"What are you going to do?"
"Well, Jensen wants me to move in with him," I told him, tensing for his response. He let out a sigh and looked away, his hand running through his beard. "I haven't decided yet," I added quietly.
"Do you want to live with him?" he asked meeting my eyes again.
"I do, but I'm terrified of messing up our relationship," I said. "What if it's a bad decision?"
"Haven't you guys basically been living together anyway?" he asked. "When was the last time you guys willing spent a night apart?"
"When he was in the hospital," I admitted.
"If you moved somewhere else, would you sleep there alone?"
"You sure ask a lot of questions," I deflected.
"It's a hazard of my occupation," he confessed with a smirk. "And you're deflecting."
"Fine," I admitted. "Then no, I probably wouldn't sleep there. Jensen's place feels more comfortable. It feels like..." I trailed off uncomfortably, not wanting to admit the truth.
"Home?" he prompted me with a pointed look.
"Isn't it too soon?"
"Ordinarily, I'd say that" he said, "but you guys are good for each other. I can see it. He loves you so much, and I've seen how he looks at you. I don't think I've ever looked at any woman the way he looks at you."
I felt myself blush as I looked down at my hands. I knew what he was talking about. I loved the way Jensen looked at me, like I was the only woman in the world.
"It's the same look that's on your face right now," David said quietly. I glanced up and met his warm smile.
"I'm just so scared, David," I confessed.
"That's why you're going to think about it," he said. "And if all else fails, you can move in with me. Although it'd be a waste of a perfectly good guest room if you kept all your stuff in it without even sleeping there," he added with a smile.
"Thanks David." I returned his smile. He nodded in acknowledgment. I glanced at my watch. "Oh, shit. I've got to go or I'll be late getting back to work." I grabbed my purse to pay for my lunch.
"Go on, Syd," he said with a wave of his hand. "I've got this. Consider it part of your birthday present."
"Have I ever told you how awesome you are?" I asked him with a wide grin.
"It's almost frightening how awesome I am, isn't it?" he answered with a wink.
I rolled my eyes at him as I stood to leave. "I'll see ya later."
"Bye, Syd."
I made it back to work with only minutes to spare and spent the afternoon running nonstop. The time flew by, and at five I headed to my place to grab some clothes for the weekend, since I hadn't had time this morning.
I picked up the mail before heading upstairs, and my phone beeped with an incoming text as I entered the elevator. I pulled my phone out and saw it was from Jensen.
You'll beat me home. I left a key under the doormat. I want you to keep it.
I smiled. Why did I suddenly feel like the "please move in with me" campaign had just begun?
What are you doing? I asked.
Shopping. Well, that was vague.
For what?
A birthday present.
What are getting me? I couldn't help asking.
Who said it was for you? He sent back.
Ha, Ha. See you soon. Love you.
Love you, too.
I walked out of the elevator and down the hall to my apartment, letting myself in. I dropped my purse and the stack of mail on the kitchen table. It only took a few minutes to pack some clothes, then I stood in my room looking around. It wouldn't be my room for much longer. I thought I might feel sad about that thought, but I don't think I would miss this place much. I think there was somewhere else I was meant to be, and that was with Jensen. It was inevitable. I just couldn't say it out loud yet. I hoped he could be patient with me, until I could completely admit it to myself.
I headed back to the kitchen with my bag to collect my purse, and an envelope caught my eye. It was addressed to me, and the return address was from the Department of Justice. A sudden sick dread rushed through me. I ripped the envelope open, pulled out the letter, and stared at it in shock. It suddenly felt like the walls were falling in as pure panic slammed into me. I clutched the paper in my fist, grabbed my purse, and fled my apartment. Only one thought registered in my head. I had to get to Jensen.
Chapter Four
Jensen
If it hadn't been for Sydney's car in the driveway, I would have thought she wasn't here. The condo was completely silent as I stepped into the empty living room. I had an eerie flashback of last Saturday when I came home to find her gone. The thought gave me the chills. I glanced at the coffee table, saw Sydney's purse sitting there, and let out a sigh of relief.
"Sydney, baby?" I called out to her. There was no reply. She must be upstairs. I smiled as I pictured her naked in my bed waiting for me. I dropped my shopping bags on the floor and hurried upstairs to find her. I walked into my room to find her lying on the bed on her side in a fetal position facing me. I could hear her quiet sobs as I approached her. "Baby?" I asked softly. "What's wrong?"
Her eyes popped open and focused on me. The anguish on her face was devastating. She reached out to me, and I rushed over to her, pulling her into my lap and cradling her against my body. Her sobs became louder as she clung desperately to me, her fists clenching into my shirt. I'd never seen her like this, and it terrified me.
"Shh." I tried to reassure her. "I'm here. I've got you, baby." I let her cry, knowing she literally couldn't communicate right now. I'd have to be patient until she calmed down. I waited until she stopped sobbing and was just holding onto me before I spoke again. "What's going on, Sydney? What happened?"
"Th...the letter," she sobbed out, motioning to the mattress. I glanced over and saw a crumpled piece of paper on the bed next to us. I reached over and picked it up. I read through it in confusion. It was a notice for a parole hearing for some guy named Jackson Rollins.
"Who's this Jackson Rollins guy?" I asked her, causing another round of uncontrollable sobbing.
"My...my parents..." she stammered out between sobs, her body convulsing in her grief. "He...he killed m...my parents."
"Oh, my God," I whispered as realization hit me. I knew her parents had died, but I had never asked how. I wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it, and I didn't want to pry. I just assumed it had been some sort of accident. I had no idea they'd been murdered. "I didn't know," I mumbled numbly as I put the paper down on the bed and hugged her to me. I hadn't known the extent of the pain she was carrying inside her. It made me realize just how strong she really was, and how much she truly understood what I was going through.
"He murdered them and I..." she forced out, her voice thick from crying. Her body hitched with another sob.
"Shh," I told her, kissing her forehead softly. "You don't have to talk about it right now, baby."
My heart ached as she continued crying. I had so many questions, but now wasn't the time. She just needed me to be here for her. She needed to let it all out and know she was safe to do that with me. I lifted her up and rolled onto my side, tucking her back against my chest with my arms still around her. I held her that way until she quieted down, her body finally relaxing against me. Her breathing deepened and slowed until she fell asleep, then I carefully extricated myself from her and got up off the bed. I stood there staring at her, running a hand through my hair feeling lost and helpless to do anything for her.
I turned and left her to rest, deciding to order us some dinner. She needed to eat, and I couldn't think of anything else to do for her right now. I went downstairs to the kitchen and pulled out the take-out menus. I ordered a pizza and then ended up pacing around the living room. I'm surprised that I hadn't worn a path into the carpet with all the pacing I'd been doing in here lately. I stopped in the middle of the room, gripping my hair in both hands and feeling anxious and jittery. It was starting to feel like a panic attack was coming on. I needed to talk to somebody. I hastily
pulled my phone out of my pocket, and called the one person that I knew could help me.
"Jensen," David answered in a smooth tone. "What's up?"
"I...I need your help," I said in a tense, wavering voice.
"What's going on?" he asked, his voice suddenly turning serious.
"It's Sydney," I told him. "She...she got this letter about a parole hearing for the guy who killed her parents." I heard him let out a deep sigh.
"Is she okay?" David asked, concern filling his voice.
"I don't know," I said as tears filled my eyes. "She had a complete break down, and she's sleeping right now."
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"No," I blurted out anxiously. "I'm feeling helpless and panicky. I've never seen her like this before." My breathing was getting heavier, and I started pacing again.
"Jensen," he spoke my name calmly. "Focus on your breathing like I told you yesterday. Slow it down and try to breathe through your belly. Let go, relax, and just go with it. It'll pass."
"Okay," I answered breathlessly as I sat on the couch. He talked me through almost a dozen or so deep breaths until I calmed down.
"Better?" he finally asked.
"Yeah," I answered gratefully.
"Good job," David praised me. I started to feel guilty that I needed to be coddled while Sydney was suffering alone upstairs.
"I didn't know, David," I told him quietly. "I had no idea they were murdered. What happened? I don't want to make her talk about it." I heard him take in a breath and let it out slowly before speaking.
"She sneaked out to go to a party her parents told her she couldn't go to. When she came home, she found them bound and beaten to death in the kitchen. The guy tortured them for hours before he killed them," David said in a subdued voice. "She was only fifteen years old."
I closed my eyes and felt my body deflate. My poor Sydney, no wonder she was so upset. If that fucking piece of shit got let out of prison, she'd never be the same again. I felt rage filling me. I'd kill that bastard myself if that happened.
"If there's a parole hearing, she'll have to go make a statement. That fucker will be there," David told me in an angry voice.
"Fuck," I growled.
"Did the letter say when the hearing is?"
"I think it's a couple of weeks from now."
"Good," he said. "That will give her time to prepare for it."
"What the fuck should I do right now?"
"Go be with her," he suggested. "Don't push or pry. Just be there."
"Okay."
"Do you want me to come over?" David asked.
"I don't know," I said uncertainly. "I guess that's up to her."
"I don't want to overwhelm her," he said after a pause. "If she needs me, call me."
"Alright," I agreed, feeling really out of my depth here.
"And Jensen?" he added. "I know you love her, just take care of her like she takes care of you."
"I will," I assured him. "I promise."
"I trust you with her," he told me, his voice sure.
"I love her more than anything," I said softly. "I'll take care of her."
"I know you will," David said with certainty in his tone. "Call me if you need me."
"Okay." I ended the call.
I went upstairs quietly and found that she was still asleep. I picked the letter up and went back downstairs, not wanting her to see it again when she woke up. I sat on the couch with the letter in my hands, staring at the name of the bastard who fucked up Sydney's life until the doorbell rang. The sound startled me. I place the letter next to Sydney's purse on the coffee table and went to answer the door. I paid for the pizza and carried it into the kitchen.
The pizza smelled good, but I wasn't even hungry anymore. I placed it on the table then I went back upstairs to Sydney, took off my shoes, and crawled onto the bed with her. I carefully gathered her into my arms again, needing the comfort of her smell as much as she needed me to hold her. She snuggled in close to me, and I thought she was still asleep until she began speaking.
"Make it go away," she whispered raggedly.
"What?" I asked her softly.
"Just for a little while," she continued.
"What do you need, baby?"
"You," she whispered with desperation as she rolled to face me. Her hands came up to my cheeks, and she pulled my face toward hers. She kissed me softly, and I couldn't help the needy moan that flowed out of me. "Make me forget about everything but you," she pleaded, her eyes fixed on mine. "Please."
"I'll take care of you, baby." I kissed her, feeling my need for her ignite inside me as our lips clashed against each other. She tasted so good, so perfect. She whimpered with desire, her body pressing against mine. I quickly pulled her clothes from her body, then removed my own. We both needed this. We needed the comfort of each other's bodies, and the escape from this new round of fucked-up shit we had to deal with.
We kissed again as I pulled her warm soft body against mine. I felt relief that this was something I could do for her, make her feel good and forget for a while. I trailed kisses down her neck to her breasts, sucking her right nipple into my mouth and flicking it with my tongue. She arched her back with a moan of pleasure, her hips thrusting forward. I moved my lips to her other nipple, swirling my tongue around it and nipping it gently. She gasped at the sensation, a small smile playing across her lips.
"I need you now," she whined. "Please."
I spread her legs apart and hovered above her; my hips cradled between her thighs. I pressed my cock into her slowly, her swollen wet pussy so warm and tight. I kissed her again as I started thrusting slowly in and out of her, breathing her sweet breath into my lungs and feeling so connected to her. She was my everything, my life, my breath. This was where I belonged.
"Do you feel it?" I whispered into her mouth. "Do you feel how much I love you?"
"Yes," she sobbed as her climax hit her, her body arching up against mine.
"I'll always love you," I told her breathlessly. "I'll always take care of you."
"I'll always love you, too," she whispered as she came back down, her eyes soft and unfocused. I shifted my hips, and thrust myself in and out of her slow and deep, hitting a perfect spot inside her that made her gasp, and her eyes roll up into her head.
"Yes, baby," I said hoarsely. "Come for me again."
I watched her fly apart in my arms; a keening wail coming from her lips as I kissed her once more. I felt my balls tighten and then my own release exploded out of me with a deep groan, the pleasure burning through me like lightening, intense and mind shattering. When it was over, we lie there with our foreheads pressed together, breathing heavily and feeling sated. I clutched her to me.
"I'll always need you," I whispered. "I'll always want you."
Tears sprang from her eyes as a quiet sob racked her body.
"Shh," I reassured her. "I've got you, baby." I rolled onto my side, gathering her in against my chest.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"You're welcome, Sydney," I answered. "I'd do anything for you. Anything. All you ever have to do is ask." I hugged her tight, grateful that I could comfort her, yet heartbroken that I couldn't make this horrible situation or all her pain just go away.
**********
"Happy birthday, Sydney baby," I whispered as Sydney's eyes blinked open. The morning sun was pouring into my room, and she looked so beautiful lying in my bed, the sunlight playing across her face. I'd been staring at her for the last hour, unable to tear my eyes from her face. She looked so peaceful. I didn't want to wake her up, so I had stayed in bed holding her. I didn't want her to wake up alone or remember the letter any sooner than she had to.
"Can I have my present now?" she asked as a radiant smile spread across her perfect pink lips.
"I never said I got you a present." I smirked at her as I brushed her hair away from her face.
"You're mean," she accused me as she pouted, her eyes bright with amusement.
; "Alright," I conceded. "You can have one of your presents."
"There's more than one?" she asked with a grin. I nodded as I returned her smile.
"Stay here," I told her as I climbed out of the bed. "I'll be right back."
She sat up, the sheets sliding down to her waist, and I ended up just standing there staring at her breasts. She cleared her throat, and I glanced up at her expectant face.
"Sorry," I said unapologetically with a shrug. "I'm easily distracted by boobs."
"You're a boob," she said as she rolled her eyes at me. "Now hurry up," she demanded as she shooed me toward the door with an outstretched hand.
I headed downstairs to the shopping bags that I had hidden in the closet late last night after she fell asleep. She had seemed a lot calmer after I made love to her last night, but she hadn't wanted to leave my bed. I had brought the pizza upstairs, and we had eaten in bed together while watching the small TV in my room. Neither of us mentioned the letter again the rest of the night, both of us not wanting to deal with it just yet.
I pulled a small gift bag out and went back upstairs. I was grinning like an idiot, by the time I walked into my room. I couldn't wait for her to open her gift. Her eyes lit up when she saw the bag, and she reached out enthusiastically as I handed it to her.
"I hope you like it," I told her, feeling a little nervous. I watched her reach in and pull out the four inch square jewelry box with a small smile. She opened it eagerly, then gasped in delight.
"It...it's beautiful," she whispered as she stared at the contents of the box, a teardrop pink sapphire necklace set in white gold. The color of the stone had reminded me of her lips, and the way her cheeks flushed pink when I made her blush.
"You like it?" I asked her softly. Her eyes popped up to mine, and they were so bright and beautiful that it made my breath catch for a moment.
"I love it, Jensen," she said with sincerity. "It's perfect."
"Give it here." I reached for the box. "I'll put it on you."
She handed it to me and scooted around until her back was to me. I pulled the necklace out of the box then struggled for several moments as I attempted to clasp it around her neck.
Let Me Heal You: Beautifully Broken Book 3 Page 6