by Eli Constant
"Well, you can't very well go to the ball dressed in those rags cinder-soot." I glanced down at myself and grimaced. I'd almost gotten used to all the dried beastie blood. The smell was practically gone too.
"Guess not. No way am I going to bag a prince in these filthy clothes. I look like what happened after the clock struck midnight."
"Shall we find the pretty lady a pretty dress then?" Jason walked over and picked the girls up, setting them down in the stroller's kids seats one by one.
"I was thinking something a bit more durable than satin and lace." I rolled my eyes and we headed to level two. The princess reference had quickly soured from cute to annoying.
The Eddie B. store was huge. We found outwear, boots, and several clothes changes for Jason and me. We even found a spare two person tent.
"Mom, look!" My body turned to where Megan and Kara were crouched down on the store floor. Megan was just lifting her body back up, apparently having been exploring under one of the shelving units. Kara watched her with interest as Megan held up a small package.
"What is it?" I couldn't quite see what the red thing inside the plastic was.
Megan leaped to her feet, pulling Kara along with her, and skipped over to me.
"Look!" And I did.
It was a small knife- red and stamped with a white cross. Jason walked up beside me.
"Wow Megan! I had one just like that when I was a kid." He took the package from her and pulled his own knife out of the sheath strapped to his leg. He carefully sliced open the plastic and handed Megan the little object.
"Wow," Megan gazed at the knife, turning it over in her hands admiringly. "Mom, can I keep it. Please?"
I couldn't see the harm in it and figured it might even come in handy. God, I hoped the knife never came in handy. "Sure. But it stays in your pocket and Kara is not allowed to hold it. Deal?"
"Deal." Megan stuffed the knife in her pants and smiled. I think Kara felt left out; she pouted and hugged my leg.
I patted her back. "Don't worry baby, we'll find you something extra special, okay?" Kara's small, trusting face looked up at me and smiled.
"O'tay, momma."
We were walking again, heading towards the mall exit; Megan spotted a luxury store. I couldn't deny her, so we made one last, quick stop. The smell of sweet peas filled my nose as Megan sprayed and sniffed. It was very nostalgic standing in the aisles and aisles of memorable scents. When I was a teenager, I'd get baskets of the lotions and body washes from this store for Christmases and birthdays. Maybe my relatives were trying to tell me something.
Kara picked out a lotion too. Although, I only think she picked it because the bottle color was pink. She held the little bottle up for me to see and I nodded, knowing she was asking for permission. She hugged the strawberry-scented lotion to her body like it was the most precious thing she's ever had.
Considering we hadn't celebrated Megan's tenth birthday or Kara's second, a pocket knife and a few bottles of sweet smelling water seemed piss-poor consolation. That angered me. So much angered me now.
Walking out of the store, I looked left and right, scanning for undergrounders like I would have checked for cars before crossing a street. Something didn't feel right. My stomach roiled uncomfortably. Only nerves. I was sure it was only nerves.
I walked slowly to the railing and, just as slowly, I leaned my body over, searching the lower, darker levels of the mall. I could see movement; skulking figures darted in and out of varied degrees of shadow.
"Jason, we're not alone." I whispered the words and I could hear him walking to the railing to join me. He told the girls to stay in the cart, his voice low and serious.
I felt Jason at my back, but I didn't turn. He would be next to me in a moment. I continued to stare, my eyes half-closed trying to see clearly into the shadows below.
Then they widened, the lids parting so far apart that I thought my eyes would bulge out of their sockets.
Out of the darkness, flew a crude arrow. I was paralyzed. Unable to move. It was going to strike its target true. And its target was me.
Penthouse
The scream jerkily built in my chest.
Why couldn’t I move? Why couldn’t I move!
The arrow flew swiftly, truly. I could see my death coming. I was frozen; waves of terror vied with feelings of relief.
No. I had to live. My girls… my girls.
At the last possible moment, that time when you are both about to die and live, my hands pushed upwards, launching my body away from the railing. The arrow bounced harmlessly off the ceiling and clattered to the floor.
I turned slowly. Jason was looking at the rough-hewn arrowhead. His eyes were wide, surprised.
I’d seen the beasties bearing weapons. He had too. But we’d allowed ourselves to feel a moment of safety. Shame on us.
We pushed the carts fast, the girls sitting awkwardly atop the spoils.
It took us ten excruciatingly long minutes to get back to the truck with our booty. Jason and I helped the girls climb in and they settled themselves in the sleeper cab. Shopping is such a tiring sport- especially when you’re dodging danger.
Jason cranked the engine. “The tank is still about half full… we can get maybe five hundred more miles of driving before we need to hunt down a new vehicle.”
I considered this. Either we traded for a less drafty vehicle that would get us fewer miles or we stuck with the semi-truck and endured the breeze from the busted windows. “Let’s stick with the truck for now.”
We loaded the bags. I glanced at the girls in the back, sprawled across the mattress and thought how nice it would be if we could all sprawl out for a night. It would also be nice to use a real restroom- even if we could only flush the toilet once.
The great thing about a hotel was there were plenty of toilets to flush. We’d have to bunker down, push furniture against the hotel door, but it would be worth it. Besides, I knew right where a great hotel was-- thanks to my spend-happy Aunt.
“Jason. What do you think about spending a night at the Canterbury Hotel? My Aunt said it was the Ritz-Carlton of Indianapolis.”
“I don’t know Elise. It’s a bit out of our price range. We’d blow our whole trip budget.”
“Always the comedian, Jason.”
“Alright, in all seriousness, we spent a lot of time in the mall. It’s well after three and I don’t think it’s a good idea to stick around here.”
I looked out at the sky, considering. He was right. It would be safer to high tail it out of here- put some distance between us and the undergrounders in the mall. But I was tired. I wanted to rest on a bed and pee in a damn toilet.
“We have plenty of daylight to move to the hotel, find a room, and shut ourselves in for the night. We can leave in the morning after full light.” I spoke with my hands, like that would get my point across better.
“I don’t think it’s smart.” Jason's eyes were tight at the edges, going over possibilities in his head.
In the end, after much debate, I won. It helped that we’d argued for over half an hour. It was a few minutes past four now; the sun was waning. I think Jason just caved because he was worried I’d argue until full night and then we’d be left exposed, outside a mall… a mall crawling with beasties.
Course, I wasn’t that stupid. I’d been ready to relent and hit the road, but luckily for me, Jason gave in first. One point for Elise.
We relocated the truck from blocking the garage to blocking the hotel entrance. Jason angled the vehicle so that the passenger door was about three yards from the entrance. We could make a quick exit if need be. No use locking the truck. Anyone or anything that wanted to get in just had to crawl through the window.
I grabbed Jason’s clothes duffel and stuffed in a change of clothing for me and the girls. I crossed my fingers that we could find toiletries in the hotel. I’d kill for a mini soap bar and a tube of toothpaste. At least if we couldn’t find deodorant, I could spritz my entire body with Megan’
s new berry scented spray.
The awnings were beautifully crafted in red and gold. The hotel was fit for royalty or that was the general idea.
The designer wasn’t too obvious in his intentions when he splattered a kingly crown across the window fixtures. The atrium was breathtaking. I felt like a red headed orphan. If I knew where the cleaning supplies were, I’d start washing the windows to earn my keep.
Megan and I supported Kara between us. She was tired and unsteady on her feet.
Plenty of late afternoon light poured in from the many windows. Above us, a crystal chandelier caught the sun rays and twinkled, sending dancing rainbows across the floor. Kara let go of my hand and pointed at the glittering colors. “Pre-tty.”
“Yes, baby. Very pretty.”
Megan was more interested in the elegant grand piano. Its image was reflected against a wall of mirrors. Megan pulled her hand out of mine and ran towards the ivory keys. They were beckoning to her and she obliged. Her small fingers stroked the keys lovingly.
Before the undergrounders changed our lives forever, Megan had been taking piano lessons from one of our neighbors. Megan wasn’t a prodigy, but she definitely had an ear for music.
She had only one song memorized. When she began to play it, the notes of ‘Lullaby’ filled the room. The sound resonated to the ceiling and spoke to the depth of the current human condition. The waters were dark and deep in our world that used to be emerald and all I could do was try to keep my children safe at the end of the day. Rock them to sleep in my arms and assure them that there would be another sunrise.
I pulled Kara up into my arms and sat down beside Megan. “Good night my angel…” I sang as my daughter played; I had always been a good singer. Kara snuggled into my side. My girls and I, for one blissful moment, forgot about the landscape beyond the hotel walls. I didn’t think about the fact that the hotel was full of dark corners and curtained rooms. I should have, but instead, I pushed the would-be-fear from my mind.
When Megan played the final notes of the song, my face was wet and the collar of my shirt damp. I hugged Megan and kissed my Kara on the cheek.
“My beautiful girls. I truly, truly promise I will never leave you.” Why do people make these kinds of promises? Ones that they can never be guaranteed to keep…
Hope. We make them because we have hope.
I looked up from kissing Kara and saw Jason staring at us. The expression on his face warred between hope and a physical pain. My eyes locked with his. He turned away from me.
“Let’s check-in, shall we?” He said. I could hear the briefest catch in his voice. The emotion was short-lived.
“Ah-ha. Penthouse suite anyone?” He dangled a key card in his hand, and his infectious grin was back.
I put Kara down and the girls and I walked over to Jason. I leaned my entire body over the counter and quick-searched the built in shelves. The middle shelf was stocked with medium-sized, plastic bags. I grabbed several of them and straightened back up.
“Whatcha got there?” Jason was standing with the girls now a few feet away from me, but he was tall enough that he could look over my shoulder with ease.
“I’m hoping it’s…” I opened one of the bags. “Jackpot!” I triumphantly held up a cheap white toothbrush. “No more dirty mouth fuzz and deodorant for all.”
Yep. I was thrilled to tears over toiletries. That’s life.
There were double elevators right across from the piano. We were fortunate. The hallway leading to the first floor rooms was dark and menacing. I refused to look at it; my brain was a broken record: get to the room, close the door, and sleep till morning. It’ll be safe and dandy.
We stepped into the elevator, the light was dimmer now. We didn’t have to guess what floor the suite was on. One of the buttons was marked PH. Jason went to push it, but Kara yelled ‘me.’ She was in my arms again and I let her lean away from my body; her little finger pushed in the PH button. It flared to yellow life and the elevator began to ascend.
The elevator doors opened and we were inside the penthouse. No hallways to walk, no dark corners. Another piece of luck.
The suite was white upon glistening white with rust red carpet that trailed up an elegant spiral staircase. Megan ran up the stairs and fell laughing onto the king sized bed. The room was in surprisingly pristine condition. The other hotels we’d been in had been pretty well wrecked.
“So…” Jason trailed off. “Guess I’ll take the couch.”
“Enjoy.” I smirked.
Megan did not want to come back downstairs to eat and get cleaned up. She said the bed was ‘the best ever.’
We all got to pee in an honest to God toilet (but didn’t flush) and we brushed our teeth with the minty hotel toothpaste. My body was still grimy and gross, but I’d get the girls in bed before I tackled that mess.
I combed the girls’ hair with my fingers and used baby wipes to clean their faces, hands, and feet. The girls stripped off their old clothing and threw them on the floor. I unzipped Jason’s duffel and pulled out the new clothes. Kara’s outfit was purple with little yellow flowers- a long sleeve dress with thick leggings. Megan got dressed while I helped Kara.
If we didn’t find diapers soon, Kara would be wrapped up in heaven knows what. How do you potty train a child when you don’t have access to a proper bathroom all the time? I tucked Kara in under the fluffy comforter. Megan crawled into bed, her body cozy in a blue turtleneck and flannel-lined pants.
“Night, night.” I said, patting Megan’s knees under the blanket.
“Night, mom.”
Kara didn’t say anything, already snoring softly.
I went back to the restroom and dampened a hotel towel with water out of the commode tank. It was wet and got the caked-on dirt and blood off my body. I tried not to think about what might be festering in the water. I could have used the baby wipes, but preferred to save those for the girls. I just couldn’t bring myself to clean my daughters with toilet water. Me? Sure, why not. I didn’t mind washing up in the poop-tank, but not my babies. It just felt… wrong.
I changed into a clean pair of sweat pants and a red sweater. Before heading to bed, I helped Jason move a large dresser. We butted it up against the elevator doors. It was a poor defense, but it was something at least.
I went up the stairs. Before crawling into bed, I looked down at Jason. He was lying on the couch, his head propped up by several cushion, and his gun was in his hand… just in case. I had a feeling Jason wasn’t going to rest well.
My girls were already sound asleep. They looked so peaceful. I didn’t need a handful of sheep to encourage me to join them.
When I woke up, I had one of those surreal moments when you forget what’s real and what’s dream. I rolled to my right, half-awake and half-expecting to see David sprawled out beside me. The soft, thick pillow and silky sheets caressed as I moved. But what my eyes saw on David’s customary left side of the bed, was not my husband’s stocky figure.
Instead, I saw two little lumps curled up under the covers. The girls were completely buried and snoring happily. A few strands of brown hair peeking out were the only indication they were there.
I let them sleep as long as I could. Finally, Jason said we had to get on the road. He looked well-rested, the dark rings under his eyes completely gone. I woke the girls reluctantly. The suite was flooded with mid-morning light. Back to reality. Then again, the peaceful night felt like unreality. No beasties disturbed our sleep. How… unusual.
We took highway 65 out of Indianapolis and about an hour of driving later, there was a gigantic baby store. A complete blessing because I had two diapers left and the vanilla protein shake- courtesy of the supplement store at the mall- was not cutting it for Kara. She’d refused to swallow the shake this morning, held it in her mouth for an insufferably long time, and then spit it all over the ritzy, white wallpaper of the penthouse suite.
I hoped the hotel wouldn’t charge me for damages. Never lose your sense of humor p
eople. Laughter comes in handy- especially when you want to strangle your stubborn child.
It was against my policy to have the girls out of my sight, but I knew I could run in a lot quicker without two pairs of tiny feet in tow. I left them in the truck with Jason. His bag of militant man toys minimized my worries. I grabbed a shopping cart outside the building and strode in. Entering the place, I felt a tiny, uncomfortable twist in my stomach. I must have just been nervous leaving my girls.
I made a beeline to the diaper section and grabbed two boxes of size four diapers and one box of size five. Kara was right at 32 lbs. She’d technically been a preemie, but had gained weight rapidly over the first year and a half. Now she was a big healthy girl and, as of last pediatric checkup, in the 95th growth percentile. Of course, that last checkup was many months ago. I had no idea how she ranked now- against other two year olds. I wondered how many kids were still alive for comparison.
After diapers, I headed for the food aisle. There were several options of formula for toddlers. Kara was slightly milk intolerant so I opted for a soy based powder. It was rare to have a choice. I threw five cans into the cart. I grabbed a few no-spill sippy cups too. Kara tolerated drinking through a straw, but it wasn’t her favorite.
Check out time. I had my eyes on the pavement walking out of the store, happiness soaking into my bones. It was so nice to be able to provide for my children.
Megan was leaning over Jason’s lap and waving out the broken driver’s side window. Jason turned his head from a forward facing position and smiled. My eyes ran the length of the truck. I was about to turn my attention back to the cab, but something caught my eye.
Long, sickly pale fingers curved from underneath the truck bed and wrapped around the rearmost tire. I almost overlooked it, but the fingers flexed menacingly and that miniscule movement was enough to catch my attention.
It was broad daylight and not a cloud in sight. This wasn't fair. Not fucking fair.
My best guess was this thing latched on to the undercarriage last night. I should have known better. It was a rookie mistake. We'd left the vehicle unattended. We should have thoroughly checked it out before hitting the road.