“How’d it go?” Carlo asks bringing me out of my Daws induced haze.
“It went good. Mickey seems real nice. I think it’s going to work out.”
“Good. You let me know if anyone gives you a hard time, okay? I wish you could hold out for something else.”
This is a conversation Carlo and I have had repeatedly since Jenny told him where she found me a job. To say he isn't thrilled is an understatement.
“I know how you feel, Carlo. You and your family have been so great to me, but I’m almost out of money and I need a job now.”
“I can lend you money until you get something a little more practical," he pleads.
“I know, but I need to work. I need to do this.” No one can possibly understand the amount of fear I have being dependent on another person. I need to save money so that if Ari and I need to run, we can.
“I don’t like it.”
“Noted,” I smile at him trying to lighten the mood. “Did you hear that Ari made the soccer team?”
“Of course, I heard. Gino wouldn’t shut up about how amazing she is. Kind of young for a crush, but I swear that boy is in love.”
I smile at Carlo. The way Gino and Ari have gotten close is the best surprise. I never would expect young kids to be friends the way these two are, but maybe they hit it off so well because they recognize something in each other. Even though Gino has this huge family, he still lost both of his parents.
We finish the drive and pick up the kids from the school. As Ari hops into the car I am excited to share my news, “Ari, I got the job. I start work tomorrow.”
“You did! I’m so happy for you, Mom.” She smiles at me and I return her smile. She’s gotten so good at calling me mom. Ari and I have had a lot of conversations about how fast we’ll need to leave if anyone finds out who we really are. Not only do I need to worry about Rich finding us, but I’m pretty sure that if he doesn’t kill me, I’ll be charged with kidnapping, she will be back with him, and I won't be able to save her. At least here in the Pennsylvania foothills, I’m states away from him. Looking back, I think how lucky I was that he never found me when I was at Marcella’s. If I had stayed there with Marcella and continued working, I never would have been able to enroll her in school without him finding us.
Ari has been learning some things from Angie in the kitchen. It’s fun for me to watch, and Angie is always eager to teach. Tonight, the two dismissed me from the kitchen, telling me to relax. We have a nice dinner and after-wards Gino plays ball while we clean up. Ari rushes to help clear, so that she can go out and play. This is a typical evening for us. Sometimes, some of Angie's kids join us, but most nights have this perfect simplicity.
I make a quick call to Jenny to let her know that I am taking the job and I thank her. Carlo is going to drop me off after we take the kids to school, and Jenny is going to pick me up when she is done with her shift. It seems we have the logistics worked out.
After tucking Ari in, I take a quick shower, not bothering to dry my hair. I throw on an oversized t-shirt and settle in for bed. This is the time of every day I hate. The time when thoughts of Rich seize me and fear catapults through my body. No matter how much I try, thoughts of his hands squeezing around my neck, vile words coming from his mouth and his disgusting dick jamming into my body plague me. I brace myself waiting for the panic to overtake me as my eyes grow heavy.
Tonight, something is different. The painful memories don’t grab me, instead, a pair of dark brown eyes stare at me with heat and desire. They capture my dreams, holding me there until morning, finally giving me the sleep I need.
*
Carlo drops me off at the shop and it’s early. I can tell that most of the guys are not here yet. The parking lot is pretty vacant except for a few motorcycles and some trucks with Dray’s Customs painted on the side. The door to one of the bays is open so I walk in. I spot myself in the reflection of the second bay’s glass doors. My brown hair is lackluster, making my eyes seem dull. I twiddle a piece between my fingers. Oh how, I miss the blonde. I wasn’t sure what to wear to a motorcycle shop so I decided casual is best and went with jeans and a t-shirt. Nothing fancy but a part of me would have liked to wear something nice for Daws. What an odd thought. It’s not like me to care if a man notices me, but after the first full night’s rest in God only knows how long, I find myself letting my guard down a little and giving myself permission to think about him.
“You gonna stare at yourself all day? Or are you going to come on in?” That voice, it’s so deep with the right amount of rasp. My head turns to where the sound came from, and there he is. Dark wash jeans hang off his hips. A gray long john shirt covers his arms, and the vest that I saw yesterday hugs his chest. Its black leather with a black and white insignia over the back. Just about every man I’ve seen here is wearing one of these. I realize I just traded staring at myself for staring at him.
“Sorry. Morning. Guess I’ll go get started.” I walk into the office and let out a sigh with my back turned away from him. What am I doing staring like that? It’s not like me at all.
I open the file cabinets to get an idea of the system that is in place, and I am pleased to find that Mickey’s daughter was extremely organized. I find a huge stack of orders on the corner of the desk and start to shuffle through them, trying to decipher what has been ordered and what still needs to be. I create separate stacks for what I think seems to be the most pressing and I turn on the computer. It’s below the desk and I reach down to power it on. When I raise back up in my seat, Daws is standing in the doorway watching me.
“I’m heading to the clubhouse to get some coffee. Do you want some?”
“I...I can go with you,” I stutter, mostly because of the effect his voice has on me. A look of anger flashes on his face.
“You’re not going in the clubhouse, understood?” The angry tone causes me to flinch. I don’t mean to, but I cower away. It’s a natural reflex for me to coil back waiting for the sting of a hit that normally follows.
Chapter 5
Daws
What the hell did I just do?
I got here earlier than any of my brothers this morning, so that I could be here to look out for her. Not that my brothers would hurt her, but the thought of any of them hitting on her makes me crazy. After she left last night, all I could think of was the way she stared me down, so curious. There was something else, and for a minute it felt like I was the first man she ever looked at. Like her eyes were seeing a man for the first time. Just that thought makes my dick twitch. I wanted to take her in my arms. I wanted to take so much from her. I thought about what her body would be like, I can tell under her loose t-shirt that her breasts would be fucking perfect.
The thought of taking her body makes me angry. She doesn’t owe me anything. No, this is different. I want her to like me. I want that look on her face to stay. I want her to continue to look at me like I’m the only man she sees. That thought alone makes me crazed.
Now she is cowering away from me like I would hurt her. I couldn’t hurt her. Every instinct in my body wants to protect her; to take care of her. There is something about the look in her eyes that calls to every part of me.
“Shit, I’m sorry that didn’t come out right. I just don't want you to be in there with the brothers.”
Truth is, I know that Patrick has some club slut passed out naked next to the pool table, and Jarrod is half naked on a sofa. I’ll be damned if I’ll let her walk in on that shit.
“I didn’t mean to yell at you. Dammit, I’m not good at this. Look, let me just get you coffee? You want cream and sugar?”
She stops cowering and I see her flex her fist open and closed. She lets out a deep breath as if she’s been holding it, “Cream is fine, thank you.” I nod and walk away.
Someone’s hurt her. I’m not sure how I know, but I know. I want to punch something. The thought of her being hurt and me not being there makes my blood boil. How can I even be thinking this? I was just messed up over
Maura, but the way I just felt when I saw the panic on Aubrey's face makes every thought of Maura fleeting.
God, her eyes. There is innocence and strength hiding there... and someone hurt her. I slam the cupboard door grabbing two coffee cups. I’m going to find out who hurt her and I’m going to make them pay. I need to learn to control my temper around her. I can tell after the way she flinched that she needs a gentle hand.
I walk back into the shop purposefully being loud so that she knows I’m coming. I hear a man's voice as I approach the office and I’m ready to freak the fuck out. Then I let out a breath releasing my anger when I make out his Irish accent and hear Mickey going over who all the different shops are that we order from. I walk in and set down her coffee then turn around without saying a word. Total dick move. Truth is, I didn't want to get into anything with Mickey. Ever since shit went down with his daughter Maura, he has been riding me, trying to get a rise, so walking away was the best thing I could do.
I spend the morning finishing the fender I’ve been working on trying to stay busy. I’ve left her alone, but made sure that I’ve kept an eye on her. My stomach growls reminding me I need to eat, bringing me to the realization that she has been in there all day without food. I make my way over to the partially closed door and give a small knock.
Her hair is tied up exposing her long beautiful neck and her high cheekbones. Jesus, she is beautiful. She looks at me, and for a second, I could swear I see a blush come over her cheeks. I wonder what she’s thinking.
“Did you eat? I didn’t see you leave,” I ask.
“Oh, no. But I’m okay. I don’t have a car and I guess I just was so excited about working that I forgot to pack something. The day is almost over, so I’ll just eat when I get home. Besides, I’ve been so busy.”
“You don’t have a car?”
“No.”
Well, that explains why Carlo drove her. “Do you have a license?” I already know that all she gave us was a state ID.
She shakes her head, “I don’t know how to drive.”
“How is it that no one has taught you? I’ll tell you what, why don’t you let me teach you how to drive, that way if you need to get lunch you can.”
“That’s very kind of you, but I don’t have a car so there’s not really a point in me learning. Besides, I can pack something.” This isn’t going the way I want it to.
“Well, what are you going to do when we send you to pick up orders from the parts store?” They usually drop parts off but she doesn’t need to know that.
“Oh. Umm...no one told me driving was part of the job.” She looks nervous like she thinks this might be a make or break for the job.
“Don’t worry about it. I can teach you. How about after work?” The thought of spending time with her excites me more than any club slut ever could.
“Ari is starting soccer soon and we have dinner, so I’m not sure.” Oh, shit. She has a kid.
“Ari?” I ask hoping I’m wrong.
“Ari’s my daughter. She’s ten.” Jesus Christ! A ten year old. She doesn’t look old enough to have a ten year old.
“Ten? How old are you?”
“Umm….twenty-five.”
“Are you asking or telling?” I squint my eyes just a little at her. Something about this is off. There is no way that she is three years older than me.
“What’s up with her dad? It’s not Carlo, is it?” I’ll kill Carlo if he knocked her up. She’s obviously lying about her age so that guido better not be responsible.
“Carlo?” She looks at me confused.
“I saw him drop you off today, and he was waiting for you yesterday.” I pray she is not with him. This whole conversation is turning my stomach into knots, a feeling I don't quite understand.
“Oh no, it’s not like that. Carlo is just a friend. I live with his mom. She's helping me out, so Carlo's just looking out for me.”
“What about the dad?”
“Wow. What’s with all the questions?” she finally asks. I can tell she is getting anxious with me prying. I decide to let up for now.
“I’ll tell you what, how about I drive you home some nights and we can spend fifteen minutes a night practicing. You can spare fifteen minutes, can’t you?”
“Jenny was going to pick me up….”
I cut her off and don’t let her finish. I slide the bar across my phone and tell Siri to call Jenny. She answers right away.
“Jenny, it’s Daws. I’m going to take Aubrey home.”
“Daws, she’s not Maura. You better not be trying to fuck her. She can’t handle your shit.”
She just pissed me off. I realize she isn't Maura and I’m realizing it, more by the second that maybe everything Maura had been telling me about why I wanted her was right. I take a deep breath remembering that I need to control my temper around Aubrey.
“Relax Jenny. I’m going to teach her how to drive, so she can pick up orders. Thought it would be easier for you too, and I need to head into town most days anyways.”
“Daws, that would save me so much time, I appreciate it.” I hang the phone up not bothering with goodbye.
“You know her?”
“Yeah, she’s friends with…” I stop talking not really wanting to talk with Aubrey about Maura. Maura has found someone and the reality is that we were only ever friends.
“What were you going to say?” she questions me.
“It’s not important, but Jenny’s good people, a little wild.”
“That makes me feel a little better about being in a car with you.” She brings her hands up over her mouth, “Oh my gosh, I just said that part out loud didn’t I?” She looks embarrassed. I’m secretly thrilled that I have an effect on her.
“I’ll wrap up what I’m doing, and we can get an early start since you’ve got to be starving.” I don’t give her any more time to think about if she should come with me or not. I turn and walk away, shaking my head. How is it that this woman that is not being one hundred percent honest with me is getting to me? I should be concerned over the fact that I can tell she is hiding things, but I’m not. If anything it makes me want her to be able to open up and trust me. I’m going to teach her to drive. I’m going to spend time with her, and one day, hopefully, she will trust me enough to be open with me about her secrets.
Chapter 6
Aubrey
I finish entering a stack of receipts into the computer. What a day today has been. It started with Daws bringing me coffee and me having a terrible reaction that I am sure he picked up on. I was so ashamed. I should be able to hear a man raise his voice without coiling in on myself, but that is exactly what I did. I think I disgusted him so much that he stayed away, because he dropped off my coffee and not one word from him. Then, he came in worried about me being hungry. He was concerned and it made me want to open up. A part of me wanted to tell him that a few hours was nothing, that I’ve gone much longer. We walk outside of the shop and he opens a garage door that is separate from the bay doors of the shop.
“Wait here.”
I do as I am instructed and I stand off to the side. An older black car pulls out next to me. It looks vintage, but I don’t know much about cars. Daws is behind the wheel and my eyes grow wide, everything about this man screams sexy and dangerous including his car.
“Get in. Shit. No. Hold on,” he says and gets out of the car, while leaving it running. He opens the passenger door for me. I slide on to the black leather seat feeling small in this massive car. Daws grabs the seat belt and pulls it over my shoulder. His body is close to mine, and for the first time in my life, I feel my body react. My nipples perk up with his proximity, surprising me. I breathe him in, no that’s not, right I inhale him, filling my lungs with the smell of leather and hard work. It’s intoxicating. He clicks the seat belt into place and just like that he is gone, walking back around the car.
I’m shocked by my body's reaction to him. I’ve never felt an involuntary physical reaction before. Sure, I think guys ar
e cute, but I have pretty much thought that Rich took that from me too. What is it about Daws that makes me feel so at ease?
“Wow, your car is really nice,” I say trying to lighten the mood.
“She’s a ‘69 Dodge Charger 440 Hemi. I restored her a few years ago. Don’t get to drive her as much as I’d like. I usually ride.”
“She?” I say in a joking way. “How am I not surprised your car is a girl?”
He flashes me a smile. A dimple appears on his cheek. His lips are so full, perfect. A quick thought flashes through my mind about what it would be like to feel his lips against mine. What is happening to me that he is making me think these things?
We pull into a lot behind an abandoned school.
“Okay, come here,” Daws says and scoots the bench seat far enough back, opens his legs and asks me to sit in between them. I’m nervous and not sure if I can handle being that close to him. You can do this. Don’t let your fear rule you. I take a few deep breaths and I climb over his thigh placing myself between his legs. He surrounds me, but leaves space between our bodies like he knows he needs to give me some distance. Distance that I couldn’t be more grateful for because although sitting in between his legs and not having an attack is a feat in itself for me, I’m not sure if I can handle much more.
I look at the pedals, I’m confused why there are three. As if he can sense my confusion, Daws goes into an explanation.
“This is a manual, which means you need to manually switch gears. There are three pedals; your brake, gas and clutch. Put you right foot on the brake.” He grabs my left leg and lifts it placing it over another pedal. “This is the clutch.” He takes my right hand and places it on top of the stick in the middle. His hand is calloused and much larger than mine. His pinky finger slightly grazes over my hand. It’s the softest touch, yet somehow holds more intimacy than me sitting between his legs. “This is your stick, it’s what you’ll use to change gears.”
Fight You Page 4