Keeping a Cowboy [Recovery 2] (Siren Publishing Classic ManLove)

by Sunny Day

  “Ah, no thanks. Think I’ll stay in tonight.”

  “Geez, Leslie. I didn’t mean let’s get drunk and into a fight.” Zack sounded offended. Leslie gave his friend a thoughtful look. Truth to be told he wasn’t expecting that from Zack. His friend was never much into drinking and long nights with friends. Then again, he lived for the rodeo. He didn’t want to risk getting hurt and having to stop competing. Both of them tended to leave early, which is why they usually ended up sharing a room.

  He also never pressured Leslie to tell him more than he wanted to. Leslie was grateful for that. He never got into the habit of talking about himself, and there were too many things he couldn’t talk about. Zack, who could easily blend in with the crowd and laugh and tease with them, seemed to sense this instinctively. Zack’s cheerful personality helped Leslie overcome his depression after his breakup. He competed in the rodeo. He couldn’t afford not to be focused on what he was doing.

  “What did you have in mind?”

  Zack shrugged.

  “Just go out.” He looked at Leslie from the corner of his eye. “Maybe meet some nice girl. The town certainly seems nice.”

  Leslie tensed. He wondered how to get out of this. Zack studied him carefully. For a wild moment, Leslie wondered whether he’d slipped and Zack figured him out. He forced himself to calm. Relax. He’s just asking.

  “I don’t think so.”

  Zack sighed, running a hand through his still-damp hair. “Look, I know you said you had a bad breakup before you left home. I’m not asking you to marry the girl. Just, get out. Have some fun. It’ll feel good.”

  Bad breakup. It wasn’t a bad breakup. He and Ash didn’t argue or anything. But when you were with someone since you were seventeen, it tended to hurt when you suddenly weren’t.

  He was aware of Zack’s earnest look.

  “Okay,” he said. “We’ll go out together.” Zack made a whooping sound.

  “Great. You need to relax a little, Leslie.”

  Shaking his head at his friend’s enthusiasm, Leslie turned back to his bed. He could have some fun. The evening didn’t have to end in sex for him to enjoy it. Not that he was discounting the possibility of sex. He would just have to be extra careful. He heard a sharp knock at the door. Whoever it was, they obviously weren’t the patient kind.

  “Who’s that?” Zack sounded disgruntled. Leslie didn’t bother moving. He knew if there were some of their friends from the rodeo Zack would be able to talk them out of whatever harebrained scheme they hatched. Or at least talk them out of pressuring Leslie and him into participating.

  “Leslie?”

  He turned at the sound of Zack’s voice. His heart almost stopped.

  Ash stood at the door, the rim of his Stetson hiding his face.

  “Ash?” he said in disbelief.

  “Can I talk with you, Leslie?”

  The timbre of his voice caused Leslie to shiver. He couldn’t answer right away.

  “Do you want to talk to him, Leslie?” Zack must have read something in his face. He gave Ash a suspicious look. His fingers tightened on the door handle.

  “Yes,” Leslie said. He cleared his throat. “Yes, it’s okay.”

  Zack didn’t look convinced. He hesitated before leaving. “Okay. I’ll be downstairs. Call me if you need me.”

  “A bit protective of you, isn’t he?” Ash asked in a bland tone. He hadn’t moved closer to Leslie. Leslie’s heart was beating unsteadily. A lump formed in his throat. His hungry gaze drank in every nuance of Ash’s appearance.

  “He is a friend,” he said defensively. He hesitated. Ash didn’t deserve an explanation, but he owed it to Zack. “A good friend.”

  The last time Ash had seen him, Leslie was half-drunk and wrapped around someone else. To this day, he couldn’t figure out what Ash was doing in that particular bar. He’d given a Leslie hurt look. Leslie, mouth busy on another man’s neck, just ignored him, following his date outside. He’d woken with a bitter taste of regret in his mouth and wondering if Ash left the place alone. He refused to feel guilty. It had taken him some time to start seeing other men after he and Ash parted ways. Mostly it wasn’t anything serious, a grope in the dark, a forbidden kiss sometimes. He was depressed to find out that none of them measured up to Ash. He was still the one he wanted. Leslie swallowed heavily.

  “What are you doing here, Ash?”

  “I came for you.” There was raw honesty in Ash’s voice, so much so that Leslie was taken aback. For a moment he thought his mind was playing tricks on him.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Come back with me.” Ash’s hands clenched into fists, a clear sign of his inner turmoil, but he didn’t move closer. Dark-blue eyes focused on Leslie, giving him a wounded, pleading look.

  Leslie had to sit, his knees threatening to give out. “Come back where?” Wild hope surged inside him. He couldn’t afford misunderstandings, not even for a moment, no matter how good it felt right now. It was just going to hurt worse when he crashed.

  “Home. Home with me.” Ash searched his face. He swallowed heavily. “Please.” The last word was almost a whisper, but Ash screwed his eyes shut and repeated it, louder this time. “Please.”

  “You are asking me—”Leslie had to pause and for a moment, the only sound in the room was their harsh breathing. He couldn’t say what he was feeling, his emotions mixed and scrambled up. Anger. Hope. Fear. Desperate relief. God, he’d wanted this so much. Wanted it from the day Ash left. He’d have begged Ash to reconsider if he suspected Ash would change his mind. Beg. He wasn’t ashamed of that.

  “You were the one who left me.” His voice was steady, not giving away any of his thoughts.

  Ash took his hat off, ran a hand through his hair. His mouth tightened. “I made a mistake.”

  “You didn’t think so then,” Leslie accused.

  “No.”

  “What changed?”

  “Nothing, really.” Ash shook his head. “Just…I want you back, Leslie. Do I have to have a reason?”

  “You were miserable without me?” Leslie offered, narrowing his eyes at him.

  “You have to hear it?”

  “Yes. Can you say it?”

  “I was miserable without you. Please, come back with me.”

  That was the third “please.” He knew how much it cost Ash to say it, to repeat it without Leslie giving him a hint how he was going to receive it.

  “You said nothing changed. But you changed your opinion? And what, I’m supposed to jump up at your sign and leave everything?”

  He heard Ash take a deep breath and come to sit next to him. Leslie refused to move. Ash’s thigh brushed his, warmth spreading through Leslie. He resisted the urge to reach and touch him, reassure himself that Ash was there.

  “You don’t like the rodeo, Leslie. I still remember you telling me it sounds like a great way to land in the hospital.”

  Asher was back to his old self, evasive. Leslie didn’t disagree with him. They’d had this argument before. His uncle was raising bulls for the rodeo, and that was how Leslie got involved in it. One of his business partners dared Leslie to try and compete in a small rodeo in his hometown. Leslie’d taken the bait. He’d won decent money. It was the first time he realized he could earn that much more. The dream he had, of one day owning his own place, suddenly didn’t seem so hopeless. Excited, he shared his idea with Ash. They had a terrible fight that evening, Ash calling him reckless and stupid. Leslie had been too stunned to react immediately. Ash had glared at him and stormed off. He was calmer the next time they talked, and Ash confessed he didn’t like the idea of Leslie risking himself that way. He’d obviously rehearsed this speech, which was probably the only reason he didn’t say “I’ll buy it for you,” for which Leslie was grateful. He repeated what he said to Ash that evening, in an equally calm tone of voice.

  “I have done things I like even less, Ash. Besides, you know my reasons.”

  From the corner of his eye, he saw Ash bit his li
p. Then he raised his head to look at Leslie.

  “Your uncle is in the hospital,” Ash said suddenly.

  Leslie hadn’t expected him to say something like that. He couldn’t figure what that had to do with the two of them. It wasn’t like his uncle ever commented on his relationship with Ash, or frankly, that Leslie cared about his opinion.

  “I know. Rich called me. He had a stroke, but he’ll recover.”

  Ash fidgeted.

  “Sort of. Rich is taking him to Chicago with him, I think he is going to put him in a home.”

  Leslie shrugged, still baffled. “So?”

  “Midnight Stars is for sale.”

  Leslie froze. “It is?” The words slipped out of his mouth against his will. He caught a flash in Ash’s eyes, and recognized it for what it was. Ash had hit on his weakness.

  Nothing was obvious in his voice when he said,

  “I’m surprised Rich hasn’t mentioned it to you. You know he doesn’t want the place.”

  No. His cousin had gone on to law school, then gotten a job in a prestigious firm in Chicago. Leslie and he still talked occasionally, but they never were that close.

  “Well, yeah. But Uncle won’t let him sell the ranch. It’s his home.”

  “He won’t have a choice, Leslie. He is sick. Has been for some time. He can’t go back to it.” Leslie could sympathize with the old man. He’d loved Midnight Stars, too, and it wasn’t even his.

  “That’s what you wanted, a place of your own?” Ash prodded.

  Leslie took a deep breath. Yes, that was what he wanted, a place that was exclusively his, where he wouldn’t be only on sufferance, where he could relax. He hadn’t had a bad childhood. He knew if his uncle hadn’t taken him, he could have ended up worse off. But the old guy didn’t like him, not like he liked Rich, and Leslie always felt like he wasn’t welcome.

  “I don’t know if I have enough money for that,” he admitted finally. He wanted Midnight Stars. He knew he was still off balance, in shock caused by Ash’s reappearance. He shouldn’t be making important decisions right now. But he knew and loved Midnight Stars. He never dared to hope it would be his. Now when he’d been offered a chance, he couldn’t breathe.

  Ash shrugged. “You know that isn’t the problem. Rich will give it to you, regardless of the money, Leslie. Besides, I know you have a pretty decent sum.”

  Leslie threw him a sharp glance. He knew, did he?

  “Why do you want me back, Ash?”

  Yes, he wanted Midnight Stars. But there were other places, other options, and living so close to Ash when he couldn’t have him would absolutely kill him. During their time apart, when there was no chance of meeting Ash or even hearing his name he’d always felt an insistent ache, mixed with painful longing. He’d managed to function by pushing it back to the edge of his consciousness. It wasn’t going to work if they lived close by.

  “I miss you.” Ash looked at the floor. Neither of them was much for talking about their feelings. They could read each other pretty well. This time, Leslie had too much at stake to risk it.

  “Your friend or your lover?”

  Ash sighed. “Both.” He hesitated before saying. “Do you…I mean, do you still feel the same?”

  Leslie closed his eyes. He reached for Ash, let his head rest on the other man’s shoulder. He felt Ash’s arm wrap around his, hesitantly at first, then strengthening the grip. He’d tried to resist it, but he had known from the beginning, from the moment Ash stepped into the room, that he would go with him.

  He had known that from the time they were seventeen and he saw Ash for the first time.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Zack asked. His tone was dubious. Leslie had to give him credit. Considering what he’d just told him, Zack’s reaction was pretty mild.

  Leslie sighed. He tried and discarded a couple explanations in his head. Zack deserved the truth, or at least as much truth as he dared to say it. “My uncle is in hospital, Zack.”

  “So what? You said the old guy never liked you anyway. Has he asked for you?”

  “No. And that’s not what this is about. My cousin is selling his place. You know I don’t like the rodeo, Zack. It wasn’t what I wanted. I know you didn’t want to stay on your folks’ place, that you felt trapped, but I’m not like that.”

  Zack raised both hands.

  “Hey, I get that,” he interrupted. “Honestly I do. I know how it is when you want something so much nothing else matters.” Zack paused. “It’s just that I don’t like this guy.”

  “Ash?”

  He was mildly surprised. Zack got along with everyone. He decided he didn’t like Ash based on one encounter?

  “He doesn’t like me, either,” Zack clarified, noting Leslie’s expression.

  “Ash is…like that,” Leslie said vaguely. He didn’t want Zack worried. Zack snorted.

  “You should have seen his face when he opened the door, Leslie. Like he caught me sleeping with his wife,” Zack continued. Leslie froze. How much had Zack figured out?

  Zack leaned to rest his head on his arms, staring earnestly at Leslie. He was sitting on his bed, opposite Leslie. “What about the girl, Leslie? The one you were in love with, Ashley or something? She is back home. You sure you want to go back, where she is? That will be awkward, maybe even painful. You still aren’t completely over her.”

  Leslie had to look away. He’d told that to Zack after one especially harrowing day. He’d ended up in the hospital with a concussion. Zack had taken him home and spent the night with him, keeping him awake. Leslie was loopy and confused, which was why he ended up telling Zack about Ash. He was lucky Zack had assumed Ash was a nickname for a girl.

  “That…won’t be a problem.”

  Zack scrutinized him before sighing. “If you say so.” He smiled, his face suddenly transforming. He stood up and slapped Leslie’s shoulder. “I wish you luck anyway, man. I know this is what you wanted.”

  “Yeah.”

  Leslie still didn’t get it. He was getting both Ash and Midnight Stars. He’d never—maybe in his wildest dreams—dared to hope it’d be like that.

  “I’ll miss you, Zack. Don’t get killed.”

  Zack laughed. “No chance of that. I have my own dreams to follow. Keep in touch, will you?”

  Getting home with a Foster meant traveling in the way Fosters were accustomed to.

  Luxuriously. Ash waited for him in front of his hotel, leaning casually on the shiny black vehicle. Leslie caught more than one person giving the handsome man a second glance. A lump formed in his throat. This was his. Hefting his duffel over his shoulder, he stepped closer. Ash’s blue eyes focused on him, traveling slowly over his body. Leslie felt heat climbing over him in the wake of Ash’s gaze. It was positively indecent the way Ash was practically ogling him. On the other hand, between the early morning and Ash’s hat shadowing his face, no one would see anything. He shivered, brushing his arm over Ash’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”

  It was ridiculously easy to prepare for a trip. He’d been on the go for more than four years. As the truck slowly propelled down the highway and out of town, Ash tossed his cell phone in his lap. “Here. You can call Rich.”

  Leslie gave him a surprised look. “What, you mean, now?”

  Ash kept his eyes on the road. “Why not?”

  Leslie did so. Rich of course had no problems with him taking over Midnight Stars. He promised to drop all the papers in town. Leslie would transfer the money then. He closed the phone and leaned back into his seat.

  Midnight Stars was now, for all purposes, his. He closed his eyes, unable to believe it. Ash glanced at him more than once, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he switched the radio on and kept driving.

  Leslie was grateful for Ash’s silence. He’d roused only when, late into the night, Ash stopped.

  He rubbed his bleary eyes. He usually didn’t have a problem with traveling long distances. Now though, he was exhausted.

  “We’ll spend the night
here,” Ash explained. “Tomorrow we’ll be home.”

  Following Ash out of the car, Leslie glanced at the building in front of them. He snorted. No cheap motels on the road for Ash. He obediently walked behind Ash into the lushly appointed lobby. He glanced around surreptitiously. They obviously knew Ash here, since the pretty girl with shiny hair called him Mr. Foster. Leslie waited patiently.

  “Thank you, Mr. Foster. Enjoy your stay.” The girl handed Ash his key. She was smiling brightly at him. Her fingers lingered just a second too long on his palm. Ash returned the smile. Leslie knew him well enough to realize there was no real warmth in it. Still, it bothered him to see someone flirting with Ash. He moved toward Ash until their bodies touched. He noted with satisfaction the way Ash’s body tensed. They had spent the whole day in the car together. The sexual tension between them was reaching new heights.

  “Come on,” Leslie whispered in his ear impatiently.

  “You’ll have to forgive my companion. He was in the car the whole day,” Ash said to the girl, flashing her another smile. Leslie narrowed his eyes at him.

  “I don’t need you apologizing for me,” he said when they were in the elevator.

  “Of course not. She was just nice.”

  Leslie glanced at the numbers going up. Gauging they had enough time, he grabbed Ash’s shoulder and pushed him against the wall. He wedged his knee between Ash’s thighs. “Normally,” he said, his hot breath teasing Ash’s skin. “I wouldn’t have problem with you flirting with someone. I never had that problem. However”—he licked his lips deliberately, noting the way Ash’s breath caught—“this time it stopped us from going in the room. I waited the whole night and day to get my hands on you again.”

  Not to mention the four fucking years.

  The elevator bell dinged. Leslie stepped back in time for anyone coming down the hall not to see the two of them closer than they ought to be.

  “Which room is it?”

  Ash’s cheeks were flushed, and he hesitated before answering.

  “412,” he said. He pushed himself off the wall and headed down the hallway. “Come on,” he ordered, without turning to check if Leslie was following him. He didn’t need to. Leslie’s gaze slid and stopped at Ash’s ass. His fingers tightened on the cinch of his bag. He glanced up to met Ash’s heated look as they stopped in front of a door. Ash swiped the card, letting Leslie inside.