by Eli Constant
Relaxing my elbows meant they were inverted slightly inward. Relaxing my legs meant my knees were angled at 45̊ degrees backwards. Thankfully, my one other anatomical difference wasn’t obvious.
I showered methodically, keeping my body in check. The process of washing was a daily ritual. With more practice, it would be easier to appear totally human during normal routines.
Dried and dressed, we headed for breakfast. Each forward step helped me make peace with the time it would take to become part of this world. At least that time would be shared with a Mother and sisters.
I had momentarily forgotten him, but now Father resurfaced in my thoughts. I wasn’t sure how he would fit into my new existence. Father had explained that he couldn’t show unwarranted interest in a new child rescue. It would be too inconspicuous, out of character.
Things were changing, I was changing.
Even my advanced mind felt… lost.
Viable
It felt like I was being watched.
Walking down the hall with now three, not two, little girls felt strange. I was the adoptive mother of an adopted half-beastie… a little underhuman.
For all intensive purpose, Meg seemed completely human. Her mild anatomical differences were not obvious sheathed in clothing. For that matter, the differences weren’t that noticeable unsheathed.
I’d watched her shower. It made me feel a bit like a pervert, but I felt it necessary. Meg kept her body in check. Her joints cracked quietly, but that wasn’t uncommon in a purebred human. This could work. No, this would work.
Meg was smart enough to make it work.
Last night when Jason had walked in with Meg cradled in his arms, I’d felt a rush of mixed emotions. I’d felt the fear for her drain away and a sense of relief flood over me. That relief was tainted by uncertainty. What would she become? How many ripples had I projected into the pool of my life by adopting her? What would those ripples mean to Megan and Kara?
Meg was a heavy stone that splashed and sank to the bottom of our collective life. Would she stay buried at the bottom and become regret or would she gain buoyancy, a lightness of future, and rise to become better than any of us?
Uncertainties were hard to live with. Consequences were hard to swallow, but I’d learned over time that swallowing your own choice of poison is better than waiting for life’s surprise.
The biggest factor, in all my considerations, was that I loved the girl.
So, walking down that hall, holding small hands, I fought the lump in my throat. I forced it down deeper and deeper until only the slightest hint of unease remained.
I looked down at Meg’s shining, white hair. It was so beautiful. I gripped Meg’s hand a little firmer. Her responding squeeze made me smile. Hello, Daughter. Hello, Mother. An unusual circle of life it was. My tummy grumbled.
The circle of life apparently needed food.
“Eat up girls.” Oatmeal and canned peaches. “Meg, you’ve got a big day ahead of you. Megan and Kara, I’m counting on you both to help her find her way. You seem very smart Meg. I’m not sure if they’ll put you in nursery or set you up with classwork. We don’t have any other youngsters in your age bracket unfortunately.”
In an unnatural, practiced voice, Meg said ‘o-k.’
I felt bad for Meg. It didn’t matter where she went- nursery or class- she’d still feel like a MENSA member among toddlers, but she knew what was coming. I only hoped the tedium didn’t cause her to lose her patience and blow her cover.
It was funny to watch Meg take her first bite of oatmeal. The doctors had been feeding her anything that was easy to smuggle and store in the lab closet. She spent her four days after birthing on canned protein shakes; then she upgraded to canned fruits, and finally graduated to corn flake bars.
By the look on her face, I had the impression she was pining for a dry, semi-sweet bar over the gloppy mess stuck to her spoon.
“How’s your breakfast, Meg?” I studied her reaction to my question and her facial expression warred between politeness and honesty.
“It’s sticky and bland, but relatively nutritious, I’m guessing. Father said that many nutritious foods are curiously…” She trailed off, her eyes widening almost imperceptibly. She glanced at Megan and Kara, changing to her fake voice. “It not yu-mmy.”
I patted her on the back.
“Definitely an acquired taste. We eat it several times a week, so I’m sure you’ll get used to it.”
Kara hadn’t noticed Meg’s unusually strong grasp of language. Megan, my wonderful smart Megan, looked at me long and hard. I shook my head at her. She stared a short while longer, then shrugged her shoulders and finished off her own sticky bowl of oatmeal. We were lucky no one else sat in eaves-dropping range.
We all finished our food and carried our bowls to the wash basin. Kara insisted on walking and carrying her own bowl. She concentrated so hard, her little brow painfully furrowed.
“Where go-ing?” Meg again made the effort to sound the part of her looks, slowing her speech and stumbling slightly. I wanted to laugh, she was trying so hard.
“I’m still not sure about you, Meg, but Kara is going to nursery and Megan is going to school.” I was hoping I could convince the people running the makeshift classroom to allow Meg to attend, but I was worried that would be too suspicious.
I felt like a bad mother for a moment- I should know the names of my daughter’s teachers. I’d always known before now. Of course, before now, I’d had enough brain juice to concentrate on things like that. Now, I was on brain overload and my ‘warning, impending implosion’ sign was mentally, constantly flashing.
I spoke with the two teachers who ran the informal school room. They were both female, a Ms. Grace and a Ms. Sara. I explained that Meg was a new arrival and seemed a bit too old to stay in the nursery.
“She seems very smart. Perhaps you could keep her today for a trial run?” My hand rested on Meg’s shoulder. I could feel her nervousness as she shook slightly under my touch. Sara studied Meg for a moment.
“Meg, have you been to school before?” Ms. Sara asked, Ms. Grace having already begun the morning lesson for the older students.
“No,” Meg paused, screwing up her face like she was trying to figure something out “Day-care?” She made it a question. Meg affected an expression of childish sadness, but then her face brightened. “I sing A, B, Cs? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H…” She sang the song and then big-mouth grinned.
Meg was really improving in the acting department.
Ms. Sara smiled and bent at the waist, her hand extended to Meg.
“Well, I have some work books that might be perfect for you.” Meg smiled and took the offered hand. I watched her go, leaving me in a content, warm puddle of building emotion. Once Meg was settled in a desk, an open workbook in front of her, Sara returned.
“Thank you…” The woman held up her hand. I stopped talking.
“Before you thank me, let’s see how today goes. I have a couple of work books, but most of what I have is too advanced for her.”
“Actually, having spoken with her this morning, I feel she may be a little older than she looks, possibly around four years. I know her speech seems poor right now, but I have a feeling she’s a bit shy also.”
It was an impromptu plan change, but many children were below the growth curve. I hoped that the age change would help Meg.
“She’s quite small for her age.” Sara turned to look at Meg. The woman was skeptical, staring for a long while at the little girl with snowy hair. Eventually, she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “Nowadays, I’m surprised any of the children grow properly. Most of these kids arrived starved and tiny. Amazing what a few months of consistent meals will do.”
We exchanged pleasant farewells. Before leaving, I walked to Meg. I kissed her on the cheek and whispered her new age. She nodded. She understood. Her small body was still trembling slightly. I wanted to reassure her further, but my time was up.
It felt like such
a short while to prepare a child for a new life. The door closed behind me, but not before I caught an air kiss from my hard-working Megan. I tucked the sweet gesture in my pocket, saving it for later.
Head still swimming with wayward thoughts, I walked towards the science wing. I was planning on heading to Sub-Lab 8, but I changed course for Lab-3. I was sure Peters and O’Toole were desperately awaiting knowledge of Meg’s progress.
There was another creation, my creation, I’d neglected for some time now. His furry body scurried into my mind and I hoped the doctors were treating him humanely. The moment I’d sawed into his head, Acorn had become my responsibility.
I pushed through the double doors to the lab, ignoring the hellos and questions from both O’Toole and Peters. I had to make sure the little furry guy was okay before I did anything else.
Acorn’s cage was empty. The food bowl was licked clean and the water bottle contained a bare half inch of fluid. I whirled, prepared to dish out a legendary beat down over a squirrel.
“Where’s Acorn? What have you done with him?” It was easy to see I’d startled the good doctors. Peters even stepped backwards submissively. Yeah, I was the alpha-dog here.
“Elise, what are you going on about?” O’Toole recovered his composure and spoke calmly, as if trying to soothe a jumper. Life’s not so bad, don’t jump. Think of everything you’ll leave behind. The worst thing about saying something like that: The person wouldn’t be on the freaking ledge if they thought there was something worth living for.
“I’m asking where the hell the squirrel is. Where. Is. Acorn.” My fists inadvertently clenched into tight fists of rage when Peters’ face twisted into a show of amusement. “Doctor, the smile is not helping me calm down.”
“Oh, right… right. Sorry. I’d forgotten you named the squirrel. Come here, see for yourself. He’s fine.”
Both doctors were standing in front of Sheila-1’s cage. Of course that’s where they’d be. Without Sheila-2 around, it was natural for the doctors to re-fixate on the mother; I should have expected as much. I hurried over to the twentieth cage.
Sheila-1’s hair was longer now. For a moment, I saw beauty in her features, because I could see Meg in the anatomy. Then I saw what was cradled in her beastie arms. Then I saw what she was petting with her beastie paws.
“What the hell! Get him out of there… she’ll hurt him!”
“I assure you… Acorn, was it?” Peters asked, but didn’t wait for a response. “Acorn is perfectly safe. Since the project was scrapped, we saw no sense in retaining Acorn as an experimental pet. We thought it would be beneficial to Sheila-1’s development if she were to foster a sense of responsibility. She’s quite kind to him. And she’s been long weaned off meat as we feed only vegetarian diets so she’s not going to take a snap at him. Of course, we don’t think it’s possible to nurture away her attraction to eating her own kind, but we provide them with frozen humanoid whenever it’s available. Still, we’re confident squirrel meat isn’t on her dietary radar.”
“Ah… I have a theory about beasties eating beasties actually…” I trailed off, watching Sheila-1 rock the squirrel. She stroked his fur gently and cooed to him softly. “She seems to really like him.” It was surprising to me, seeing such maternal affection from one of the monsters.
Standing there watching Acorn and Sheila-1, I felt uneasy. It was a bit like watching your child walk alone to the ice cream truck and hoping the vendor was not a pedophile, but just a sweet old man who loved kids and cold treats.
Realizing how bent out of shape I was becoming over a squirrel, I forced myself to mentally release Acorn into the uncertain world. It wasn’t like I’d provided much protection to him before. Why start now? He seemed content.
I could see a little pile of blankets at the foot of Sheila-1’s bed. Food and water were neatly placed on the floor at the back of the small room. I couldn’t complain. Besides, it wasn’t like I could take him into the living barracks to cuddle up with me. My girls would have loved having Acorn though.
I was a bit embarrassed- an emotional state I seemed to frequently experience. “Well then, I guess that’s that. Thank you for taking care of him.” Peters smiled.
O’Toole was silent, regarding me as if he did not trust my change in attitude. “Elise, we may seem hard-hearted, but we are not unnecessarily inhumane.”
We talked for a short while longer. They were both eager to hear of Meg and were both happy that her integration was going smoothly. I felt sad for O’Toole. He wanted to see Meg and continue to strengthen the bond of father and daughter.
“I want you to see her too, but it will take time. We can’t draw undo attention to her. People will wonder why you suddenly take interest in a stray child.”
“I know, Elise. That knowing does not decrease my desire.” His face crumpled and he looked older than his age. “She is my only child and I feel I lost her just as I was gaining her.” I grasped his shoulder and tried to comfort him. I did not know the feeling of losing a child; I was unsure how to console him. I tried to move the subject towards something I thought would be less painful.
Unfortunately, my talent for striking sore nerves was on overdrive.
I asked the doctors what new project they’d been assigned.
“Apparently, our biggest priority is to continue recording and observing our subjects and their behavioral responses to the injections. We spend our time prepping new drug concoctions and writing endlessly repetitive notes. We also spend quite a bit of time doing nothing.”
“I don’t understand? When I arrived, you two were considered NORAD’s finest scientific assets. How can they have you just sitting around, wasting your potential?”
Of course, I knew why. The higher ups were counting on Sub-lab 8 now. Lab-3 was old news. I felt bad that I’d rendered these men null.
I would feel less bad if Jamie, Nick, and I succeeded.
“We didn’t pry. Besides, it’s almost like retirement. I’d always wondered what a life of leisure would feel like. Now I know.” Peters tried for positive, but sounded sullen.
O’Toole grunted in disgust. “It’s ridiculous that we sit around twiddling our thumbs. Something else is going on and I’m going to find out what.”
I nodded. “If I can help, I will.” Ugh. I hated deceiving people.
“Just keep your eyes open and your ears pressed to doors.” I nodded again, more aggressively. I tried to pull in the reigns- didn’t want to overcompensate and look like a flipping bobble head. I was lucky the Doctors’ suspicions after the lab break in had waned; I didn’t want to rekindle them.
I stayed just long enough to wrap up the conversation and give off an impression of unhurriedness.
Walking to Sub-Lab 8, my emotions were chaotic, my mind trying to digest current events. I stood at the door to the lab. I knew Jamie and Nick were waiting inside. I should have entered, should have helped them with the save-the-world project.
Instead, I turned around and I shirked my duties for a few more hours.
Sub-lab 8 was dead quiet and dark when I finally entered. I flipped a light and was more than a little surprised to see two heads pop up from Jamie’s cot. Thank God they were clothed. I’d had enough embarrassing moments to deal with lately.
“Elise! Hi.” Nick stumbled a bit over the words in his effort to extract himself from the cot. He ended up overturning it and sending him and Jamie tumbling to the floor.
“Ouch!” Jamie disentangled herself first and got up, rubbing her butt.
“You need more cushion back there. Nick, you need help?” The poor guy was kicking his legs, trying to get the covers off.
“Nope, I can do it. Just give me a minute.” The time it took him from saying ‘give me a minute’ to the event of him standing up, was almost comical. Jamie, still nursing her bum, laughed at him.
“I sure can pick them, can’t I Elise?”
“Well, I’ve only known you for a very short time so I can’t judge your past romances,
but I’d say Nick’s a keeper.” Nick grinned sheepishly. “There seems to be an awful lot of relaxing going on here. Did you guys get tired of work and turn to play?”
“Don’t start! Where have you been?” Jamie pouted.
“Um… hiding from you actually."
We both laughed.
“So… what’s new?” I immediately regretted asking.
Jamie was literally bouncing as Nick started spouting technical terms and nerdy explanations for what he’d accomplished since the prior evening.
“Once again, do you understand that I’d need a translator to get what you’re saying? Give me the brain any day, this computer crap is beyond me.” Nick paused for a moment, took a breath, and began speaking very slowly. Smart ass.
“My programming works, the tech is Nano to the atomic level. Assigning the necessary electron charge was a pain in the ass, but I was able to simulate it by reproducing the properties of a negative, magnetic pole. Jamie,” And he grabbed her into a hug, “finished the composite vector to target all six dissimilar humanoid chromosomes and we’ve contained it within the artificial Oxygen atom where it acts as the molecular weight of the atom. It took us 14 hours straight, but the artificial O is bonded with the natural O and we are ready to test.”
Jamie was still bouncing in excitement. Watching the two together- so excited over their accomplishment- I began to feel the weight on my shoulders lift by the tiniest degree.
“You’ve seriously accomplished all that in a matter of hours? Seems impossible… have you reported to upstairs?”
“Elise, we celebrated by crawling into bed and sleeping.” Jamie exchanged a glance with Nick. “Well, mostly sleeping.”
“Enough info. If I want the play by play, I’ll check the security cameras.”
“What!” Jamie’s high pitched screeching hurt my ears.
“I was only kidding, Jamie.” I grimaced and massaged my ears dramatically. “Did you guys get any sleep?”