by Amy Brent
Deena walked into the room and sat down in her favorite little rocking chair. She looked up at her mother, wide-eyed and innocent.
“How would you feel about spending the weekend at Grandpa's?” Chanise asked.
“The whole weekend?”
“That's right.”
“I guess,” Deena said. She shrugged. She had never been away from her mother for a full weekend since she was born, but Chanise was glad that she seemed to be taking it in stride.
“When are we going?” Deena asked.
“Well, baby, that's the other part of what I wanted to talk to you about.” Chanise folded her hands in her lap and leaned forward, hoping she could explain this right without her daughter asking too many awkward questions. “I'm not going to stay at Grandpa's place over the weekend. It'll just be you and Grandpa together, okay?”
“You're not coming?” Deena pouted.
“No, baby. But you and Grandpa will get to spend lots of time together.”
“Why aren't you coming?”
“Well...” Chanise took a deep breath. “Because, baby, I'm going to go see Jake.”
“Oh.” Deena thought about that for a moment. “Are you having a sleepover?”
“That's right, baby. Jake and I are having a grown-up sleepover.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Deena frowned slightly, and Chanise wondered what she was thinking about. Deena was far too young to really know anything about sex, and Chanise was hoping to have quite a few years before she had to have that awkward conversation with her daughter. But if Deena thought anything was strange about her mother spending the night at a man's house, she didn't say so.
The next morning, Chanise packed two overnight bags, one for herself, and one for Deena. Deena's bag had a change of clothes and some of her favorite coloring books and dolls, along with a couple of videos. Chanise's bag, in addition to a change of clothes, had something special that she would picked up for her night with Jake. Something she made sure not to let Deena see while she was packing.
Chanise arrived at Jake's house in the late afternoon. He had dinner warming on the stove, though she suspected it was catered food again. She didn't care. As long as they had the night to share together alone.
They enjoyed a quiet meal together, and then Jake opened a bottle of wine. They sat on the couch together, watching the sun set over the city. The view from Jake's high-rise apartment was breathtaking, and for a moment, Chanise wondered what it would be like to live in such a place. She had never been a city girl, but the luxurious apartment was the sort of place she could get used to.
Sitting with Jake that night was a very different experience than their wild, passionate afternoon at the counseling office. Gone was the vulnerable, crying man who had needed her comfort. He was back to his usual flirtatious, confident self. But as much as she missed seeing Jake's vulnerable side, she found herself drawn to his cocky, confident side as well. Throughout the night he made her laugh, he made her smile, and he made her blush. And with a couple of glasses of wine in her, she felt more and more relaxed around him. Enough so that she started developing some confidence of her own.
When Jake set down his wine glass and put his hand on her hip, she smiled and touched a finger to his lips. “Give me a minute, dear.”
“Just a minute?” he asked, smirking.
“Maybe two.” She set down her wine glass and got up, grabbing her bag. She headed into the bathroom and stripped down, then slipped into the nightie she had bought just for that night. It had been a long time since she had worn such a thing, and she had put on some pounds since the last time, early in her marriage. Bearing a child and the stresses of life that had come after her husband's death had rounded out her hips a bit more, though she knew she still had a good figure, extra pounds or not.
She adjusted the silken black negligee over her thighs, admiring herself in the mirror. The nightie lifted her full breasts, making them even more eye-catching than usual.
She took a deep breath to steady herself before she headed back out into the living room. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous. She had already had sex with Jake, and under much more vulnerable circumstances than these. She should have been confident and ready to go. Yet somehow, this was different.
Maybe, she thought, it was because this time, it was more of a premeditated choice. This wasn't just a moment of passion, where they lost control of their urges and ended up in each other's arms. Instead, she had come to Jake's apartment tonight knowing that they would be sleeping together. Knowing that she would be offering her body to him and that it was something she had decided on her own. Somehow, that made it bigger. More important.
Her fears and concerns were washed away when she walked into the living room and saw Jake's eyes light up at the sight of her. He smiled, taking in everything he saw. He stood up and slowly walked over towards her, his lips pursed in admiration. “Wow,” he said. “You look amazing.”
Chanise toyed with the little ribbons on the sides of her negligee. “You mean that?” She had been a bit worried that he wouldn't like the way her body looked. That he wouldn't be attracted to her when he wasn't swept up in a vulnerable moment.
“Really,” he said, slipping his hands around her waist. “You're beautiful.”
He leaned down and kissed her. His fingers trailed up and down the silken material of her nightie, sending shivers through her body. She reached up and cupped his cheeks with her hands, holding his face gently as she kissed him. His kiss was slow and sensual, and at the same time, the rough touch of the slight stubble on his chin made him feel grizzled and masculine.
Jake took her hands and led her towards the bedroom. The bed was huge, covered in silvery silken sheets. He pulled her towards the bed and he sat down on the edge, pulling her into his lap. She kept kissing him while she unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off, and then she pushed him back onto the bed, straddling him.
Jake scooted further up the bed, pulling her with him. She pulled down his pants and found him more than ready to go. She settled herself on top of him, taking him inside of her, and she leaned forward, grabbing his shoulders as she started to ride him. Every movement was slow, sensual, and deliberate. She didn't want to rush this time. She didn't want to worry about any interruptions. They had all night, and she wanted to take all the time they had.
Jake massaged her breasts and toyed with her nipples, sending shivers through her body. She arched her head back, moaning in pleasure. He ground his hips up against her, moving in time with the rocking of her body. Soon they found a steady rhythm together, and she started riding him harder, driving him deep inside of her. He held her hips, his fingers digging tight into her caramel flesh, hard enough to make her moan louder and louder. The forcefulness of his touch drove her to the edge, and she felt the sensations exploding inside of her.
She shuddered and collapsed on top of him, clinging to him. Then he rolled her over and climbed on top of her, his movements more urgent now, filled with his own need. She held him close and clung to him as he fucked her hard until he came. Then she caressed his cheeks and kissed his face, smiling and feeling a sense of pure bliss.
She fell asleep in his arms that night, the first night she had slept in the same bed with another man since her husband died. And even though it felt good and it felt right, there was a part of her that felt guilty. She felt like this night was the sign that she was finally moving on, and she hadn't realized it until that moment. She didn't know if she was ready to move on, to let herself love again, after what she had lost.
She stayed quiet, not wanting to ruin the mood or let Jake know that anything was wrong. He certainly hadn't done anything wrong. Yet even though she was happy to be where she was, she found herself crying softly in the night until finally she fell asleep.
* * *
* * *
* * *
In the morning, Chanise got up and showered. It felt a bit strange to be waking up in another person's apartment, and with
out her daughter there. She usually had to get up early to make Deena's breakfast, and Deena was always up at the crack of dawn. Chanise was never able to sleep in. Which was probably why she was up long before Jake woke up, even though she hadn't set an alarm.
By the time she finished showering, Jake was still asleep, so she decided to make breakfast for them. She went into the kitchen and dug through the cabinets, searching for something fitting. Like the typical bachelor, Jake didn't have much to eat in the house, aside from cold cereal, canned soup, frozen dinners, and other quick, easy, and microwaveable goods. This just proved her suspicion that last night’s dinner had been ordered from a catering place.
She gave up on the idea of serving Jake a fresh-cooked helping of breakfast in bed and stuck with cereal and toast. She sat in the living room, watching the morning news until Jake woke up. He came out wearing nothing but his boxers and a satisfied smile. “Morning, babe,” he said.
“Good morning.” She smiled as he sat next to her and kissed her cheek. “Next time you’re having company over, you should stock the kitchen better.” She gestured to her empty bowl and plate.
“Sorry about that. I usually order out.”
“I kind of figured,” Chanise smirked, shaking her head.
“So,” Jake said, leaning back against the couch and draping his arm over the back. “You have to run off and take care of the kid today, or do I get to keep you all day?”
“You can keep me until after lunch,” Chanise said. She leaned over and gave him a kiss. “After that, I have to get home. Deena isn't used to being without her mother.”
“Ahh, she'll be fine,” Jake said, waving his hand. “She seems like a tough enough kid. Besides, she's gonna have to get used to this.”
“Is that so?” Chanise asked, arching her eyebrows.
“Well, yeah.” Jake scooted closer and put his arm around her. “You're planning on sticking around, right? I mean, I wouldn't have invited you back here if this was going to just be a one-night thing.”
“Is that what you usually do?” Chanise asked. “One night stands.”
Jake shrugged, averting his eyes. “I haven't been involved with anyone seriously in a long time if that's what you mean.”
“I just want to make sure that we're both in this for the same reasons.”
“What reasons are those?” Jake asked.
Chanise chewed on her lip, thinking it over. She wasn't sure how to explain her complicated thoughts and emotions when it came to getting into a relationship. “I haven't dated anyone since my husband died. And I'm not interested in dating anyone casually. So if this is just a fling, please let me know now. I don't want to get my hopes up only to end up getting my heart crushed.”
Jake took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It's not just a fling. I mean, hey, when I first met you, I guess that's all I was looking for. But...I dunno...” He shrugged, looking away.
Chanise reached up and caressed his cheek. She decided not to press him to talk about how he felt. He obviously struggled with talking about his feelings, and she didn't need him to say it out loud. Not yet, at least.
They spent the rest of the morning together. They watched a movie, though they only saw about half of it before they started fooling around on the couch. They ended up going into the bedroom for another romp, after which Chanise had to take another shower. She didn't want to end up going home to her daughter smelling like sex.
Over lunch, Chanise decided there was another issue she needed to bring up. One she didn't think could be avoided any longer. “Jake,” she said. “If you're serious about us continuing to see each other, then I think we need to talk about my father.”
“I thought you said we were going to keep things quiet for a while,” Jake said. “I've only got a couple of weeks left.”
“I know that, but I don't think I can keep my father in the dark about our relationship for that long. For one thing, he almost caught us at the office on Thursday.”
A smug grin spread across Jake's face. “Yeah, but that was amazing.”
She shot him a stern, annoyed look. “That is not happening again. When we're at the office, you keep your hands to yourself, mister.”
He smirked and took her hand. “Oh, come on. You know you liked it. The thrill. The risk of getting caught.”
Chanise pulled her hand away, her face heating up despite her annoyance. “I'm serious. I don't want to risk my job or get my father angry with me. Please.”
Jake sighed, but he nodded. “Sure. I'll keep it in my pants when we're at the office.”
“And I think you should talk to my father on Thursday about needing a new counselor,” Chanise said.
“Already?”
“Yes. I don't want to spend the next few weeks sneaking around. I had to be evasive with him yesterday when I was dropping off Deena. He wanted to know about the guy I'm dating. And I want to be able to tell him. To be honest with him. Not to sneak around like I'm some teenager who has to date behind her father's back.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Jake shrugged. His shoulders slumped a bit.
“Is that a problem?” Chanise asked.
“Not really. It's just...”
“Just what?”
“It's just that I really like talking to your dad.” Jake frowned and looked away like he was too embarrassed to talk about his emotions in front of her. “I never had anyone who could make me feel so comfortable. Make me open up so much. I'm just worried that if I go see someone else, it won't...work the same.”
“I'm sure it will,” Chanise said. “Dad knows some excellent counselors. He can recommend someone. I'm sure it'll work out fine.”
“What am I supposed to tell him, though?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Jake spread his hands, pausing a moment to search for the words, “you said you don't want him to know about us yet, right? I mean, do you want me to go in there and tell him I need a new counselor because I'm fucking his daughter?”
“Dating his daughter,” Chanise said, crossing her arms.
“Dating his daughter. Right. So should I say that?”
“Well...no, I guess not.” Chanise frowned.
“So what should I say? I mean, I don't really want to lie to him. But if you think we shouldn't tell him we're dating until after I'm already seeing a different counselor, then we need to tell him something.”
“Could you just tell him you feel like your sessions would go better with someone else?” Chanise asked.
“I don't want to insult him. I mean, he's been really good to me. And he's a real cool guy. Plus, I kind of want to stay on his good side.” He gave Chanise a bashful grin. “I mean, I want him to still like me when he finds out I'm...dating his daughter.”
Chanise sighed. She leaned her elbow on the table and propped her chin in her hand. “This is kind of a messy situation. If he gets the wrong idea about us before we get a chance to tell him the right way, it might not go well. He's a bit overprotective.”
“Lots of dads are like that.”
“Yeah, but I think it's a bit more than that. My dad has always been the one to think about people's motivations. Psychoanalyzing them and all that. He used to interrogate the guys I wanted to date in high school, and if he thought they were just horny little teenage boys with no future, he wouldn't approve.”
“He didn't let you date them?”
“Well, no,” Chanise said. “He always let me make my own decisions. But he would make it quite clear when he didn't approve of someone. And I always had a hard time dating someone my father didn't approve of.”
“Well, I really hope he approves of me.”
Chanise smiled at Jake and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I'm sure he will. We just need to figure out the right way to approach this.”
They discussed it for a bit longer, but they were unable to come up with a good way to broach the subject with Chanise's father. They decided to discuss it more, later
since Chanise was running late to pick up her daughter.
She drove back to her father's house to pick up Deena. When she got there, her father took her into another room and asked. “So, how are things with this young gentleman of yours?”
“Good,” Chanise said. Her chest started to feel a bit tight. She wasn't sure how to talk about Jake with her father without revealing his identity.
“Did you have a nice time?” He put his hands in his pockets and raised his chin, studying her face.
Chanise started to sweat a little. She knew this look. It was the look her father got when he started analyzing her, trying to gauge her reactions to things. “We had a good time, yes. I'm going to be seeing him again.”
“Good, good.” Her father waited for a moment, watching her face. His foot tapped impatiently on the ground. “So, Chanise, is there anything you want to tell me?”
Chanise held her breath, trying to figure out if her father already knew what was going on, or had some reason to suspect. Had he seen Jake the other day at the office, when they were fooling around? Had she done or said something to give it away. “What do you mean?”
Her father gestured into the living room, where Deena was watching a video. “Well, your daughter told me all about how you and her had dinner with your young man the other day. She was all excited about going into Philly and going up in the tall building.”
Chanise pressed her lips together in a thin line. She hadn't thought that Deena would blab about Jake to her Grandpa. Though she should have expected it. The child always did speak her mind.
“She said you were dating the man she saw on TV,” her father said. “I was curious about that, and I asked her who. She told me it was one of my patients. Jake Stone.”
Chanise nervously rubbed her hands on her pants. “Yes. Yes, that's right. I was going to tell you, Dad, but...”
“But you knew I'd be upset to know you were fooling around with one of my patients behind my back. Do you have any idea the position this puts me in? Especially considering Jake's situation with his coach. If they find out there's a conflict of interest, you understand what could happen to him?”