“Fuck, Bella,” he growls when I finally start to come down and my body melts into the truck seat. “You’re stunning,” he whispers as he slowly pulls his fingers from me. He sweetly zips my pants before resting on top of me, kissing me softly.
“Garrett,” I murmur ready to stay just like this forever.
“Baby, movie’s over. Let me get us out of here,” he tells me and I don’t even care that we missed the end of the movie.
Garrett helps me back in my seat and covers me with me the blanket then fastens my seatbelt for me. He quickly situates himself then starts the truck. As we make our way back into town, we hold hands. Somewhere during the drive, I doze off. I awake in the driveway of my house cursing myself for falling asleep instead of talking to Garrett or even just staring at him.
After another passionate goodbye in my living room, Garrett leaves. I almost asked him to stay and maybe he sensed it, because he took the choice from me when he gave me a sweet final goodbye kiss and left.
The next few days, Garrett and I spend every moment possible together whether it be at my house or us going out somewhere. I’ve fallen hard and I want to tell him, but I know the time is not right. He definitely has walls and I’m not sure why. There’s been times he’s been over watching movies with me, and it’s been so late when he decides to leave that I have offered to let him stay. I mean, I want him stay. I’m desperate to fall asleep and wake up in his arms. Even so, knowing for some reason he won’t. I’ve suggested the couch or the guest room but each time he turns me down. I’ve fallen asleep in his arms while watching television only to wake with him tucking me into bed then saying goodbye. His eyes look tortured every time he leaves me so I know he wants to stay as much I as I want him to. With every fiber of my being, I know he wants to give in. I don’t know if he’s fallen as far as me, but he can’t fake the feelings coming off him. His kiss, touch, even the way he moans reveal that I've come to mean as much to him as he does to me. Why he won’t take it to the next level is the only thing he’s not giving away. We’ve haven’t gone as far as we did the night at the drive-in, but the need is there.
It’s Friday and I have the day off. Garrett picks me up as we've planned to go out for lunch. I’m not sure what to plan for the weekend, but something clicks as I gaze at him across the table.
“Garrett, I have something I want you to see. It may take a bit. Do you have time?”
After spending all the time I have with Garrett, I’m finally smiling and happy again, and I want the same for him. Plus, I haven’t received any more calls, messages or threats from Tad so I’ve been able to finally relax.
“I have time.” We finish our meal and make our way back to his truck.
“Take me to my house so I can grab a few things and then we’ll head to the lake.” I tell him, having a hard time containing my excitement.
He pulls up at my house and we go inside. I rush up to my room to collect a couple of pillows from my bed, and then hurry back downstairs.
“Just a couple of more things and I’ll be ready, okay? Do you need anything?” I ask, remembering my manners as I toss the pillows on my couch.
Garrett remains silent, his eyes hooded. He takes two long strides over to me and our bodies meet. He lowers his head to kiss me but stops just before. He’s waiting for me. He’s waiting to see if I want him as much as he wants me. Why he would question my desire for him I’m not sure. He’s never done this before and I shiver. I run my hands up his shirt until I wrap them around his neck. I rise up on my very tip of my toes and push my lips to his. Our lips, then tongues meet, and I whimper as he groans and intensifies the kiss. His arms wrap around me tight, lifting me from the ground giving me the opportunity to devour him. I run my kisses down his jaw, then his neck and just like every time we’re close I feel complete. Love is all that my mind, heart and body feel when I’m with him.
Never long enough, we part and Garrett sets me back on my feet. In a daze, I head to a closet and grab a couple of heavy blankets I keep downstairs for cold winter nights. The large house can sometimes become drafty. I toss them on the couch with the pillows and spend a few seconds pondering if I’m forgetting anything. Food. I go into the kitchen and grab an old wicker picnic basket that my grandma left in the house. I grab strawberries, blueberries, cream cheese, a few bottles of water and beer from the fridge. Searching through my cabinets, I find some crackers and pretzels so I toss them inside the basket too. I take one last look around and I can’t think of anything else. I decide to have Garrett stop by the sandwich shop down the street before we get on the road. I know we just ate, but by the time we get there and settle it will be close to dinner time. I latch the hooks on the picnic basket and start back for the door, but when I turn, Garrett is there and he takes the basket from me. Without a word, he grabs the blankets while I grab the pillows and we head back out to his truck we go to load up. When he pulls the seat back to store the blankets and pillows, I notice a guitar case.
“Do you play guitar, Garrett?” I ask, surprised.
“Not in a long time.” He lowers the seat not elaborating further.
Okay, I didn't expect that response. I decide not to push it and hop in the truck.
After stopping at the sandwich shop up the street, I direct Garrett to get on the highway and head towards Canyon Lake. My parents own five acres of land right on the lake and it has a small sandy beach and dock. My dad hasn’t built on it yet, but he talks about it being the site for him to build his and my mom’s retirement home. For now, we just drive up occasionally and maintain it and sometimes camp out. The coolest part of the land and the main reason my mom and dad bought it, is because of its view and the private beach access.
During one visit, my dad pulled his truck up and faced it towards our shoreline. Later that evening, my sister and I were sitting on the truck’s tailgate talking when we noticed the sunset. It was breathtaking. Off in the distance, over the rolling hills, the sun was going to sleep and the sky was a deep beautiful purple and black mixed in with a brilliant orange and red. Such a contrast. Never would I think of putting these colors together but God did, and it was stunning. Across the land you can see Live Oaks that appeared to be nothing more than shadows. It boarded on being ominous, but it was more beautiful than anything. By the time the sun had fully set, my sister and I were laid out in the bed of the truck looking into space. The sky was lit up with billions of brilliant stars. Since that night, I’ve wanted to come back but haven’t. For some reason it came to me earlier that I should bring Garrett here.
An hour and half later, Garrett takes the turnoff to our property and my heartbeat picks up.
“The shoreline is there.” I point to the east. “Park facing it and then if it’s okay, we’ll sit on your tailgate.”
Garrett smiles and nods as he pulls forward, puts the truck in park then turns off the engine. We both get out and unload the truck, placing everything in the bed. I take the blankets and spread them out along with the pillows.
I walk over to the edge of the tailgate and I’m about to jump to the ground when Garrett strolls over, and lifts me by hips, hoisting me like I weigh no more than a feather and places me on my feet. His strength throws me off for a moment. I come back to myself, thank him, grab his hand and guide him down the shore. When we reach the sand, we both stop and stare out over the water. My stomach flips when I think about Garrett being here with me. I feel like this is the person I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with and it’s scary because I don’t know if he feels the same. Big warm arms wrap around me, engulfing me from behind as Garrett rests his head on top of mine. This, in Garrett’s arms, it feels right. So right. I rest my hands on Garrett’s arms and lean back into him. We stand like that for a little while before I pull away and lead him down to the dock.
“You fish?” I ask him.
“Used to,” he responds, not meeting my eyes.
I don’t say anything just return my focus to the glistening water.
&
nbsp; “Do you?”
I glance up at his question, but he’s still staring out at the water.
“Eh.” I offer as a response.
“Eh?” Garrett inquires, finally looking down at me and grinning.
“I’ve never caught a fish. I’ve tried. A lot. But I do enjoy fish, as you know.”
Garrett laughs. “Is this what you wanted to show me? ‘Cause I like it. It’s really nice up here, baby.”
“Part of it, yes. But there’s more. Come on.”
We make our way back to the truck, and I point out where the rest of property is. Garrett helps me up on the tailgate and pulls the picnic basket towards me so I can unpack it.
“Hungry?” I ask, but Garrett doesn’t say anything. My eyes search him out, and he's fixated on me and my movements. The intensity in his eyes causes heat to begin flowing through me. Finally he responds.
“Sure,” he offers and gives me a soft smile.
Once I get everything set up, I peek over at the horizon and see it’s almost time. Garrett’s been leaning against his truck with his arms resting on the edge of the bed.
“Would you like to join me?”
My eyes follow him as he bypasses his side of the tailgate and comes directly to me. When he stands in front of me, I open my legs, making room for him. He comes forward, rests between my thighs, and places his palms gently on the top of them. We keep each other’s stare until our lips finally touch, my eyes closed in bliss. I rest my hands on his thick forearms and squeeze, slowly sliding them up his arms as our kiss deepens. When I reach his neck, I wrap my arms around him tugging him closer. He shifts his hands until they’re around me, and our kiss intensifies. The only part of us not touching is my legs that are hanging loose over the tailgate and eventually those find their way around Garrett’s hips.
Neither of us is going to be able to take this much longer. I want and need to be with him. We both take a deep breath and rest our foreheads against each other. When Garrett finally speaks, I release my arms from his neck. “Bella, baby, we need to stop now or I won’t be able to.”
“Okay,” I whisper. My heart screams don’t stop, but my head whispers we should take more time if that’s what he needs, no matter how strong my desire is for him. Garrett steps away, but only to sit on the tailgate with me.
I hand him a sandwich and then start opening the chips and containers of berries before passing him a beer. I pick up my sandwich then face west to watch the sun begin its descent into the hills of Texas. Taking a bite, I glance over to find Garrett frozen in place. He sits his food down and leans forward like he’s hurt and covers his face with his hands. My food falls from my hands and I jump down and rush to him.
“Garrett, what’s wrong?” My voice catches in my throat.
He doesn’t answer. He just shakes his head, causing panic and fear to rise in me.
“Garrett, honey?” I keep repeating, while nestling between his legs and gently touching his forearms. “Garrett, please.”
He shocks me when he forcefully sets me away from him and then slides off the tailgate. He takes a couple of steps and then falls to his knees.
“Garrett, my God. What’s wrong?” I beg him to tell me.
I pull him into a hug. He reaches around me, wrapping me in his arms tightly, his entire body shaking.
“Garrett, listen to me. I need you to talk to me.” I run my fingers through his hair trying to soothe him.
“The sunset. Always something bad at sundown.” Agony, there's nothing but agony in his words that aren’t making sense.
The sunset?
I glance at the horizon where the sun is setting before attempting to slide away so I can talk to him but his embrace only intensifies not allowing me to move.
“When the sun sets, the devil sends out his demons.” His words send shivers across my body and I feel his fear. It makes me want to hide with him, but I pull myself together. I know I need to be strong for him so I move as close as I can, protecting him. I feel my body fill with heat, anger. I look around for a threat but I know it’s only in his mind. None the less, I ready myself for a fight.
“Garrett, listen to me. Wherever you are in your mind, you’re not there now. You’re here. You’re here with me. Talk to me.” I get loose enough to fall to my knees in front of him. “Tell me what you see so I can help, please.”
He groans and his grip lessens. He leans into me, turns his face into my hair and starts talking.
“I patrolled at sunset. Seemed every fucking day another brother was lost while out on their mission. I used to dress and wonder if this one would be my last sunset. That knowledge washed away the memories of before. I thought once I got back it would be different, the sunsets. Now, I’m home and I find no relief because of what happened before. Sometimes I wish I never made it back.”
What? Oh, my God. Before?
“Garrett, look at me,” I attempt pulling him back but all he does is shake his head. “Please,” I plead.
He raises his face from my neck and when I stare into his beautiful blue eyes that seem so broken, tears fill mine.
“Garrett, you’re here. With me. Just us. No one can hurt you, and you’re not going to lose me.” I promise, my words trembling in pain for him.
He shakes and lowers his head, but I bring his face back to mine. He’s injured and scared of losing someone else he cares about so he’s holding back. I do what I can to reassure him.
“This sunset, it’s ours. You’re not there or wherever you were before. Look around.” He hesitantly glances around and focuses on the sunset. As he does, I keep my hands on him. “You’re okay now.” Garrett’s gaze comes back to me and I lean in and gently place my lips on his, doing anything to pull him back from where he is in his thoughts, but he doesn't respond. He’s still tense and small tremors are rumbling throughout his body. I lower my lips to his again.
“You’re okay.” I reassure him, and then kiss him again. This time he parts his lips a little allowing me in. I softly rest my lips against his and touch my tongue to his bottom lip. He brings his hands to my waist and grips me tight. I keep going as I kiss his cheeks, then his nose and make my way back to his lips. This time, when I go in for a kiss, he opens and lets me in.. I moan and he deepens the kiss. After a few moments, we break our connection. In his eyes, I see more of the Garrett I came with.
“God, Bella, I’m so sorry. I ruined this.”
“No, Garrett. You did anything but ruin tonight.”
The sun is now down, the orange and red vanishing to the other side of the world. The black and purple are now caressing the sky with billions of brilliant stars twinkling.
“It’s over,” I whisper.
Garrett stands us and leads us back to the truck.
“Do you want to leave?” I ask, still worried for him. He glances at me then back to the shore.
“I was about to ask you the same thing.”
“As long as I’m with you, I don’t care where we are.” He nods, satisfied with my answer.
“Come on. Let’s finish eating.” He rubs his hands down his face, still trying to find calm.
We sit back on the tailgate, and I debate asking a question as I pick up my sandwich even though I’ve lost my appetite. I want to know, but caution halts me. I don’t want to overwhelm him or have him retreat. In the end, I decide to gently ask and hope he doesn't close off from me again.
“Is it just sunsets?”
He looks at me out of the corner of his eye for a few moments before he answers.
“No. I’m sorry to say, it’s not. I used to love fireworks. Now? I find myself hating New Year’s Eve and the fourth of July. I used to love to play my guitar and sing. Cody taught me,” he confesses.
“That’s Allie’s brother, Cody?”
“Yeah. We used to play all the time.” I’m not sure what to say so I just listen. “Hasn’t been the same since they’re gone. Not sure what to do with myself. I'd sit with them on top of our Bradley and talk about h
ome while waiting to go on patrol. Cody talked about the place his sister and him were going to open. Michael talked about taking his family and moving to California. I told them about me. They were the only two who knew the good, the bad and the ugly.”
I want to argue with Garrett and tell him he’s all good, but instead I remain silent and let him share his nightmares with me.
“We pulled nights. Sun went down; we knew we’d be heading out. The last sunset I sat and watched over there was the one before I lost Michael and Cody. Was so messed up after that, I got sent home, only I didn’t have a home to come back to. Sunsets have always been a trigger for me but watching them with Cody and Michael, they didn’t bother me so much. Now I avoid them now altogether. Sorry. I didn’t know it would be this bad, Bella.”
Sunsets? I can’t even imagine what’s happened to him.
“Garrett, please don’t apologize. Have you gone for help?” I gently ask.
Garrett drops his head and shakes it before looking at me. “When I first came back I was sent to see doctors. I wasn’t really receptive at the time.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Jesse and Jack, they gave me the names of a couple of support groups. I’m going next week with Jesse.”
“That’s good, honey.” I reach over and take his hand. “I’m here too. You can talk to me if you need to.” I promise. He doesn’t acknowledge my offer other than squeezing my hand.
“Listen, Bella, I’m really sorry. I know I ruined this, and it was really sweet of you. You offered me this earlier on so I only think it’s fair that I return the gesture.” He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Do you want me to just take you home?” He hops off the bed of the truck, so sure I'm going to say yes. I don’t speak. I just shake my head and sit my sandwich back down. I scoot back on the blankets and lay my head down on one of the pillows and gaze up at the stars.
Before I can think better of it, I sit back up and meet Garrett's questioning gaze.
Salvation At Sunset (A McGinty's Of San Antonio Series Novel Book 5) Page 6