by Tricia Barr
I sloppily parked the car in a spot at the empty end of the lot because I wasn’t quite ready to try maneuvering into a tight spot in the front. I charged ahead of Carmella, eager to get inside like a kid on Christmas morning. She had apparently bought a pass that included several of the attractions on the Strip, so we were able to just go right to the amusement park.
We went on one ride after another, some over and over again. My favorite was the Canyon Blaster. We must have ridden it at least three times. After two hours, Carmella needed a bathroom break, and I needed a sugary beverage.
I got in line at the concession stand and looked around at all the other people having fun. For the first time in a long time, I felt like a real kid. I wondered if this was how Pinocchio felt when the fairy animated him. So close to real, yet not quite there. Because all the teens and younger kids around me were with their parents. Seeing their familial love only reinforced all the ways in which I was different from them.
Before I could descend into a pity party, the sound of a little boy crying behind me got my attention. “Mommy! Where’s my Mommy!”
I turned around, the lost child in me wanting to help the boy. I followed the sound of the crying until my eyes found the source. The boy’s color was muted, and he was almost transparent, flickering in and out of substance as he looked all about with his little bobblehead. Now I understood why no one else had stopped to help him. They couldn’t see or hear him.
At the realization that he was a ghost, my inner defenses automatically went up. I wanted to turn back around and ignore him like everyone else. If I acknowledged him, every other ghost in the area would want a piece of me too. But the innocence he exuded appealed to my own tainted innocence. Against my better judgment, I stepped out of line and approached the ghost boy.
He saw me smile at him, and his sunken eyes lit up with hope and need. “Please, can you help me find my mommy?” he asked, wiping his tearless eyes.
“I can try,” I said, his cuteness despite his deadness tugging at my heartstrings. “Where’s the last place you saw her?”
The boy looked all around in confusion. “I…I don’t know.”
The longer I stood in his presence, the more I could feel a sort of…invitation, like there was an invisible portal in the fabric of the spirit world. I could feel it the same way you can feel when a window or a door is open, that soft shift in the air. But the invitation wasn’t for me, it was for him.
“Do you see a light?” I asked, going with a hunch—people always say they see a light when they have near death experiences, right?
The boy nodded with a pout.
Hunch correct. “Well, why don’t you follow it? I bet your mommy is there waiting for you.”
The boy shook his head, his little brown bangs bouncing on his forehead. “I already went there, and she wasn’t there. So, I came back.”
Hmm, wasn’t expecting that. Wasn’t the light supposed to take spirits to the afterlife or something? Heaven maybe? If that were true, how could a soul come back? Was the system broken? Or perhaps I just didn’t know as much about it as I thought.
“I think you should try again,” I said. “I’m sure you’ll find her there if you keep looking.” I gave him an encouraging smile.
The boy gave a big sigh that lifted his little shoulders. “Okay.” And then he turned around and blinked out of sight.
The air around me suddenly felt empty and cold. I rubbed my arms and noticed a couple staring at me like I was a freak. I shrugged and said, “Dead boy, couldn’t find his mom.”
They made disgusted faces and turned away like I didn’t exist, then rushed away from me as fast as they could. I shrugged again and chuckled to myself. I was used to people thinking I was crazy. It wasn’t like I was the only person in this town that talked to invisible people. Clearly, that couple had never seen the homeless man who frequented the Bellagio sidewalk and yelled at no one. Oh great, now I was comparing myself to a doped-out hobo. Wonderful confidence booster.
“I thought you were getting a soda,” Carmella’s voice called as she came up beside me.
“Yea, I…got distracted,” I said.
“Well, come on, we have more to do,” she said. “Stratosphere, here we come!”
I smiled and let her escort me out of the Adventuredome, but I couldn’t shake the strange feeling from the encounter with the ghost boy. It had me really questioning things for the first time. How could he go into the light and come back? If he came back again, would he track me down and keep bugging me? And what about my parents? What happened to their souls after they left me? I had always been somewhat comforted in the knowledge that their souls didn’t stick around, that maybe they’d found peace. But what if the light led to nowhere?
“Happy birthday to you!” Upon the completion of my birthday song, the room erupted in applause. I smiled, shifting awkwardly under all the attention.
“Who wants cake?” Carmella asked over the raucous, only to invite more raucous from all our cake-hungry guests.
Carmella sliced into the huge fudge-frosted chocolate cake and began distributing pieces around the room, after giving me the first piece, of course. All of the attendees were either employees of Luca or the children of said employees. The majority of said children were teens too, and thankfully had little to no knowledge of the kind of work their parents did or who I was, which meant they were friendly toward me. Or at least, they didn’t shirk me for being the Vegas princess or a freak who talks to people who aren’t there.
The party was at our place. Luca had suggested throwing it at some place fancy, like the Ice Bar, but I really didn’t want anything super extravagant. I was just grateful that there were actual kids my age this time.
As we all ate cake, I attempted to infiltrate the group of teens that had gathered outside in the backyard.
“Hey, it’s the birthday girl,” one guy said, stepping aside to let me join their circle. He was actually pretty cute, with spiked brown hair and dimples, and I had the feeling I was blushing as I returned his smile.
“Happy birthday,” a few of them chorused invitingly.
“I’m Jonas,” the first guy said. “And this is Michelle, Lanie, Tyler, and Sam.” He introduced the other members of the circle, and they each waved at the mention of their name.
“You all know each other?” I asked, surprised.
“Yea, we go to school together,” Michelle, the pretty blond girl informed me.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you around before,” Lanie, the spectacled girl with dark hair in a ponytail said. “What school do you go to?”
I tried to sound nonchalant when I answered, “Eh, I’m homeschooled.”
“Why?” Tyler asked. I got the feeling he was a jock of some sort, he was wearing a team jacket.
Lanie elbowed him and scolded hushedly, “Tyler!”
“No, it’s okay,” I said, shrugging to one side. “It’s just what L—uh, my dad wants. It’s alright, I get to work at my own pace online, but the downside is I don’t get out much.” I ended with a nervous laugh.
“Man, I’d go stir-crazy if I had to stay home all the time,” Jonas said.
“Not to mention you’d miss access to these hotties,” Tyler said, playfully nudging Michelle’s arm with his, and she giggled and nudged him back. I assumed they were an item.
“Not that you’re not hot,” Lanie said to me, rolling her eyes at Tyler. “You’re really pretty.”
I half smiled and laughed. “Uh, thanks. I think.”
“Well, I think you’re beautiful,” Jonas said, turning to face me. I was so not used to this kind of attention, especially from a cute guy, so I stood there dumbly like a deer in the headlights. “Wanna dance? I love this song.”
The song was “Yeah” by Usher, and I loved it too.
“How the hell am I supposed to leave?” I quoted the song, and he laughed, took my hand, and led me to an open grassy area where we began to dance.
The circle dissolved and
came to reform around us, and soon the backyard was transformed into a dance floor, filling with teens and adults alike. I danced with my new circle all night, every now and then getting happily smooshed up against Jonas. This was by far the best birthday of my life!
“You should convince your dad to let you go to our school,” Jonas had to shout over the noise. “I would love to see more of you.”
Oh, those dimples!
“Yeah, that would be nice,” I said. I wasn’t going to mention that I was on the verge of graduating a year early. Heck, if it meant I could see this hunky Freddy Prince Jr. lookalike every day, I wouldn’t mind sticking it out for another year and graduating on time.
The party went late into the night, until groups at a time started leaving. Michelle and Lanie sent me friend requests before they hugged me goodbye, and to my complete squealing-school-girl bliss, Jonas gave me his number before he left—I waited until he was all the way out the door to actually squeal.
I was so unbelievably happy! Just the mention of going to a real school got me a hot guy’s phone number! I definitely had to get Luca to agree to let me go.
I looked around the mostly empty house, but he was nowhere in sight. Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen too much of him tonight. When Carmella and I had returned home from a day on the Strip, he had seemed normal, like he had forgotten our little squabble last night. He had said he would wait to give me my present until later, so maybe that’s what he was doing right now.
Either way, I wanted to find him. If he was in a good mood, which he should be after this awesome night, I was sure I could persuade him on the school issue.
Carmella came in from the backyard with a garbage bag of plastic cups and frosting-smeared paper plates.
“Carmella, have you seen Luca?” I asked.
She looked up at me as she shoved the bag into the larger garbage can in the kitchen. “Smooth came over a little while ago, so I think they might be in his office.”
I nodded. So much for not conducting business here.
“Did you enjoy your party?” she asked. “I saw you flirting with that boy. He was a cutie.” She winked.
I felt my cheeks warm, so I looked away. “Yes, I loved my party. Thank you!” I came up and gave her a big hug of appreciation. “Can I help you clean up?”
“No, don’t you worry about it,” Carmella said, withdrawing from the hug. “It’s late. You should go to bed.”
“I need to find Luca first,” I said. “He still owes me a present.” I waved goodnight to her and then headed up the stairs.
Luca’s office was on the third floor of the condo. Pretty much the whole third floor was his, aside from the exercise room which was for Carmella. I skipped up the second flight of stairs, hearing his and Smooth’s voices halfway up. Yup, they’re both in there.
I finished my ascent and walked through the exercise equipment toward the office.
“I can’t believe she’s seventeen already,” Smooth’s voice said.
Oh, so they’re talking about me. A little bit of spying never hurt anyone.
I stood against the wall beside the open door, biting my thumb as I listened in on their conversation.
“You’re telling me,” Luca said. “She’s growing up way too fast. You know, last night she told me she wants to go away to college. I don’t want her to leave.”
“When you first adopted her, I thought you’d make a terrible father,” Smooth said. “But you do alright. And you have to learn the lesson that all fathers learn—your kids are gonna leave eventually. Whether it be college, a job, or marriage. Did you see the way she had that guy wrapped around her finger? Girl’s a playa.”
“Smooth,” Luca said warningly, alerting Smooth he was getting into dangerous territory.
“Whatever. You know what I mean,” Smooth said.
Listen to him, Luca. I need to spread my wings and fly. Smooth was my favorite person right now, unknowingly preparing Luca for the continuation of our little talk.
“I never thought I would grow so attached to her,” Luca said after a pause. “I did love her father, you know. Dan was one of my best friends.”
I smiled at the mention of my father. Dad was Luca’s accountant, but you’d never know they weren’t brothers for how close they were. I would always be eternally indebted to Luca for continuing to act as my pseudo-uncle after his brother-from-another-mother left this world.
“Do you think she’ll ever figure out that you’re the one that offed him?”
Wait, what?
“Shhh!” Luca hissed, then continued in a lower register. “No, and I hope she never does. We’ll all have hell to pay if she ever finds out.”
My eyes were burning into the wall in front of me so hard that I thought lasers would come out of them and blast through to the next room. My hands were balling into fists so tight that my nails cut into my skin, and my jaw clenched forcefully. It was as if my whole world was crumbling around me, and I couldn’t tell up from down, left from right, truth from lies.
Luca had my parents killed. After all the shit about promising we’d catch their murderer, he was the one who orchestrated it all along. Everything we had been through together was a lie. All the love I had foolishly felt from him, for him, had been nothing but a veil pulled over my eyes, and it now rotted into pure hatred in my chest.
I invited the memories of that night to revisit me now, connecting the dots. I had never before questioned why Luca was there so soon after they were killed. It wasn’t unlike Luca to make spur of the moment visits, but never in the wee hours of the night. He must have come to make sure his goons finished the job—by killing me too. But why would he kill them? He said that my father was his best friend. And if he had also wanted me dead, why did he spare me, much less adopt me?
It was time to get the truth. Luca owed me that.
I wiped the betrayal off my face, crept back across the gym, and then retraced my steps more loudly, announcing myself. I came into their line of sight and leaned on the doorframe.
“Happy birthday, Lor,” Smooth said, smiling his hundred watt smile as if he hadn’t just been talking about the murder of my parents. “We were just talking about you.”
“I bet you were,” I said coolly. “Would you excuse us? I want to have a word with Luca.”
Luca gave Smooth a knowing look, then nodded for him to leave the room.
“Catch you guys later,” Smooth said, then swaggered out of the room and down the stairs.
We were alone now. I closed the door…and turned the lock.
“What’s on your mind?” Luca asked, wearing a friendly expression. “I expected you’d be passed out after your party.”
“You and I have business to discuss,” I said.
He sighed. “Yes, I guess we do.”
“Why did you do it, Luca?” I asked, seeing no point in beating around the bush. “Why did you kill my parents?”
Fear took root in his dark eyes, but the only change in his face was the subtle flattening of his smile.
“What are you talking about, Lorelei?” Luca asked me like I was crazy. “You know I loved your parents like family. I’m the one helping you hunt down the killer, remember?”
“Cut the crap, Luca,” I snapped, crossing my arms. I adopted the same dangerous tone I reserved for Luca’s enemies. How ironic. “I overheard you and Smooth just now. The jig is up. I just want to know why.”
Luca threw up his hands. “Alright, fine,” he said in his businessman tone. “Yes, I killed them. Your father was my accountant, as you might recall. Well, I found out that he had been embezzling from me for years. Friend or not, I don’t tolerate anyone stealing from me.”
“You don’t steal from friends.” That’s what the man in the suede boots said before he shot my parents. I was blind not to figure it out before now. I was a damned fool!
“They weren’t just your friends,” I said. “They were your best friends. They were family! How could you turn your back on that?”
“Hey, I’m not the one who turned my back, he was,” Luca argued. “Family doesn’t steal from family. He turned his back on me when he started lining his pockets with the money I trusted him to manage.”
“You’re a bastard!” I sneered.
“That may be,” he said with a shrug. “But don’t you forget that I’m the bastard that raised you for the last six years. Haven’t I been a good father to you? I have given you everything.”
“You wouldn’t have had to raise me if you hadn’t killed my parents,” I said. “Maybe that’s why you did it. Penance for your guilt over taking them away from me.”
Luca put his hands together so that his fingers were pointing upward, then tapped his index fingers against his chin, as if considering whether to say something.
“I don’t make decisions based on emotion,” Luca said, eyes staring at me like daggers, aimed to hurt. “Sparing you was purely a business decision. After I saw how you killed my man by just willing it, I knew that I could use you to my advantage. You would be my ultimate weapon. You would make me a king.”
His words did what they were meant to. My chest was blazing with the wound he just dealt me. All this time, I thought he loved me. I knew that he was using me to some extent, but I didn’t realize that was the full scope of our relationship. I was nothing but a pawn to him.
“But we have both gained from this little adoption, haven’t we?” he asked, opening his hands in a questioning gesture. “If I am the King of Vegas, you are surely its Princess. So, what do you say we sweep this whole thing under the rug and go back to the way things were? I’ll even agree to pay your tuition to any college you want to attend. I’ll even buy you a car.”
The pain of the insults and the soured affection from his previous statement now boiled into fury. After everything he’d said tonight, he thought he could just buy me off! I always knew that he was as bad as they come, but I thought that I was safe from his wickedness, that I was exempt. Turns out bastards don’t know what love is.