by Holly Rutan
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter One
Self-awareness came to me, abrupt, along with the recognition of time passing. I was pacing back and forth in a cramped wire mesh enclosure. Music, mournful and slow, was playing somewhere, and my footsteps landed in time to the gentle beat. It was five steps from one side of the cage to the other. I knew this intimately, much as I knew the feel of hard metal under worn paws and the tug as a too-long claw caught in the grating. My ears brushed against the wire above me with every step. The tips had gone ragged, the fur worn away by constant friction as I eased my boredom with motion.
Food would come soon. I was tired of walking, so I sat down.
Nothing in the room piqued my interest; the other cages that lined the wall were empty and the overhead lights were dimmed. Sometimes a man in a white coat sat in a chair next to my cage and observed me. He carried a clipboard and a stick and made marks on paper and meaningless noises. A projector played video in a continuous loop, making its own meaningless noises. The sound was tinny, a human voice rendered artificial and distant by electronics.
"A. Apple."
"B. Banana."
"C. Carrot."
Every time the machine made a noise, the picture changed. First the picture would show lines, and then it would change to an image of food or an animal. It occurred to me that the noise and the picture might be linked in some way. The same broken triangle appeared every time the sound was "A." The same food appeared right after.
Instead of pacing, I watched the video.
By the time it showed P (pasta), one of the doors was opening, and the man in the white coat came in. I liked the man in the white coat, since he almost always brought food with him. I usually had to do things to get the food, but that was all right. Even if I made mistakes, I would get the food eventually.
The man in the white coat made noises at me, and I glanced at him. He didn't smell like he had food on him and wasn't opening my cage, so I wasn't interested. I returned my attention to the video on the wall.
"S. Snake."
"T. Tomato."
"U. Unicorn."
* * * *
One morning, the video was different. It made a string of noises, each accompanied by its familiar picture of lines, and then each of the line-pictures was jammed together in a row, underneath an image of an animal.
"C, A, T. Cat."
"B, A, T. Bat."
"R, A, T. Rat."
The change terrified me. I thundered back and forth in my cage, rhythm lost. I was too frightened to watch but could not escape the sounds. My paws pounded against the wire mesh; metal rattled with every step. My feet were sore and bloody. Breath tore from my throat. Memory stirred deep in my consciousness, and even as I strained to understand, I shied away from the revelation. I reached the cage wall and turned, and reached the other wall and turned again, moving back and forth as though the expenditure of energy would ease the discomfort in my mind.
The sounds.
The sounds meant something.
Something important.
I lifted my nose and howled.
* * * *
"Tap your foot. What is ten minus six?" the man in the white coat asked.
I pawed at the latch to my cage and looked at him.
"No, it is not time for your walk. You must have progress before a treat, Jane. Today we are exploring your grasp of basic mathematics. Answer the question, and I will go get your leash."
We'd been doing the stupid foot-tapping drills for days. A pup could count the answers to his questions on her toes. Even if I didn't know the answer, White-coat's body language gave it away every time. Past experience suggested that even if I answered his question, he'd only ask me another one, no matter what line he fed me about getting my leash. He'd only take me out when he was good and ready.
White-coat was a dirty liar. I groaned and rolled my eyes and then heaved an exaggerated sigh to impress upon him how bored I was.
"Answer the question, Jane," White-coat repeated.
I picked at the cage door with my teeth, hooking my incisors into the gaps between wires and tugging in a repetitive, monotonous rhythm. The cage rattled with every tug, and I looked at White-coat out of the corners of my eyes.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
White-coat sighed.
"Correct. However, I told you to tap your foot. You will have to learn to follow instructions in order to be rewarded, Jane. Tap your foot. What is three times four?" White-coat asked, making a mark on his clipboard.
I groaned and collapsed on the wire floor for dramatic effect. Faking weakness, I pawed at the door twelve times, and then draped my paws over my face in feigned sleep.
"Tap your foot on the floor, Jane," White-coat said, his tone growing sharp.
Fuck this.
Caught in a sudden flash of temper, I stood back up and glared at White-coat. He could go to hell if he wanted anything more from me. I'd been playing his stupid games the whole afternoon and watching his stupid videos the whole morning, and I was done with it. My stomach cramped with hunger.
I want out.
The door to my cage had felt a little loose when I'd shaken it. I hooked my teeth through the wire grating and clenched my jaws. Wire bent and screeched under my teeth and bit through my gums. Blood dripped from my mouth, and my gums stung, but I paid it no mind. I would heal soon enough.
With a heave of my shoulders, I wrenched my jaws from side to side. The whole cage shuddered, and White-coat backed away hastily, grabbing for the talking box he kept in his coat pockets. I shoved, and the hinges gave way, sending me tumbling three feet to the floor in a heap.
Paws slipping on the slick tile floor and tail up high with glee, I scrambled to my feet and ran.
I pawed at one of the doors to my little room until it gave way, ignoring White-coat shouting behind me. Harder to ignore was the sudden blare of a strident, whooping alarm, accompanied by flashing white strobe lights.
The hall ahead of me was a blank corridor, lined with metal doors on either side. The corridor was filled with the musky, alien scents of many creatures. Fur prickled up in a ridge along my spine. I hurried past the doors instead of investigating.
White-coat had always taken me out the other door in my room. We'd pace the empty hallways with him holding me by a chain and a leather leash, and the walks always led to a dead end. I'd never run loose. I had no idea where I was going. I had a good idea that going toward other humans was probably a mistake, but behind me was White-coat and my tiny, ruined cage. Ahead adventure waited. My tail lifted even higher in excitement.
The hallway terminated in two doors. One had a knob and was useless to me. The other was featureless metal. I recalled the existence of elevators, the memory accompanied by a sharp medicinal scent and soft-edged thoughts that I couldn't quite recall. Elevators, I thought, take people to good places. Places where they make the pain go away.
I stood on my h
ind paws and hit the button on the wall. A few tense seconds later, the metal door slid open, and I trotted inside.
The door shut, and without further intervention from me, the elevator started to move.
There is no way out. No windows. No air.
I circled with my eyes wide and my tail tucked between my legs. No way out. No air. My mouth gaped open, and I gasped for breath. Just when I thought I couldn't bear it any longer, the floor lurched and the sensation of movement stopped. The doors opened, bringing a draft of cool air, and three white-coats stepped inside. I cowered away from them, but none of them paid me any mind except for a woman with a long ponytail.
"One of the new interns?" she asked.
Gathering myself, I nodded and stood up straight, trying to hide the tremor I could feel crawling through my limbs. I had no idea what an intern might be, but if she thought I was one, that would buy me a few more minutes of freedom.
"First time you heard the emergency alarm and wolfed out, huh? Don't worry. They'll catch whichever prisoner escaped in short order, and we'll get back to work. At least you remembered the evacuation route. You wouldn't believe how many of the new kids can't get out on their own," the woman said. "Remember to check in with your supervisor when you reach the courtyard."
I nodded again and then beat my tail against the ground. The elevator resumed its smooth journey toward the ground floor. The ride wasn't nearly as scary once I had company, but my stomach still trembled with anxiety.
"And tell your supervisor Janice says to feed you more. A skinny were is a cranky were," she chirped.
The idea made me grin. More food would be good. If I could talk, I would follow Janice's instructions. It was a pity I couldn't, but a wolf's mouth simply isn't shaped for that kind of activity. Every time I tried, it came out all in yips and howls, and White-coat frowned and made marks with his stick on the clipboard he almost always carried with him.
The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open to chaos.
I skittered out of the elevator and over to the side, taking in the scene with bewildered eyes. There were people everywhere. I saw white-coats, and other people with black coats, and still others with clothes in varying shades, some towing pups with them. Most smelled human, but there were also things that looked human that smelled like animals and plants and even stranger things.
Black-coats were ushering people out through various doorways. There were shouts, and pups were crying, and all the while the sirens were whooping, and the lights were flashing. The black-coats had things in their hands that sent a shiver of fear shooting through my spine until my fur stood on end.
Was this all because of me?
"Come on," Janice said, motioning with her hand. "The noncombatant staff evacuation area is this way. You'll feel better once we get away from this racket."
She could say that again.
I clung close to Janice's side and let her lead me, taking reassurance from someone who knew where she was going and what she was doing. The klaxon was still deafening, and the strobe lights threw me off balance until I was lurching. The inner music that gave my steps rhythm was drowned out completely. Even more confusing was the welter of smells, which only broadened as I stumbled with my companions out of the building and into an enclosed yard. As the doors closed, the alarm faded into the background.
The smells. The smells!
Janice was asking me something, but I was barely conscious of her question. My nose was up, and I was dragging air through it as quickly as I could breathe, until I felt lightheaded and dizzy. I planted my nose against the ground and sniffed hard, causing dust to puff up in clouds. A leaf skittered along the pavement, and I grabbed it in my mouth and worried at it until it fell to pieces. I spat the leaf fragments out of my mouth and pounced on another, dancing in the sunshine and warm breeze.
"Look at her. You'd think she never came outside before," someone commented.
"Are you sure that's one of our interns? I don't recognize her," someone else said.
"I thought she was," Janice answered.
"There she is!" White-coat's voice shouted from somewhere nearby, and my head came up with a startled grunt.
Crap. He was going to catch me, and I was going to catch hell.
With a pleading look at Janice and her companions, I tucked my tail between my legs and darted through the crowd and away from White-coat's voice. People shrieked and scattered, stinking in renewed fear. I wove through them, seeking a hiding place or a way out, but there was nowhere to go but the way I’d come. Black-coats filled that doorway, summoned by White-coat’s shout.
The black-coats pushed back the white-coats and others in the courtyard, and suddenly, I had no one to hide behind. There were a few scraggly bushes and concrete benches, enough to offer a little bit of cover from the things in the black-coats' hands. Guns, I remembered, feeling frantic. Those things were guns.
Pop.
Pop-pop-pop.
I dodged and leaped, trying to anticipate the direction of the black-coats' shots, but a stinging pain streaked across my flank, and one of my back legs stopped working. Fire spread from the wound, burning through my veins and leaving weakness in its wake. I stumbled a few more steps, unable to keep myself from uttering a pathetic little cry.
Consciousness fled.
* * * *
"This is a puppy," a voice said, the words more than half growl.
"That is a feral were," White-coat's voice answered. "With little or no human comprehension."
"A puppy," the first voice snarled, low undertones in his voice making my insides quiver. "Adolescent. All juvenile weres are under my jurisdiction, or did you forget that? Why have I never seen this were before today?"
The stink of animal musk filled my nostrils, and I opened my eyes.
I was on a large metal slab in an unfamiliar room. Something that smelled like leather was wrapped around my mouth, keeping it closed, and two chains looped around my neck to fasten it to the slab, efficiently holding me in place. A black-coat stood next to the slab, with a long blade in his hand that gleamed and stank of poisonous silver metal. He watched me with cold, impersonal eyes, and I would have shrunk away from him if I could.
I couldn't, though. I couldn't move at all. Even if I hadn't been tied down, my whole body was numb.
"I'm disputing that claim about her intelligence," Janice's voice came. "She listened, comprehended, and followed instructions during the evacuation. Her demeanor was not that of a wild animal. In fact, she behaved much like what I expect out of our students, which is why I failed to report her appearance."
Janice was standing with two more black-coats, White-coat, and a third man. The third man was where the scent of animal musk was coming from. He smelled like a large, dangerous predator, and he was angry. More black-coats lined the wall, and they smelled nearly as dangerous as the one with the poisonous blade.
"She's awake," the black-coat guarding me said.
"Before we settle the issue of jurisdiction, let us first identify our captive," one of the black-coats said. He had three lines of shiny metal on one sleeve, and dominance-smell was strong on him.
"Jane Doe," White-coat answered.
"Jane Doe," Striped-black-coat repeated. "And how long has our little Jane Doe been in your care?"
My body exploded from numbness to tingling, and I wriggled while White-coat hemmed and hawed. My eyes narrowed. Striped-black-coat had to be dominant to White-coat, but White-coat was avoiding the question. Had he been doing something his pack leader disapproved of? I woofed, the sound muffled by my muzzle, and every face in the room turned toward me.
"Forget this," the man who smelled like a beast said. "She's awake. I'll ask her."
"She can't talk," White-coat protested. "She's barely sentient!"
"Untie her please, Rufus. There are enough weapons here to contain her if she tries to run," Beast-man said, giving me a meaningful look.
I tried to look small.
"You sure?" t
he black-coat next to me asked.
"She seems to be coherent," Beast-man said. "If she were going to attack anyone, it would have been during her escape attempt. Multiple witnesses reported her lack of aggression. We'll be safe enough."
"As you say," Rufus answered.
The rest of the room took a cautious step back as Rufus undid my bonds. I stood up and stretched, my paws slipping on the slick metal, and then sat down. Rufus shifted to mirror my movement. I let my jaw drop in what I hoped was an endearing grin and thumped my tail on the slab. I did not want that poisonous metal blade anywhere near me.
"Jane Doe," Beast-man said, looking directly at me. "Do you understand what I am saying?"
I nodded, and White-coat swore.
"How many days have you been in Dr. Kline's custody?" Beast-man asked.
I blinked and snapped my teeth. With an uncertain grumble, I started tapping my foot on the table. White-coat—no, I corrected myself, Dr. Kline—started swearing again, and the black-coats in the doorway were looking grim. I stuttered to a stop somewhere after thirty, unable to remember a time when I wasn't in the cage, but also unsure about the passage of time. One of the black-coats reached for metal rings that were dangling from his belt.
"Four months!" Dr. Kline finally exploded. "She came in on a milking case with a few other kids."
I tilted my head tilted to the side, unable to remember. Had it really been four months? Where had I been before that?
"Tom, retrieve any files for Jane Doe wolves impounded in July," Striped-black-coat ordered.
"Yes, sir," one of the men at the door answered.
"Five days is the legal holding limit before a rogue were must be designated for rehabilitation or euthanization," Beast-man said.
Dr. Kline said nothing.
The humans waited in stony silence for the black-coat to return. Growing anxious, I started to pace. The slab was slippery, but it must have been made to hold creatures far larger than me, because it was the same size as my cage. That was comforting.
Five steps. Turn. Five steps. Turn. It was reassuring to flow to the sound that always whispered in the background. The only other noise was the rhythmic clicking of my toenails against metal. The scent of beast-man's rage grew steadily, enough so that I think even the humans' dead noses could detect it. Dr. Kline sweated, filling the room with the bitter tang of fear.