by M. S. Parker
How could I deny him anything when I'd fucked up so badly? I just wanted to make him happy. To make up for what I'd done.
“Yes.”
Chapter 7
“Aren’t you moving a little fast?”
At the sound of Kendra’s voice, I closed my eyes.
I waited until I knew I could answer without snapping before I said anything. “Aren’t you the one who told me I was going to lose the best thing that ever happened to me if I wasn’t careful?”
“Yes!” She sounded exasperated.
I opened my eyes just in time to see her flopping down on the couch next to the box of clothes I'd almost finished packing. Edward had offered to have movers come in and pack my things, but I didn’t like the idea of strangers touching my underwear. As soon as I'd said that, he'd agreed. He didn't like that idea any more than I did.
“But Gabs, look.” She caught my hands just as I went to grab one of my sweaters. “Look at me. Last week, you were all down in the dumps over something. And don’t lie to me and say it was over this job that’s ending. I know you better than that. Something was really eating at you. If you aren’t ready to talk, okay, but, come on. Now you’re rushing into moving in with him?”
“We’re getting married, remember?” I held up my hand and wiggled the finger with the ring. “How is this rushing anything?”
She gave me a knowing look. “I don’t know. You tell me.”
“Well, I can’t. Because we’re not rushing.” I jerked my shoulders in a shrug, as if I hadn't already been having this conversation with myself. “This is what feels right.” Especially if I didn’t want to lose Edward, if I wanted to feel safe and secure in what we had, this was what I needed. When I was with him, everything felt right. I didn’t even think about whatever crazy shit was happening elsewhere. He was a rock, and that was what I needed. What I wanted.
“Gabriella…” Kendra’s voice trailed off.
I didn’t look at her. Tugging my hands away from hers, I went back to folding my clothes. “I’ve only got a couple of hours before the movers get here. You’re coming to the party, right?”
“If you’re certain this is what you want, well…yeah. I wouldn’t miss it.”
“It’s what I want.” It had to be…right?
***
The party had been Edward’s idea, to celebrate my moving in with him and to introduce me to more of his friends. Same social circle as the people at the club, but closer to Edward's age than his parents. This was for friends rather than business associates, though I got the impression that some of them were one and the same.
The thing was, I didn’t know any of them and almost none made any attempt to speak with me. Quite a few of them, however, did know Kendra, thanks to the fact that her face was currently being splashed all over the media. Edward hadn’t been joking when he said she was becoming one of their hottest commodities. I was happy for her, but every time we had a minute to sit down and breathe, somebody would come and start chatting her up. Almost all of them were men and more than a few seemed to have something other than friendly conversation in mind, which Kendra was more than aware of, judging by the glint in her eyes.
She wasn’t like me, though. She knew how to handle men like that. The ones who flattered and cajoled. She could see right through all the bullshit and knew what each man really wanted, and whether or not she wanted to give it to them. Stupid me, I’d done one photoshoot with a known party-boy and I’d ended up naked in under an hour.
And had I learned from my mistake? Had I listened to my more worldly-wise friend? No. I’d gone out with him again and what had happened?
I’d ended up drunk and flat on my back.
The misery and the shame of it started to choke me again, and I could feel the burn of tears in my eyes, but before I succumbed to them, a familiar laugh caught my attention. I looked up and saw Stacia Vanderbilt. She was leaning close to Edward and as she rested a hand on his arm, she laughed at something he said.
My belly twisted in an ugly, hot snarl. They looked so right together. Like a match. Like they fit. They belonged. She was dressed in a sleek black column dress that set her pale skin off like a pearl and while I'd thought my own blue dress had been flattering, compared to her, I felt like the frumpy country cousin.
As if he sensed my gaze, Edward looked up and smiled at me, his eyes heating up. There was a time when that smile would have filled me with delight, but now I could only think about how he would look at me if he knew the truth. Still, I kept smiling and he turned back to his friends, murmuring something to Stacia and then to the others around him.
I half-expected the acknowledgement to be just that, but he walked away from them and came over to me, moving with the athletic grace that came from years of sports and maintenance.
“You’re the belle of the ball and yet you’re standing on your own, Cinderella,” he said, dipping his head to kiss me lightly.
“Well, Cinderella was a woman of mystery.” My attempt at a quip fell flat. Was I losing my ability for pithy comments too? Not that it had been doing me much good. “I don’t really know anybody, Edward, and I'm clearly out of my element.” My gaze wandered to Stacia who was watching us over the rim of her wineglass. Her gaze was anything but friendly. “Stacia seems to know a lot of people though.”
“Yes,” he answered absently. “She and I grew up in the same circle. We know a lot of the same people.” He slid his arms around me and pulled me back against him. “I’m so glad you’re here now, gorgeous.”
“Hmmm.” I tucked my head against his shoulder as he pressed a kiss to the hollow below my ear. “Me too.” I told myself that if I kept saying it, eventually, it would be true, but I wasn't entirely sure I believed the whole fake it till you make it saying anymore.
“Come on.” He pulled away from me. “I want to introduce my beautiful fiancée to some of my friends.”
He nodded to Kendra who returned it before going back to a conversation with a guy I was pretty sure I'd seen on a billboard a few weeks ago. For the first time since I'd met her, I was truly jealous of my best friend, but not of her looks or career. No, I was jealous at how easy she took to her surroundings.
I gave Edward a plastic smile and let him tuck my hand into the crook of his arm before he led me off into the crush. From the corner of my eye, I saw the look Stacia directed our way. I wanted to hate her, wanted to tell Edward how much I disliked her being there, but after the past week, I didn’t think I had the right to make demands of him on anything. Or any right to judge another woman's desire for my fiancé. Not after what I'd done.
***
After a couple hours apart, Kendra and I finally managed to steal a few moments just outside on the balcony. It was dark out, but the lights placed here and there kept the darkness from being too complete. We’d chosen one of the darker corners, though, because we were both trying to hide. Me from the curious and disapproving looks from Edward's friends, Kendra from her admirers.
“Some party,” she said over a glass of sparkling water. She had a shoot in the morning.
I had a glass of the same. Even the thought of alcohol made my stomach turn right now. I took a sip of the almost-certainly-expensive water and glanced at her. “Edward doesn’t do anything small scale.”
She gave me a sideways look. “Are you happy?”
“Happy? Of course I’m happy.” Even as I voiced the lie, I tried to figure out why I had to lie. Aside from Flynn. Aside from the fact that I’d cheated on my fiancé. Why had I cheated? Why had I gone out with a guy I probably knew I shouldn’t trust anyway? Why was I so messed up?
Kendra's voice drew me from my thoughts. “Then how come you aren’t in there, walking around with him and having fun, doing the new fiancée thing?” She sighed, the sound almost sad. “Gabs, you don’t look happy.”
“I am,” I insisted again. I couldn’t even tell her the truth. She wouldn’t understand and she’d already tried so hard to warn me away from Flynn. Grante
d, she’d been a bitch about how she’d done it, but she hadn’t been wrong, had she? “I am happy, Kendra. I’m just stressing. The wedding. Edward’s mom…none of the wedding planning is really falling to me. I just—”
“Excuse me.”
The voice was low, almost hushed.
Both of us stiffened as a form emerged from the shadows, gazing at Kendra with rapt eyes.
I wasn’t quite able to hide my irritated sigh, but Kendra was already smiling graciously. She was taking to the insta-fame a lot better than I was, and I wasn't generally recognized on sight.
“Hello.”
He started to blink rapidly, smoothing down his suit and patting at his hair. “Yes, hello. Yes.” He licked his lips and stuck out a hand. “You’re Kendra, aren’t you?”
“I am.” She shook his hand.
“I was…” He swallowed and looked at me. If he knew who I was, it didn't show. “Yes, hello. I…that is, my partner and I, are doing a charity fundraiser to benefit the youth of the city and we were needing a spokesperson for the event. Could I, that is, if you don’t mind, can I beg a few moments of your time?”
Kendra shot me a look that clearly said it was my call.
I tipped my water at her. “Your public calls.”
They hadn’t even made it ten feet when a low voice behind me said, “I thought they’d never leave.”
I jumped, my entire body going cold. Spinning around, I started to back up. The heel of my shoe snagged on one of the stones and if Flynn hadn’t caught me, I would have ended up falling on my ass. Honestly, I would have preferred falling on my ass.
Shoving at his hands, I twisted away. “Let me go.” I tore away from him with a ferocity that surprised me.
He gave me a bemused smile. “What’s the matter, Tennessee? Afraid your beloved prince will see? Or is something else bothering you?”
“Yes.” A knot was threatening to choke me. I curled my hands into fists “You.”
He blinked, confusion stamped on his features. He shoved an unsteady hand through his hair and took a stumbling step toward me.
Shit. He was drunk. Flynn was bad enough sober.
“I sh—think you’re gonna have to esh—explain that one to me, darling.”
I backed away another step, determined to keep as much distance between us as I could. “You’re drunk,” I snapped.
“Well.” He paused to consider this and then nodded. “A bit. Maybe more than a bit. Possibly a lot. Not totally smashed though.”
I eyed the distance between me and the door, or at least me and the biggest pool of light. It was a fair distance. The noise coming from inside the mansion would make it difficult for anybody to hear anything from outside. And I…well, I wasn’t so certain I wanted to make that much noise. I really, really wasn’t.
Sober Flynn might've kept his promise not to say anything to Edward. I wasn't so sure drunk Flynn would do the same. Either way, I didn't trust him.
“Just go away, Flynn.”
“I can’t.” He shrugged and gestured to me. “‘I’m here on bish—business. Got a few clients who need more pictures of you. You’re my biggest draw right now, Tennessee.” He gave me a wide grin and folded his arms over his chest, sliding his gaze down over me.
I echoed his pose, but mine held none of his cocky confidence. If I could have, I would have run. My entire body flushed, and only half of it was shame. “Go away,” I whispered it this time. “Please. I already told you, I’m not doing any more work for you. Ever.”
“Aw, bullshit. You enjoy it too much.” He shoved a hand into his pocket and a few seconds later, plucked out a card, displaying it. “Times, payment offered, the works, Tennessee.”
He held it out to me.
I glared at the card, then at him, trying to pull up anger to burn away everything else. I could handle him when I was pissed.
“No.” I backed away, shaking my head. “Don’t you get it? I’m not doing this. You’re ruining my life. I’m not working for you again ever.”
This time, something in my voice got to him and he stilled. He looked at the card and then at me. For a long moment, he didn’t say anything and then he shoved the card back into his pocket, a sneer drawing his lips tight. “You better think this all through, Gabriella. You’re so certain you’re ready to throw away good money just because you got your panties in a twist?”
“My…” Through a sheen of tears, I stared at him. My voice broke as I demanded, “My panties in a twist? You son of a bitch, I cheated on Edward with you! You promised you wouldn’t do anything and I ended up drunk and then naked in your bed and you think my panties are in a twist? They ended up on your fucking floor!”
“So that’s what this is about.” He snorted and spun away. I watched as he shoved his hand through his hair and stared up at the canopy of trees that spread out over us. After a moment, he looked back at me. “You know, you should just do the smart thing. Do the job or I’ll just show Edward the pictures.”
Every cell in my body tightened as anger became a living thing inside me. “I’d rather he see the damn pictures than keep working for you.”
“Even if I show him the ones with Cody?”
“That's low, Flynn. Even for you,” I spat out, brushing at my cheeks. “They're your brothers.”
“What about if I tell him about our little night out?”
My blood ran cold, but I just stared at him. He wouldn’t do that. He loved Edward too much and he didn’t want to hurt him or make him angry. Then again, he'd just threatened to let Edward know that Cody had been in on my modeling sessions. Who knew how low this bastard would go?
And that was it. I didn't know. I couldn't keep doing this, making myself sick with worry. My shoulders slumped. “You do what you have to. I’m not doing this anymore.” I turned to leave.
“I will show him the pictures, Gabriella.” His voice came in a low, heated growl and I realized he meant it.
Raggedly, I whispered, “I hate you.”
“Yeah, well. I don’t really like you right now either, Tennessee. But cheer up…nothing happened last week.”
He started to shove past me, the reek of expensive alcohol surrounding him.
I shot out a hand as his words registered, doing something I told myself I’d never again do. I touched Flynn McCreary.
“What?” I demanded.
He twisted out of my reach, but instead of pulling back, he caught my chin in his hand and angled my head back, almost painfully. Then he lowered his head, staring down at me with a brutal, burning gaze, his mouth barely inches from mine. “You heard me. Nothing happened. You’re still all good and pure for your beloved Edward.”
He let go, rubbing his hand on his pants as if the feel of my skin was somehow tainted. He turned to stride off.
“I…” Swallowing, I stared at his retreating back. My brain was spinning and my stomach churning. “What...how could you let me think that?”
He froze at my question and spun around, storming back to me.
His hands shot out and I flinched as he grabbed my shoulders. An ugly, brutal anger twisted his face as he hauled me closer. I could feel the strength in his grip and knew that he could truly hurt me if he wanted to.
“I’ll answer that question as soon as you answer mine.” His words were a low hiss. “How could you think I’d do that? You were drunk off your ass and you think I could have taken advantage of you? Fine. You think that low of me, so I let you think whatever you want. You were too drunk and close to passing out in the car. I wanted to get some water and food inside you so I took you to my place, but you were already half out of it. I got you to drink some water and then you got sick. That helped, but you still stripped out of your clothes and came on to me. Then you passed out in the middle of yelling at me for not fucking you. I left you in the bed and slept on the lounge near the windows. End of story.”
He let me go and stormed off, leaving me staring after him.
Shaken, I sagged against the brick wall
, wrapping my arms around myself.
Tears burned my eyes and I didn’t even try to hold them back this time. I wasn't sure if I was crying for what I'd thought I'd done, for what I really had done, or for the fact that I'd thought the worst of someone who'd done all he could to keep his promise.
Chapter 8
“Thank you for coming.” Edward smiled at yet another guest as he went to leave. He was seriously the quintessential party host. He was the quintessential everything.
I was lucky to have him. And now I didn’t have anything to feel guilty over. Well, not exactly. Sure, I'd thrown myself at Flynn, but I'd been drunk. I hadn't been thinking clearly. I shouldn't feel guilty about that. So why did I?
I didn’t know, but it wouldn’t go away. I supposed if I thought about it, I could've figured it out, but I didn't want to think about that ever again.
I focused on smiling and blanking my mind as the guests continued their slow trickle towards the exit. Most of them had already gone, but as if by some unspoken cue, the rest were now getting ready to go.
With one exception.
The lovely and icy beauty that was Stacia Vanderbilt still lingered by the bookshelves, staring at them as if she’d never seen anything so fascinating. Except every few moments, I’d see the look she’d give Edward. And she made sure I saw it too.
I didn’t let it get to me.
I couldn’t. I would prove I was the better woman.
Edward caught my hand and rubbed the inside of my wrist with his thumb as he bade good-bye to a couple with spiked, multi-colored hairdos. They’d gushed over Kendra and one of them had mentioned a previous photoshoot. I was pretty sure she'd said something about them designing lingerie. I liked them. They’d stopped a few times to chat with me and they were funny, sharp and had made cutting comments about some of the other guests.
“I hope to see you again sometime, Gabriella,” the woman said. I thought her name was Naomi.