me. He lied to me. I need you. Please, make love to me. Show me that I’m still a woman.” She was undoing the buttons of his shirt.
“Sara, no,” he held her hands, stopping her. “If I make love with you, it will be because you want me, not because Mitch hurt you.”
She would not take no for an answer. She needed Patrick. She needed him to prove to her that she was desirable. She needed to know that she was worth it. That she wouldn’t always be second fiddle to someone like Claudia.
Sara released her hands from his hold. She relaxed them at her side and waited for him to do the same. Then when his guard was down, she grabbed his shirt and ripped it open. Buttons flew as she began laving him with wet hot kisses.
Patrick groaned as he threw his head back. “Sara, stop. We can’t do this.”
“I need you, Patrick. Please. Take me, make me yours.” Why had she said that, she wondered? She knew she would always belong to Mitch. It didn’t matter what he had done. She could give her body to Patrick, but her soul and her heart would always belong to Mitch.
“Sara, if you don’t stop this now, I’m not going to be able to stop myself. You need to think about that.”
She reached up and kissed his earlobe. “I’ve thought about it. Please, Patrick, take me to your bedroom. Make love to me there.”
He swept her up and carried her down the hall. When they got in the bedroom, he set her on the bed and leaned over her. He was kissing her feverishly as he began to lift the sweatshirt that she had borrowed from his sister’s stash of clothing.
Continuing to kiss her, he ran his thumbs over her breasts. They didn’t harden by his touch and he slid his hand down and under the waist band of the cotton shorts she wore.
Just as he touched her pussy she bolted from the bed. “You aren’t aroused are you Sara? You don’t want this do you?” He stated from the lack of her response. “Are you using sex as an outlet for your pain sweetheart?”
She stood on the other side of the room with her back to him, shak
ing from relentless tears.
“Sara. It’s okay.” Patrick placed his hands on her shoulder.
She didn’t turn to face him. “I’m so sorry, Patrick. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Neither one of them spoke for several moments when she finally turned to face him. “I have to leave. I have to go to him. Despite what he’s done, I still love him.”
“I know. I hope he realizes how lucky he is to have your heart.” He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I’ll drive you home. But, Sara, whatever he did hurt you pretty bad. Make sure he never makes that mistake again. Don’t let him. Don’t let him forget how special you are.”
She gave him a somber smile. “I will. I don’t know how, but I will find a way to forgive him and give him a second chance.” She walked toward the door, holding her purse and her other clothes. “Patrick. Thank you, for everything.”
Chapter Twenty
Mitch walked out of the bathroom and flicked off the light. It was just after nine o’clock. A little more than twelve hours since he had last seen Sara. He had stopped calling her phone hours ago. It was clear she wasn’t going to answer. Twelve hours he mused. It seemed like it had been weeks since he last held her.
He was in the bedroom and changing into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt when he heard the front door. He darted out of the room and headed to the entryway. He froze still in his tracks.
Sara was saying goodnight to Patrick and giving him a hug when they heard him run in the room. Pulling away from Patrick’s embrace, she turned to see Mitch. The agony on his face was too painful for her to see.
She turned away. “Thank you for driving me home, Patrick.”
Mitch watched enraged as Patrick gently placed a kiss to her forehead. The bastard better get his hands off of her!
“Remember, I’m just a call away if you need me.” Patrick replied.
“Thank you.” She waited while he left and then closed the door and locked it.
Her back was still to Mitch. Was she afraid to turn back and face him? He loved her so much. It couldn’t truly be over. She was the best part of who he was.
He noticed her clothes on the hall table. The borrowed clothes on her body. Her freshly washed hair. Oh dear God. His heart shattered. She had slept with him. In her grief of his betrayal, she had turned to another man. He wanted to scream at the anguish he felt at the thought of another man touching her.
It was then that Sara slowly turned to face him. “Hello.” She didn’t know what else to say. “I…can we sit down and talk?”
This was it. She was asking him to leave. She was going to tell him they had no future together.
Suddenly, he didn’t care if she had turned to Patrick. All he cared about was there future. If she had slept with Patrick, it was only because she was hurt. Not because she loved him or wanted him. He would spend the rest of his life remembering that and helping her forget this horrible day ever happened if she would just hear him out and let him stay. Let him love her.
He walked hesitantly to the couch. She sat in the chair across from him. He wished she had sat somewhere he could be nearer to her. But he couldn’t push her. He was about to speak when he heard her strangled voice.
She cleared her throat and took a drink of water from the bottle that had been sitting on the coffee table. “I’m glad you’re here. I was hoping that…I need to explain something to you, Mitch. I don’t know if you’ll understand but I…I need you to hear me out. When I’m done, I’ll listen to anything you have to say.”
His hopes lifted a bit at her statement. She was glad he was here, and she was going to listen to what he had to say. “Okay, honey.”
She bit down on her lower lip and took a huge breath. “Mitch, I have never felt pain like that before. I died. I felt myself dying when I walked in and found you like that.” She held up her hand. “No, please. I promise to listen to you, just let me get this out. My thoughts are so muddled right now that if I don’t just let them flow out, I’m afraid I won’t say everything I need to.”
Mitch could see how serious she was and took a calming breath before nodding his agreement.
“Thank you. I…I heard everything you said at the office. And I believe that you love me. I know you didn’t want to hurt me. Oh, Mitch. This is so hard. I…I was hysterical when I left. I must have fainted or something. I don’t know because when I woke up, Patrick was carrying me. He took me back to his place.”
I don’t want to hear this. He bit his tongue and tried to hide the anger boiling below the surface.
Sara hesitated for just a moment before continuing, “He laid me down in bed and…”
“Stop!” Mitch cursed himself for the way he had just screamed at her. She hurt when it had happened. She never would have been there if it wasn’t for that damn bitch Claudia. Getting up from the couch, he went to his knees in front of her and took her hands. “Baby, please. I can explain, just don’t make me listen to this.” He dropped his head in her lap and held onto her.
Sara was startled at first by his emotional response. Where had it come from? She went through what she had told him, trying to see what had set him off. She thought about that when she realized what he had suspected.
“Mitch, do you think I slept with Patrick?” Her hand had unconsciously been rubbing the back of his neck.
His grip tightened on her. “I don’t care. Let’s just not talk about it, please.” He looked up at her now. “You were hurt. You weren’t thinking clearly.”
“Mitch, I was hurt but I…”
“No.” He abruptly got up from her and paced the room. “Honey, I won’t blame you. None of this was your fault. I just wish you had listened to me before you left the office.”
She listened to the distress in his voice. No matter what he had done, she didn’t want to cause him the same pain he had caused her. She knew how bad it hurt.
“Mitch, I couldn’t stay. I needed time away from you. Time to think.”
“Time with Patrick?” He snapped back at her.
The cutting words sounded cold and unfeeling. How could he talk to her like that after what he had done?
It made her angry. “Look.” She stood up now. Walking directly toward him, she pointed a finger in his face. “You did this, not me. You told me you loved me, but you slept with her, anyway. You have no idea how that felt. The pain of it was the most horrific thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. What right do you have to judge me when you’re the one who didn’t care about me enough to remain faithful after only a couple of weeks?” she shouted at him, her voice trembling.
“I wasn’t, damn it. God, why won’t you listen to me? I’m trying to be understanding, but you can’t expect me to hear this!”
“You’re trying to be understanding? Well, how incredibly generous of you.” She stormed out of the room.
“Sara, honey, wait. I’m sorry. This is all coming out wrong. Please, stay and talk to me.”
She stopped for a moment and with her back still facing him she said, “Give me a couple of minutes. I need some aspirin and water. I’ll be back.” She walked out of the room.
He stood there and watched her leave. What the hell was wrong with him? She didn’t know he hadn’t cheated. When she went to Patrick’s she had assumed that Mitch didn’t love her enough to not sleep around on her. If he had walked in and found her just the same way, he would have assumed the same thing she had.
He had to calm down. If he didn’t, they would never be able to work things out. He turned to face the window. Looking out, he thought of how hard it would be for him to forget that she had slept with Patrick. But he knew, he didn’t have a choice. He loved her, more than anything or anyone in the entire world, and none of this was her fault.
“What’s this?” Sara demanded. “Why were you at the hospital? And what is this stuff they found, Diphenhydramine HCL?” She slowly sounded out the word.
Mitch watched her. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that he had forgotten
he left the lab report on the fridge. “Honey. Can we sit down?”
She sat in the chair and waited, her hands shaking. “What is it? Are you sick?” She wiped her tears, despite how many kept continuing to fall freely.
“What? No, honey.” He came to her, kneeling in front of her again. He framed her face with his hands and hated the feel of her trembling against his touch. “I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong with me. I promise.”
“Then what is this? And why does it say,” she looked back down at the paper again, “patient had potentially dangerous levels in blood?”
“Sara, I knew that there was something wrong this morning. I was groggy, and I couldn’t comprehend what in the hell had happened. I had no memory of how I woke up the way I did.” He brushed his hands through the back of her hair and massaged her neck. “Shh. Don’t cry, honey. Let me explain. I never would have, never could have cheated on you. I love you too much to ever do that to either of us.”
Mitch took a breath before continuing, “After you left, some revelations came to light. Long story short, Claudia has done some very bad things to many people that we work with. Donna being one of them. She was used to Claudia’s manipulations, she was able to put some things together, and after having some blood work drawn up, it was determined that she put two sleeping pills in my coffee last night. The last thing I remember was eating the sandwich you brought for me. I never touched her, honey. I swear to you. Look at the report. It would have been virtually impossible for me to do anything. I was out cold.”
“But why? Why would anyone?” She asked.
“Because she’s a sick and twisted person. I want you to know that I pressed charges. They found the package from the pills in her purse, and she was arrested earlier today for drugging me, as well as blackmail, but that’s another story for another time.” He rubbed his hands up and down her arms, trying to chase her chills away.
“So you never? Oh, God, Mitch.” She flew into his arms and held on. “I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you.” She drew back and looked at him. “I should have trusted you. I spent all day hurting so badly. And you probably have been miserable, and I was with Patrick when I should have been with you.” She didn’t miss the clench in his jaw that time. He still thought she had turned to Patrick. “Mitch, I need to explain about Patrick.”
Sudden Devotion Page 19