And she wondered.
Why was she having this reaction now? This urge to check things and reassure herself had plagued her most of her life. In recent years, she’d finally reached a measured amount of control and understanding about her perplexing feelings. When she was calm and collected, the urge dissipated and disappeared; when she was anxious or stressed, the feelings plagued her until she gave in.
Her shoes clicked against the cobblestone of the crowded street as she ran her fingers along the outline of the coins for a fifth time, and for a moment, she felt relief. She was obviously anxious or stressed, but why? She was returning money to a kind stranger; nothing more, nothing less. She would thank him and hand him the money and they would part ways forevermore. She definitely would be happy to see this matter come to an end, and she definitely would not look back at him when she walked away into the busy market… or hope he was looking back too.
But that wasn’t the truth and Ellie knew it. She was a pitiful liar and even worse at hiding her feelings. That didn’t mean that she knew what she was lying about, though. Or that she understood what she was feeling.
He was handsome, there was no denying that, and she didn’t mind at all taking a moment to ponder that truth. His silky raven hair appeared smoother than the fine silk her mother used to make expensive dresses, and his eyes—those deep, green eyes—were even softer and smoother than his hair. But this wasn’t the only reason she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
It was the way that he’d helped her, a complete stranger, with such care and kindness. No questions asked. No motives.
Well, he had kissed her for no apparent reason. She supposed that some people would consider that a motive, but she didn’t see it that way. He hadn’t planned the kiss. She could tell that the moment his lips touched hers. In that moment, for some reason she could not explain, it felt as if he needed her help just as much as she had needed his. In an odd way, she was glad for it. It was a nice feeling, being needed. And she had quite a weakness for helping.
But regardless of all that, she reminded herself, she didn’t know him and he didn’t know her. She should be furious he’d kissed her, for whatever reason, without at least asking first.
She was furious.
Wasn’t she?
Her footsteps echoed against the stone walls of the corridor and she patted her pocket to their cadence. Six times now but she didn’t feel any better. She let her finger loosen the ties of the pocket and slip inside where she tumbled the coins in her hand. As one last measure she pulled them out where she could see them, and they glinted in the light as she exited the corridor.
Two shiny pennies.
One handsome stranger.
More mysterious feelings than she could count.
“Interest makes it three.”
The voice whisked into Ellie’s ear so quickly and the touch against her lower back was so light and unexpected, that her fingers fumbled and the pennies went flying through the air. With a frantic dash she threw herself towards them, hands grasping, body pushing against those around her. For a moment she lost sight of them and she felt her stomach drop, but just as the tears began to well up in her eyes, she saw a glint of copper to her right. She inhaled sharply and darted her arm and body towards the coins, only to be greeted by a sharp shove against her back that sent her flying.
“Ouch!” Ellie landed on all fours with the full force of her weight just in time to see a rather filthy looking young man place a coin in his pocket and run away. With a heavy heart Ellie lifted her right hand out of the mud and saw that indeed, she’d only managed to save one of the coins.
“Are you alri—”
“Oh no... There’s only one now!” Ellie’s stomach went sour as she forced herself back into a standing position. She held the coin tightly in her right hand as she tried to brush off the dirt and grime on her dress with her left hand. After a moment she realized that the man from the day before was standing there looking at her with mild amusement and it made her feel overly self-conscious. Even more so than usual. “Oh. Here you go. I’m sorry there’s only one now…” She held out her arm and dropped the now soiled penny into his hand.
“It’s not shiny anymore.”
“What?”
“I saw you shining them up in your hands when I came up behind you but it’s not shiny anymore. Now it’s covered with mud.” He held the coin out to her.
“I wasn’t shini… That’s not…” Ellie put one hand on her hip and ran the back of the other along her forehead. “I’m sorry, just let me…” She reached out and took the coin from him and began to wipe the mud off on her skirt.
“What are you—”
“Here you go,” she said as she handed the once again shiny penny back to the stranger. “And I’ll get you the other two pence as soon as I can.”
“Wait. No, I didn’t mean—”
“But I just don’t know when—I’m not sure how long—I just—” Ellie shook her head and shrugged as she lifted her hands above her head. “Soon,” she said evenly. “Soon. Not that I find this fair at all, but I suppose that I can—”
The stranger smirked and pressed his first finger against her lip. Ellie felt a tiny start of energy begin to burn inside. “Would you just stop?” he asked.
“I don’t understand…” she mumbled against his finger.
“No.” He shook his head. “Please. For just a moment.”
“But I just—”
“For the love of God! Do you want to owe me four—”
“Four! But—” Ellie felt her eyes grow wide. She tried to pull away but the stranger put one hand on her lower back and held her tight. Ellie told herself that she should try again, that she should fight back, but surprisingly she had absolutely no desire to do anything of the sort. His hand seemed to fit there in the small of her back, like it somehow belonged, and her body molded into his in just the same manner. It felt wonderful and right. Her face flushed with the thought.
“I suppose you could just kiss me again.”
Ellie let the warming thought fly away. “Why, I never!” She put both hands firmly on his chest and pushed. It didn’t take that much effort though. He appeared to understand her perfectly and he held both his hands in front of him and took one step back.
Ellie nodded her head in his direction and crossed her arms. “I’ll get you the money I owe you but I won’t—I already let you kiss me once, without even asking for an explanati—”
“I didn’t mean we should kiss again any more than I meant it when I said you owed me three pence, or four. I didn’t mean it when I said you owed me the first two pence either!” When Ellie said nothing and continued to glare at him, he smiled and added, “It was a jest. I was teasing. You know, just having a good laugh? People usually find my teasing endearing.” He adjusted his collar with a confident flick of the hands.
“Well, I don’t know who these people are but I’m not one of them.”
“Yes. I’m beginning to see that.”
Ellie threw hands in the air and then slapped her sides. “Then why are you even here meeting me if you didn’t want the money repaid?”
“Well, I said for you to meet me here, didn’t I? What kind of man would I be if I just left you here waiting? Besides, I knew you’d bring the money and I wanted to come let you off the hook. I figured you’d worry forever about returning it to me otherwise.”
“I would not!” Ellie pushed out her bottom lip in protest before sighing and twisting her mouth to the side. “You think I’m stuffy and stiff and don’t understand humor, don’t you?” Ellie pointed a finger at him while she plopped her other hand awkwardly on her hip. “I’ll have you know, I enjoy a witty spar just as much as the next person. It’s only that—it’s only when it’s at my expense—and—and—”
“And when you let yourself get so flustered and nervous that you overlook the subtleties of a conversation and take everything at face value?” His smiled glowed with satisfaction. “And you could d
o with a little loosening up. Since you asked my opinion.”
“But I didn’t ask—Hmmph.” Ellie crossed her arms again and looked down so he wouldn’t see the red on her cheeks. He was right, but that didn’t mean she wanted him to know. “So, you didn’t mean it then, right? I don’t owe you any money?”
“Not a cent.”
“Well, then can I have—” she began as she reached out her arm, but he’d already beat her to it and plopped the penny back into her hand. With a careful motion he folded her fingers around it and then patted her closed hand. “Oh, thank you.”
“Of course.”
“What about the kissing? You didn’t mean it when you said I should—we should—kiss—I mean…”
The man didn’t answer but Ellie saw his lip twitch as he patted her hand once more.
“Do you mean anything you say?” she asked tentatively trying another way to get the answer to her previous question.
“Well…” his voice trailed off and when Ellie looked up at those velvety eyes she saw they were focused on something behind her, just as they had been the day before.
“What are you—”
“This street is getting a bit too crowded…”
Ellie raised her brow. “But this street is always crowded…”
“Not this crowded.” He cradled her chin in his hand and made her look at him. “Do you understand?”
He was still being followed.
She nodded her head, letting the pads of his fingers gently glide along her skin. A soft sigh rose up in her throat but she swallowed it.
“Come along. Quickly.”
She didn’t even know his name. Still. All that had happened and she’d still forgotten to ask. Ellie knew she should refuse his command but when she felt her heart beat faster in anticipation, she knew she couldn’t. And she didn’t want to.
So for the second time in just as many days, Ellie let herself be swept away.
***
Her hand felt rather nice in his. Much nicer than Cal would have liked to admit. He’d promised himself that if he came to meet her today he wouldn’t let her compassion, her endearing quirks, or her soft feminine features cloud his judgment. But he couldn’t ignore that the speed of his heart and the sweat on his palms had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they were running.
Again.
Compassionate and selfless or not, this nameless woman did not deserve to be put in this situation. More to the point, these were exact reasons why she deserved to be left alone.
“I should have just let you go yesterday…”
“What?” she asked curiously.
“When you asked how to return my money, I should have just called it a draw. I helped you and you helped me…”
“I didn’t do anything...”
“Sure you did,” he said as he looked back at her with a smirk.
“But how…” As realization struck her she let her mouth gape, but that quickly transformed into a smile. It was clear she couldn’t control her reaction and that she didn’t want him to see it. When she realized he was looking at her, her face turned bright red and she made every effort to look away from him.
“Regardless, of all of that, I shouldn’t have agreed to meet you today. I knew this would end up happening again.”
“I don’t mind.”
“I know you don’t. But that doesn’t justify my actions.”
“Sure it does. I think you weren’t done needing me yet. You just didn’t know it.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly. What a strange and delightful woman. It felt wonderful to be cared for, especially by a stranger with no reason to do so, but it also made him feel extremely guilty.
He didn’t deserve her compassion but a small part of him felt she might be right. He hadn’t wanted to admit it, but he was glad that she’d allowed herself to run off with him once more. He was glad that he was not alone.
But he would have more company, unwanted company, if he didn’t think quickly.
Before coming to find her, Cal took advantage of their rendezvous point in an attempt to continue his investigation of the mill conditions. It was his mill but he couldn’t just walk in the front door and talk to whomever he pleased. Even without the shareholder opposition that forced him to conduct his investigations in secret, he knew it would be nearly impossible to get the truth from the workers if they knew who he was.
Most of his information thus far had come from the mill managers, but now it seemed he had reached a dead end. They never said as much, but Cal suspected that they had figured out who he was. He didn’t make a very convincing union leader but it was also equally as likely that someone had actually told them who he was and warned them against talking to him. Whatever the case, it hadn’t stopped them from talking to him entirely, but he felt they were holding back the complete truth.
He could see the struggle they were facing in their eyes. They needed reform but they also needed to feed their family, which wasn’t an easy task on the income they earned as it was. Having no income would destroy their lives even more. It was heartbreaking. It made Cal want to fight even harder.
There was also the matter that many of the mill managers were better off than the people they managed and therefore, not privy to all of the worst hardships. Because of this he’d recently decided that the only way he could get the real truth about what was going on in the mills was to talk to the ordinary workers, and to do so outside of their work environment whenever possible. It was less likely these people had been threatened and even less likely that they would know who he was. As such, he’d spent the last several weeks immersing himself into their lives and gaining their trust under the guise of being a union leader from out of town interested in joining forces. Today he’d decided to stop by one of the mills to talk with a few acquaintances, but he should have known better than to show himself around a mill again in the daytime so soon. As he’d suspected the day before, the shareholders were having him followed and watched, and they had been waiting for him hidden away near the mill. Cal had narrowly escaped.
“We need to find somewhere to hide,” Cal said.
Bless this woman, she didn’t even question him. Instead, with a slight catch in her voice she said, “That shouldn’t be too difficult around here.”
Cal knew exactly what she meant. “No, I suppose not.”
This working class area of town around the central commercial district was one that most people forgot about, and everyone who lived here and lived this life was forgotten along with it. As much as that pulled at Cal’s insides he couldn’t dwell on it now. He needed a place to hide and this was exactly the place for someone trying to stay hidden.
“What about there?” The woman ran up next to him and pointed off to the right.
Up ahead there was a tiny alley jutting off the already narrow road. Cal nodded his head and they both took a deep breath before picking up the pace. They made a quick turn down the tapered side street where Cal found exactly what he was looking for: a wayward inn where rooms could be rented by the hour.
As they approached the inn and slowed their pace, the woman came up to his left side where he saw the wide eyed look of nervousness in her eyes.
“What’s the matter?” Cal asked as they finally stood still, side by side. “Never seen a brothel before?”
“What? That’s a brothel?” The woman’s voice was a nearly indiscernible squeak and her face turned a rather alarming shade of white.
“God, no. Brothels are much nicer than this.”
She looked the building up and down several times. He had to admit, it was a rather alarming sight. Old wood, black with decay, and windows so smudged that they were opaque. Her mouth opened and closed as she looked back to him but no words came out right away.
“I—it was just—” Cal sighed and rubbed the space between his brows. “It was another jest. Honestly. This isn’t a brothel.”
“Oh, I know. I was just disturbed by the thought of you—you know—in a brot
hel doing—doing—things…” She circled her hand in front of her from stomach to mouth as if trying to get the words to come out. When that failed, she covered her face with both hands. “You’re right. I have no capacity for humor after all…”
Cal shook his head with an amused smile. “Quite the contrary. Humor is a game of intelligence and it’s clear you have plenty of it, whether or not you were able to verbalize your thoughts without embarrassment.”
“I’m not embarasse—” She let out a deep sigh. “Oh, lord. Let’s just get this over with.” She linked her arm in his and took his hand as they made their way towards the inn. “What shall we tell them?”
Cal didn’t object to her touch, in fact he rather enjoyed the feel of her so close to him. Although she was fashionably dressed, she didn’t wear gloves like most women he knew. And when she laid her small hand on his he could tell that she didn’t have hands like most women he knew either. In contrast to her well-bred appearance and demeanor her hands held the signs of gentle wear. This knowledge comforted him, and made him feel warm and calm and even safe. But it was more than that. It was more than the physical touch and the awareness it gave to him. It reached deeper. It was the way she touched him with such familiarity, closeness, and trust. It made him feel, if even for just a moment, that everything was brighter than it seemed.
“What shall we tell who?” Cal asked as he relaxed against her.
“The shopkeeper. Or the bartender… or would it be an innkeeper? I’ve never been to a place like this before…”
“I should think not.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“I do,” Cal responded. “But they won’t ask or even care who the two of us are, or what we’re doing here at the inn. I guarantee we’ll be the most unmemorable people they’ve seen all week.”
“But… but isn’t that the exact reason why we will be memorable? I mean we should at least have an explanation, shouldn’t we? Some kind of story?” There was a hint of unease in her voice.
“Why?” God dammit. It wasn’t as if he’d expected her not to figure it out. She’d have to be a bloody fool not to realize that they were running for a reason. That didn’t mean he wanted to acknowledge that to her now, if ever. The less she knew the better for both of them.
Love and Other Wicked Games (A Wicked Game Novel) Page 5