by Amy Brent
“I’m going to have to body search you. Are you sure that you want to go in?”
“Why do you ask that?”
“Well, you’ve been standing there for the last five minutes with the pen in your hand, debating about signing in.”
Oh, I look down and see that he’s right. My hands shaking and the guard who clearly loved pumping a bit too many weights was right. I didn't want to know what dad had to say, but I knew with him facing the chance of either being locked away for a long time or the death penalty that I had no choice.
“Sure. Sorry, there’s a line.”
He rose an eyebrow and said, “Not really.”
Fuck, I felt rough. Not only was I unshaven, which was something I never did, but my heart was racing out of control. I wasn’t a fucking chicken. I faced all my issues, head on and I never looked back, but now I was feeling like the same coward who didn’t see mom on her last few days on Earth. Who fucking thought that his dad was beating his mom when he was younger and once again turned a blind eye to it. Shit, there were so many things that I should have done and I never did.
“Here goes nothing,” I say as I straighten my fingers and fucking sign. I empty my pockets and hand them over with all the confidence in the world.
But as soon as I start walking through the security gates and then after a couple of buzzes we’re in the same room. Dad and I are facing each other once again. Just as we had done before I found out his true nature.
“Son,” he clears his throat. “You came.”
I nod, thinking that I could say something in return, but there’s nothing to say. He said the obvious which means that he’s as nervous as I am right now. But, most likely for different reasons. He’s nervous about me being here. I’m just worried about what he has to say.
“Dad.”
I nod as I find it hard to speak. I decide that the quicker and sooner I get this over with the better. There’s no point beating around the bush. I’m not going to make out that I’m supporting him and I’m going to be here for him. If he manages to wiggle his way out of this one.
“Seems like they really got me this time,” he sighs and I wonder if he’s delusional about what’s going to happen this time.
“Dad they’ve got you on six murders and an attempted murder.”
He coughs, “Six?”
“You would have thought that after one, you would have stopped.”
He laughs, “Well, let’s hope that they don’t dig too deep.’
Fuck!
What the hell does that mean?
I don’t even want to fucking know. Everything about this conversation is proving the part that I was scared about. He’s more worried about being caught then about being sorry for what he’s accused of doing.
“Dad, if they don’t kill you, they can lock you up and throw away the key.”
He shakes his head, “If you thought that then you wouldn’t be here. You would come if they’d sentenced me and buy time. The same way you did when your mom was dying. Remember?”
He’s not passing this on to me making out that this is my fault something. Nothing to do with me.
“You killed women. Don’t you feel sorry?”
He chuckles, “Women that sell their virginities for money.”
I watch him laugh and think about the arrogance that I’d displayed when he told me about it. Those were my same thoughts about them. But it didn’t mean that they deserved death. What about the men that paid? The members who wanted to pay millions per year to be on the winning side. Thinking that they could farm women, and then it dawns on me why he’s laughing and the reason for the whole house.
“You think that because you’re powerful that you can do whatever you want to do.”
He nods his head, “At times son, you’re a bit slow. But you’ll learn one day. Just remember to make sure that you don’t run the business down into the ground before I get out of here.”
“Out?”
He means in the electric chair in another life?
“Do you really think that I’m going to stay locked up in here?”
I whisper as I realize what he’d told me and the part that I seem to forget in our conversation.
“Son, money buys everything in this life. You can get caught. You can get questioned, you can even fucking confess. But there’s one thing that’ll never happen.”
I hate to ask the question. I look around the room wondering if this is being recorded. My dad, the man that I used to envy as a kid as being a business tycoon and hated as I grew older because I saw the way that he manipulated and treated everyone as if they were beneath him.
Including mom.
“Do you think that your mom stayed out of loyalty?”
“No.”
I knew the truth about her a long time ago. The time that I asked her to leave. I even told her that I wouldn’t care if we lived in a shelter as long as she was free from his hands and her response was, ‘Do you want me to live in poverty?’
And I knew that dad’s words were true. Money made people blind to what was right and wrong. That’s why the girls sold their virginities. Because the rich and powerful could do anything they like. Anything could be bought at the right price.
He was talking to me, but I didn’t want to listen. He just re-woke something in me, that I had swept under the carpet a long time ago. I’d lived with the idea, that my mom had stayed a victim at his hand and he’d told me what she had done a long time ago.
Living with money was a lot better than living without it.
Because, without it, they were merely a servant of their own existence.
“For the next visit, you’ll have to book in.”
I look at the prison guard and whisper, “I’m not coming back.”
He nods and then says, “It’s hard for some people seeing their loved ones in here.”
I want to tell him the truth, that he’s far from a loved one, and that’s not the reason I’m not coming back. I’m not coming back because as dad rightly said. Soon he won’t even be in there. This whole case will be dismissed because of one reason or another and then he’ll be out and the worse thing is he fucking didn’t deserve it and I was going to make sure of that if that was the last thing I did.
Chapter 26: Lily
The last few days, I’ve been slowly regaining consciousness, and I’m able to sit up and eat by myself. The things that I used to take for granted have become a blessing in disguise, being able to do them again. I haven’t seen Blake.
Part of me feels relieved for not seeing him again, but I can’t get out of my mind his voice. The one that was screaming from the other side of the door. He came back to my apartment; I wonder if he knew what was going to happen?
Did he have something to do with his dad coming to my place to try and kill me?
Or did he try and stop him from going ahead with it?
Whenever I thought about what could have happened it just hurts my head.
“Hey, you,” Olivia says as soon as she enters the room.
“Hey,” I whisper as I try and regain my voice.
“Damn, you sound like someone who’s smoked one too many joints.”
“Thanks.”
“You still feeling weak?”
“No, just my voice.”
She hands me a box of chocolate, my favorite. These hospital meals remind me a bit of my time in the house. The one part of my life that I’ll happily erase in a heartbeat as I try to avoid thinking about Blake.
“So, he’s not here then?”
I want to ask who, ‘he is?’ but I have a feeling that she’s referring to Blake and not Gary.
“Gary’s not here.”
She nudges me, “You know that I didn’t mean Gary. He’s sleeping at mine.”
“Really?”
She nods, “Yes, really in your bed.”
I thought maybe they'd decided to stop pretending that they're not into each other.
“Err, he’s cute and all, but
Gary and I are like sister and brother.”
I raise an eyebrow, “If you say so.”
She nods, “I know so. Don’t avoid the question. Blake’s been here looking after you as a male version of Florence Nightingale.”
“I haven’t seen him. If it weren't for him, I would be dead. He sent his dad to kill me.”
“Lily Sinclaire if you believed that then why is it, that since I’ve been here, you keep looking at the door.”
I shrug, “I don’t.”
She laughs, “You do too.”
“I’m just looking out for Gary.”
“I told you that he’s sleeping so why would you be looking out for him. That means you’re looking out for Blake. Damn, the man’s rich. Powerful and ever so sexy. You couldn’t have knocked your head that hard. I don’t even want to know what he’s like between the sheets.”
I can feel my face turning red and I think that in that single motion, I’ve already answered her question.
“Holy shit! Just tell me this, did you multi-orgasm?”
I laugh, “Multi, multi and multi orgasm!”
“Oh my God. Well, as soon as he comes here, then I’ll get out of your way. I wouldn’t want to cramp your style.”
I laugh and say, “Comes!”
I leave out some of the details, I even tell her about the dinner that we had on the rooftop. The little things that he’d done to make me feel special. Then he took it all away, by leaving the money on top of the bed.
“Well, it sounds like he regretted his actions.”
“Oh, because you guys are best friends?”
“No, because if it weren't for him the police wouldn’t have come and you would be dead or even worse.”
I stop and think about it. Did Blake go up against his dad for me?
“Gary would be rotting in a jail cell or even in the electric chair. You know that it’s still legal in this state for capital punishment, right?”
I nod.
“But he left the money by the side of the bed as if I was a cheap whore. He didn’t even say goodbye. I gave him so many opportunities to try and talk to me. To tell me how he felt, but he never did. If his dad didn’t commit the murders, then who knows what would be happening now. Would he be coming here?”
“No, because you wouldn’t be in the hospital,” she sighs trying to be the voice of reason. “I’m not saying that the man’s perfect, but it sounds like he’s been through some shit. Some big shit for you. I just think that you should give him a chance to explain it all. He brought me here the first night. Stayed until the doctor said that you’ve recovered. He left, but he's always on the phone asking how you’re doing all the time.”
“He took your number?”
She nods because I don’t even have it.
“Do you want to speak to him? Should I call him for you?”
“No,” I whisper as I start to digest everything that she’s saying about Blake. Maybe he had a change of heart, about us?
I would be dead, and Gary would be in a rotting jail cell if it weren't for Blake. I just wish that he’ll come and talk to me. So, that I could hear it from him. Instead of my bestie, then I won’t think of him as my worst enemy. Right now, he must be hurting, and I have a feeling that the only thing that he’ll want to do right now is be alone, so I'll leave him for now.
Chapter 27: Blake
I received the strangest text from Olivia. I saw it yesterday, and I thought that it must be a joke. She’s the type. She’s bubbly and has far too much energy for her petite frame.
Olivia: Hi, Lily’s up and wants to speak to you. Go to the hospital when you have time. Olivia
I didn’t even reply, but it did bring a smile to my face knowing that Lily was well and asking for me. I felt like a lovesick teenager wanting to respond and ask her what Lily said about me. The idea that she was up and asking for me did give me the confidence to go and see her.
The only times I had done that was when she was sleeping. She looked so peaceful when she slept. I didn’t want to wake her.
My nights have been spent drinking too much and the days struggling to get over my hangover. My phone's constantly ringing with decisions that need to be made about the business. The board want me out, that's one thing I know for sure. I’ve never had a day off. Sick days are for wimps, but I wasn’t sick. I wasn’t even depressed; I found out that my dad’s a monster. My family's so fucked up and the darkness inside of me wonders if there's something wrong with me.
Shit, I need a therapist.
Someone to talk to reassure me that even though his blood runs through my veins. It doesn’t mean that we're one in the same. Lily wants to see me, that gave me hope. If anything, I should be the last person that she wants to see, knowing that my dad did that to her.
I take a deep breath as I hit the showers thinking that as soon as I get out. I’ll spend tomorrow going to see Lily and not nursing my headache. In the meantime, I’ll log on and face the music at work. A decision has to be made about what to do with the company right now.
Dad may think that he’s getting away with not only six murders but the toll count seems to increase nearly every day. It’s so fucking frightening. We were the most powerful and respected family in Huntersville. After the news got out about dad, we’re now the most hated. It’s clear that I can’t stay here. This is something that people don’t forget. Then again, why should they?
Their loved ones have been killed at the hands of my dad. He did it randomly and over so many years. One of them dates back to before I was born. This is why there wasn't a significant criminal investigation into it. He didn't commit them here too, they were in so many states over decades All, because he could and thought that he could get away with it. That’s the only logic he had for his actions, my dad was a murderer, and it was something that I had to live with, but I’m not sure that I can. No matter how hard I try.
* * *
***
* * *
I’ve never been so nervous about going to the hospital or meeting someone, but I am about seeing Lily today. Once again, I purchased lilies. When I arrived at the flower shop, and they recognized me, they didn’t want to serve me. But then they changed their minds and told me to never go back there again.
I wait and watch her from the window as she’s watching television. There’s a nurse next to me going into her room. I know that she’ll comment about me standing outside and watching her.
“Hi, She’s not going to bite you. Come in with me if you like?”
I nervously wrap my hands around the lilies, and for some reason, I think about the first time I met Lily. She was anxious when she was participating in the auction, and she made the most of it. She had men that she’d never met bidding for her virginity and she did that to set her brother free.
The irony of it all.
Her brother was accused of murdering a woman, who was killed by my dad. He would have let Gary go to prison if I hadn’t put all the pieces together. Even worse, he would have killed Lily in the process. I shake my head as I think about the fate of my dad and what could have happened to Lily.
“Thank you,” I whisper as I enter the room and Lily’s aware of only the nurse’s presence.
“How are you feeling today?”
“Bored,” Lily shrugs and then the nurse introduces me. She’s seen me a few times before, whenever Lily's sleeping.
“Well, you have company,” and then the nurses head tilt’s to the side in my direction. There’s no escaping it now. I have to stay and even worse I have to deal with whatever Lily has to say to me.
“Hey, are you hiding there?”
I shake my head as I have the flowers behind my back because it feels a bit cliche. My dad tried to kill her, so I've come to visit her with a bunch of flowers.
I forget myself as I draw closer to her.
“You bought lilies, can I see them?”
I nod and then the nurse says, “Wow, maybe he’s not that good of a company. He’s no
t saying anything. Okay, I can take a hint. I’ll go and find a vase for those beautiful flowers.”
“Thanks,” my voice is trembling, and then so I say, “I’ll appreciate that.”
She nods, “And Lily will do too.”
Lily smiles at her and says, “Come here, I can’t move my head so much.”
I face her, the arrogant and confident Blake has run out of the room, and this immature, shy boy has entered. As much as I want him to leave, he just seems to stay. I take in her beauty. Her skin is pale, and she looks a little withdrawn as if she’s lost weight. Her eyes are slightly dull, but she’s still beautiful, especially when she smiles. There’s something so innocent about her smile that it always manages to take my breath away.
“Did you just come to look at me?”
“Sorry, I’m staring.”
She nods, “Just a little.”
I find myself lost with something to say until the nurse enters with the vase. I take the flowers from Lily and say, “It’s okay. I’ll put them in the vase.”
“Wow, a man who knows how to arrange flowers. You’ve got a good one there Lily. Don’t let him go.”
Then she walks back out again. I feel a bit embarrassed about the compliment. Before my mom was sick, I used to put flowers beside her bed, the days that dad used to hit her so bad that she couldn’t leave her bed. Those were the days that I used to put flowers in a vase. Just to let her know that she’s beautiful. That money shouldn’t be the driving factor to be consistently treated as a punching bag.
Lily doesn’t say anything to her. There’s silence in the room, but I have the comfort of getting the flowers ready and not worrying about it so much. I need to get going and go to the office. I came to see her, and so far maybe she’s not ready to see me. She’s not saying anything and being here is just giving me a headache.
I put the flowers on a side table, and she beams, “Now when I get up in the morning I have something beautiful to look at.”
“You could just look in the mirror every day.”