I need to get to Scotty.
I need to tell him he’s an asshole for doing this.
I need to let him know that whatever happens next I’ll be by his side and cover his ass, no matter what.
That’s when one word catches my attention.
One fucking word.
Deceased.
* * *
“Take it outside,” the bartender announced.
I set my feet and stared down someone I didn’t know. I didn’t know his name. His birthday. Whether his father was around or not. I had no idea if he was coming off a breakup, a divorce, or the loss of someone he loved.
All I cared about was that he was the first one to give the smallest hint of attitude.
I wasn’t even sure how it happened.
I sat down, ordered a beer, and looked around.
Picking out my target.
Someone’s face was going to take a hit or two in honor of what Julia was about to do to me.
This guy fit the part and had no problem standing up when words started flying.
He closed in on me and pointed to the door.
“Get out of here.”
“You coming with me?” I asked.
“I don’t go that way,” he said. “I prefer a slit.”
“What’s that?” I asked. “A split? Like your fucking lip?”
I swung my right hand and popped his lip open.
I knew everyone around thought I was a complete asshole.
And I was one.
A dumb joke. An almost cheap shot.
Someone grabbed my shoulder and I shook them off.
I went after the guy and got another punch in before his friends jumped in.
Two guys hit me.
The bartender yelled for me to leave or he was calling the cops.
Somehow I got turned around and I walked toward the door.
I looked back and the guy I hit had his arms open, holding his friends back.
Blood leaking from his mouth.
I nodded to him.
He nodded back.
I had no idea what the hell the nod was for.
I got out of the bar and hurried to my truck.
My anger was just the same. That did nothing to give me a sense of release.
And now I was sitting behind the wheel of my truck, knowing I was legally drunk. I told myself I wasn’t too drunk to drive.
So I drove.
I was now that guy.
The brokenhearted cliché guy, driving around with booze and regret in my system.
I told myself I had no idea where I was going, but that was a lie.
I knew right where I was fucking going.
The damn address was tattooed in my head.
From the second I got the invitation.
Which was never an invitation anyway.
It was just a cheap shot. And it hurt.
I pulled up to the wedding venue and stared at the building.
It looked like a country club or some bullshit place rich people would hang out to brag about being rich. A lot of windows. Soft lights. Landscaped to be perfectly beautiful.
That’s where it was happening.
Either outside (which Julia would have preferred) or inside.
It should have been on the beach.
Barefoot, wind blowing her hair all over the place.
Fucking facing me.
And we didn’t need anyone around.
Fuck that.
Someone walked by the front door window.
A man in a suit.
He paused and stared at me.
I started to drive.
I knew I would never forget the address either.
The numbers and name were stuck with me forever.
The place and the date… where I never got to say goodbye to Julia.
Chapter 11
THEN
Julia
The hotel room surprised me.
It wasn’t the normal over the top kind of thing Kinney would usually do.
I had no problem being put up in a hotel room by myself the night before the wedding. And of course Kinney had to make it known he was going to do the same. His hotel would be the over the top one.
There was just something about Kinney.
He was… I couldn’t put my finger on it.
He dressed nice, but not too nice. He always wore a lot of necklaces and bracelets. They were all collected through his traveling.
And even that was so interesting.
Kinney did the baseball thing for two years.
During that time, he and I stopped dating.
I wasn’t even sure if dating was the right word to describe a teenage love. Then again, the way I felt for Jett compared to Kinney back then… whew.
I shut my eyes and shook the thoughts away.
There was no way I could spend tonight doing that.
The point of my thought was that Kinney was so different. And that was the best thing about him. He loved in a different way. He acted in a different way. I believed in my heart he really didn’t want to be the pompous rich dick like the family he grew up with. And he fought that really hard too, sometimes.
Like when he bailed on the baseball team and decided to travel.
He left behind the team, the guys, whatever happened between them all, and he just started to travel. Going from place to place around the world, collecting stories, memories, and things like bracelets and necklaces.
So he wasn’t the same Kinney that I met when I was teenager.
And a lot of things he said were right even if he said them the wrong way.
And at the wrong time.
That was the whole point of being together. Right? The point of marriage. Right?
To accept the good and bad from one another.
No matter what.
Kinney had big dreams and could back them all up.
When it came to his family, he knew how to laugh them off.
His sister Stella was a closet drunk… who had the closet door wide open for everyone to see. That was one of Kinney’s favorite lines to use.
She was married to a businessman named Jack.
They had a daughter - Aira - and of course Aira had been crazy for Wes. I always wanted to call Wes Jett’s son but that wasn’t true. Jett was like a brother and father all rolled into one for Wes. Which was good.
But even that situation… when Jack decided to quickly move out of Hidden.
He packed up his family and moved to be in a bigger house.
I saw that from both sides.
The way Wes reacted.
Trying to be tough and play it off.
She’s just a girl. Whatever.
But he started to get into a lot of trouble. He became a really big headache for Jett. And for anyone who had to deal with him.
The other side was Aira.
Last time I was forced to have dinner with Jack and Stella, I was left with Stella in the kitchen as she sloppily chewed on some kind of fancy cured meat that smelled like salami. She drank wine like water and chomped on that crappy, gross meat…
“That girl ain’t right.”
That’s what Stella said to me.
About her own daughter.
While that comment pissed me off, I did agree with everything else she had to say. That taking Aira out of Hidden and away from her friends was a stupid decision. That Aira had new friends and was even talking to other boys. According to Stella, that was good because she never liked Weslee Jackson at all.
I smiled because not many people did.
She told me she couldn’t figure out why Jack demanded they leave.
She then started slurring her words saying her husband was acting scared. That he was a pussy. That she should have left him for a real man with strong hands.
Whatever.
The conversation got creepy.
I stood at the window of the hotel and started to laugh.
My mind was really digging into the memories of Stella?
/> I could have called some friends to come hang out.
Our wedding party was large. Only four people were chosen by me.
The rest were all part of Kinney’s… crew.
My maid of honor was Alexa.
Was she worthy of being a maid of honor? Probably not. But I had to choose someone. We had been mostly casual friends. We got closer after things went bad with Jett. We drifted apart when the whirlwind of Kinney arrived back in my life. And then she showed up at my bakery one day looking for coffee and a job. And we got close again.
We didn’t know each other’s deepest and darkest secrets.
I wasn’t sure if that was a requirement of a maid of honor or not.
The whole wedding thing…
I heard a soft knock at the hotel room door.
It was a sense of relief to hear the knocking.
It chased all the thoughts away.
I rushed to the door and opened it to find Kinney standing there with a rolling cart in front of him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. “You’re not supposed to see me. Or something.”
“Screw that, Pretty J,” he said. “I was thinking about things. I’m a dick.”
“What?”
“I’m serious. I’m a dick. I stood there in the kitchen and kind of pimped you out to my friends. I can’t stop thinking about it. Here I was, in my heart and head, thinking I was doing good. You know? I just had this vision of you…” He sighed. “You’re so much bigger and awesome than you believe.”
“Bigger?” I asked.
“Not like that,” he said. “Just who you are. You’re amazing. And I should have never made that decision for you. I wanted to show you there’s opportunity outside of Hidden. But it’s not my decision to make. And I made that decision. Like a dick. In front of my old friends, too.”
“Kinney…”
“No,” he said. “I fucking hate myself for thinking I need to compete. You believe that? Because they have these big businesses. But you know what they don’t have? You. They don’t have anyone. Want to know something?”
“Sure,” I said.
“Darryl… pays for it.”
“Pays for what?” I asked.
Kinney grinned as he stuck his pointer finger through the O shape he made with his other hand.
“Really?” I asked.
Why is this making me happy to hear?
“Yeah,” Kinney said. “So, I’m sorry, Pretty J. I really am. I just had to get that shit off my chest. No way I can look you in the eye tomorrow and marry you without telling you this. And giving you this…”
Kinney lifted the silver lid off of a tray.
There was a bag of gummy worms and a pack of cigarettes.
I burst into laughter.
“You asshole,” I said.
“What?” Kinney asked. He had that boyish grin. “Do you remember the gummy worms?”
“Of course I do,” I said.
“When I took you to the movies the first time. Remember? You told me you never got to get a snack at the movies. That it was always too expensive. So what did I do?”
“You made me pick something out,” I said. “I wanted chocolate but I was nervous to eat in front of you. So I picked gummy worms.”
“Exactly,” Kinney said. “And, hey, it’s the night before your wedding. Have a cigarette or ten. Just brush your teeth before you kiss me tomorrow.”
“Thanks for that,” I said.
Kinney laughed.
I… laughed…
Kinney pushed the cart to the side and stepped toward me. “Need one last fling before you’re a married woman?”
“With the man I’m marrying?” I asked. “That’s no fun.”
“Oh, right. Want me to find some guy to show up and sleep with you?”
“Not a bad idea,” I teased.
Then there was a strange silence.
I had a sick feeling both he and I were thinking the same thing.
A name.
A person.
Shit.
I looked at the tray. “Thank you for doing this, Kinney.”
“Anything for you,” he said. “Enjoy your last night of freedom.”
He made a scary sounding laugh and backed away.
I grabbed the gummy worms and cigarettes.
He walked away and I shut the door.
I took my gummy worms and cigarettes to the window and opened it.
There were no smoking signs all over the hotel and it clearly stated not to smoke in the room.
I lit a cigarette and took that first outlaw drag and smiled.
I thought about Jett instead of Kinney.
Fuck.
I switched my mind back to Kinney.
The man I was marrying.
But as I smoked, a lot of not so good memories flooded my mind.
And my heart.
* * *
I sit on the last step of the old beach house and am totally loving the cigarette I’m smoking. It’s been a shit day. On top of a shit week. And this cigarette is going to save my ass.
The old beach house is abandoned.
I have no idea who owns it.
Not that I could ever buy it.
Or probably would want it.
I just like to sit here and dream. I dream of owning a house on the beach. Not a mansion either. Those are for those rich assholes. I just want a small house on the beach. You know? Just enough room to live and be happy.
Was that so much to ask?
I keep telling myself soon.
And soon will be soon.
But before that, I get to finish my cigarette and smile.
For the first time in a week.
I let out a long sigh.
Aunt Bea always used to tell me that bad days come, good days come, things get balanced, and everything is okay. Of course, on the bad days you can’t possibly imagine things getting better. And on the good days you just wish they’d never end.
‘There you are.’
I have the cigarette between my lips and I turn my head.
My cheeks turn bright red.
Like I’m fifteen and getting busted for smoking.
‘Hey,’ I say to Kinney.
‘I knew you were here. I’m not stupid.’
‘I didn’t say you were. Am I wrong for being here?’
‘You tell me.’
‘You tell me,’ I say.
Kinney scoffs. He looks at the ocean. ‘I thought we were better than this, Julia.’
‘Better than what?’ I ask.
‘We agreed to let the past go,’ he says. He moves toward the steps and sits down. ‘That was the thing. The deal. The whatever you want to call it. I wasn’t going to hold anything against you. You the same to me.’
‘I’m not sure I’m following you here, Kinney,’ I say.
He looks at me. ‘You’re sneaking around. Smoking.’
I swallow hard. ‘You don’t want me to smoke in front of you.’
‘I don’t want you to smoke at all,’ he says. ‘We agreed upon it.’
‘I’ve had a bad week,’ I say.
‘So that justifies it?’
‘I’m not saying that. I just needed a second of peace.’
‘So I don’t give you peace? You can’t turn to me? Let me be there for you? Help you? Christ, Julia, what the hell is this then?’
I look at the cigarette. There’s still a couple drags left. I toss it to the sand and reach my right foot forward and twist my foot on it.
‘There,’ I say.
‘It’s not that simple.’
‘Want me to flush the rest down the toilet?’ I ask.
‘Come on,’ Kinney yells. ‘Is this who you are? Who you want to be? Tell me the truth, Julia. Are we moving too fast here then? You can’t hide on me. It’s not fair to us.’
Kinney stands up and walks down the beach.
He’s right.
I’m hiding from him.
I force myself to stand and I
meet him on the beach.
‘I had a bad week, Kinney,’ I say. ‘Nothing bad really happened. But it just felt that way. Whenever I tell you about bad things, you tell me to let it go. Or you offer me money. Or you tell me to close the bakery. You know what I need? Someone to just hug me and say ‘that fucking sucks’ … that’s it. Okay?’
Kinney looks down at me. ‘I just want to take care of you.’
‘I believe that.’
‘I want you to take care of yourself too.’
‘I believe that too,’ I whisper.
Kinney takes a deep breath. He slowly puts his arm around me. ‘That fucking sucks.’
He grins.
I smile.
I hug him.
I shut my eyes.
‘No more smoking,’ Kinney says. ‘I hate to be a dick, but I can’t tolerate that. You either come to me or you… or you leave me…’
I nod.
He’s right.
I keep hugging him.
Even though I’m not sure it’s the right thing to be doing.
* * *
I stood in front of the mirror and I lost my breath at the sight of myself.
I looked beautiful.
Nobody needed to tell me that.
It was a cliché kind of beautiful though.
Who wouldn’t look beautiful in a wedding gown, right?
Even still…
“Damn,” I whispered.
“Damn is right,” Alexa said. “I’m holding back tears so I don’t fuck up my makeup.”
I laughed at her.
She had been hitting the mimosas a little hard and was already drunk.
But it was my wedding day. She deserved to be drunk.
Or something…
“You are so fucking beautiful,” Alexa said.
I turned and looked at her. “I’m going to go get some air for a second.”
“I’ll come with you. Just let me get a drink.”
“Alone,” I said.
“You can’t get anything messed up.”
“I won’t,” I said.
The little room where I put the wedding gown on was all white. With a lot of mirrors. It smelled like expensive perfume, and that was not coming from me.
I exited the room and looked up and down the hallway to make sure there was no sign of Kinney.
I went right which took me to a heavy door.
It took a good push to pop it open. I would have used my shoulder, but, you know, the wedding dress and all that.
HIDDEN CREEK NOW: a hidden creek high novel Page 9