by Anne Herries
‘Men are not to be trusted,’ Marguerite flashed at her. ‘They seduce you with their smiles and sweet words and then they destroy your life. Be careful who you trust, Amelia. Even marriage does not mean you are guaranteed happiness.’
‘Are you suggesting that the earl can not be trusted?’
‘His first wife was unhappy enough to take her own life…’ Marguerite said and then put a hand to her mouth in horror. ‘I should not have said that…now you will send me home. Yet it is true and you should be careful, Amelia. Be sure that he truly cares for you or you may be hurt too.’
‘No, I shall not send you home,’ Amelia said, looking at her steadily. ‘Tellme, do you really believe that Lisette’s death happened because Gerard made her unhappy? Are you saying that he was cruel to her?’
‘I only know what someone told me.’ Marguerite looked at her oddly. ‘What do you think, Amelia? Why would she take her own life if she were happy?’
‘I know the truth of it and I know it was not Gerard’s fault,’ Amelia said. ‘But perhaps I shall ask him about it again.’
‘You should.’ Marguerite gripped her wrist. ‘For your own sake, Amelia. I should be so sorry if something were to happen to you because of him.’
‘You are hurting me.’
‘Forgive me. I did not realise what I did…’
Amelia drew away and Marguerite let go of her wrist. Amelia rubbed at it. ‘There is nothing to forgive. I know you are thinking of me—but we shall not speak of this again.’
‘I am sorry. You have been so good to me. I had no right to speak but I care about you.’
‘I know you do.’ Amelia smiled at her. ‘Do not look so anxious, Marguerite. I am not going to send you away.’
‘You are too forgiving,’ Marguerite said. ‘People take advantage of you. Emily told me what you did for Lady Pendleton and Lady Coleridge.’
‘Had I known how unhappy you were, I should have asked for your company before this,’ Amelia told her. ‘However, it is not too late for you to make a new life. Nothing that has happened so far should make it impossible for you to find happiness—if you can let go of the past.’
Marguerite stared at her in silence. Amelia nodded at her encouragingly, hoping she might respond to the invitation, but Marguerite turned her face away, going ahead of her down the stairs.
Amelia thought she understood why Marguerite thought so badly of Gerard. She was still grieving for her sister and did not trust any man. When she came to know him better, she would realise that she was wrong to distrust him.
Amelia was seated at her dressing table later that night when the door to the dressing room opened and Gerard entered. He went to the hall door and tried the handle, nodding his satisfaction when he discovered it was locked. Amelia stood up. Her hair had been taken down from its customary style and hung loosely on her shoulders, and she was wearing a pale blue lace peignoir over a matching silk nightgown. Her feet were bare. She picked up a perfume flask and dabbed a drop behind her ears.
‘Why did you check the door?’
‘Because I wanted to make certain we were not interrupted this time, Amelia.’
Amelia saw that he was still fully clothed, though he had taken off his boots. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, Gerard?’
‘I have not been able to speak to you alone for days,’ he said, looking frustrated. ‘We need to talk.’
‘Yes, I agree. I think you should tell me the whole truth about Lisette, Gerard. You told me something, but I do not believe it was all—was it?’
‘What do you wish to know?’ Gerard’s gaze narrowed.
‘You told me that you married her while still angry with my brother and me—but did you love her?’
‘No. As I told you, she had been raped and was lying by the side of the road, beaten and close to death. I nursed her back to health and then she told me her lover was dead. She was having his child. I married her to protect her and the child—and because I thought I could never have you.’
She gazed up at him. ‘I know you said something died in you the night Michael had you beaten, but do you think you can learn to love me?’
‘Did I say that to you?’ Gerard looked puzzled. ‘I felt that way for a long time, but you cannot believe it now? You must know that I care for you, my dear one.’
‘I hoped that you might in time…’
‘Believe me, you are the only woman I want as my wife.’
‘You truly mean that?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Why did you come to me tonight?’
‘So that we could talk. Why? ’ His eye brows arched.
‘I thought you might have come for another reason,’ she said and moved closer to him, the scent of her body inviting and tempting.
Gerard looked at her steadily. ‘You told me you thought we should be careful—and I have noticed something odd in your manner of late. You asked me about Lisette and I have answered you truthfully. Will you tell me what is troubling you?’
‘Yes, perhaps I should,’ she agreed. ‘But do not expect me to solve the mystery, Gerard. I am concerned because I think…Emily and Marguerite do not truly like one another. Helene noticed it and…Marguerite has hinted that Emily is lying to me.’
‘Good grief!’ Gerard frowned. ‘What has she said exactly?’
‘Some letters were taken from my room. I asked Martha, Emily and Marguerite if they had taken them. They all said no, but Marguerite told me she had seen letters in my hand on the salver in the hall. As you know, Max always franks his guests’ letters to save their families the expense of some sixpences.’
‘Letters…’ Gerard wrinkled his brow. ‘I can see nothing wrong in anyone taking them down for you. What is strange in this?’
‘Nothing—except that one of them must have taken the letters, but none of them will admit it.’
‘You have questioned your maid?’
‘Yes. Martha would only take the letters if I told her. Marguerite told me that Emily had been to my room that morning. She still denied having taken them—and Max told Helene that he had franked three letters for me. I wrote four.’
‘Four…you are certain?’ Amelia inclined her head and Gerard pursed his lips. ‘Was there anything of value in any of the letters? Were they important?’
‘They were thank-you letters for Christmas gifts—and one to my brother to inform him of our marriage.’
‘You do not know which one was taken?’
‘I cannot know for certain. Max recalled the number, but he would not have remembered to whom they were addressed—but one was to Marguerite’s mother, to thank her for allowing her daughter to come to us.’
‘You think it may have been the letter that went astray?’
‘I do not know…’ Amelia hesitated. ‘And there were the lilies…a pot of them in my room. Martha noticed the smell and took them away. If we had not noticed it, they might have given me a headache for they were very strong. It was a silly incident—but something Marguerite said has led me to believe that it might have been Emily. Unless…’ She sighed. ‘Itis quite ridiculous. I have wondered if Marguerite wishes to take Emily’s place in my affections…and if Emily feigned illness because she is perhaps a little jealous.’
‘This is all trivial stuff,’ Gerard said. He reached out to lift her chin with his finger. ‘You are certain this is all, Amelia?’
‘There have been other hints…things said that I felt not quite as I would like, but nothing that means anything. Someone spoke of Lisa’s mother dying to her. She was upset until I told her that her mother died peacefully with no pain.’ She saw him flinch. ‘It would be wrong to tell her the truth, Gerard. I believe she was afraid that I might die or leave her. I told her it would not happen for a long time.’
She said nothing of Marguerite’s hints that he might be unfaithful to her. He had told her the truth about Lisette and to question about the summer he had courted her would seem as if she distrusted him.
> ‘Who told her? You should speak to whoever it was, Amelia. Make it clear that you will not tolerate this kind of thing.’
‘Emily has been unwell. I shall speak to her when she is better.’
‘You think it was Miss Barton?’ Gerard’s gaze narrowed, became intent. ‘Did Miss Ross tell you it was Emily?’
‘No. Lisa started to tell me something, but after I explained, she seemed content and wanted to look at her book. To question her would make more of an incident best forgotten. I shall talk to Emily once she has fully recovered from whatever ails her.’
‘Perhaps you would do better to let them both go,’ Gerard suggested. ‘We could find a governess for Lisa—’
‘Gerard! They are my friends. I could not be so cruel as to dismiss either of them for such trivial things.’
‘Are you sure they are trivial?’
‘No more, Gerard.’ Ameliareached up to touch his cheek. ‘Now you know why I hesitated to tell you in the beginning. Someone has lied to me—and someone said things they should not—but at the moment I can make no sense of it all. Emily’s abduction has turned everything upside down. It is easy to start at shadows, to imagine fault where there is none. Besides, if there was something…we need to know the truth, Gerard. To send the guilty person away might mean that we should never be free of this shadow.’
‘If I thought either of them meant harm to you or Lisa…’ A glint of anger leapt in his eyes.
Amelia placed her fingers to his lips. ‘Lisa is safe, my dearest. Why should anyone wish to harm her? Besides, they both love her. I am sure they do.’
‘Why should anyone wish to stop our marriage?’
‘It could not benefit either Emily or Marguerite. No, I am certain this is just because of a little jealousy.’
‘Then we are no nearer to discovering our enemy.’
‘I think we may be,’ Amelia said. ‘I cannot give you a reason, but I feel that things have moved forwards, though why is not clear. Something is at the back of my mind, but I cannot tell you what it is.’
‘You are not holding back from me?’ Gerard’s eyes seemed to look deep into her soul. Wordlessly, she shook her head. He smiled oddly and reached for her, drawing her close so that she felt the heat of his body and the urgency of his need. ‘I should not be here. You are too tempting, my love. I want to sweep you up in my arms and carry you to that bed. I want to kiss and know every inch of your lovely body.’
Amelia’s lips parted invitingly, her breath sweet and quick. ‘You know how much I want to be with you, Gerard—to be yours. I should not deny you if you took me now.’
‘I am tempted beyond bearing, but something is warning me that I ought not to take advantage—that I should wait…’ His fingers traced the arch of her white throat. He bent his head to lick the little pulse spot at the base of her neck. Amelia quivered, pressing herself against him, her body surrendering to the need inside.
‘Gerard…forget the shadows…forget caution. I want to be yours.’
‘Supposing something happens to me…if there should be a child…’ he warned as he caught her to him; his mouth pressed against her neck, warm and moist as he nibbled gently. She arched into him, melting in the heat of their mutual desire, lifting her face for his kiss. ‘Amelia, my love. I want you so much…’
‘If something happened to part us, I should have known your love,’ she whispered passionately. ‘I am not a green girl, Gerard. I am a woman, but I have never known a man’s love—never felt the happiness of being one with you. Do not let me go to my grave never having known what it is to be loved, I beg you. If either of us should die before we wed, we should at least have had this night.’
Gerard’s resolve melted as she pressed herself against him. There was a wild, wanton look in her eyes; the barriers were down and he could not resist their mutual need.
He moaned softly in his throat, bending to sweep her up in his arms and carry her to the bed. She smiled up at him trustingly as he lay her down amongst the soft sheets, her peignoir falling open to reveal the sweet swell of her breasts. His body throbbed with the need to have her and he began to strip away his shirt, ripping the fine material carelessly. Amelia undid her peignoir, pushing it back from her shoulders, slipping her arms out so that all she wore was the thin nightdress that did nothing to hide the contours of her shapely body.
Gerard stripped off the rest of his clothing. Amelia’s eyes travelled over the lean length of him, his strong legs and arms, his smooth chest and the sprinkling of dark hair that arrowed to his aroused manhood. The sight of his beautiful naked body was shocking and breathtaking, making her quiver with anticipation as he raised her so that he could pull her nightgown over her head and dispose of it with his clothes.
Then he was lying beside her on the sheets. He faced her, his mouth close to hers. He could smell the sweetness of her breath, the light taste of wine on her lips, and the perfume of her hair was intoxicating. His hands stroked down her back, smoothing the arch, cupping her buttocks and pressing her against him. She moaned softly, lips parting for the invasion of his tongue. He sucked at her, tasting her, their tongues meeting in little experimental darts of sensation, seeking, finding pleasure beyond all expectation.
He caressed her back and her shoulders, stroking firmly until she quivered and moaned with pleasure. Bending his head, he sucked at her nipples, taking first one and then the other into his mouth, the roughness of his tongue against them sending jolts of pleasure through her. His hand stroked her thigh. His tongue traced its way over her navel to her mound, and then his hand parted her legs. He stroked the sensitive inner thigh for some minutes, making her pant with endless, aching need to feel his fingers touching her inner citadel.
When he touched her there she gasped, her back arching as the sensation of fierce pleasure shot through her. She opened wide, allowing him to stroke and then to enter her moistness. His mouth returned to hers, kissing her as his body slid over hers, and then the hot, hard probing of his manhood entered her with gentle thrusts, deeper and deeper until he found what he was seeking.
Amelia cried out as he broke through her maiden-head. For one moment the pain was sharp, but then his kiss was taking it away, soothing her. His hands stroked and pleasured, bringing her back to a state of blissful desire so that the moisture ran and she opened, taking him deep inside her. Their bodies moved together in a sensuous rhythm, the almost unbearable sensation making Amelia’s breath come in quick gasps and then all at once Gerard gave a shout and she felt his release. She clung to him as the powerful spasm took her, making her cry out and arch beneath him.
After the intense sensations had faded to a pleasant feeling of satisfaction, Amelia turned her face into his shoulder as he lay beside her, still stroking the silken arch of her back. Her cheeks were wet with tears for she had not expected to feel anything as wonderful…as fulfilling as this sweet certainty of belonging.
‘I dreamed…’ she whispered. ‘I dreamed so many nights…but I could not guess at what it would be…so beautiful…’
‘You made it beautiful,’ Gerard told her. ‘I have never loved anyone else…never known such completeness…such happiness.’
‘Gerard…’ she murmured against his shoulder. ‘We are one, together. No one can part us now.’
‘I shall not let them,’ he vowed fiercely as he lifted himself on one elbow to gaze down into her face. ‘You are mine. Nothing and no one can come between us now.’
They held each other, falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.
Amelia had not drawn her curtains completely. The light of the candles clearly showed the outline of two people as they moved together and embraced.
The woman watched for a few moments. In the light of the moon, which had just moved out from behind some clouds, the anger and bitterness was stamped on her features. So intent on what was happening in that room was she that she did not hear the man approach and jumped as he touched her shoulder. She whirled round, fingers clawing at
his face. He gave a shout of alarm, jerking back and grabbing her wrists.
‘What do you think you are doing? It is me—-Gordon.’
‘You startled me. Creeping up on me like that! I thought I was being attacked.’
‘Wild cat,’ he said and grinned as he caught her to him. He kissed her hungrily, but she pushed him away with an angry cry.
‘I told you! Not until I have what I want. Gerard Ravenshead must die.’
‘What of her?’ Lieutenant Gordon nodded his head at the window. ‘You said she must be raped and he must watch. I’m not your man for that…I’ll gladly put a ball into his black heart, but she has done me no harm. I’ve never killed a woman and the idea has bothered me.’
‘I wanted her to suffer as someone else suffered, but that no longer matters. Now all I want is that he should see her dead. He must suffer—he must know what it feels like to lose everything.’ Her eyes glittered with hatred. ‘His death is not enough for what he has done. If you want me, you must take revenge for me—and for yourself.’ She smiled at him, suddenly luring him with a look that took his breath. ‘I know you want me…but first I need my revenge.’
‘You shall have it. I’ll kill him for you and willingly,’ he vowed. ‘I heard that they are to be married soon. Shall it be before or after the wedding?’
She glanced back towards the bedroom window. There was no sign of the couple embracing now. She imagined them lying together…making love. At that moment her anger was so intense that she shook, but she fought the rage, knowing she must not give way to one of her fits. She was so close now—so close to the revenge she craved.
‘It must be soon,’ she said. ‘There is no reason to wait longer. I have been making plans. Where can I reach you if I need you quickly?’
‘At the inn in the village. Send a letter—or find a stable lad to bring your message.’
‘Meet me here again in one week and then I shall tell you what I plan.’
Amelia woke to find the bed cold beside her. She looked at the indentation in the pillow where his head had lain, touching it, in haling the scent of him that still clung to the sheets. Gerard had left her before the servants were about, because he was still trying to protect her reputation. She smiled, stretching, aware of how good she felt. The night had been filled with pleasure as they explored each other’s bodies, touching, kissing, reaching a place that Amelia had never been. Gerard had told her it was the same for him.