“Because… because he thinks I deserve better.” Because he feels he’s not a real man anymore.
“Well, that nonsense is just another clear sign that he’s fallen head over heels for you. Now you just have to encourage him to take the first step.”
Realization trickled into Agnieska’s bones and suddenly his erratic actions made sense. She wanted to shake the stupid pride out of him, and tell him how things really worked. That she didn’t want anyone else but him.
“Now go and make sure Stan knows you’re not interested in that other man. He’ll come around in time. He needs a strong woman like you in his life. He is not good at being alone.”
On her way back to the farm, Agnieska fluctuated between being angry with him and wanting him to wrap her into his arms and kiss her again.
Chapter 15
By the time she reached the farm house the sun was already low on the horizon. It cast a golden light across the fields and for a moment she saw the yellow sheaves bowing their heavy heads in the breeze like it used to be all those years ago. She blinked and the image evaporated, the fields lay barren, except for the green patches Stan and Tadzio had planted in a Herculean effort to beat time.
The air was still warm, but it smelled of rain, cool nights and the end of summer. It was the season to pick blackberries, mushrooms, and hunt deer. She would have to ask Malgorzata how to salt meat to keep it for winter. If – if Stan would even be able to go hunting. All Poles had been ordered to turn in their weapons to the new authorities, but she knew that Stan kept a rifle hidden in the shed. Well, maybe not in the shed anymore, since Amos had taken up his quarters there.
Her mind drifted from the carpenter’s friendly person to Stan’s grumpy self. Others would probably tell her to have her head examined, but she preferred the boisterous, moody, brooding man with a wooden leg a hundred times over the quiet, kind and soft-spoken Amos. Just how should she encourage bull-headed Stan to take the first step like Malgorzata had suggested?
When she rounded the corner she all but bumped into Stan, whose resulting scowl could frighten a scarecrow.
“There you are! I was worried about you.”
“I was walking off my anger at you.” She didn’t want to mention her visit with Malgorzata for fear he might ask her what the two women had been talking about. She wouldn’t be able to lie to him, but she couldn’t well tell him what Tadzio’s mother had suggested, either.
“I guess I deserved that,” he said, his striking blue eyes settling on her. Unsettling her. The guilty look on his face didn’t take an ounce away from his attractiveness and she squirmed under his scrutinizing gaze.
“Probably,” she said, ducking her head and walking around him into the kitchen. But he followed her like a puppy and flopped onto one of the chairs, boring his stare into her back. It was unnerving.
“What do you want?” she finally snapped and turned around to glare at him. The man sitting across her looked like a drowned rat and the guilty look on his face endeared him even more to her.
“We need to talk,” he said and gestured at the chair opposite him. “Please?”
She nodded, smoothed her hands down her dress and walked over to where he sat with her heart racing. Would he tell her to leave? She didn’t want to leave. Despite his mood swings she couldn’t imagine being without him by her side.
Since she’d appeared on his doorsteps two months earlier, she’d grown accustomed to having him around. Talking to him. Joking with him. Laughing with him. He always made sure she had everything she needed and she hadn’t felt so safe in years like she did in his presence. The only drawback were the times when he acted like a jealous ass… she bit on her lips to prevent herself from laughing. How could he even suspect that she liked a bland man like Amos?
As soon as she settled on the chair, he started to talk. “I’m so sorry… I had no right to talk to you like I did… I’m so angry. Disillusioned. Sometimes it overwhelms me and I explode. But you know I would never hurt you, right?”
“I know this, but…”
“But? Are you afraid of me?” he asked, his agitation visible in the contorted expression of his face.
“No.” She smiled. “I used to be afraid of you when we were young. Everyone was. You had quite the reputation.” His embarrassed expression was priceless. “But that was a long time ago. We’re both grownups now and we’ve gone through ordeals nobody should have to experience.” She stopped, a shudder racking her shoulders.
“If I could make it all up to you, I would.” His wonderful blue eyes softened, caressing her, showering her with tenderness.
“I know you would, and believe me, you’re the reason why I have never been happier in my life, despite the awful things that happened.”
“Really?” He beamed with delight, taking her hand between his huge paws. She loved the rough scratch of his callouses on her skin, wishing for nothing more than being wrapped up in his arms.
“Really,” she answered. “It doesn’t mean that I’m not sad, angry, hurt, and damaged from what happened. But the past is part of what defines us and what formed us into becoming the persons we are now. I, for my part, want to focus on the present, and a brighter future.”
“Agnieska, I… you’re a much better person than I am. You have such a gentle spirit, that even the Nazis couldn’t crush. I promise I’m going to control my temper better from now on.”
“I don’t even understand what set you off,” she said. “I believed you’d love the fact that we found someone to repair the roof before winter.”
A shadow fell across his face. “You’re right. I ought to be delighted, but, the moment I first saw Amos, I was afraid he’d steal you away from me.”
Malgorzata was right! Agnieska widened her eyes in shock. “You’re acting like this because you’re jealous?”
“I’m afraid so. Remember I told you there can’t be anything between us but friendship?”
She nodded. Of course she remembered. How could she not remember the single most hurtful words he’d ever said to her?
“I lied.”
“You lied? Why?” she gasped, hot shots of longing coursing through her veins.
“Because I want only the best for you, and I’m not the best you can have.” After the critical words, he looked so sad that it slashed her heart.
“Do I get a say in what is good for me?” She tried a small smile, wanting him to stop being so stubborn and just take her into his arms.
“If you insist…” Stan bent forward and leveled his bright blue eyes with hers. Suddenly the world stopped spinning and Agnieska jumped deep into the soul that lay hidden beneath those eyes. She had no idea how and when, but when reality reminded her of its existence, she was in his arms, pressed against his hard chest.
“I want to kiss you,” he whispered into her ear.
Agnieska’s eyes widened, stupefied. She raised her head to look at him and the tenderness in his eyes was all she needed to reply, “Yes. Kiss me.”
Stan raised one hand, threading his fingers through the hair at her nape and angling her head for his possession. Ever so slowly his lips came down, hovering over hers for a moment, before they finally landed on her mouth. The tender touch electrified her, sending hot shivers racing through her.
She wondered what she was expected to do, but the wetness of his tongue tracing her lips scrambled her wits and would turn her into a blubbering, moaning mess in another second. His mouth moved away from hers to place little kisses across her cheek, giving her the time to recover from the sensual attack.
Panic rose in her. “Wait, Stan.”
“What, sweetheart?” His mouth had reached her earlobe and nibbled at it, sending the butterflies in her stomach into frenzy.
“Don’t stop kissing me just yet,” she whispered. Surprised by her boldness, she quickly closed her eyes, hoping he hadn’t heard. But no such luck.
Stan gave a low, growling chuckle. “At your service, ma’am,” he murmured, kissing his w
ay back to her mouth. His hands held her still, but she was desperate to get closer to him, soak up his heat, and feel the strength of his hard body.
A moan escaped her throat, which seemed to spur him on, because he intensified the pressure on her lips and she parted them for him. This time she was prepared to receive his tongue and the intense pleasure silenced the nagging voice in her head saying that a decent woman didn’t behave like this.
His tongue delved deeper, flooding her nerve endings with sensations she’d never felt before. The tingling his exploring tongue caused in her mouth rolled all the way down to her toes, before it pooled deep between her legs.
If it weren’t for his big hands holding her tight, her legs would have given out beneath her. Never had she felt so weak before. Never had she felt so good before. Never had she been kissed like this. Electricity flowed with every lap of his tongue, shooting straight to her core and making her shiver with an unfamiliar need.
He seemed equally affected, grinding his pelvis against her as his tongue thrust into her mouth, mimicking what he wanted to do with other parts of his body. Agnieska’s brain went blissfully blank and she surrendered to the sensations he created, ignoring the little frisson of fear that urged her to pull away from him.
Strength. Determination. Need. It was all there in his kiss. He tasted her with his tongue and teeth, exploring her mouth with abandon while she all but melted in his arms. Her hands clutched him tightly and when he moved she discovered that she had wedged one thigh between his own without even realizing she’d been seeking more of his touch.
Stan broke away from her mouth with a groan and spun them both around until her back was pressed up against the closest structure, the back wall of the staircase. He held her captive with his hot body, his lips returning to hers and both of his hands cupping her neck.
She moaned into his mouth, her hands clutching his shoulders as she held on for the sensual ride. There was so much feeling in a simple kiss; she feared she’d faint into his arms if he continued the assault on her senses.
The sound of Amos clearing his throat tore Agnieska from her blissful state and she pulled her head away from Stan’s kiss so hard that she banged it on the wall behind her. Stan released her, breathing heavily and looking like he wanted to commit murder over the intrusion.
She dropped her eyes, embarrassment at having been surprised in such a delicate position making her cheeks and ears burn.
“Stop looking like the world just ended. We didn’t do anything wrong,” Stan whispered, shielding her from Amos’s view with his broad body. She was thankful for the time Stan gave her to compose herself and straighten the wrinkles in her skirt. But how would she ever be able to look Amos in the eye again, after he’d seen her acting like a veritable harlot? Agnieska straightened her spine before stepping out from behind Stan’s back.
“I’m sorry. I thought I heard noises,” Amos said, apparently as embarrassed as she was.
“Dinner will be ready in ten minutes,” Agnieska replied, pretending nothing had happened.
Her body still vibrated with sexual tension as she heated the stew and she wondered what would have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted. Could a woman die from pure bliss?
Chapter 16
Stan wasn’t ashamed of kissing Agnieska, but one glance at her told him that she was deeply embarrassed having been caught red-handed. So he decided to usher Amos out of the kitchen to give her the opportunity to compose herself.
“Could you lend me a hand outside?” Stan asked him.
“Sure,” Amos said, but the disapproving glint in his eyes belied his answer.
Stan walked out with his rival on his heels. The distress of dashed hopes rolled off of Amos in waves and Stan almost felt sorry for him. He’d always sensed that Amos had set his sights on Agnieska. Understandably. But he wouldn’t get her. Not as long as Stan had a say in the matter.
His heart rejoiced as he remembered the kiss. Where kisses were concerned, this one had knocked the breath out of him and he didn’t dare imagine what would have happened, if they hadn’t been interrupted.
Once again he reminded himself that he needed to take it slow with Agnieska. She wasn’t an easy woman. And he sure as hell didn’t want to scare her or make her regret anything.
“What did you need help with?” Amos asked, leaving Stan flustered for a moment.
“Ah…” His glance fell on a piece of wood he’d been polishing to make shelves. “I can’t carry this up to the porch by myself.”
Amos gave him an unbelieving stare, because he’d seen Stan carry heavier things. But he helped without another word.
“Dinner is ready,” Agnieska called from the kitchen.
“I’ll eat later. I need to finish some work on the roof before darkness settles,” Amos said.
“Sure man. I’ll tell her to keep your meal warm.” Stan gave a deep and satisfied sigh when Amos disappeared around the corner of the house. The man had understood the message. He wouldn’t dare make a move on Stan’s woman.
* * *
The next morning Stan woke as someone snuck into the kitchen where he slept. He squeezed open one eye in the incomprehensible hope it was Agnieska coming to repeat their kiss. But to his disappointment it was Amos, cutting a few slices of bread and stuffing them into his shoulder bag.
What the hell? Stan opened both eyes, and asked, “What are you doing?”
“I’ve stayed too long as it is. I need to get moving or I won’t reach my destination before the weather turns,” Amos answered.
Stan heard his words and saw them for the excuse they were. It wouldn’t do any good to humiliate the man, so he got up, handed him a bag of potatoes and said, “Safe travels.”
“Thanks… and take care of her.” Amos stepped outside and walked toward the road.
“What just happened in here?” Agnieska entered the kitchen, a suspicious look on her face.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Amos left.”
“He… did what?”
Stan took a step toward her, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. She melted into his arms and he couldn’t care less what Amos did or said. But the peace only lasted a few moments, before she pushed out of his embrace and gave him a stern look. “Did you have anything to do with his sudden departure?”
“No. Cross my heart and hope to die.” He made the motion in the center of his chest.
She giggled and slapped his shoulder. “You better not get caught breaking that oath.”
“You have known me long enough to know that I never break a promise.”
“I have.” Her deep pools of green locked with his and a warm feeling spread from his heart into his entire body. A crazy desire followed the warmth, urging him to rip the clothes off of her and expose her to his gaze. Only a thin thread of self-control remained, when she melted against him, her head leaning into his shoulder.
The fresh scent of her hair tested his restraint and all he could do was hold her tight, pressing little kisses onto her head.
“Woman, you better take a step back or I can’t be held responsible for my actions,” he groaned.
Agnieska jumped out of his arms. “Are you serious?”
He opened his mouth to chuckle, but the terror in her eyes kept him from doing so. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, if I frightened you. I desire you so much; more than I thought was humanly possible. But while I certainly am dying to make love to you, I’d never do anything you don’t want to.”
She nodded, somehow reassured.
“Do you trust me?” he asked, suddenly afraid she might run away.
She nodded again.
“I need you to say it, Agnieska. Say the words. Tell me that you trust me never to take anything you aren’t willingly giving me.”
Finally she smiled. “I trust you, Stan. I trust that you won’t do anything I’m not on board with.”
“Goodness. Woman. You’re slaying me here,” he said. As much as he want
ed to keep holding her, kissing her, making love to her, there were more pressing issues at the moment. “Let’s have a look at the roof before we eat breakfast,” he said.
Together, they climbed the stairs. To the left side was the master bedroom that had belonged to his grandparents and then to his parents. They ventured inside and saw that the roof was finished, except for a few small details.
“That looks quite good,” Agnieska said.
“Yes, let’s have a look at the rooms on the other side.” On the right side of the stairs were two smaller rooms. He opened the door to the first room and gaped up into an open hole. His jaw tightened as he took stock of the situation. As far as he could see about half of the roof on this side of the house was completed.
“Well, that doesn’t look quite as good,” Agnieska murmured, looking up at the unfinished roof.
“It sure doesn’t,” he said. For a moment he wished Amos had stayed longer. “We can’t leave it like it is. Not with winter just a few months away.”
“We’ll find someone else to help us.” She leaned against him, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. “Amos did all the heavy work with the supporting beams, it’s just putting the roofing tiles in place. Anyone can do that part.”
“Not me.” His entire body tensed at the reminder of his disability and he involuntarily squeezed her tighter, afraid she might finally comprehend what he’d known all along: that he wasn’t good enough for her.
“Me, neither,” she said, turning around in his arms and locking eyes with him.
“You’re not a man.”
“What makes you think that every man has to be able to fix a roof?” she said, her eyes taking on a challenging glint.
Of course she was right. But he wanted to be able to do it. Worse yet, he’d been perfectly capable only a year prior.
“I like you just the way you are,” she said in a soft voice, taking away all his sorrows and his feelings of inadequacy.
Only Love Heals A Heart: Steamy Historical Romance Page 8