In the end, he simply grabbed his jacket and left her room, shutting the door sharply behind him.
What's wrong with me? Liam is so sweet to me. Sweet, and caring, and nice. He tried to carry me to bed. He makes me feel good about myself. Yet I'd rather wish for making memories with a man who never smiles and rarely talks, and quite possibly thinks of me as little more than a vacation.
She went to sleep thinking about dreams – lost ones and new ones.
11
By the time the weekend rolled around, Katya was more confused than ever. She'd gone back to Liam's club one night – there was a BDSM convention in town, and a group had rented one of the big rooms. He walked her through the set up, even strapped her onto what he called a St. Andrew's Cross. There had been a moment, when he'd reached to loosen her wrist bindings. He'd stared at her for a long time, his fingers hot on her skin. She'd stared right back, wondering what new trick she was going to learn that night. But then he'd let her down, only spanking her playfully on the ass. They spent the rest of the night in his office, laughing at cat videos and eating Chinese food with their fingers.
Later on, she'd had a lunch date with Wulf – her bakery wasn't too far from his office building, and he'd informed her that she'd be meeting him at a food cart between them. It had been windy out and he'd lost his burrito. She'd laughed as it rolled away, but then yelled at him when he simply ate hers. Before she could complain too much, though, he was kissing her. A real kiss, so hot, she'd forgotten they were sitting outside. He'd worked one hand into her hair and yanked, holding her head at an angle. He liked to pin her into place, she realized. Position her how he wanted, then would do whatever he wanted. She loved it. It was him who stopped them, finally dragging his lips from hers when she tried to undo his tie. He'd laughed at her, kissed her once more, then pulled the tie over his head before slipping it around hers. His next kiss was slower, sweeter, and before she could even open her eyes, he was walking away without a second glance.
The rest of the day, she felt like she was glowing. Her co-workers noticed it. Tori noticed it. Hell, she was pretty sure strangers on the street could notice it. And even better, she didn't care. She wasn't embarrassed. If anything, she was wondering why she'd been such a prude for so long. Is this what dating two men at once felt like!? God, why hadn't she been doing it all along? Why wasn't everyone doing it?
And what's going to happen when it ends and you have to make a choice?
A sobering thought, had just before she turned in for the night. Liam had texted her, offering to meet her on the roof. Wulf had messaged her, something vaguely inviting and definitely sexual. She ignored them both and stared at her ceiling, consumed with her new thought.
How is this going to end?
*
“What's going on with you, angel cake?”
Katya frowned and concentrated harder, sticking the tip of her tongue between her teeth and biting down. She didn't know why that helped, but it did.
“Nothing, I'm getting the hang of it.”
“I'm not talking about the game.”
They were playing Need for Speed. She liked it well enough, but she preferred playing Call of Duty with him. She was in the mood to shoot things.
“What do you mean?” she asked, focusing on taking a turn and not wiping out.
“You're all quiet. Introverted.”
“Uh, that's kind of how I am,” she laughed, then let out a shout as she almost lost control of her car.
“No. Not with me, you're not,” he pointed out. She finally glanced at him, and it cost her. Her car slammed into a wall, rolled back, then surged forward again when she fumbled with the control.
Game over. Would you like to play again?
“Just been thinking about a lot of stuff lately,” she said. It was his turn to laugh.
“Oh sweet jesus, that can't be good. Your brain has a way of ruining every good thing that happens to you,” he teased.
“That's not true.”
“It's truer than you like to admit. So what have you been thinking about?”
“Ummm ...”
Katya chewed on her lip. She'd never felt comfortable with this part of her little situation. Wulf never ever asked about the other man in her life, and Katya never talked about him, but Liam was a curious little bunny. He wanted to know all sorts of things – what she and her “New Guy” talked about, what kind of sex they had, why had they only had it once!? Was New Guy frigid? Bad in bed? Tiny penis?
“Are you thinking about New Guy's tiny penis?”
She picked up a pillow and threw it at him.
“He does not have a tiny penis!” she shouted.
“Whoa, defensive! That small, huh? We talking micro? It's okay, you can tell me,” he said. She picked up his dirty laundry from off his floor and began launching things at him.
“If you must know,” she was laughing as well, ducking when he started throwing clothing back. “It's amazing. The perfect size, thick in all the right ways, and makes me see god. Happy!?”
“Wow, that is amazing. God, huh? What did you see when I fucked you?”
“I didn't see anything – I blacked out. What does that say about you?”
He tackled her then, diving with all his weight. She grunted as she was crushed into his white leather couch – the same one she'd woken up on after their first night together.
“Alright, that's it! The infidel must be punished,” he growled as he began tickling her.
“ACK! Stop! STOP! I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” she gasped for air, kicking and pushing at him.
He kept it up for another minute, but then they were both laughing too hard to keep fighting. He pressed his face into her chest and she could feel his laugh against her skin. She panted underneath him.
“You have to admit that I made you see something,” he finally mumbled. She chuckled.
“What is this, jealousy? C'mon, you're the one always telling me, 'it's not a competition', remember?” she pointed out.
“Yeah, I know. I'm just curious, I guess. You're so … different. From any other woman I've been with – it's like you unfold for me. I just wonder if he brings that out of you, too,” he finally explained.
“Wow, Liam. That's actually kinda sweet.”
“Shhhh, don't say it too loud, people might hear you.”
They both laughed again, then he propped himself up so he could look down at her. He was still smiling, but his eyes were serious as he looked over her face. She swallowed thickly and stared back at him. Took in his boyish good looks and messy hair.
You should really, really fall for this man.
“Liam,” she whispered. He lifted his hand and played with a strand of her hair.
“Hmmm?”
“You created this monster. Before you, I never knew I could even be this girl. Never knew it was something I wanted. And that's amazing, and I'll never be able to thank you for it.”
“But ...”
Katya shook her head.
“No buts. The things he brings out in me are different. It's like … you make me expand. You open my eyes and widen my boundaries. He makes me contract. My eyes only see him and he's my only boundary. You're both just so … different. Completely different, in what you do for me, and how you make me feel,” she tried her best to explain.
“Hmmm.”
He wasn't looking her in the eyes. Was just staring down at her shoulder, where he was playing with the hair. She'd worn her hair down – for him, because he'd said he liked it down. She suddenly got very scared that a shift had happened, that she'd said too much. She didn't want to lose him.
“Liam, maybe we shouldn't -” she started to say, but then he dropped down on top of her. So abruptly, she actually shrieked. His mouth hovered barely a millimeter above her own.
“You know what I've been thinking about?” he whispered, so close she could feel the brush of his lips.
“What?” she whispered back, then gasped when he moved again. His nose was
against her neck, his lips against her pulse.
“That aerobics class. How good you were. How much better you probably are now,” he hissed, then she felt his teeth clamp down on her skin. She arched against him.
“I'm not stripping for you,” she said.
“Sounds good. Want me to put on some music?”
“Liam, I just said I wouldn't.”
“I heard 'yes, my sweet and gentle lover, I will slowly strip for you and then allow you to fuck any orifice you please', isn't that weird?”
“There is nothing sweet and gentle about you, and I will not let you fuck any orifice you please.”
“But you've already given me access to two very important ones.”
Katya took a deep breath.
“I'm not stripping,” she said again.
“Ah, you've already weakened on one stance. Let's just cut out the begging and get to the stripping.”
He kept kissing her shoulder. Eventually, his lips moved to her chest, which meant her sweater would have to go. But as his fingers curled around the hem, he hesitated. He always hesitated, and in that moment, she thought to herself “Wulf never hesitates – he sees what he wants and he goes for it. He wants me.” – fucked up, man. She knew Liam wanted her, she could feel his erection. Knew he cared about her, they were very good friends. But his lips were on her skin and his weight was on her body, and all she could think about was another man.
This isn't right. For the first time ever, this really isn't right.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered as his hands moved away from her sweater.
“Never apologize, angel cake. Rain check?” he asked, his breath hot on her shoulder. She struggled to breathe.
“Yeah. Thank you, Liam,” she sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Thank you.”
His arms wiggled their way around her waist and finally, he was hugging her back.
“If I ever become a successful stripper,” Katya started, desperate to lighten the mood. “I will be sure to let everyone know they have you to thank.”
“Damn straight you will. And don't be expecting any tips from me. I only make it rain for strippers I don't know.”
“How chivalrous of you.”
“I know, right?”
*
Beyond not feeling right about having sex with him, Katya hadn't wanted to strip for Liam because the thought had made her feel nervous and a little embarrassed. What if she messed up? What if she wasn't as good as he'd remembered?
But the woman he'd described had been sexy and uninhibited, and not scared of anything. Katya wanted to be that woman. Liam made her feel like she could be that woman. Wulf was going to experience that woman.
“I've never been to your apartment.”
Wulf didn't believe in setting up dates, that much she'd figured out. He'd called her just as she was getting off work and told her to come to his office. He wanted to take her to dinner, he explained, but a meeting was running late. She could wait for him, he'd probably be done once she got there.
Only, he wasn't – his meeting ran very late. After thirty minutes had gone by, he'd texted her. Gave her directions to his private office, where she could wait more comfortably.
It didn't seem to occur to him that maybe she'd rather just go home.
But of course, Katya didn't suggest it, either. He still had that strange hold on her. If Wulf said it, then so shall it be. She walked down several hallways, passed a bunch of cubicles, and was met by the same assistant who'd come into the bakery on that fateful day, already so long ago.
Wherever Wulf was, his assistant was sure to be close behind – Ayumi Nakada moved around him like a shadow, and was barely more visible than one. She was tiny, a hair's width over five foot, and usually very quiet. When she did speak, though, it was in the same tone of voice Wulf used. Brisk, no nonsense, authoritative. She'd always come off a little bitchy to Katya. Cold. Like she thought she was above other people.
Probably comes from years of working with someone like Wulf.
Ayumi showed Katya to a set of huge double doors, opening one for her and gesturing for her to enter. The door was closed behind her, and then she was alone. In Wulf's private domain.
There wasn't anything personal about the office. He had a huge oak desk that sat in front of floor to ceiling windows. A wall to her right held a floating shelf, which was covered in awards and trophies and certificates. His desk top was perfectly clean, everything in order, even the pens and pencils lined up, and for the first time, she wondered if he had a light case of OCD.
When she sat in his chair, she actually shivered. He was such a powerful man, sometimes it was easy to forget it wasn't just for her benefit. He controlled a lot of peoples' lives, in a way. Their fortunes, their futures. All from that chair. She took a deep breath through her nose, could smell his cologne. She rubbed her legs together and sighed, wondering if there was at least a lonely little magazine she could use to distract herself.
While searching his desk, it hit her. The lack of personalization. No photos of his family, which really wasn't too much of a shock. But no photos of him with impressive clients, or business partners. No art work. Everything was very standard, clearly picked based on appearance and not personal preference.
Jesus, what does his home look like?
He'd been to her building three times, and to her apartment twice already. He'd commented on her room, on how adorable it was, on how it suited her, which it did. Katya knew she had a very girly style, and she indulged in it often, decorating to suit her own tastes. She had a small office at the bakery, and it reflected her personal style, as well.
He must be such a lonely person.
So when, two hours later, she was told she was wanted in his conference room, the first thing she asked him was about his home.
“Of course you've never been to my apartment,” he answered her, not looking up as he shoved some papers into a file. “It would be awfully strange if you had – you've never been invited.”
Katya snorted and refused to be offended.
“You've never been invited to my place, yet you keep turning up there.”
“Please. I'm invited anywhere you are.”
“Cocky.”
“Yes, as well as not wrong.”
She looked away from him, glancing around the room, not wanting to admit he was right. There was a massive table, surrounded by twenty-six chairs – she counted them all. Wulf was at the head of the table, his back to more big windows. Katya had sat closer to the door, with about ten seats between them.
“I didn't have to wait two hours, y'know.”
“And yet you did.”
“I could still leave.”
“And yet you won't.”
“I want to go to your apartment,” she finally stated. He glanced up at her.
“Why is this so important to you all of a sudden?”
Because I want to do a strip tease for you, and I want to sleep with you, and I want it to mean something. I want to be as important to you as you are quickly becoming to me. Because I want to know you. The real you, not the man you give to everyone else. I want to make you feel special.
“I don't know,” she lied instead. “We always meet somewhere, always your choosing, usually close to your work. Maybe I'd like a choice.”
He laughed then.
“That you think you get a choice is funny.”
“It won't be so funny when I make a choice you don't like,” she warned him.
“Oh my. Tocci has grown some balls since I last saw her,” he teased.
“You have to give me something, Wulf. I haven't asked for anything. If anything, I've been very compliant. I want to see where you live,” she said. He stared at her for a long time, then sat back in his chair.
“And if I say no?”
She shrugged, feigning nonchalance.
“Then maybe I'll start saying no more often, too.”
He quirked up an eyebrow at her bravery
, but then let out a deep sigh.
“I'm a very busy man, Tocci. I'm not keeping you from my place, or anything. It's just all the way across town – I don't have time to pick you up, drive there, fuck you, take you back home, and come back to work all on my lunch break.”
She had to laugh, and was glad when he smiled again.
“Okay, I get that, but someday. Soon. I want to see this mysterious lair of yours.”
“Alright. Someday, in the near future, I will take you to my apartment.”
Something else occurred to her.
“What about your days off?”
“Excuse me?”
“We could go on your days off,” she suggested.
“I don't have 'days off' – I'm either here, or I'm at a viewing, or I'm making a deal, or I'm dealing with a problem,” he said.
“Jesus, your life sucks,” she blurted out.
“Yes, my life sucks – I live in a multi-million dollar penthouse, own more real estate than you can imagine, and I have a very sexy woman as my own personal fuck toy. Life is awful.”
“That poor, poor woman.”
“I'm talking about you.”
“What about after work? You usually leave around six, right? We could go there, I could cook you dinner – I can do more than just bake,” she offered.
“I'm sure you can, but once I'm there, I don't want to make the trip all the way back down town to take you home,” he explained.
“Wulf, if I come to your house for dinner, it's almost a sure bet you're going to get lucky. You could take me in the morning on your way to work,” she told him.
“I know I'd get lucky, but you won't be staying the night.”
“I won't?”
“No. I don't let women spend the night with me.”
“Ever?”
“Not in my own place.”
“I thought I had a lot of rules for myself,” she mumbled. They were so much alike sometimes, it was almost unnerving.
I should introduce him to Liam. Would that be weird? I think Liam would be good for him.
“How many women have you taken to your apartment?” she asked.
“This specific apartment?”
Neighbors (Twin Estates #1) Page 13