by Melissa Haag
“Bullshit. I’m not buying that. Why are the humans born all pure, but we aren’t? Because that’s what you’re implying, right? That we are born to fulfill whatever purpose the gods set before us, but the humans get to frolic around like herds of goats, without any responsibility for their actions? No, Ashlyn has proven that humans have a choice. They can choose to ignore our corruptive influences.”
“That would imply that we, too, can then choose to ignore our purpose and instincts.”
Oh, she was good.
“I led myself right into that. Fine. I’ll try to ignore mine.”
“We shall see. Let’s find the first candidate.”
She started down the street at a brisk pace, and I hustled to keep up. She hadn’t picked the nicest street. Dumpsters sat near the loading docks and back doors of businesses. The stink of rot overwhelmed the hint of fresh food being cooked somewhere else.
Movement by one of the dumpsters made me jump. Not Adira, though. She walked right up to the huddled form in the shadows.
“Eugene, I’d like you to meet Megan. She’s from my hometown.” Adira stayed several feet back from the boy.
“Hi, Megan.” The voice was young but weak. Almost listless.
I stepped past Adira, trying to get a closer look. The shape seemed small, balled up in a fetal position.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
“I’m trying to sleep on the ground near a dumpster leaking fluid that no sane person would want to be near. I’m great.”
Something got under my skin, but it was light and easily ignored compared to the signals coming from the other people hidden further down the alley.
“You don’t belong here,” I said.
“If not here, where?” he answered.
“Where are your parents? Family?”
“Dunno. I left when they were high. When I went back the next morning, there was an eviction notice on the door, and my upstanding parents were gone.”
“I’d like to offer you a real home, Eugene,” Adira said from behind me. “A real bed. Three meals a day. A chance to attend school again.”
The boy uncurled himself enough to look up at me and then Adira, his dark brown eyes now alive with interest. Underfed and dirty, but with a light dusting of dark hair on his chin, he looked about my age.
I hated this. What kind of choice was Adira really giving him?
“What’s the catch?” Eugene asked.
“You lose the life you know, and you’re trapped forever in a world you’ll wish you never knew existed,” I said before Adira could try to gloss over the reality of what would happen.
“So, you’re telling me to pick between the red pill and the blue one?” He snorted and stood up. “The truth seemed to work out okay for Neo.”
“Um, he died at the end of the third movie, didn’t he?” I said, thinking he was missing the point.
Eugene shrugged.
“If I stay here, I won’t have a long life anyway. Give me the reality pill, lady.”
“Any objections?” Adira asked as she glanced my way.
I sighed. “There’s nothing majorly wicked about him. At worst, he probably stole something to eat at some point.”
“Two bucks from another alley rat’s pocket,” the boy said, unashamed. “He would have just traded up for booze anyway.”
“Then it’s settled,” Adira said. “Come with us. You’ll be showered and in a clean, warm bed within an hour.”
Anger slammed into me like a baseball bat to the back of the head. I grunted and took a step forward from the force of it. Head hanging, I struggled to control the urge to fight. To punish whoever carried so much wickedness.
“Megan?” Adira said softly. “Are you in control?”
A scuff of movement from behind us announced the source of my affliction. I lifted my head, fighting a losing battle.
Eugene took a step back when my gaze met his.
“Holy shit,” he breathed.
“This is the truth,” I said, my voice echoing oddly. “Watch. Then decide if a warm bed is worth the price of your ignorance.”
“Eugene,” a new voice said. “When did you start hanging with these high-class pieces of ass?”
The nails of my fingers bit into the skin of my palms as I clenched my fists tighter at the sound of the voice. I turned toward the newcomers. Three of them all dressed in dark clothing. Tattoos decorated the knuckles of one and the cheek of another. Their jewelry flashed in the distant dock light.
“Nice eyes,” the first one said. “They contacts?”
“No.” I walked toward them, my words coming from some hidden part of me. “Tell me your crimes. What sins will you confess?”
One of the guys burst out laughing. I hit him square in the mouth, the impact snapping his head back and sending blood flying onto one of his companions. He grunted and staggered. The friend with blood on his face pulled a gun from his pocket and aimed it at me.
“On your knees,” I said, my voice scarier and more commanding than I’d ever heard it. Even as some part of me acknowledged something bad was happening, I couldn’t stop it.
All three men fell to their knees.
“Confess.”
That single word reduced the men to tears. They blubbered their way through stories of theft and attempted murder. The one with a broken nose barely made sense, but it didn’t seem to matter. As they spoke, the need to make them pay for each crime increased until I felt bloated with it. I reached out and put my hand around the first one’s throat, lifting him off his knees. I felt no strain.
“Randall Aaron Walker, your wicked confessions have guaranteed your place in—”
“Megan, stop,” Adira said.
Rage boiled inside me at being interrupted. She touched my shoulder, and my stomach twisted. My hand slipped from around the man’s throat, and I landed on my back. I blinked up at the stars, confused and no longer fury angry, just angry.
Eugene’s face appeared above me.
“What are you?” he asked.
“Pissed off,” I said, getting to my feet.
Adira stood on the sidewalk, not far from me.
“Some kind of angel?” Eugene asked, still watching me.
The complete absurdity of his guess distracted me from Adira. I stared at the filthy boy in disbelief.
“What? No way. What kind of angel has fiery eyes?” I asked.
“The one who beats the crap out of the guys who’ve been dealing to my parents for the last four months.”
“That life is done now,” Adira said.
Ignoring me, she nodded toward the house attached to the front lawn on which I stood.
“Everything in this house now belongs to you, Eugene.” She handed him a key. “Clean yourself up. Sleep. Megan will be here in the morning to pick you up for your first day at Girderon Academy.”
“Not a chance in hell,” I said.
First, I was still mad at her for talking this kid into coming. Second, I was still mad at her for stopping me mid-asskicking. Third, I would not let her continue to mistreat the humans in Uttira.
“You wanted the humans to attend the Academy.”
“Yeah, but not on the first day here. You need to give Eugene time to understand what this place is. First, he meets Ashlyn. If he decides to stay, he then decides when he’s ready to attend the Academy, or if he’d rather homeschool for a while.”
“I really don’t mind,” Eugene said. “I like school. Saying it’s an Academy makes it sound fancy. Fancy wouldn’t be bad after the last few weeks I’ve had.”
“I get it,” I said, turning to him. “I really do. But you need to talk to Ashlyn first. I won’t throw you to the wolves—literally—by sending you to Girderon without you understanding the most disturbing truth about this place.”
“And what’s that?” he asked.
“All those legends you thought weren’t real? Well, they are. Werewolves. Mermaids. Giants. Magic. It’s all here. And it’s not rainbows
and pixie dust. The Council brings humans here so those very same creatures of myth can learn to control their impulses.”
“Impulses,” he said slowly. “Like making bad guys confess? That doesn’t sound so bad. Personally, I think you should do more of it.”
“We’re not all the same. Some have impulses to eat you.”
He paled slightly, but I didn’t regret telling him the truth. He needed to understand that he’d only traded the type of danger he was in; he hadn’t left it behind. And, I thought he was beginning to get it based on the way he looked down at the key in his palm.
“Yeah. If you think talking to this Ashlyn is a good idea, I’m okay with that,” he said after a moment.
“All right. I’ll ask her to come over tomorrow night. It’ll give you some time to settle in and really think about what you saw tonight.”
“That’d be good.”
He started toward the house then looked back at us.
“I think I’m dreaming. I’m not sure if it’s good or bad yet.” He glanced at the house then back at us. “Am I going to die if I walk into that house?”
“That house is probably the safest place in Uttira for you,” I said.
“Megan is correct,” Adira said. “Nothing can harm you in that house.”
He nodded and started toward the door. Without a word, he unlocked it and slipped inside. Adira and I watched the lights go on one by one.
“I controlled myself in that alley. Well, before those three men showed up. There were at least twenty other people I could feel, and I didn’t do a thing about it.”
“But you did for Randall Walker.”
“You heard them. He and his friends were way more wicked. There was no way I could have just let them walk away. I mean, that’s my purpose, right? To punish the truly wicked.”
“It is. However, a fully developed fury doesn’t need to strike the wicked for a confession.”
“Well, I didn’t know that. Maybe if you’d told me, I wouldn’t have hit him.”
“Did I have to tell you how to use your mind and your eyes to pull a confession from them? No. Yet, you somehow managed to do that.” She gave me an understanding look that made me want to throat punch her.
“I know this is frustrating for you,” she continued. “But, to keep the world safe, you need to remain in Uttira until you learn who and what you are, and you are able to control your instincts.”
She reached out again and put her hand on my shoulder. A second later, we stood outside my house.
“Good night, Megan.”
Then she was gone again. I stood there stunned.
“I don’t believe this shit. That wasn’t even a test. She just wanted to know if Eugene would work. Fucking unreal.”
The renewed scent of smoldering grass sent me inside where I wouldn’t start things on fire.
* * * *
Are you avoiding me?
I groaned after reading Oanen’s latest text and flopped back on the couch.
“Why must you keep texting me?” I mumbled, already tapping out my next message.
If I’m avoiding you, I’m doing a poor job of it. Aren’t you supposed to be paying attention or something?
I can’t when you’re not here. I worry about you.
You need more interesting hobbies. Now, pay attention to whatever session you’re in.
I’d rather you tell me why you didn’t come in today.
I already told you. I hate people.
Adira asked if I saw you.
Adira can go pet a honey badger.
Seriously, that woman could go sit on a pole. I refused to listen to her and her dumb rules anymore. The Academy was a joke and a complete waste of my time. I wasn’t learning anything there. Nothing I’d actually use once I left this place. I was tired of playing games and planned to stay on this couch until I rotted. No more recruiting new humans. No more babysitting existing ones. They could all suck it.
I set my phone on top of the small pile of papers on the end table, not wanting to see Oanen’s reply. Nothing was going the way it should, and I wasn’t in the mood for anyone, not even him.
After waking up feeling just as angry as when I’d gone to bed, I’d resolved to find my mom myself. Since coming to Uttira, well over a month ago, I hadn’t received a single bill in the mail. Not one. Yet, I still had power, cable, and a working cell phone. Those bills had to be going somewhere. So, I’d done a little research and started calling around to look for information that might lead to my mom’s current address or phone number.
However, my super sleuth skills had nothing on Uttira’s impenetrable closed network. Calling the cable company had redirected me to the grocery store. Calling the power company had redirected me to the grocery store. And, calling the cell phone carrier number within the app on my phone had…redirected me to the grocery store. The woman working the day shift there probably hated her life now after that third call. She hadn’t been able to tell me anything other than the Council takes care of all the orphans in Uttira. Fat lot of good that did me. If I couldn’t track down my mom from inside Uttira to call her and couldn’t leave Uttira to find her in person, I was royally screwed. Without her help, I had no chance of controlling whatever the hell was going on with me.
I stared at the TV, not really seeing the rerun so much as just attempting to let my mind go blank. What more was there to do than wallow? Nothing.
However, each passing minute only increased the resentment and anger crawling under my skin. One show changed to another, but I barely noticed. I wanted to break the TV. Burn the sofa. Destroy the stupid house in which my mother had caged me.
The knock on the back door only fueled the anger skulking inside of me.
“There’s no one home. Go away,” I said without moving.
The door opened, and the faint scuff of footsteps announced the approach of my would-be visitor.
“I should have locked it,” I mumbled to myself.
“No, you shouldn’t have, or I would have broken it,” Oanen said.
I lifted my head to look up at him and wished I hadn’t. Scabs still clung to his face in a few places, yet another reminder of my failings. Setting my head back on the couch, I resumed my TV stare.
Oanen moved closer and squatted down beside me, blocking my view. It didn’t matter. I kept my eyes trained on the blur of his bare chest.
“Talk to me, Megan,” he said softly. “Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”
“That I suck at girlfriending, and the only thing I do well is hurt people.”
“That’s not true.”
“Careful. I’m pretty sure lying is wicked.”
“What happened last night?”
“Exactly what Adira wanted to happen. I verified the new human wasn’t wicked then lost it when a group of drug-dealing thugs came over. My actions validated Adira’s point that I’m a danger out in the human world and allowed her to refuse my request to leave to find my mom so I could get some fucking answers, which everyone in this seventh-ring-of-hell, shit-place likes to hide.”
I took a calming breath and closed my eyes against the orange glow that reflected off Oanen’s golden skin.
“You need to leave,” I said.
“I’ve never needed to stay more.”
“You’re annoying me.”
“Good. Then maybe you’ll open those beautiful, glowing eyes and look at me.”
I did, but it was for a full out glare.
His lips twitched slightly as I met his gaze.
“What are you most afraid of?” he asked.
“Hurting you.”
“I don’t think so. You’ve already hurt me. You feel guilty for it, but fear? No.”
I thought about it for a second.
“You’re right. I’m afraid of screwing this up.”
“Technically, you already screwed this up.”
“Is this supposed to be a pep talk? Because you’re sucking at it. How did I already screw up?”
“I’m thinking about doing it again.”
He grinned at me.
“How can you be so okay with all of this?” I asked. “I burn things when I’m angry. I can make people tell me all the horrible things they’ve done. My freaking eyes glow when I’m really upset. It’s not okay. I’m getting worse. What’s going to be next?”
He reached out and traced a fingertip down the bridge of my nose.
“Your eyes are glowing now, and they’re breathtaking. I could look at you for hours if you’d let me. Do you understand? There’s nothing about you that I don’t like.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Probably.” He frowned slightly and removed his touch. “Do my eyes bother you when I change?”
“No.” Dark blue or golden, his eyes did the same thing to my insides whenever he looked at me. But, I wasn’t about to admit that aloud.
“I get what you’re doing,” I said, sitting up. “You want me to face my fears and make them seem less scary. It’s not working. I fear myself. I fear that, whatever I become, will hurt you so badly that you won’t heal. That you’ll be dead because that’s exactly what I think I was about to do to one of the men last night if Adira hadn’t teleported me back here. Not only do I have no idea why I’m doing what I do, I have no control over it.”
He considered me quietly for a moment.
“You might know more about yourself than you realize. Tell me about your mom.”
“She dated a lot. Never really got attached to any of the men, though. Despite leaving me here, I know she loved me. At least a little. I remember hugs and kisses when I was small. I remember birthday parties before I started losing my temper and hitting other kids.”
“Do you remember your mom burning things or having flaming eyes?”
“No. That’s exactly why I need to find her. She knows what I’ll become, and she knows how to control it.”
“Her control means you will be able to control it, too.”
“Before or after I fry the rest of the hair from your head?”
He sighed slightly.
“It’s just hair. It will grow back.”