by Zach Jenkins
As he passed the man Levi had introduced as his brother, he nodded at—shit, why can’t I remember his name? He’d missed meeting the brother the other day because the flight had arrived earlier than expected. The guy certainly didn’t fall far from the family tree. Tall and huge like Levi, Inigo had no trouble imagining him fighting fires in the military.
That was all Inigo had taken the time to learn when they met a few minutes earlier before he forced the team to start practice. He was sure his name had been mentioned, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember it.
“Rough practice?” Levi’s brother asked.
“Yeah. The less we skate, the harder the practice is some nights.”
“Ah, team strife. Gotcha. How’d you talk Levi into skating for the team?”
“He volunteered,” Inigo said, risking a glance back at the team, and seeing Levi staring at him with a frown on his face.
I’ve got a lot of apologizing to do later.
“Wow. Things must be pretty serious between you two,” Levi’s brother said.
“They were before I…well, before practice.”
The other man laughed. It was a full-bodied confident laugh that forced Inigo to smile, too. “Never mix sports and love.”
“Too late for that, I suppose. We skate this weekend and this is our last practice. So we’ll have to ride with the guys we’ve got, and hope we don’t all kill each other.”
“This weekend?”
Inigo nodded. “Hey, I’m going to get a drink and head back to see what I can salvage out of this practice.”
“Dumbass!” Levi’s brother yelled.
It took Inigo a second to realize he wasn’t the one getting yelled at.
“I’m going to take your place on the team.” Looking back at Inigo, he quickly added, “If that’s okay with you.”
Inigo shrugged. “It really can’t get any worse at this point. You can’t be worse than Levi, but I guess it might keep him from killing me. Sure.”
“Sir, you better watch your words,” Levi’s brother said with a warm smile. He pushed himself off the wall and easily turned to skate backward, waving for Inigo to follow him back to the team huddle. “I grew up skating back in high school. It was a great way to get laid.”
In the distance, Ezra and Maxwell gave Levi a gentle shove to send him stumbling toward the wall. Inigo skated over to him and grabbed his arm to brace him.
“Thanks,” Levi said.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I’m an idiot.”
“It’s okay, and I know.” Levi leaned down to kiss Inigo. The move made them both lose their balance and Levi pulled Inigo down to the ground. “I hate skating.” He finished his kiss. “Have fun. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this in the first place. I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines.”
“Thanks.” Inigo helped Levi to his feet and watched him shuffle for a couple steps to make sure he was going to make it to the side before turning back to his team.
When he arrived, some of the guys were just finishing introductions for the others who’d arrived later. Inigo cursed at missing out on Levi's brother's name again. It was quickly becoming too late to ask without being painfully embarrassing. He’d just have to try to pick it up from one of the other guys during practice.
“Okay, so it appears we have another real skater on the team,” Inigo said as the guys made a circle around him. “Here’s what I was thinking.”
He told them his plans.
He focused on the derby and didn’t let himself worry that he’d gone too far with Levi. Sure, Levi had a smile on his face now, but he would always remember how big of a dick Inigo had been to him. Between that and the mounting bills, he wondered how long until life forced him to Washington.
27
Levi
Levi aimed the firehose at a smoldering pile of wood. Everyone had managed to get outside of the bowling alley safely and all that was left was some finishing touches to get the last of the fire out. In the eerie silence, Levi’s imagination got the best of him. It was too easy to see the old aging bowling alley and project Inigo’s problems onto it.
Were sales down? Was the owner looking to retire and move to Florida? Had the community abandoned the establishment for the fancier, modern bowling alleys with their glow lights and bumpers in the gutters? Had everyone abandoned bowling entirely so they could sit around and watch their big screen TVs in the comfort of their own living rooms?
Did the owner set the fire on purpose?
It was way too early to officially declare that the building had been burned down to collect insurance money, but it was the perfect time for Levi to let the uncertainties of his own relationship get pushed to the limit.
He worked silently, breaking down his equipment and starting to load it back on the fire engine. He wished he would have never volunteered for Inigo’s derby team, but the damage had already been done. He understood why Inigo took the team so seriously, but he still did not appreciate being picked on just because he couldn’t skate. Levi had only been trying to help and it scared him how easily Inigo pushed that help away when it didn’t work out as well as he’d hoped.
Will he push me away when I don’t work out as well as he hopes?
“Thank God the fire happened when there was hardly anybody inside. In another hour, a Special Olympics bowling team would’ve been practicing here. Could you even imagine?” Brick asked.
Levi just shook his head. He hoped that his friend would think he was just overwhelmed at the potential damage from the fire.
Brick wasn’t that stupid, though. “What’s the matter with you today? If you’re catching a cold again, you better take some time off and not get the rest of us sick.”
Levi wasn’t in the mood to talk, but not talking about it sounded horrible too. “I’m not sick. It’s not the fire, either. I had a bad night with Inigo during the derby practice yesterday.”
“I heard about that. Maxwell mentioned it when he got home. You want to talk about it?”
“Of course not,” Levi said. “Who ever wants to talk about a fight with their boyfriend?”
“Ezra always seems ready to.”
That made Levi laugh. “That poor Clay. Anyway, I’m sure it’s not a big deal. He just yelled at me because I wasn’t taking practice seriously enough. As the newbie on the team, I probably should’ve been a little more respectful.”
Brick shrugged. “Maybe. Maxwell seems to have sided with you, though.”
“I wish that made me feel better,” Levi said.
The two worked together loading the fire engine without any further conversation for a couple of minutes before Levi spoke up again. “You think this is an insurance fraud case?”
“That’s more David’s territory. Could be, though.”
“I wonder how many people actually do burn down their buildings just to get out of a struggling business?”
Brick did a double take before saying, “Is that what all your moping’s about? You’re worried that Inigo is going to burn down the roller rink and skip town without you?”
“Sounds stupid when you say it out loud, but the idea had crossed my mind. I guess what I worry about most is that he might need help sometime soon and I won’t be able to give him what he needs. Look what happened at practice yesterday.”
Brick finished putting away the last of their equipment and said, “You’ll do fine. You can’t compare something stupid like a little fight during practice to your real relationship. You just keep being supportive and doing your best to make him talk when you see him struggling, and the rest will take care of itself.”
“That’s what I tell myself every night, but what do I do when I’m the one struggling?”
“Then you tell Inigo and let him be supportive for a while. If that doesn’t work, you bitch and moan with friends over a couple pitchers of beer.”
“I don’t know, man.”
Brick spun to face Levi. “What’s this nonsense? Giving up?”
Levi took
a step backward to escape Brick’s sudden intensity. “What? No. Of course not.”
Brick closed the gap between them and poked a finger into Levi’s chest. Before Levi could protest, Brick said, “Inigo makes you happy. That’s clear to everyone. But you are going to screw this whole thing up if you are just sitting around passively waiting to get dumped. You need to let him know how you feel and how important he is to you.”
Levi’s eyes went wide at the outburst, but it didn’t take him any time to realize that Brick was right. He nodded in agreement.
“So what are you going to do about it?” Brick demanded.
“I’m going to…” Levi hesitated. What am I going to do? “I’m going to go to him. I’m going to tell him I want him to stay. That I want us to be together. Damn, man, you’re right. I’ll stop home to make sure my brother is okay with Dax. If Inigo isn’t still there, I’ll head straight over to his place and tell him if he’s going to move away, he’s gonna do it over my...well, protests, I guess.”
“There you go.”
Brick climbed up into the fire engine. Levi joined him.
“So what else is going on?” Brick said to break their awkward silence.
“Not much, man. You?”
Brick shrugged. “Nothing really.”
“Cool.”
He laughed at the sudden end to the pep talk, but was happy for a moment to gather his thoughts. It was so easy to forget that friends were always there to help. He was fortunate that he had such a strong group.
Still, some of his concerns lingered. It was great to know that they would be there to help him if things got rough with Inigo, but the reality was that they couldn’t do much more than try and make him feel better. If Inigo did wake up one day and decide to move to Washington, there was nothing Levi’s friends would be able to do about it.
Being excited about the future did not make that future come to pass.
In the end, he knew what he needed to do.
I will go over there to talk to him about the future of our relationship.
28
Inigo
The screaming from dozens of kids overwhelmed Inigo. It was bad enough when it happened during a birthday party at his rink. At least he got paid for surviving those days. He had never noticed malls being quite so loud. He couldn’t actually remember the last time he had been to the Fox Valley Mall, or any mall, really. It had seemed like a good place to spend a couple of hours and let Daxter burn off some energy. He had even imagined spending some time reading a book while Daxter played in the indoor play area.
That had not worked out since the mall did not have a bookstore anymore.
That’s what’s wrong with this country, he pondered before realizing how old that made him sound. Instead, while they walked to the play area, he downloaded the Kindle app he’d heard some friends talk about to his phone and found a book to try.
Damn, I didn’t know there were so many steamy gay romances.
He checked to make sure Daxter was okay playing and that there really was just the one place he could leave the little playground before he leaned against the short wall and yawned.
Two toddlers ran into each other a few feet from Inigo. They both fell on their butts and started screaming, tears streaming down their faces. Their moms hurried over to comfort the kids and apologize to each other. A couple minutes later, they were swapping phone numbers and scheduling a playdate.
Inigo felt very out of place. “Hey, Daxter. How about we go get a cookie?”
Daxter vehemently shook his head and ran off to play with a group of kids his own age.
With a sigh, Inigo let him go. It was probably good for him to socialize. Or was that puppies?
He pulled his phone from his pocket and started reading the book by a guy called E. Davies that he’d bought, and was quickly swept away by the story. He looked up each time he turned the page and spotted Daxter before reading the next. When he accidentally found the settings for changing the font, he made it as small as possible and the margins as narrow as possible to cram more words on the screen at one time.
He had just finished reading a sex scene and shoved the phone in his back pocket to give him a second to regain his composure. He definitely planned on making Levi read some of the scenes out loud and reenact them when they had some time alone.
He scanned the area for Daxter.
He wasn’t there.
He’s gotta be here.
Inigo walked in a circle around the perimeter of the play area, peeking into every nook and cranny.
No Daxter.
While he did a second loop, his panic flared. He should not have let himself get distracted.
What was I thinking reading that book? Damnit, E. Davies!
“Did you see Daxter?” he asked a circle of mothers.
They all instinctively searched the play area for their own kids while asking what Daxter looked like.
“About this tall.” He held his hand at his waist and wondered if that was close enough.
“What’s he wearing?” a mom asked while breastfeeding her baby.
“Umm. Jeans and…crap, I don’t know what color his shirt was. He’s not my kid. He’s my boyfriend’s. I should have taken his picture when we got here. Damnit.”
“Relax,” a woman with gray hair said. “My granddaughter likes to hide inside the log. Did you check there?” Rather than waiting for a reply, she walked over and checked it herself.
While she was looking, another mom rounded up her kids like baby ducks and asked, “What’s his name?”
“Daxter.”
“Daxter! Where are you, Daxter?” she screamed, shocking Inigo so much he flinched back a step.
“You should go to security and have him paged,” a third mom said.
Inigo wasn’t sure who was talking anymore. The mall was spinning and his ears were buzzing. Something had happened to Daxter and it was all his fault.
A hand grabbed his and dragged him forward.
“I can’t go anywhere. What if he comes back?”
“Sheila will keep her eye out and keep any kids here if they are alone. Sheila.” She yelled to the breastfeeding mother “Ask every kid, even if some mom shows up with a dozen kids with her in case his boy followed some group back.”
The woman nodded.
“Come on, dear,” the grandmother said, pulling his hand again. “We’ll find him. He’ll be fine.”
The mall passed in a blur. Inigo’s eyes refused to focus on anything.
“Shit, shit, shit,” he mumbled under his breath.
“I know it’s stressful, but you need to relax. For Daxter. Did you stop at any stores before you got to the play area? Did something catch his eye?”
“We tried to stop at the bookstore, but they don’t have those anymore. So we came straight here. I was just trying to get him out of the house, but I lost him. Levi will kill me. Shit, I won’t give him the chance. I’ll do it myself. What kind of guy loses a kid at the—”
The slap across his cheek snapped him to his senses.
“Sorry about that, but you…well, you needed it.”
Inigo rubbed his cheek that was already growing warm. “Thanks. Shit. This is a disaster. What do I do?”
“Keep your eyes open. He’s probably just wandered off to some store with toys in it. I had a grandkid that disappeared once when I brought him here. I found him in a shoe store playing with one of those big bead maze toys. I about had a heart attack. We’ll find your boy.”
He heard a laugh up ahead. Daxter’s laugh.
He sprinted toward the sound, but it was gone before he could locate the source.
Fuck.
He spun in place, desperate for any sign.
He noticed the Disney Store on his left, and hurried inside. He ran in circles around each rack, but still didn’t see Daxter.
He was marching back to the front of the store, when the grandmother smiled warmly and pointed behind him. “Is that your boy?”
Inigo didn’t see him at first. Daxter had climbed in with the stuffed animals back by the big television screen and was watching Donald Duck yelling at Mickey Mouse. Daxter laughed again and almost fell over.
Inigo rushed forward and swept him up into his arms.
He wanted to yell at Daxter for scaring him so badly, but he couldn’t even scold him when he looked down into his happy face. Daxter didn’t know any better, and as terrified as Inigo had been, he knew he would overreact if he tried to teach him a lesson in the heat of the moment.
Inigo’s hands were shaking. All he could think about was how close he had come to something terrible happening to Daxter because of his neglect.
I’m not fit for any of this.
“Come on, Daxter. I think it’s time to go back to your house.”
Daxter groaned and squirmed in his arms, but Inigo was not going to let him go again until he’d returned him safely to his home.
As he passed the grandma, she grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Kids escape the best of us. They’re trickier to hold on to than greased pigs. I can see it in your face. It’s okay to be spooked, but it doesn’t make you a bad dad.”
The words that came out of his mouth sounded distant, like another horrible man was saying them. “I’m not even a dad. I’m just the boyfriend.”
Without another glance back, Inigo carried Daxter through the mall. He didn’t set him down until he was depositing him in the back seat of the car.
“Can we play soccer when we get home?” Daxter asked as if nothing had happened.
“We’ll see.”
Inigo hoped that Levi’s brother was at the house, and if not, that Levi had come home sick. Inigo didn’t trust himself with the responsibility of taking care of him anymore. Daxter needed a responsible adult.
And I need a drink.
Levi’s brother was there when they reached the house. Inigo gave a quick rundown of what had happened, and then left before he had to talk about the disaster any further. When he started his car, he realized that he’d let another chance pass to ask the brother his name again.