by M. S. Parker
As always, Cody knew just what to do because he chose that moment to sling an arm around my neck, hugging me in close. “She’s a doll. I couldn’t have picked a better sister-in-law if I’d tried. Danique, this is Gabriella. Gabs, this is Danique—or Dani. She doesn’t care. Take your pick.” He gave me a smacking kiss on the lips and then moved off into the throng of kids. “So…who’s first? Do I get to play makeover king on any of you or are you all just stunningly perfect as always?”
A group of kids rushed him and he laughed, a genuine, heartfelt laugh that I'd never heard him make around his family, at least not his mother and step-father.
“You look kind of lost,” Danique said as she stepped up next to me.
“I…um…well, I feel lost.”
Flynn moved between us, pausing just long enough to grab the bag I was still holding. “Just keep the kids occupied and moving. When I call for somebody, make sure they get to me. If the girls need help with hair or picking out clothes, knock yourself out.”
He was gone in the next moment and I flung up my hands in frustration. “Occupied and moving? Get them to him? I don’t even know what I’m doing!”
Danique laughed and moved over, hooking her arm through mine. “Come on. The older kids always go first and they help with the younger kids, so we’ve got a bit before the uphill portion of the event begins. Let me show you around and I’ll give you the short version of what we're doing here.”
***
We ended up on the second floor, outside what was probably the biggest room in the two-story remodeled house. We were somewhere in Brooklyn, that much I could tell, but exactly where, I wasn’t sure. I'd never spent much time in Brooklyn before.
The house was older and had received a lot of TLC, but it needed a lot more. It was clean, though, and well-loved. The kids in it were also clean, and if they’d let her, I could tell Danique would give them all the love they could handle.
But too many of them didn’t trust anybody. I could see it in their eyes.
“So, Flynn comes in, does shots of these kids once a year and you all get them to their social workers.” Cody had summed it all up for me outside, but I still wasn’t sure I understood. “And he does this for three or four other places?”
“He’s at a different facility, either a group home or down at social services, once a month.”
“I guess Bouvier set this up.”
“No.”
I jerked my head up as Cody came around the corner and joined us, hands in his pockets as he stared into the room. A small kid, probably around five, hurtled between us and Cody sidestepped him easily, grinning as the kid started screeching.
Cody shrugged, his expression serious. “This is Flynn’s thing. He…well, he was dating a girl. They split up, but stayed friends. She did some modeling on the side to get through school, ended up going into social work, and one day asked Flynn if he could maybe help out one time because the photographer they’d been using was sick. He did. Then the photographer had to retire, cancer of some kind. Flynn heard and stepped up, offered his services. He doesn’t want Mom to know. She’d turn it into a media thing and that’s not why he does it.”
“Mither Cody,” a small voice said from down near my leg.
I looked down and saw a rather bedraggled fairy standing next to us. She had wispy blond hair and big brown eyes that looked too big for her thin face.
Cody scooped her up and she curled her arms around his neck. “How’s my angel doing today?” he asked, his voice soft. She looked so small wrapped in his arms.
“I can’t make my hair pretty,” she said, her voice low.
Cody gave me a look, brows arched.
I eased closer, smiling. Brushing the fine curls of her hair back, I rested a hand on her shoulder. “You already have pretty hair, but I bet I can help you get it to behave.”
***
“Here.”
I cracked one eye open, then the other, looking at Flynn as he dropped down onto the seat next to me. Cody had stretched out on the opposite seat, covering a wide yawn with his open hand. The cabbie pulled away from the group home as soon as Flynn closed the door.
I was exhausted. I’d forgotten how kids could do that. I'd baby-sat both my younger brother and sister growing up, as well as my older nieces and nephews until I'd moved out here. Today had brought back a lot of memories.
Looking down at Flynn’s proffered hand, I found him holding a fistful of bills and I frowned. “What’s this for?”
“You worked. I pay. That was the deal.”
“That’s for modeling. This was…” I stopped and shook my head. I caught his hand and folded his fingers back over the bills. With a faint smile, I shrugged. “I should probably thank you. It's been a while since I've done something...useful.”
Cody’s phone rang and he answered it, his face lighting up. Flynn and I lapsed into silence and a moment later, judging by the one sided conversation, I suspected we’d be a passenger lighter very shortly.
I was right.
After Cody disconnected, he caught the cabbie’s attention and asked him to make a side-stop. “I’m hooking up with some friends.” He smiled at us. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“I’m just along for the ride,” I said, shrugging. “Doesn’t matter to me.”
Once we’d let Cody out, tension slammed into the air, so thick it was hard to breathe. Flynn was the first one to break it, his voice rough as he said, “I really am sorry for how I acted, Gabriella.”
He rarely used my actual name. The sound of it on his lips sent a shiver down my spine, though I had to admit, I was coming to like the name Tennessee. No one else called me that.
Forcing my attention toward my ring, I twisted it and focused on Edward as I replied, “I already told you, don’t worry about it.”
“I can’t stop worrying about it. I was…” he stopped.
From the corner of my eye, I could see his profile as he stared out the window. He blew out a breath and shook his head. “There aren’t any words for how shitty I feel about it,” he finally said.
“Let’s just forget it happened.” I tried not to read anything into what he was saying. Tried not to think about if he thought the kiss had been bad...
“Okay.” He looked back at me.
Through my lashes, I dared to meet his gaze.
“How about you let me buy you a drink? Just to make up for it?”
“I…” Turning my head, I stared outside, watching as the scenery gradually became more familiar. “I don’t know, Flynn. The two of us around each other, it’s almost a recipe for disaster.”
“I’ll keep my hands to myself and I’ll behave.” In the window, I saw him raise two fingers. “Scout’s honor.”
“My ass you were a Boy Scout.” Even the thought made me smile.
“Well, I thought about it.” A grin curled his lips and I felt an answering tug in my belly. “I always hear about how girls go nuts for guys in uniforms.”
The playful glint in his eyes had me relaxing. Or parts of me, anyway. There was still a curious twist in my heart that wasn’t even close to relaxing and it echoed in other parts of me, but I made up my mind to ignore it.
I was friends with other guys.
I could be friends with Flynn.
Chapter 4
“Oomph.”
There was a jazz section in my head and searchlights flashing in front of my eyeballs. Groaning, I went to twist over in the squeaky affair that served as my bed. It didn’t squeak.
There was a noise, though, the sound of water running. A shower.
I froze.
Edward…?
I hadn’t seen Edward last night, had I?
I cracked one eye open and found myself staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. Although the slightest movement was agony, I turned my head and looked around. Pale grey walls, stark black and white nude prints framed on the walls.
Shit.
Dread started to build in my throat, although it could
have been bile. Either way, I was almost certain I was going to puke. My pounding head, the light that made my eyes want to explode. I was so hung over.
And I wasn’t at home, or at Edward’s.
That was bad enough, but I knew those prints. Or at least, I knew the style of them. There was a heavy sigh from nearby and I forced myself to sit up, clutching the blanket to my chest as I realized I was naked.
The sound of the water cut off as I acknowledged my complete lack of clothing. Naked. Somebody had just finished a shower and I was almost positive it wasn't Edward. He'd never be caught dead in a room with nudes on the wall, no matter how artistically done.
What the hell, Gabs?
I’d talked to Edward last night. I remembered that much at least. He’d called to check up on me, again, and I’d told him I was out with his brother. I'd known he’d assumed I'd meant Cody and I hadn’t corrected him.
My head started to pound even harder and I lifted a hand to my temple pressing against it as though that would stop the pain. My skin started to prickle and I had the sensation I was being watched. Fighting the urge to crawl back under the covers, I tightened my fist in the blanket I held clutched to my naked breasts and forced myself to lift my head. Stop procrastinating. Deal with it.
Flynn was leaning against an open doorway just a few feet to my right. Water dripped down his chest, ran down his jawline, clung to his dark hair. Amused blue eyes rested on my face, a faint smile curling his lips.
“Morning, Tennessee.”
I gaped at him. “Good…good morning?”
“Well.” He shrugged and glanced toward the window. “I guess good afternoon is more accurate. You’re quite the wild woman when you get a few drinks in you, know that?”
I gripped the blanket so tight, my knuckles hurt.
“What in the hell did I do?” I whispered, covering my eyes with my hand. I tried to think back and remember and, as if they had been waiting, memories started to unfurl. Not a lot of them, but enough. We’d been out at a club. It was a lot classier, a lot sexier than any place I’d ever been able to afford on my own. We’d danced and had a few drinks and…fun. We’d had fun.
I’d relaxed too much.
Shit.
I’d kissed him. I’d grabbed Flynn and pressed my mouth against his, shoved him up against the wall.
He hadn’t responded the first time. Or even the second.
But then he had and if he hadn’t caught my hands and pulled them away, we might have ended up arrested for violating some sort of decency laws.
That was all I remembered before my brain got too fuzzy, but it was enough to make me sick.
And now…I looked down at the blanket I still held with a death grip and then I looked up at him.
The lazy smile I’d seen on his face had faded, replaced by a sneer I’d seen all too often from him. “Damn, Tennessee. You’re making me feel cheap. I was good enough for you last night, but now you’re sitting there clutching your pearls.”
The words hit me like a punch in the gut. Lurching to my feet, I half-stumbled away from the bed. My hair tumbled into my face and I shoved it back, looking around wildly.
I saw my clothes and grabbed them.
Sensing him moving up behind me, I spun around. “Stay away!” My voice was shrill, sending bright stabs of pain through my head.
“Now, that’s not what you said last night.” His eyes ran over me.
I swallowed, feeling sick to my stomach.
“What’s the matter, baby?” He dragged his short nails down the scruffy growth darkening his jawline, his eyes sliding down to the blanket I held to my chest. “You look like you think I’m going to tarnish your halo. Trust me…after last night, it’s well and truly tarnished.”
“Shut up!” I could feel myself on the verge of tears.
Flynn rocked back on his heels. “I don’t know what the problem is, sweetheart. Hell, you were plenty up for being…tarnished last night and you didn’t seem to mind that I was the one dirtying up your halo. But now…” He leaned and murmured into my ear. “I guess you remembered sweet Edward.”
Curling my hand into a fist, I told myself I wasn’t going to hit him. His head was so damn hard, I just might break my hand and he wasn’t worth it. Instead, I shoved past him and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me as I dragged my clothes on and tried not to cry.
When I came out, Flynn was still standing exactly where he’d been and he shot me another look. “Here I was thinking we’d all kissed and made up last night and we could be friends again.”
I choked back a sob.
“You don’t wanna be friends?”
Fucking bastard.
I was holding my shoes and I almost threw them at him. Instead, I just bolted through the door. I hadn’t been to his place before, but it was a simple enough layout. The bedroom opened into a wide, open living room and the door was directly across from me. I saw my purse on the coffee table and I grabbed it, still holding my shoes in my other hand.
He shouted my name, but I kept on moving.
I had to get out of there.
***
I stood under the spray of the shower, face lifted to the water. I’d washed three times. Scrubbed my hair. I could see smell Flynn on me, although it was just my imagination and I knew it.
I kept having flashes of last night, but they all stopped not long after we’d stumbled out of the club where we’d gone for drinks.
I’d slammed him up against a wall.
Stared up at him, put my mouth against his.
Kissed him.
He hadn’t done anything at first, just caught my upper arms and held me back. I remembered that it had pissed me off.
So I’d kissed him again and told him that I still dreamed about the way he'd touched me. He didn’t do anything the first time, the second time…but the third time, he’d spun me around, one hand tangling my hair while the other had grabbed my jaw.
The kiss he’d finally given me had been…bliss.
“Stop it,” I whispered while tears leaked out of my eyes.
It had been hard enough to deal with the attraction to Flynn while being with Edward, but I'd told myself that had just been leftover from our one time together. I could handle it because I hadn't been with Edward back then. But now, I’d cheated.
I wanted to hurt Flynn, and badly. I didn’t understand how he could have done this. He’d said he’d behave. I’d trusted him. Or maybe I’d just fooled myself into believing I could trust the bastard.
I swiped at the tears that couldn’t seem to stop flowing. They mingled with the water from the shower and my vision was blurred from the steam and my own tears.
The water started to go cold and I turned it off. If I got cold now, I just might never warm up. I wrapped up in my robe and dried my hair, taking a ridiculous amount of time to dry it, focusing on that mundane task in an effort to empty my mind.
It worked. For maybe ten minutes.
Then I found myself crying again and trying to understand just what I was supposed to do.
Did I tell Edward?
Would Flynn tell Edward?
And if I did tell, what was I supposed to say?
We were out having a drink after work and I got drunk and we ended up in bed? I didn’t plan it…
Listless, I finished my hair and twisted it up into a messy pile on top of my head, then dressed in my most comfortable clothes, a too-large bright orange Volunteers t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants. Catching sight of myself in the mirror, I had to stifle a sob. If Edward saw me now, he’d probably have a polite little fit. He so loved seeing me dressed like a little doll. I looked like Redneck Barbie with my worn and faded clothes and bad hair, but I didn’t care. If anything, I wanted to look as bad as I felt.
Grabbing a blanket, I huddled up on the couch and stared at absolutely nothing. Which was perfect. I needed to think about absolutely nothing.
My phone chose that moment to go off and I swallowed the knot t
hat had lodged in my throat as I answered. My voice was husky and uneven, which gave credence to the lie I told when Edward’s greeting immediately went from Good morning to What’s wrong?
“Nothing. I’m just not feeling too well.”
“Are you sick?” The softness of his voice was a soothing balm after the scathing tones of Flynn’s voice and I wished Edward was there, that I could lean against him and ask him to make everything bad go away.
If only it was that easy. If only I could tell him what was really wrong.
“I don’t know. I might have just had a few too many last night.”
There was a faint pause and then he asked, “Would you like me to come over? I can. It will take some finessing, but I can wrap up these meetings and be there within an hour or so.”
A near hysterical laugh almost escaped me. “No.” I was able not to scream it. Barely. “No, please. I’m not that bad.”
“Are you certain?”
“Yeah.” I stared out the window on the far side of the apartment. “I just need to rest. I want to sleep more than anything.”
After he’d hung up, I rested my head against the padded back of the couch and closed my eyes. Just don’t think, I told myself. If I didn’t think, I could hold it together.
Don’t think.
Don’t think…
That lasted maybe two minutes. Then I ended up sobbing, my face pressed to my knees.
My life was now so messed up. A few weeks ago, I’d felt like I'd been caught in a fairy tale. Maybe I still was…only now I wasn't the princess.
I was the villain, and the villain never got the happy ending. We didn't deserve it.
Chapter 5
The couch gave underneath the slight weight of Kendra’s long, leggy form, but I didn’t look up at her.
I was too busy focusing on the computer and the job search I’d been conducting in vain—and in secret—for the past few days. Guilt, among other things, weighed on my shoulders and I couldn’t seem to look anybody in the eye. I couldn’t handle talking to Edward, either.