The silence was eventually broken when Kellan cleared his throat, saying, “So I’d be willing to bet my right arm that we’ll be facing those bastards tonight. When the Casus get a whiff of you, they’re going to rain down on this place like a swarm of locusts. And having Ian here is only going to sweeten the temptation. So we need to be prepared.”
“Yeah.” Raking one hand back through his hair, Riley finally pulled his gaze away from the stairs and looked back at his brother. “And just so you know, I don’t plan on leaving her here to fend for herself. If something happens to me, I expect you guys to see that she has protection until that damn Marker is found and off her property. Then there won’t be any reason for those bastards to hang around Purity, and Hope will be able to get on with her life.”
Ian nodded, and Riley went on to say, “What exactly did Shrader mean earlier, when he said I wouldn’t be needing the Marker you’ve got back at Ravenswing?”
His brother shoved his hands in his pockets. “In the dream I had, you were wearing the cross you’d found here in Purity.”
“Then in that case,” Riley grunted, pushing away from the door, “I guess we’d better get off our asses and go and find the damn thing.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
AFTER HOURS OF digging throughout the long day, the Dark Marker still hadn’t been found. There’d been some decent weather that morning, but then the rain had started again in the afternoon, the predicted storm front finally starting to roll its way toward shore. Their efforts had been a waste of time at that point, but they’d kept going, until finally calling it quits a half hour ago. The rain was coming down so hard now that visibility was nil, which had made the search impossible. Riley had been positive they would find it that day, after what Ian had seen in his dream, and yet they were still no closer to having possession of the ancient cross. Disappointment sat heavily in his gut, his hands blistered and sore from the hours he’d spent slamming that damn shovel into the ground, but the pain in his body didn’t come close to the one in his head…and his chest.
He hadn’t spoken to Hope since that morning. Before he could get upstairs, she’d already come back down, ignoring him as she headed past everyone on her way into the kitchen. Thinking she’d finally call when she was ready to talk, Riley had gone up to finish dressing, then joined up with the others, and hadn’t been back to the house since. And though he’d tried to stop himself, he kept remembering the look that had been on her face after she’d learned the truth about him, about his future, and couldn’t help but feel that she’d been avoiding him on purpose. It was no less than he expected, but it still sucked.
Leaving the others to get showered and changed back at the cabin, he’d made his way up to the house with his bag, determined to make her talk to him before he sent her away. Everyone agreed that the Casus would make their move that night, which meant that Hope couldn’t stay there. Riley fully expected her to argue, but even if he had to drag her out of there kicking and screaming, she was going to go.
Letting himself into her room, he pulled off his rain-soaked jacket and tossed it on the floor, along with his holster, not wanting to ruin any of her antiques with water damage. Standing before the window, he stared out at the violent fury of the storm as it raged over the ocean, the dark clouds streaked with crackling bolts of lightning, the deafening waves of thunder rolling in hard and fast. It was almost as if nature knew what was coming…and had felt the need to provide the appropriate imagery.
He’d just pulled off his T-shirt, thinking he’d try to warm himself in a hot shower before heading down to the café to find Hope, when she came into the room, shutting the door behind her. Bracing himself, Riley stood with his back to the window as he waited to hear what she would say.
She crossed her arms over her chest, staying near the door, her eyes somber and shadowed as she stared at him across the room. “I just ran into the others down in the café,” she said in a quiet voice. “They told me about your day. If all of you really believe that they’re coming tonight, why can’t you just run? It’s madness to face the Casus without a Marker, Riley.”
Shoving his hands deep in his pockets, he shook his head. “If they still believe the Marker is buried here on your land, we can’t just take off. No way in hell would I do that to you and Millie. And now that I’ve awakened, they’re going to come on strong. It’s best to go ahead and face it. I’m tired of wondering what they’re up to, worrying about what they have planned. It’s better just to get it over with.” Lifting one hand to rub the tense muscles in the back of his neck, he stared at her from beneath his lashes as he asked, “Did Kellan tell you the plan?”
She nodded, a fine tremor visible in the hold of her arms…in her shoulders. “He isn’t happy about it. And neither am I. But I’ve already called Millie and told her to wait at the hospital until she hears from us that it’s okay to come back home.”
“Kellan might not be happy about missing the battle,” he rasped, “but he’ll protect you with his life, Hope. He won’t let anything happen to you.”
“I KNOW,” HOPE WHISPERED unsteadily. She paused, a deep breath lifting her chest, before she managed to say, “When you said that you would leave…I thought you meant here. Purity. Me. I never could have imagined that you were talking about the end of your life.”
His expression revealed raw, tormented agony. “I should have told you, but I…I couldn’t. I didn’t want you to know. God, Hope. I’d have given anything to keep you out of this.” He shook his head again, a bitter laugh falling from his sensual lips. “Damn it, I did give. I sacrificed and sucked it up, just to keep you out of it, and for what? Here you are, stuck right in the middle.”
She swallowed, understanding exactly what he meant. “So that ceremony that Elaina begged you to take part in. That’s why you broke up with me, isn’t it? Why you twisted a knife through my heart when you slept with Amee, who’d always hated me? Did you pick her specifically, Riley? Just so it would hurt me more?”
“Yes,” he admitted, the single word painfully gruff…hoarse, as if it’d been ripped out of him. “I needed to destroy the connection between us. If there’d been any chance of getting back with you—if you’d have still wanted to have anything to do with me—I wouldn’t have been able to resist. I had to make you hate me, Hope. I had…I had to make it stick.”
“To protect me?” she whispered, torn between wanting to slap him for hurting her so badly, and throwing herself at him because of the heartbreaking reasons he’d done it.
He nodded in answer to her question, his throat working, every hard, beautiful muscle in his broad chest and powerful arms rigid with a brutal, gripping strain.
“And look what happened.” She snuffled her own burst of bitter, jagged laughter under her breath, the heat in her chest climbing, spreading into her throat, her face, tingling beneath her skin. “God, sometimes life is so screwed up. It amazes me we all don’t just say to hell with it when things get like this.”
“You don’t mean that,” he challenged in a low, hard voice. “You’re too bloody brave to mean that, Hope. Too strong. No matter what life has thrown at you, you somehow find the strength to keep going.”
“Don’t I? Look at you, Riley. You’re the bravest man I’ve ever known, and yet you’re going to give up. Run.”
“From myself,” he argued, the words biting and grim. “From what I’ll become.”
“Says who?” she snapped, lowering her arms as she took an angry step toward him, her hands fisting at her sides. The future could be theirs, damn it, if he was only willing to fight for it. To find the faith in himself that would bring him back to her after he faced his demons. But instead of fighting, he was willing to just throw it away. To leave her, when she’d only just found him again. Only just remembered what it was like to be alive. “God, Riley, the future is never set in stone. Never a given!”
“Mine is,” he shot back, his jaw clenched so hard that it looked painful. “And because of that, my entire l
ife has been a joke. Some kind of stupid bid to keep this from happening, always doing the right thing, and look where it’s gotten me. I’m still standing here, with this shit bearing down on me, same as I’ve always known I would be. It is going to happen, Hope. No matter what I do, I saw what’s coming.”
“Life is all interpretation,” she whispered. “Point of view. Perspective. Maybe…maybe you misunderstood.”
He snorted, rolling his tattooed shoulder in an angry gesture. “There’s only so many ways you can interpret ripping someone’s body apart with your bare hands.”
“Damn it,” she cursed, the sound brittle with impatience. “You don’t know it will happen!”
He pressed his right hand against his chest. “But I feel it. In here.” His hand moved lower, pressing against his stomach. “And here. No matter how much I wish it could be different, I know that it can’t.”
“Because that’s what you were shown?” she practically shouted, wanting to scream. To pick something up and hurl it against the wall in a childish outburst of temper. “Because it’s what you were told? God, Riley, you can’t let that control you! You have to fight for what you want. It all comes down to will, and I’ve never known a man with a stronger force of will than you. Look at what you were willing to give up when we were young, because you were afraid of hurting me. You’re strong enough to fight this. I know you are.”
“It’s not that simple,” he growled, his blue eyes glowing with a wild, unearthly light, as if his Merrick was rising within him, climbing toward the surface. But she wasn’t afraid. No matter what Riley believed, Hope knew in her heart that he wasn’t a killer. She only wished she could find some way to make him believe in himself the way she did. She was going to lose him if he didn’t, and it was going to kill her. Smash her down into tiny pieces, until there was nothing but a pile of broken fragments that could never be put back together again.
Struggling to control her quivering jaw, she said, “I never should have let you take my blood, but I was greedy. Selfish. I wanted to be the one who gave you what you needed, and now…now I’m going to lose you because of it.”
“This isn’t your fault!” he burst out, the graveled words biting and sharp with frustration. “It’s mine. I’m the bastard. The one who should have stayed away from you, but couldn’t. The one who’s been risking your life every time I’ve touched you. God, Hope, look at what happened last night. I took you, here, alone, with this…this evil inside me. It scares the shit out of me, knowing what I’m capable of…what I can be pushed to. Who knows what it’s really going to take to unleash what’s buried somewhere in here?” he seethed, jerking his thumb toward his dark chest. “That’s why I can’t touch your scars. Even though Capshaw’s gone, the hatred I feel for that son of a bitch is so powerful, I don’t trust myself. Don’t trust where it might take me. What might take me over if I give it so much as an inch. If that happened and I…If I hurt you…” His throat worked, and he shook his head. “I never should have touched you, but I wanted it bad enough to take the risk. You should hate me for that.”
“To use your favorite line, Ri, I can’t. I can’t hate someone who I—”
“DON’T,” RILEY BARKED, knowing it was going to kill him if he heard her say it. “Christ, whatever you do, don’t say that, Hope.” But the words were in her eyes, written all over her beautiful, precious face, and he couldn’t take it. Knowing that he had to get the hell out of there, Riley turned and headed for the door that connected to her private bath. “I’m cold,” he muttered, painfully aware of her gaze tracking him across the room. “I’m going to take a shower.”
Moving in a daze, he closed the door behind him, stripped off his boots and the rest of his clothes, set the water on hot and climbed into the shower. He’d been standing with his head under the scalding stream for a few minutes, waiting for the heat to finally seep beneath his skin, melting the cold knots of fear twisting him up inside, when he heard the bathroom door open. A moment later, Hope pulled back the curtain and stepped into the back of the tub, the heavy weight of her lashes making it difficult to read the expression in her eyes. She wore only a thin tank top, the erotic sight of her nipples pressing against the soft cotton and the dark, glossy curls nestled at the juncture of her thighs sending his blood rushing south. His cock went granite hard…thickening with need, his heart hammering in his chest so hard that it hurt.
“What are you doing?” he rasped, feeling as if he’d slipped into a fantasy…a dream.
“You said you were cold,” she murmured, slipping to her knees in front of him. Flicking him a smoldering look from beneath her lashes, she reached up and curled both of her soft, sweet hands around his throbbing shaft, squeezing…testing his size…his broad width. “I thought I’d do my best to warm you up.”
“You don’t have to do this,” he somehow managed to say as he stared down at her, thinking she was the sexiest, most beautiful woman he’d ever set eyes on.
“I know I don’t,” she whispered, brushing her lush, velvety lips against the taut, slick head of his cock, the provocative touch of her mouth making his goddamn legs almost give out beneath him. “But I want to, Riley. I’ve always wanted to.”
“Damn it,” he groaned, threading his shaking fingers into the soft, heavy silk of her hair. “I don’t know if I can take it.”
Hope smiled as she ran her tongue across the swollen, plum-size tip, loving the way it made his breath hiss through his teeth, a violent shudder rolling through his long, powerful frame. “Just remember to breathe,” she whispered, giving him back the seductive words that he’d said to her the night before, while her fingers milked his incredible length, marveling at his raw power and strength, like sensuous satin over thick, rigid steel.
Unable to wait any longer, she opened her mouth over him, her hands wrapped around the wide base, holding him…stroking, his low growl filling the air, visceral and deep and wonderfully male. He was heavy against her tongue, swollen to bursting. Throbbing and hot and impossibly hard. His taste was mouthwatering…delicious, like something sweet and ripe that she wanted to savor for hours on end. Hope lost herself in the intimate, intoxicating details, the primal burn of pleasure magnified by the way he gripped her head, staring down into her eyes, with no secrets between them, no lies, as if she could finally see beneath his anger and shields, to the truths that lay within. She could feel his fear, his desperation, and it made her want to scream. To fight for him. But she knew he’d never allow her to be involved in the battle. He would give her this moment, and then shove her away, like he did all those years ago. Not to be cruel or to hurt her, but because he would do everything that he could to protect her.
Again, his breath hissed through his teeth, his body shaking as he locked his knees. “No more,” he growled, pushing her away. “I can’t take it.”
Before she could argue, Riley pulled her to her feet, pressing her spine against the cold tiles of the shower. She gasped as he lifted her up with his hands gripping onto her sweetly rounded ass, and shoved himself into her. “I won’t come in you,” he growled, nearly dying at the intensity of sensation from sinking into her without a condom, the hot, cushiony depths of her body making him tremble, it was so jaw-grindingly good. She was liquid and tight and soft, pulsing around him, gripping his naked shaft like a greedy mouth, taking him deeper and deeper as he kept working himself in, until he’d buried every inch inside her. He nailed her to the shower wall with a violent, explosive hunger, needing to imprint himself on her soul, on her heart, even though he knew he had no claim to them. The slick, suctioning friction broke him down, peeling back the layers until he was nothing more than a creature of pure, primal instinct. Until he felt like an animal, feral and out of control. And yet the way she looked at him made him feel like a god, invincible and strong, as if there was a sliver of light glowing inside him, after all. One that she’d started. One that would die without her there to feed the flame.
Steam rose, surrounding them in a thick, s
ensual mist as she ran her small hands over his wet shoulders, down the bulging power of his biceps. “I love your body,” she told him, her voice husky and soft with passion. “I love its power. Its strength. But it’s not these incredible muscles that are going to save you, Ri.” Pressing her hand over his heart, she said, “It’s what’s in here that will keep you whole. Keep you true to who you are.”
He shuddered, his throat dry. “I wish you were right. You have no idea how badly I wish that could be true, Hope.”
“It is true. I know it is.”
“And what am I meant to do?”
“You’re meant to find faith in something that will help you through this, so that you can come out whole on the other side.” Her mouth trembled into a shaky smile, her eyes glassy and bright as she cupped his damp face in her hands. “You have to have hope, Ri. Please. Promise me that you’ll at least try.”
“I’ll try,” he groaned, wanting to give her the words that she deserved, but he couldn’t force them past the knot in his throat. So he showed her with his body instead. There were no words to express what he was feeling, anyway. And though the Merrick wanted to take her blood again, Riley forced it down, knowing that it was too soon, after all that he’d taken from her last night. Instead, he found her lips and lost himself in the exquisite taste of her mouth, rubbing his tongue against hers, swallowing her breathless, husky cries. And then he broke the kiss, staying close, wanting to watch the fire in her eyes when the scorching, white-hot burn of pleasure overtook her, nearly ripping him over the edge. Gritting his teeth, Riley wrenched himself free at the last second, erupting onto her pale thigh in hard, violent surges, his own graveled cry filling the air.
He collapsed against her afterward, his mouth buried in the curve of her shoulder, his heart hammering against her breast. Eventually, he set her back on her feet, turned and stepped beneath the steaming spray of water, letting the shower rain down over his bent head. Hope lifted her hand, trailing her fingers over the beautiful tattoo that whorled over the top of his shoulder. Her hand moved farther down his back, mapping out the firm, compact muscles…the long line of his spine.
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