I walked to the living room doorway and cast pointed glances at the urban leather couches, Murano art glass sculptures placed around the room for color, the huge flat-screen TV that could easily be pulled over by a baby learning to walk. The glossy black glass coffee table had sharp corners that could poke little eyes. The balcony off the living room had wrought iron bars that suddenly seemed too far apart to keep a baby from toppling three floors down. Ryan had style, that was certain, but it was a bachelor’s style.
Ryan nodded as his eyes traveled the room with mine. “I see your point. What do you want to do?”
“Maybe it’s time we bought a house. We won’t have enough room to keep everyone in here.”
“Maybe. Boy, having a new kid changes a lot, doesn’t it?” I had to smile. He sounded a lot like Benjie.
“Sure does, and not just for us. Benjie might have a hard time leaving this place, too. More rug being yanked out from under his feet.”
“He’ll come around. Kids are resilient.”
I nodded, thinking back to when I told him the exact same thing during the custody battle he and Nancy had waged against each other. Thankfully, Ryan won, and our Benjie was safe with us, but Nancy was still a thorn in our sides, and I had no doubt when she spoke to him on the phone or took him for the occasional afternoon, she continued to fill his little head with poison. I pitied Benjie, I really did. How must he feel, listening to that, being placed squarely in the middle of a very adult tug-of-war and forced to question his loyalties? Poor kid.
“I need to call the doctor’s office back. They’re scheduling us for a doctor’s appointment to start the whole prenatal thing. Why don’t you call a realtor and see what’s out there?”
We retreated to make our phone calls and finished up at approximately the same time.
“Friday at eleven-thirty for my first prenatal appointment. They’ll verify the pregnancy and get me started on prenatal vitamins and whatever else they do. Blood work, I suppose. Are you able to come?”
“No, I have to work until three. But I did get us an appointment with a realtor today at one. Can you make it?” It was Saturday, so it was fine.
“That was fast. Geesh, what is it, double commission month?”
“This guy’s very persuasive. I don’t really even know what happened.” Ryan looked a bit bewildered and it made me smile.
“It’s fine. We don’t have a lot of time before the baby comes to look around and get moved in. It’s probably good if things are moving along quickly. But let’s make sure we get Benjie involved in making any decisions, ok?”
“Ok. Well, I’m going to go in and talk to him.” He gave me leisurely kiss and said, “Why don’t you relax?”
It sounded like a plan, and I decided to call my mom while I was waiting for Ryan and Benjie to finish up their guy-talk. I’d been so focused on making sure Benjie was ok, I’d forgotten to call my family and tell them the happy news.
She answered on the second ring, sounding tired.
“Hey, Mom, it’s me. Are you ok?”
“I’m fine. I was napping,” she said. “How are you, sweetie?”
“Pregnant. Well, we think so, anyway. The stick had two blue lines.” I beamed into the phone and I was sure she could hear me smile.
I heard her smile, too. “Oh, how absolutely perfect! I’m so happy for you! I bet Ryan and Benjie are thrilled.”
“Well, Ryan is, but Benjie, not so much.”
“Oh, a little jealousy, you think?”
“A lot. He told me he hated me.”
“He doesn’t hate you. I’m sure of it. He’ll get over it. It’s just a lot to take in. Just be there for him, and he’ll see there’s nothing to worry about.”
“I hope you’re right. We’re going house-shopping today. You want to come?”
“Sure, but I’m moving a little slow this morning. When should I come over?”
“We have to meet with the realtor at one, so how about noon? I can make you some lunch.”
She agreed and we hung up. My next phone call, as was the proper order of these things, was to Isamu, my father for all intents and purposes.
“Daughter, how are you? I have missed you. Things are well with you and your family?”
“Just fine. And guess what?”
“What, Daughter?”
“Our family is increasing by one. We’re having a baby.”
“Congratulations! How wonderful. I expect him to be just as amazing as his mother.”
“Oh, Isamu. I hope he’s just like his father. But Benjie’s pretty upset.” I explained how he was acting and Isamu chuckled knowingly.
“Do not worry. He will learn in time that giving love away makes it grow, not shrink. He is a smart boy. He will be fine.”
“I hope you’re right.” It seemed everyone thought it was just a passing phase, and I was reassured by that. He’d adjust in time, and everything would be back to normal.
We said good-bye and I got ready for our date with the realtor. Mom arrived promptly at noon, looking slightly green around the gills.
“God, Mom, are you still feeling sick? Maybe you should go to the doctor.”
“No, I have a very sensitive stomach, that’s all. I think I’m lactose intolerant, but that ice cream I had yesterday was so worth it! Double chocolate fudge chunk.”
“Yeah, totally worth it.” We smiled at each other. We both loved chocolate.
Ryan and Benjie came out of Benjie’s room after their talk. It looked like it had gone well. At least they were speaking to each other, and Benjie wasn’t giving me dirty looks anymore. He was happy to see his Grammy, too, even with her slightly green pallor, but he asked her, rather worriedly, “Are you pregnant, too?”
Mom laughed. “No, Benjie, I’m not pregnant. Why do you ask?”
“Cuz you got ‘gestion and so did Catie and she’s got a baby in her belly now.”
“Indigestion doesn’t necessarily mean that a woman is pregnant,” she explained patiently.
“Oh, so why do you got it?” he asked seriously.
“I’m just a little under the weather. Don’t you worry about me, ok?” She smiled and gave him a big hug. “Now, who’s for lunch? I brought some dessert.”
“Nothing with dairy, right?” I quipped and she laughed.
“Fruit salad. I’m choosing my battles.”
I dished up the soup and sandwiches I had thrown together and we ate at the kitchen table. Although I had eaten with my family many times since Mom had come back into my life, this meal, simple as it was, felt more special than anything else we had ever shared. After all, I had the newest member of our family snuggled inside my womb, and it was almost as if the familial bond we shared with each other was amplified by the promise that was to come. It was stunning.
After lunch, we headed to Amherst Realty and met with Joshua Duggan, the realtor Ryan had contacted. He was a trim man in his late twenties with flaming red hair, green eyes and a smattering of freckles on his milky-pale face. He was a firecracker and a real go-getter, as was evidenced by the stack of listing sheets in his hand and speed with which he seemed to do everything.
“So, you’re shopping for a bigger place? No problem. I have a ton of great houses right here.” He held the listings aloft and shook them. “We’ll find you something. Let’s go. Lots to do.”
I smiled. He even talked fast. He shepherded us at a brisk pace to his cubicle. He sat us down and arranged for coffee and water all around, in whirlwind fashion. Watching him, I knew exactly how Benjie would be in about twenty years. It tired me out just to think about it.
“So, you still want to live in Pittston?” he asked. We nodded. “And you’re looking for three bedrooms?”
“Four, I think,” I said and Ryan nodded. We had always wanted a home gym. With four bedrooms, we could have that.
“Oh, well, here we are. The perfect house.” He passed over the listing sheet and I gasped. It was beautiful, and it may have been perfect, but it was on the
same street as Gran’s house. I shook my head quickly and thrust the paper back at him.
“Uh, do you have anything else? Or can we maybe move the house?” I gulped.
“No, afraid not. Here, look through this stack. I had them all separated out by number of bedrooms.”
Ryan and I huddled together, eliminating a few houses right off, placing the others in a stack to possibly look at later. I made sure to show Benjie the sheets containing the houses we liked, and I was surprised to see a smile cross his face over one or two of them. I was encouraged by this little display of enthusiasm, so I made sure to show Ryan which ones Benjie liked and make a big fuss over them. The one Benjie seemed to like best was the one with the huge fenced-in, deeply shaded back yard. It would be perfect for running and playing, something Benjie didn’t have access to at our third floor urban apartment.
We toured a few homes that looked good on paper, but we didn’t really like any of them. I felt like we’d landed smack in the middle of a fairy tale. We were acting like the three bears, rejecting houses in need of too many repairs, or homes way too big or small or out of our estimated price range. We were all exhausted the time we’d toured four, but I wanted to look at one more.
“Let’s go look at this one, ok?” I asked Ryan, catching his eye and holding up the listing Benjie seemed to like best. He nodded in understanding and we set out with Mom, Benjie and the realtor in tow.
We all loved it immediately. Mom and I wandered through the open floor plan downstairs, admiring the lovely hardwood flooring, the granite countertops in the kitchen, the custom walnut cabinets and stainless appliances. There was an adorable little breakfast nook off the kitchen, and we sat down in there together, admiring the view of the backyard. There was even a tree worthy of a swing or a tree house, something Benjie would love. It was amazing, and even though I’d never considered owning a home, I was hit by an intense feeling of wistful longing. Simply put, this house felt like home.
Ryan and Benjie and Joshua clumped up the wide wooden stairs to check out the bedrooms, all on the same floor, which we also liked. It was perfect, if slightly more than we wanted to spend.
Mom and I toured the upstairs next, exclaiming over the generous size of each of the four bedrooms, the little study and the master bedroom with an en suite bath. The house was perfect, and Benjie liked it, which made it even better. His enthusiasm was heartwarming and healing, and I had an idea that might seal the deal on his happiness.
“Well, what do you think?” I asked Ryan when he cornered me in one of the bedrooms for a quick kiss.
“I think it’s exactly what we need, but I’m a bit worried. It’s an awful big commitment.”
“Yeah, but a necessary one. We have a new addition on the way and our apartment just isn’t going to work.” I patted my stomach and looked at him impishly.
“You’re right. I know it. It’s just a huge step. Well, let’s go find the realtor before I think about this too much.”
He was in the kitchen with Mom, animatedly discussing taxes, square footage and decorators who could ‘turn the house into a showplace.’
Ryan and I grinned at each other and took a deep breath. “Josh, we really like it,” Ryan said. “What do we do now?”
“You’ll want to call your bank as soon as possible to see about getting a loan. As soon as you have a commitment letter from the bank, we can place an offer.”
Joshua informed us that there was another offer on the house, and we’d have to move fast if we wanted a chance on it. We put our heads together, mumbling about bank accounts and cutting down on coffee and Thai dinners out and ditching as many non-essential bills as we could. It would be the only way we’d even have a chance at getting the house. We were sadly unprepared for buying a home, and I wondered if we’d actually be able to do it. I glanced around worriedly. It seemed my dream would be over before it even began.
Mom walked over to our little huddle and gave me a thoughtful smile. “Kids, I’d like to help you. I realize you weren’t planning on making such a big decision so quickly, and I know you guys probably don’t have a lot saved toward a down-payment.”
She was right. After all, our savings account was a good start, but not nearly enough to fund something of this magnitude. This purchase would drain it and then some. She’d given us back our thousand we’d loaned her for her deposit, with an extra two hundred thrown in ‘for interest’, but even with that, we didn’t have much disposable income.
“Maria, that’s very generous of you, but I couldn’t—” Ryan began.
“Ryan, I mean it. I’ve been single all my life and I’ve worked since I was twenty years old. You’re my family, the only family I have. Who else am I going to spend my money on? I want to help you. I won’t take no for an answer. Besides, I came into some money recently from a good investment I made, so go ahead and put in an offer on the house. I’ll be more than happy to give you the money down and more, if needed.”
“Oh, Mom! Thank you!” I shrieked happily, thinking about how Gran had all but accused Maria of being an opportunistic gold-digger. Well, I had solid proof she was wrong, and I took perverse satisfaction in that.
We walked downstairs and Mom took Benjie outside to explore the deep back yard and that awesome tree. Joshua got a call so he pulled out his cell phone and stepped into the living room, leaving me and Ryan alone in the kitchen. We looked around together, and I felt awed that such a place, so quickly, could be our own. It was a bit surreal.
I looked up at Ryan. “Do you really want to do this? It’s happening really, really fast.”
“I’m worried about accepting that money from Maria. I’m just not sure it’s the right thing to do.”
“You heard her. She said she wouldn’t take no for an answer. And we can save to pay her back. I don’t care if she came into some money, as she put it. I wouldn’t feel right unless we paid her back. So, really, what do you think?”
“I’m ready if you are, honey. I know this is important to you.”
“Well, yeah, but I still worry that it might be moving too quickly for Benjie.”
“When we had our talk at home, he promised to give this a try and to tell us if he’s uncomfortable about anything. I told him we’d take all the time we needed to make it easy on him. He’s a good kid. I think he’ll be fine.”
Joshua poked his head into the kitchen. “Are you guys ready? I have to head back to the office, so I’ve got to lock up here and get going.”
“Sure, but give us one more minute, ok?” I asked.
He nodded and left the room again. It was time to mention the idea I had to Ryan to see if he’d be ok with it.
“Ryan, how do you feel about dogs?”
“Excuse me?”
“Benjie needs a puppy. We’ll have the room for one, and I think it’s important for him to have something all his own.”
He thought for a moment and nodded. “Jesus. A new baby, a new house and a new puppy. I’m starting to think we’re moving too fast for me.” He chuckled. “Ok, but after we move in and get settled, ok?”
“Deal.”
“Happy, Mrs. Ashford?”
“You have no idea.”
“Yes, I do. I feel the same way.” He pulled me close and held me tight. I cuddled into his warm bulk and sighed, sheer happiness bubbling up inside me, making me feel slightly giddy.
Until I heard the scream that came from the back yard.
Chapter 12
Ryan and I raced toward the rear of the house and flew out the sliding glass door that led to the back yard. Mom was in a heap on the ground, and Benjie stood over her with a terrified look on his face.
“Daddy, Catie, come quick!” he screamed.
We ran to them as fast as we could and crouched down next to Mom. Her eyes were closed, her breath shallow. She appeared to be unconscious.
I leaned in and listened to her heart. It was faint, but it was beating. What had happened to her? What the hell was going on? This couldn’t be
lactose intolerance still, could it? A feeling of foreboding was building inside me, and I knelt down at Mom’s head and stroked her hair back from her face with one hand, and checked the pulse at her wrist with the other.
Ryan’s cell was already in his hand and he dialed 911 without looking away from my mom’s pale, still face. “We need an ambulance at—shit, what’s the address here?”
I glanced at the listing sheet crumpled on the ground. “818 Larchmont.”
“46-year-old unconscious woman. She just fainted here. Has had a recent history of vomiting, dizziness, fatigue. Stated she’s lactose-intolerant. Off-duty Lieutenant Ryan Ashford, Pittston Police Department, on scene.”
He listened for a minute. “No, I don’t know about any other preexisting medical conditions. Do you?” he asked me.
I shook my head. Mom’s eyelids fluttered and she moaned a bit, then opened her eyes and squinted at the bright sun. Ryan bent down and shaded her eyes with his hand and frowned down at her. She shifted and made as if to rise, so he helped her up into a sitting position and sat down behind her so she could lean into him.
She looked around at us with a sheepish smile. ”I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened.”
“Grammy, what’s the matter? You scared me,” Benjie said, his little face all scrunched up with childish worry.
“I’m sorry I scared you, Benjie. There’s nothing you need to worry about, my darling. I’m fine. Just a bit under the weather. Come here.” She opened her arms and gathered him close, petting his little back and brushing a gentle kiss on his head.
“Ok. I’m gonna go over there and look in that hole,” he said, scampering away, relieved now that his grandmother seemed to be ok. I, however, was not convinced. She looked awful.
“Mom, what is going on? Are you sick?” I asked, accusation ringing in my voice. Ryan shot me a warning glance, but I ignored him. Now that she was upright and conscious, I had to find out what the hell was going on. I had a feeling she was holding back on me. The trepidation inside me felt as though it was ready to burst through my skin and the hairs on the back of my neck were standing straight up.
Holding On (Hooking Up) Page 8