Probably because someone had.
“Jesus. Tell me you didn't -”
“Your mother says hi. She's going to some charity meeting. She left some lunch in the fridge for us.”
“Oh god. My mother. My mom saw you like that,” Katya clarified, finally dropping her hands and staring up at him again.
“We had a nice chat. She makes a good cup of coffee.”
“I'm so glad for you.”
“Hey, I offered you some.”
“Wulf.”
“Yes?”
“You're half naked.”
“Hardly.”
“Did she say anything? About all … that?” Katya asked, waving her hand in a circle, gesturing to his bare chest.
“No, we talked about landscaping. Did you want your mom to hit on me?” he asked. She resisted the urge to gag.
“No. I just … I don't know. I didn't want to her to know what we'd done last night,” she struggled to explain. Wulf chuckled and moved to kneel at the foot of the bed.
“Cat's out of the bag, Tocci, cause I'm pretty sure she had a good idea of what her daughter had been up to,” he warned. He started crawling up the mattress and she felt her mouth go dry. She finally looked away and stared out the window.
“I didn't want that,” she sighed. She felt his arm wrap around her waist, over the sheet, and then he was dragging her into him. Pulling her down so they were laying side by side. She still refused to look at him.
“You're an adult. We're adults,” he informed her, tapping a finger against her chin before pushing, forcing her to look at him. “We did nothing wrong.”
“You don't understand, Wulf. She … she's one of those moms, she's always trying to set me up. Always asking me when I'm going to settle down, get married, have babies. She sees you, and she sees hope. She sees the good looking, successful, rich, boy next door, and then she sees us together, and then she's going to start thinking about all that other stuff. Thinking you're perfect. Perfect for me,” she told him in a soft voice. He chuckled and leaned close, kissing her softly on the lips. It didn't make her feel better, though. It made her heart pound and constrict, warning her that what she was about to do was irrevocable.
“I am pretty perfect, Tocci.”
“Please stop.”
“You stop,” he sighed, rubbing his nose against the side of her jaw. Kissing along the side of her shoulder. “We just had an amazing time together, didn't we? Yet here you are, trying to tell me I'm not perfect.”
“I'm not saying that,” she said, finding it hard to breathe. Everything was already too difficult – she wanted him to stop touching her.
Don't want him to ever stop touching me.
“Then what are you saying?”
“I do think you're perfect for me, and that scares me.”
“Why?”
“Because I've never felt this way about somebody,” she whispered, placing her hand over his. “I don't want you to break me.”
He had no sharp comeback for that, no smart ass response. The kisses stopped, but he didn't move away. His forehead was pressed against her jawline, his breath hot against her neck. His hand stretched and flattened against her skin, then slowly slid out from underneath her own hand. She closed her eyes, preparing for him to leave her.
But he didn't. His hand moved over the top of hers, his fingers splaying wide apart. He took a deep breath, then fit his fingers into the spaces between hers. He squeezed tight and balled his hand into a fist. Linking their hands together. She gripped as tight as she could, wanting to hold onto the moment forever.
They always go away too soon. Give me this one, for just a little longer.
“You're right, Tocci. That is very, very scary,” he breathed.
She was pretty sure he'd never spoken truer words to her.
They laid like that for a long time, neither moving as the room grew hotter and hotter in the noon sun. She tried to move away at one point, so full of nerves and tension, she was afraid she'd burst out crying if she didn't get away from him. But Wulf wouldn't allow it, wouldn't let go of her. As she rolled away, he held her in place with their hands against her chest, then scooted up close behind her. Spooning her. He was on top of the sheet and she was under it, but still. It was the closest she'd ever felt to him. When he sighed and kissed the shell of her ear, it finally happened. A tear escaped, running down the length of her nose. It balanced on the bow of her lips for a moment, then dropped sideways to the bed.
What happens now?
16
The sun had become too much, the heat oppressive. Despite her best efforts, Katya fell back asleep, warm and comfortable with Wulf pressed against her from behind.
When she woke up an hour or two later, it was to find herself alone in the bed. She sat up, holding the sheet to her chest. Wulf was sitting on a chair near her bed, bent over with his elbows on his knees, his hands steepled together. He was completely dressed, even looked showered. She wondered how long he'd been sitting there, watching her. She glanced around the room.
“Your mom is still gone,” he offered.
“Oh. Thank you.”
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah. Hungry, but alright.”
“Katya ...”
She stared at him with wide eyes, her hands clutching the sheet in a death grip. Usually when Wulf said her first name, it made her heart dizzy and her pulse pound with happiness. Now, though, it made her worry. Something in his tone.
“Yes?”
“I have to go back home.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Okay. Super duper okay. So okay. Never mind my heart puking into my stomach, that's totally normal. Totally okay. Super fucking goddamn extremely fucking o-fucking-kay.
“A Malibu property requires my personal attention,” he stated as he stood up and began to pace her room. His voice was serious, his cadence clipped. She knew this Wulf, the all-business-all-the-time Wulf. The man she'd been getting to know was miles away. If she wanted to have any hope of ever seeing the other Wulf again, she had to let him go. She had to give him space.
“I understand,” she assured him in what she hoped was a calm voice. “Work is work. Go.”
His eyes cut to her.
“Most women like to say something is okay, when in reality, it's the least okay thing they can think of.”
“Lucky for you, I'm telling the truth. I'll see you when I get home,” she said it flippantly, as if she took it for granted they'd keep seeing each other. Maybe if she acted like it was no big deal, the moment they'd shared, then he would, too.
“Yeah,” he said, his voice soft.
“Are you leaving right now? Do you have time to eat?”
“I'm leaving now. I'll order a car for you for Friday.”
“Oh no,” she waved him away. “That's ridiculous.”
“I drove you down here. I'm leaving you stranded. I'll send a car.”
“Seriously, Wulf, it's fine. I'm a big girl, I can rent a car, or my mom can drive me, or I -”
“I'll send a fucking car, and when it shows up, you had better be here.”
Whoa. She wasn't sure that she'd ever heard Wulf angry before. For whatever reason, her getting home was a big deal to him. She nodded and took another deep breath.
“Okay, Wulf. Okay. Friday, whenever is fine.”
“Good.”
“Thank you.”
He'd been looking out a window. As she watched, he did an about face and strode towards her bedroom door. He was going to leave. That was it. No goodbye, no acknowledging what had happened between them. It was another moment, she could feel it, but not a good one. She stared at him as he moved, committing him to memory. Wulf always looked good, but his body was made to be in motion. When he got to the door, he yanked it open, then held still. Katya bit down on her lips.
“I'll be in touch, Tocci.”
Then he was through the door, slamming it shut behind him. She bent in half, pressing her forehead to her knees.
See? Ruined it. I completely, totally ruined it. Should've kept my mouth shut.
But she couldn't have, she knew. Even right then, when she was feeling hurt and sick and confused, her feelings for him were bursting out of her. Ripping her at the seams and tearing her apart.
Wulf had said he was good at deals, but apparently he'd never acquired a heart before. It was safe to assume that he didn't even know what to do with one. She would be his learning curve, and she had a feeling that it would be a very steep, very sharp one.
This is going to hurt like a bitch.
17
Wulfric Stone was not a stupid man. He'd gone to good schools, gotten excellent grades, excelled at everything he'd put his mind to – his bank account and his business accolades were proof.
But he could admit when he was acting stupid, and when it came to Katya Tocci, he'd been beyond stupid. Idiotic. Dense. Imbecilic. See? All those synonyms, and he'd thought of them on his own – a very smart man.
Yet rendered completely stupid by the mere presence of a former neighbor.
The first time he'd seen Katya, he'd thought to himself “wow, the girl next door really grew up”, and then he'd wondered exactly how much she'd grown. He hadn't paid any attention to her at all when she'd been a neighbor in Carmel. Now as a neighbor of sorts in San Francisco, she captured all his attention.
He'd been curious – Wulf was curious by nature. Always poking, always prodding. Always testing boundaries. How far would little Miss Tocci bend? Would she break? What all would she do for him? And for how long?
He'd expected her intoxicating mixture of naiveté and bold sexuality. Been ready for the way she'd responded so eagerly to him. Was happy at how easily she took commands and heeded demands.
What he hadn't been ready for, in any way, was her blinding honesty. Katya hadn't needed to confess how she was feeling – it shined out of her. She looked at him with such adoration. Such happiness, at simply being near him. Not his money. Not his power. Not his intelligence or connections or family name. Just him. Just Wulf.
But when the words weren't spoken, it was easier to ignore. To pretend he didn't notice any of it. How could he acknowledge any of it? It would have meant the end, and he wasn't finished yet. No, not by a long shot – not when there was so much more of her to be had.
Why the fuck had he gone home with her? Wulf never went home. He hadn't been home in years, not since Vieve had graduated – he'd made excuses for Brie's graduation, missing it entirely. Yet Katya Tocci drunkenly mentions that she's going home, and he cancels a weeks worth of meetings and takes the top off his car.
She's not the only one who had some words that needed to be said.
He couldn't say them, though. Was scared – yes, scared – to even whisper them to himself. To admit, out loud, that he cared about her. Very much. That way she looked at him … it meant everything. Somewhere along the line, he'd grown to depend on it. Need it.
Horrible. Needing something meant depending on it, and that he could not abide. That's all he'd thought about when he'd been curled around her, while she'd cried and slept. If he needed her, and she left him, he would be broken. He couldn't afford that, not the way he lived his life, not when there were people who depended on him to be whole and strong.
His mother had loved his father, very much. Wulf was pretty sure she still loved the man, and they hadn't spoken in years. The elder Mr. Stone had cheated on his wife, multiple times, before finally leaving her for a much younger woman. Wulf hadn't begrudged his father his happiness – if he needed to leave, then he had to go. Wulf would've been okay if it had been as simple as that, a man following his heart.
But it wasn't that simple, and what Wulf couldn't understand was why his father had to make it hurt so much. Why he'd rubbed the new relationship in his ex-wife's face. Why he'd tried to leave her destitute and penniless with two young girls, and a son who had a very expensive hobby.
It had broken his mother. He could remember thinking that very clearly, finding his mom hiding behind the couch, curled up in a ball and sobbing. She'd never returned to her old self. It had been Wulf who'd looked after his sisters for the first year, taking them to their soccer practices and ballet recitals. Eventually, his mother had bounced back, but still. It wasn't the same. Her smile never reached her eyes. She never so much as looked at another man. And she never, ever stopped working. Almost like she was afraid to stop.
That could not happen to Wulf. So he cut out the middle man. Remove the potential for heartache from his life, skip straight to working all the time, and never be afraid.
Cut to fourteen years later, and you're terrified of a baker with big blue eyes.
Because Katya would break him. If he let her in, he'd have to be honest with her. Let her inside his heart and his brain and his secrets. She'd have to know everything about him. And then she'd leave, it couldn't end any other way. He couldn't let that happen. He didn't want to be broken.
So he broke her, instead.
18
After Wulf had left, Katya had managed to drag herself into the shower. Scrubbed his scent and his fluids and his touch off her body. When she was scraped raw and shiny pink all over, she'd finally gotten out.
Her mother didn't say anything, much to Katya's shock. The older woman did send her some knowing looks, though, and she smiled to herself, a lot.
They spent the day together, taking the barbecue leftovers to a homeless shelter. Walked around a park for a while, talking about Katya's job and her mother's charities. Laughed about her silly father, who was a well respected former professor, and now did historical consultations for books and movies. He was in New York, helping with a play, and was sad to have missed his only child's visit home.
The next day, Katya kept herself busy with cleaning her room from top to bottom. Her mother had an amazing housekeeper, a woman who felt more like family than an employee, so Katya hated leaving behind any sort of mess.
She also had to keep busy because if she didn't, she would go insane. She kept checking her phone, desperate for a message from Wulf. She'd sent him one, saying she'd hoped the trip home hadn't been too bad. He never responded. Never called. Nothing.
He said he'd be in touch. He had to go home. Stop freaking out. It doesn't mean anything.
When she finally went to bed, though, she wasn't quite as strong. In her head, she whispered that it meant everything. They'd shared a very powerful, important moment, and then he'd ran away. She'd pushed him too far, asked for too much.
You didn't ask for anything.
You asked for everything.
The next morning, she woke up even more of a wreck. Still no texts from him. It had been almost forty-eight hours. She was counting them – since reconnecting, they hadn't gone more than a couple days without speaking, at least via text. If he didn't text the next day, she was going to lose it.
She'd gotten so worked up, she'd convinced herself that he'd already completely forgotten her, which meant she needed a way to get home. Blinking away tears, she sat on the sofa in the living room, her laptop open in front of her and a car rental site already pulled up. Then someone knocked on the door and her mom called out for her.
“Katya, dear! Your ride is here!”
A man in a simple black suit stood on the porch, smiling politely. At the curb was a huge, black Lincoln Navigator, with super tinted windows and shiny rims. Wulf hadn't been joking around – she would be riding home in style.
The driver loaded her one bag into the back of the car, then opened a door for her while she hugged her mother goodbye. It was silly, but she actually got a little teary eyed. Katya visited home fairly regularly and had never gotten choked up before, but it had been a different kind of trip. Special in its own way. She'd grown even closer to her mom, learned more about her.
Oh, those boundaries. Ever expanding.
During the ride she chatted with the driver for a while, but then fell silent and stared out the window. Tried not to thin
k about a very cold, serious man that had left her naked and all alone.
As soon as she walked in her front door, she got attacked by Tori. Her roommate outweighed her by quite a bit – Tori was all tits and ass, while Katya was all knees and elbows. The flying hug sent Katya crashing into the wall, then they both fell to the ground.
“Good lord, I was only gone for five days,” Katya gasped for air, shoving the other girl off her.
“I know, I know, but what a five days!” Tori exclaimed, finally backing away and helping her friend up.
“Why? What happened?”
Katya chucked her bag into her bedroom, then followed Tori to the kitchen. They had a decent sized living room – well, by San Francisco standards – but always wound up in the kitchen. She never knew whether it was because she just felt most comfortable in a kitchen, or it was because that's where the alcohol was located. She sat down while her roommate poured them some pre-mixed margaritas.
“I started at The Garden,” Tori all but squealed as she dropped into her seat.
“Liam's club? And it's going good?”
“Oh mah gurd, it's amazing! I can't believe I never went to a sex club before!”
“He told me you'd be working upstairs.”
“Pffft, for like five whole seconds. My superior waitressing abilities and fantastic cleavage streamlined the process. Once I proved that I could carry a tray without dropping it, and that I could count down a till, I was pretty much in. I mean, it helps that my roommate is banging my boss,” Tori snickered.
“Don't say that,” Katya almost snapped. The mood in the room instantly sobered.
“Whoa. Sorry. Didn't realize it was a … sensitive subject ...” Tori mumbled. Katya groaned and rubbed her hands across her face.
“It's not, I'm sorry. Just had kind of a weird weekend with Wulf, and I haven't slept with Liam in a while. I think I need to be done with boys for a bit,” she sighed.
“No way. Working around that man every day has me wondering how you ever keep your hands off him. Goddamn, that body? That smile? So sweet. So funny. You should see the way women fall all over him.”
Neighbors (Twin Estates #1) Page 20