by S. Cook
She laughed.
“How’s that working out for you?”
“Not well,” I reply honestly. “It gets worse. They’re worried that my manly parts might not work right now.” I motioned to my leg, and groin area.
“Should I call them up and give you a reference? The last time I noticed everything was working just fine.”
“Thanks, that is oddly…comforting to know.”
I threw my arm around her shoulders and she snuggled closer.
“Why did you go into the Army?”
“I felt like I had a duty.”
“There’s that word again. Duty.”
“I wanted to do something that mattered. Maybe I only wanted to be remembered for being brave and fearless.”
“And now?”
“I wish I could forget it all.”
There was a moment of silence, and then she asked the question I knew was coming.
“Why did you stay away for so long?”
“Because I was dealing with my own shit and couldn’t make it.”
“What shit?” she asked.
“I was paralyzed from the waist down for almost a year.”
She looked at me with wide eyes and gasped.
“What?”
“After the incident I had to have surgery. More than one. It felt like I was never going to leave the hospital. One surgery after the other and a lot of physical therapy. I wasn’t expected to ever walk again.”
“My god,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry to hear you had to go through all that.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. At least I didn't lose my life. I came home eventually. I should apologize to you.”
“Why?”
“Terry lost his life.”
“It was an accident. We’ve been through this already.”
“One that could’ve been avoided,” I said and hung my head in shame. “By me.”
“All accidents can be avoided. That’s why they’re called accidents.”
I didn't say anything, and I allowed a heavy silence to hang between us. The guilt still filled me to the core, and I’d give anything to change what had happened. Unfortunately, I couldn’t, and the memories that haunted me since that day, would no doubt stay with me forever.
“Gabriel?” her soft voice cut through the silence.
“Yeah?”
“How did you survive?”
“I wasn't as close to the explosion as he was. You don’t need to know the specifics.”
“No,” she said. “I don’t need to know the details.”
“All you need to know is that we had a deal. If anything happened to either one of us, we’d make sure the other’s family was okay. He would personally check in on my parents, and I’d check on you.”
“That’s mildly insulting.”
“Why?”
“I’m an adult. I don't need to be looked after. I’m the one who's been taking care of everything, including the bar.”
“I know you’re an adult. So are my parents. Our deal wasn't just about helping you. I wanted to make sure they were okay if I died, and Terry wanted to make sure that you’re not all alone.”
“I’m just a debt to you.”
I sigh loudly.
“No. Of course not. Stop thinking that.”
“Then what is it?”
“Terry and I wanted to make sure our families knew we were thinking about them when we were over there. All the time. It made us feel better knowing the other would keep their promise. I’m sorry it took me so long. He would’ve been thrilled about that part.”
“You’re here now,” she said. “Can I ask you something?”
I reach over and squeeze her hand, then hold it in mine.
“Sure.”
“Why me?” she asked. “I was just a face in a crowded club.”
I shook my head and tried to explain myself properly without upsetting her, which had proven to be a difficult feat so far.
“That night in the club, I had no idea that you were the person I had come to see. You wore way too much makeup and that dress was…”
“Trashy?” she interrupted.
“Yes.” I laughed and breathed a sigh of relief. “You said it, not me.”
“Let’s call it sexy. The word sounds better. It was the only thing in my closet that remotely resembled anything suitable for a night of clubbing. I don’t go out much.”
“That’s a relief.” My expression grew serious again. “The point I’m trying to get to is that you didn't carry yourself like you were wearing a trashy dress. Sure, your dancing was provocative and sexy as hell, and you have the mouth that could sometimes put a sailor to shame.”
I grinned at her nod of acknowledgment.
“I didn't see a trashy girl in a gold dress wearing too much makeup. I saw a beautiful, witty, albeit sarcastic woman who was strong and vulnerable at the same time. And when I kissed you it was like I had never kissed anyone before.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and she quickly blinked back a tear. She ran her fingers along my arm.
“Your skin is so warm,” she whispered.
“It’s the southern heat. I’m not used to it.”
She looked at me and I couldn’t stay away from those beautiful lips a moment longer. She moaned softly and opened her mouth without being prompted. My other hand trailed over her soft skin, from her shoulder down to her arm.
“Now tell me about you,” I whispered against her lips.
She opened her eyes and glanced at me.
“Like what?”
“Tell me whatever you think I need to know to make it alright for me to feel like this?” I whispered again and placed her hand on my chest, allowing her to feel my heart pounding wildly against my ribs.
She smiled slowly and reached up, wiping the sweat from my brow.
“Not here. You might dehydrate.”
“Good idea. Are you hungry?” I asked.
“Yes, you?”
“Ravenous.”
She chuckled and stood up.
“Let’s go find a place with air-conditioning. I don’t want to see you get all hot and bothered in the middle of a public park.”
Chapter Ten
Lynette
The first five minutes of the car ride to the restaurant was spent arguing over the radio. After a heated discussion regarding who was in charge and what the other could stand to listen to, we finally settled on the local pop station. I rolled my eyes and made gagging noises in my throat.
Gabriel laughed.
“This was the deal!”
The cold air-conditioning blasted against my skin. I shivered slightly and rubbed my hands over my arm. Gabriel reached over and touched my bare thigh.
“Too cold for you?”
Heat shot through me, radiating from his fingers to my center. He ran his hand over my leg slowly, keeping his eyes on the road. I shivered more from his touch than the cold this time.
“It's a bit chilly in here for me.”
He nodded as he moved his hand away to turn the air down and I immediately missed his touch.
“Where are we headed?” he asked.
“To a Chinese place,” I said, reaching forward and changing the channel on the radio.
He smiled down at my hand before grabbing it and kissing my knuckles, “Do you really want Chinese? We'll go wherever you want. What's your favorite place?”
“We're already almost there. And I really don't know. I don't eat out much.”
“Well there has to be somewhere you want to go.”
I shook my head.
“No, I've never thought about it. Never had time to think about things like that. Always been too busy taking care of Dad and the bar.”
His hand returned to my thigh.
“Then I'll pick. We're not getting Chinese.”
“Where then?”
“It's a surprise,” he said, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. My stomach grumbled again. “Don't worry it's not far
.”
Half an hour later we were pulling into a large parking lot.
“This place? This is your surprise? Somehow I was expecting something a little different.”
He grinned.
“What's the matter? Don't you like games?”
I looked out the window at The Arena, a multilevel game-filled complex. I had been there only once, just out of high school. I slipped out of the car into the heavy night air. Gabriel met me on my side of the car and reached for my hand.
“This is our official first date,” he said. “I'm going to buy you dinner and then I'm going to attempt to win enough tickets to get you a stupid stuffed animal,” he whispered into my ear.
I looked up into his smiling face to see his eyes twinkling with mischief.
“The last time I was here, I went bowling,” I said, looking up at the building.
“We can do that. I'm afraid I’m not very good. I would love to watch you play. I can keep score.”
I felt the heat of a blush run up my cheeks. Damn it! I was always forgetting about his leg.
“How did you even know about this place?”
“Found it when I was looking for somewhere to have a drink the other night. I thought it was a little rowdy for my mood at the time.”
I giggled.
“So you went to the gayest of gay bars instead?”
He smiled.
“That was a surprise too. I thought it would look a little less, I don't know, strange? To be a lonely guy sitting at a bar.”
I tilted my head.
“You would have fit in perfectly at my bar. Why didn’t you come there?”
“I knew where your place was and meeting you was exactly what I was trying to avoid until I was ready.”
He held the door open for me, letting my hand go as I slipped inside.
“And look how well that turned out for you,” I replied.
We settled on the fancier of the five restaurants inside the building. The tables were topped with white tablecloths and candles. Gabriel pulled my chair out for me before sitting down himself. We ordered quickly and then were left alone.
“So, what else do you want to know about me?” I asked.
“Normal stuff,” Gabriel answered, smiling.
I rolled my eyes.
“Come on, I don't know what to say. I feel awkward.”
“You're not very good at this are you?” he asked teasingly.
I picked up my water glass and took a sip.
“No, I'm not. I don't ever do this. I don't go on dates. I don't have time. That night you met me was the first night I'd been out in like months.”
“Okay, then I’ll ask the questions. What do you do for fun?”
“Fun? I don't think I do anything for fun. Oh god, I'm so fucking boring!” I cried, dropping my head to my arms.
Gabriel was laughing.
“Don't laugh, this is really sad. I told you I was bad at this.”
He reached out for my hand. His eyes were locked on me.
“I don't think that. I just don't think anyone has ever asked you before.”
I felt butterflies in my belly and I squeezed my thighs together against the subtle heat that was gathering between my legs.
“Baking,” I suddenly blurted out. “I like to bake. And I’m pretty good at it.”
He lifted his eyebrows in surprise.
“Baking?”
“Yeah, I took two whole classes on how to bake and decorate cakes when I was younger. With my Mom. I used to do it a lot before Terry passed away, and my Dad got bad and I had to take over. It's silly, I know, but I miss it sometimes. Baking was fun. Especially brownies. They’re my favorite.”
“Why don't you do it anymore?”
“Are you kidding me? My dad goes on benders and drinks everything in the house vaguely resembling booze so there goes all my vanilla extract. And then there's the cost of ingredients for me to play in the kitchen. Not worth it. Can’t afford the time or the money.”
“If it makes you happy,” Gabriel said, releasing my hand and settling back in his seat.
“Puppies make me happy too, but that sure the hell doesn't mean that I should get a dog,” I responded.
“I have a dog,” he pointed out. “It's a big black labrador. He loves to cuddle and chew everything. My parents got it for me after I came home from the hospital. They thought it would encourage me to walk.”
“Good Lord! What were they thinking? You weren't ten,” I said with a laugh.
“That's what I said at the time. They meant well.”
“You don't like the dog?”
“No, I love my dog. He grew much bigger than anyone thought he would and he's good company. For a hermit like me. He’s a good listener too.”
“Did he encourage you to walk?”
“Walking with him was more like being dragged behind a horse.”
“Something must’ve encouraged you to get up and walk. What was it?”
“Bedsores,” he said with a deadpan expression.
I twisted my face into a sickly expression.
“I'm kidding! But I’ve already talked enough about myself. It's your turn. So, we've got baking. What else makes you special?”
I blew air out of my mouth. Talking about myself wasn’t something I felt comfortable doing.
“I don't know what else to say. I'm boring.”
“You're not boring,” he said. “You run a bar. That’s unusual.”
Mention of the bar and the problems that went along with it sent a cold spike into my stomach.
“Could we not talk about that?”
Gabriel nodded.
“We'll talk about whatever you want to talk about.”
“That's not fair. I mean, to you. I just don't know what to say.”
He laughed.
“This is so strange.”
“Why?”
“Because three days ago I didn't know what to say to you. And when I finally did work up the courage to talk to you, you were the confident one.”
“This is different.”
“Because you're on the other side of table,” he said, smiling gently, running his thumb over my knuckles.
His voice was soft, no hint of malice. My stomach was filling with warmth, replacing the cold that had just been there. Gabriel's eyes flicked away from me as the server returned with our food. The woman smiled as she put the plates down in front of us.
My eyes widened at the size of the plate. I dug in. After a few moments, I stopped.
“Oh! This is really unattractive, isn't it?”
Gabriel was clearly holding back laughter.
“No, I like a woman with a healthy appetite. Not one of those phonies who pretend they only eat salad with fat free dressing then clean out the refrigerator when they get home.”
He speared a piece of steak off my plate and I scoffed. “Hey! What is with you and that?”
“What?”
“Eating other people's food right off their plate.”
He laughed around the piece of meat in his mouth.
“It's the only thing I've seen you get really mad about. I like seeing the fire in your eyes.”
“You want to make me mad?”
“I want to see you feel something,” he replied, eyes locked on me.
“Don't do that.”
“What?”
“That thing. That intense stare thing you keep doing. It’s distracting.”
He laughed.
“I'm not staring at you! I'm just not looking away.”
“Well no one else looks at me that way.”
“Good,” he said, satisfied with that answer. He thought for a moment and said, “I have a question.”
“Okay.”
“Why didn't you stay? That night with me, why didn't you stay the whole night?”
I was stilled by his question.
“Stay for what? For an awkward breakfast? With the man who was only in town for one day?”
“Yeah
.”
“Why did you even want me to?”
“Why wouldn't I want you to?”
I looked at him.
“I don't know. Because I wear too much makeup and my dress was trashy?”
“I'm pretty sure that you would have wiped off the makeup in the morning,” he said with a grin.
“Then you would have seen who I was. What then?”
“Then we’d definitely have something to talk about over our awkward breakfast.” He quickly ate the last bits of food on his plate. “Let's try something easier.”
“I'm ruining this, right?”
This was a mistake. Gabriel called the server over for the check. I sipped at my water self-consciously.
“Thank you.”
He handed the bill folder back to the server. I perked up as he stood. I pushed my chair back and he took my hand, helping me to my feet.
“Come on,” he said softly.
“I really shouldn't, we should just-” I started.
“We're going to play some games.”
“What?”
“Games, lots of them. You're going to relax and I'm going to win you something. Time for you to have some fun. Enough of this serious talk that’s making you uncomfortable.”
Gabriel turned out to be terrible at games. Every game was a bust for him. I snorted with laughter, shaking my head and rolling my eyes.
He laughed it off and handed me a roll of tokens.
“Here you try it, I'm terribly unlucky. Maybe you can win me something.”
“You knew you were bad at this so why would you want to do it?” I asked, laughing at his expression.
The sudden flash of the camera on his cell phone caught me by surprise. He turned the phone to face me.
The girl in the picture was happy and carefree. Not me.
“Come on. Take a picture with me,” he said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, holding the phone up to capture us both in the frame.
The girl staring back at me was frowning slightly, eyebrows pushed together.
“Smile,” he said and then he kissed my cheek.
In that moment my expression changed and the girl from the first picture returned. The camera flashed again.
“Gabriel!” I said, laughing, “Stop! I hate having my picture taken.”
“One more then. That’s all.”
He wrapped his arm around me, drawing me close. I fit perfectly in the crook of his neck.