A touch of love

by Conn, Phoebe

  Gardner was five foot ten if he stretched real hard, which he did. A runner, he had no problem with weight, but that didn't mean he was eager to take on a man Jesse's size. Still, he couldn't just stand there and calmly accept his criticism no matter how it was intended. "I don't believe that was the type of help Aubrey intended you to give."

  "I never do anything halfway," Jesse confided softly. "Now, when the next seminar begins, I expect you not only to look like a new man, but to act like one, as well. You're going to ignore Trisha, and in no time at all, she'll be chasing you. Take your time about letting her catch you."

  "I think you've ridden one too many bulls," Gardner replied. "That will never happen."

  "Aren't you listening to anything Aubrey says? Practice a little creative imagery and make her your adoring slave in your mind. Just follow my advice and it will happen."

  Grasping a sudden insight, Gardner turned the tables. "Is that what you're doing with Aubrey?"

  Jesse moved back a step and, while his expression was still friendly, he refused to answer that question. "I think Aubrey is about to introduce the next segment. We'll have to talk later."

  As soon as the morning break began, Jesse was surrounded by those who wanted him to sign their journals. He moved to one of the chairs in the front row and signed each book he was handed. It had been awhile since he had been asked for an autograph and he was ashamed by how quickly he had dashed them off in his glory days, never realizing how soon the adoration would end.

  Shelley brought him a cup of coffee, and he was pleased by her smile. Thinking her work must distract her from her personal problems, he didn't realize he was the cause of her improved mood until Aubrey pointed it out at the lunch break. "Oh, Lord," he sighed. "Don't worry. She's just a kid, and I won't take advantage of her."

  "I hope you won't," Aubrey replied. "But when a girl loses her father either through death or divorce, she often falls into a predictable pattern and pursues only distant men who'll abandon her. Ricky is a perfect example. He just divebombs her life, leaves her heartbroken and convinced that if only she tried harder, the next time he might stay."

  Again Jesse got the uncomfortable feeling that his lack of interest in permanent commitments might be described in the very same way. "What are you saying? If I'm distant, she'll like me all the more?"

  "I'm afraid so. Now I always bring my lunch, but you go on and catch up with the others. Yesterday everyone

  said the food in the bank's cafeteria was actually quite good."

  4 'Are you just going to sit up here all alone?''

  Aubrey was surprised by his dismay. "I enjoy having a few minutes to myself during a seminar. Now go on. Don't worry about me." She walked over to the table in the front of the room where she had left her purse and the canvas bag holding her lunch.

  ''Wait a minute," Jesse called and Aubrey turned back toward him.

  "I don't want you staying in here alone. Is that what you did yesterday?"

  "Yes. Obviously I survived unharmed." She sat down to enjoy a carton of nonfat lemon yogurt and several pieces of fresh fruit.

  "I don't like this." Jesse hesitated a moment, then joined her at the table. "I'll stay with you, then go out for lunch when the others come back."

  Aubrey was exasperated with him, but the firm set of his jaw warned her she would be wasting her breath to argue. He hadn't complained about the way she had forced him to speak without notice, and grateful her ulterior motive hadn't been transparent, she decided to allow him to win this one, and thanked him again. "The group enjoyed your contribution immensely. I don't want to sound as though I'm delivering these seminars by rote, and whenever I can add something new, I don't hesitate to do so. Thanks for being such a good sport about it."

  After moving his chair away from the table slightly, Jesse stretched out his legs to get comfortable. "I didn't really have much choice now, did I? I didn't want to embarrass you, or myself, either."

  Aubrey peeled an orange and offered him a section. "Somehow, I doubt that you ever embarrass yourself."

  "Constantly," Jesse admitted. He slid the bite of orange

  into his mouth and wiped his hands on the paper napkin Aubrey offered. He had not been in the kitchen when she packed her lunch, but it was plain from the scant amount erf food she had brought that she had not intended to share it. He was too stubborn to let her get away with snubbing him, whatever her excuse.

  "Let's get back to Shelley/' he suggested. "I've no desire to be anything other than friendly. Will that turn her on?"

  "Probably, but if she finds you attractive, maybe she'll realize she's outgrown Ricky Vance."

  Jesse accepted another orange slice. "I think Gardner is more her type. Have they ever dated?"

  "Gardner?" Aubrey thoughtfully considered the pair as a couple. "Unlike most work situations, my team and I are together only a few times a month, not every day, so I don't follow their personal lives closely. They have their friends, and I have mine. It's possible that Gardner and Shelley could have seen each other after the seminars, but if they have, I don't know about it."

  "Trisha would know though, wouldn't she?"

  "She might not be as observant as you think. She seemed shocked yesterday when Shelley mentioned that Gardner had a crush on her. He's an excellent engineer, by the way, but I'm afraid Trisha just dismisses him as a nerd."

  "With good reason." Jesse took the half of an apple Aubrey handed him and chewed his first bite slowly. "You're probably wise to avoid getting involved in your assistants' lives, but what about all the people who read your book and attend your seminars? Do they expect to have a personal relationship with you?"

  "Yes. They most certainly do. My publisher forwards fan mail, and I was completely overwhelmed with it at first. Because of the subject of my book, people were inspired to confide all sorts of intimate details of their lives and I

  thought the least I could do was offer an encouraging comment or two/'

  Jesse assumed she must have received a mountain of mail and, for some bizarre reason, his first thought was of her sitting on a high stool and using a quill pen like Bob Cratchett in Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol. "Did you actually answer every letter personally?''

  "I tried to at first, but it just got to be too much for me. Trisha was doing freelance secretarial work, and I hired her to help me handle my mail. She quickly convinced me that I need only respond with a postcard which had an illustration from The Mind's Eye on one side and a brief acknowledgment of their letter on the other, I still feel it's rather impersonal, but I know I can't become a close friend of everyone who reads my book."

  "Will you settle for being mine?" Jesse asked.

  He had tossed his Stetson aside as soon as he had come through the conference room door that morning, but he was still wearing his fringed jacket. The gleam in his eye as well as his choice of attire made it plain he wasn't really looking for anything as tame as friendship, and Aubrey wasn't certain how to respond. "You are a most unusual man, Jesse Barrett."

  "And you are stalling, Ms. Glenn." He was tempted to lean over and kiss her, but delayed just a second too long and Gardner came through the door, ruining what litde opportunity Jesse might have had to be more than a friend. He rose with a languid stretch.

  "Show me how to copy the morning tape, and I'll get started on them," Jesse offered. He turned to smile at Aubrey. "Thanks for sharing your lunch."

  Rather than being pleased by his courtesy, Aubrey was sorry she hadn't thought to bring something more for him.

  Jesse had an annoying way of insinuating himself in her life, and she still didn't know quite what to make of him. He had seemed to be genuinely interested in her assistants' romantic dilemmas, and she could not help but wonder just what qualified him to be an expert on love.

  When they returned to Aubrey's that afternoon, Jesse waited for Trisha to leave and then suggested a swim. "If that's how you usually relax, you needn't change your routine just because I'm here."
r />   The air-conditioning at the bank had made the conference room positively chilly, but on the ride home they had been bathed in the late afternoon sun and it had been sufficiently warm to make the pospect of a swim enticing. 'That does sound good. Did you plan to join me?"

  "Sure, but I promise to stay on my side of the pool and swim laps so I won't be in your way."

  Jesse had such an expressive glance, Aubrey had no difficulty whatsoever reading what was really on his mind. Still, she really did want to swim. "Do I have your word on it?"

  Jesse raised his right hand. "It's your pool, ma'am. I'll have to abide by your rules."

  Aubrey was tempted to present an extensive list of prohibitions, but knew it wouldn't do a bit of good. "Last one in the pool is a rotten egg," she said instead, and dashed for the stairs before the astonishment had left his face. She knew better than to wear the pink bikini, and after tossing her clothes aside, slipped on a modest aqua tank suit. When she reached the pool, Jesse was just leaving the cabana wearing the swimsuit he had borrowed on Sunday, but with a running dive, she beat him into the pool.

  Jesse had no idea what had inspired Aubrey's playful

  mood, but considering it a great improvement, he slipped into the water in the shallow end and, as promised, began to swim with a carefully measured stroke. When he reached the other end of the pool, Guinevere ran up barking loudly. He flicked water in her face and waited for Aubrey to complete her second lap and also reach the deep end.

  * Tour hairy hound has a real short memory. I fed her this morning, but she acts as though I'm a complete stranger/'

  Aubrey called Guin over and hushed her indignant yaps. "She's an excellent watchdog, so I'll not scold her." Loving the gentle caress of the warm water on her skin, Aubrey turned away and again swam for the shallow end.

  Aubrey was fast, but Jesse's greater size gave him the advantage and he easily beat her down to the end of the pool. When Aubrey began her turn, he caught her eye. 4 'Want to race?"

  Guinevere had run alongside the pool and was again barking furiously. "I think we just did," Aubrey called, hoping to be heard above her pooch. "Do you want to try for distance?"

  While he was sorry she wasn't wearing the bikini, the way her wet tank suit was molded to her slender curves wasn't at all disappointing. "I don't think I can keep track of my laps," he admitted honestly.

  "Then you lose, because I'll have no trouble keeping track of mine." Aubrey pushed away from the side and swam toward the deep end.

  Jesse cursed under his breath, then decided all he had to do was float and let Aubrey wear herself out swimming. He didn't want to be too obvious about what he was doing, however, and began swimming up and down the pool at such a lazy pace he could have kept it up all night. When at last Aubrey paused to rest in the deep end, he came up beside her and tried to sound surprised.

  "Are you quitting already? I've barely had time to warm up."

  Aubrey hadn't been fooled by his relaxed pace. Crystal droplets clung to his lashes, brightening his gaze, but she saw past his ploy and shook her head knowingly. "Do the women in Arizona actually fall for your tricks?''

  "Every single time," Jesse admitted with a deep chuckle. "But I relish a challenge."

  "Yes, I just bet you do." Aubrey grabbed the side of the pool and pulled herself out of the water with a graceful lunge. She turned to sit on the tile lip and smiled sweetly. "Go right ahead and finish your swim. I'll keep watch so you're in no danger of drowning."

  She had such beautiful legs, Jesse couldn't resist placing a kiss on her knee before he also pulled himself out of the pool. Seated beside her, the prospect of drowning himself—in her—was incredibly appealing. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug. "We forgot about towels. Are you cold?"

  Aubrey was about to shove him back into the pool when she noticed the long scar that curved up and over his right knee. Unable to stop herself, she reached out and the instant her fingertips brushed his skin, she heard the roar of the crowd, and through a swirling dustcloud, saw him astride a huge bull. She knew exactly what was going to happen but Jesse's hand covered hers before she could pull away. She saw him slip, and then heard the sickening crunch as the bull's hind feet came down on his knee.

  She felt the nausea well up in her throat, broke free of his grasp, and lurched to her feet. She ran for the house, nearly tripping over Guinevere, who raced along beside her. She made it into the bathroom off the den with no more than a second to spare, but she was even more terrified than when Jesse had shown her the photograph of his cousin's family.

  She did not know how she could explain to him, or to anyone else, what she had not merely seen, but felt clear to her marrow. Shaken, she sank to the floor. She now feared it was Jesse who carried the hideous visions. She doubted he would find that premise any easier to believe than she did, but somehow the intuition she had learned to trust convinced her it was true.

  into detail when I told you what happened, nor when I spoke for your seminar today.''

  Aubrey wrapped her arms around her bent knees and rocked gently. "I saw it all clearly when I touched your knee. Had I actually been there that awful day, I couldn't have felt it any more deeply. I still don't believe I'm psychic, though. I think you're the one who's creating the awful visions, and I'm merely receiving them."

  That bizarre notion convinced Jesse that Aubrey must be becoming hysterical. He rose and hauled her to her feet. "I want you to take as hot a shower as you can stand." He yanked open the glass door on the shower enclosure and, holding on to her towel, eased her inside. He turned on the hot water, but afraid he might scald her, adjusted the temperature by adding some cold before closing the door.

  The bathroom had the same rust and navy color scheme as the den. Jesse had thought it both elegant and soothing but as he twisted the damp towel, the colors swirled around him with a jarring clash. If Aubrey had caught one of his worst memories in an eerie flash, it certainly had not been his doing. Perhaps they were playing with a power that couldn't be controlled, but he had never expected their attempt to solve a baffling crime to take such a puzzling turn.

  He left the bathroom to shuck off his wet trunks and pull on a pair of Levi's. Afraid Aubrey wasn't herself, he quickly returned to the bathroom, which was rapidly filling with steam. "Aubrey? Are you okay? Shall I bring you a robe?"

  When she failed to respond, he slid open the small cabinet along the wall and removed another towel. He then opened the shower door just a crack to peek inside and found Aubrey huddled in the far corner. She hadn't removed her bathing suit, which he thought was probably

  lucky for them both in the state she was in. He reached in to turn off the water, and then wrapped her in the clean towel before turning her around and leading her out.

  "I'd like to sweep you off your feet and carry you upstairs, but my knee would probably buckle and we'd go bumping right back down. I'll just walk you up like this." He slipped his arm around her waist and guided her through the den and up the stairs.

  When they reached the second floor, he paused at the doorway of the master bedroom. The thick comforter on the white enameled Victorian bed matched the dainty violet print of the robe Aubrey had worn Monday morning. A heap of pillows covered in the same pretty floral pattern, trimmed with white eyelet and purple ribbon, nearly obscured the fancy scrollwork of the headboard. A matching dust ruffle brushed a white rug with a deep purple border. The window overlooking the pool where Aubrey had waved to him was draped in gathered puffs of the violet print.

  The armoire and dresser were handcrafted pine and painted the same creamy marshmallow shade as the walls. An easy chair and ottoman covered in a luscious purple velour faced a wall unit with a television set, collection of curios, and profusion of potted plants. Warmed by the afternoon sun, their glossy leaves were as bright as those scattered across the bed linens and curtains.

  It was a delightfully feminine room, filled with the faint aroma of vanilla incense. Jesse found it diffic
ult, if not impossible, to imagine Larry Stafford sharing it, then recalled Aubrey had moved here after her divorce, so he never did live here. The whole house was beautiful, but he still thought it a terrible shame she occupied it all alone.

  "You're going to have to take off that wet bathing suit," he coaxed gently. "Shall I help you?"

  Aubrey glanced down and seemed surprised to find she

  was still wearing the aqua tank. Without replying to Jesse's offer, she slipped away from his grasp and walked into the adjoining bathroom. She left the door slightly ajar, revealing a glimpse of sparkling white tile and wallpaper with a narrow purple stripe.

  Jesse debated following her, not wanting to again find her collapsed on the floor, and he would have, had she not swiftly reappeared wearing a short lavender sleepshirt. Her hair was wrapped in a purple hand towel, and she did not bother to remove it before climbing onto the high bed and slipping down under the covers.

  Perplexed, Jesse moved to the end of the bed and rested his hands on the curving footboard until he was certain Aubrey was resting comfortably. Then he walked around to the other side of the bed and stretched out beside her. He wanted an explanation, not only for Aubrey's strange ability to scan his past as though it were an old movie, but also for the disastrous consequences she had suffered. He propped his head on his hands and stared up at the white ceiling fan. Its four tulip bulbs would give plenty of light, but he didn't want to have to wait until dark for his answers.

  When Aubrey awakened, it was nearly eight o'clock, and Jesse was sleeping soundly beside her. A thin stream of light shone from the partially open bathroom door, but curled up facing her, his face was in shadow. He was still lying on top of the comforter, while she was underneath, but she didn't recall inviting him to share her bed. She was about to give his shoulder a rude shake to send him away when she remembered why she had come upstairs to her room, and quickly yanked her hand away.