by J. L. Drake
When I told her how beautiful she was, I knew those were the most honest words I’d spoken in a long time.
With her twinkling green eyes, her red lips, her cheeks flushed, and her long black hair falling down her back, she was an image impossible to forget. The look she gave me made my heart race.
So fucking beautiful.
She had sunk deep under my skin and I had to get her out as soon as possible.
Only one way to do that.
One fuck and then I would move on.
Ayla would be no different to me. I had to make sure of it.
Chapter 30
Ayla
At his words, my heart flipped and my stomach twisted. He called me beautiful. I quickly ducked my head.
He coughed and then cleared his throat. “Thank you for cleaning my wounds.”
I nodded and then looked up. “I want to thank you too. For taking care of me the night before.” Nervously playing with the hem of my dress, I continued, “I should have thanked you earlier, but didn’t get the chance.”
“Is that why you bandaged my hand?” Alessio asked.
I shook my head quickly and whispered, “No.”
“Was it pity then? I don’t need your pity, Ayla,” he growled.
“It was not pity. I just wanted to help.” And it was true. I didn’t pity him. I felt for him instead. I felt his pain and my heart begged me to offer him comfort. So I did what I could.
“Why is it so bad that I bandaged your hand?” I asked.
Alessio glared down at me and he released a frustrated breath.
“I wanted to help, Alessio. It wasn’t pity. And even if you didn’t take care of me that night, I would have still cleaned your wounds.” He stared at me through hazy eyes and clenched his jaw.
I pinned my hair behind my ears and smoothed it. “I can’t say that I totally understand what you are going through—”
“Don’t,” he hissed.
“But I know what it feels like to have so much pain that you feel like you’re going to die.” I needed him to understand, to see that I was broken too. “So, maybe a little, I do understand your pain. Because I felt it too. Not for the same reasons, but I know what it feels like.” I stared at his bandaged hands. “When I did that, it was me showing you that I understood. I was trying to give comfort in return.” I choked on the last few words.
“I don’t need your comfort, Ayla,” he said through gritted teeth.
My head snapped up at his words and I shook my head. “Everyone needs comforting sometimes.”
“Why the fuck do you make everything so hard?” Alessio growled, standing up. At his sudden action, I fell back on my butt, but quickly scrambled up to my feet. He moved away from me and turned to the wall, giving me his rigid back instead.
“I’m sorry.” Tears blinded my vision and my nose started to tingle. Why was he being so hard? Why couldn’t he just accept it?
“You need to stay in your limits, Ayla,” he warned. At his words, my body froze and fear took place. He was right. I did overstep my boundaries. I was lost in the moment, so lost in his sweet words and gentle gaze that I forgot who he was and who I was.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered again, my voice shaking.
“Leave!” Alessio ordered.
It felt like a slap in my face and I quickly shuffled backward. When I didn’t move fast enough, he yelled, “Did you not hear what I said? Fucking leave!”
I choked back a sob and quickly swiveled around, then ran out, but stumbled into a hard chest on my way out.
I looked up and saw Nikolay’s angry face. His eyes roamed over my face and then glanced behind me.
“What were you doing in there?” he snapped.
“I—”
“Stay away from that room.” He glared at me. “And stay the fuck away from the boss. He doesn’t have time to deal with you. Understood?”
I nodded without saying anything as the tears fell down my cheeks. Nikolay was indifferent as he walked past me and into the piano room. The door closed behind him.
My heart ached at the thought of Alessio suffering alone. He desperately needed solace, yet refused to accept it even when it was being given to him freely.
Why couldn’t he see my pain? Why couldn’t he see that I was the same as him?
He was too blinded by his own past.
Chapter 31
Ayla
I swiped away my tears as I walked down the stairs in a daze. I couldn’t understand Alessio. He was unpredictable and short-tempered, and he hid his feelings well.
I just wished he let his guard down and let me in. I wanted to know what he was thinking.
As strange as it sounded, I wanted to help him.
But he shut me out every time, first gentle and then rude and heartless.
Every time I was with him, I felt a pull. His touch was fire, his voice silk. And his eyes penetrated my soul.
I should fear him. I did fear him, but under the layers of fear, I cared. He made me feel even when I didn’t want to.
Neither of us wanted to feel. We both tried to hide it.
I walked into the kitchen and found Maddie and Lena there. “Hey,” Maddie chirped from her spot behind the counter.
Lena turned to face me and wiped her hands in her apron. “Good morning, Ayla,” she said with a sweet smile.
Smiling back, I gave her a hug. “Good morning,” I said as I stepped out of her warm embrace. I helped them in the kitchen, trying not to think about that morning.
“I’ll message the others to set the table,” Maddie muttered as she took out her phone. She was still typing the message when I saw Viktor walking into the kitchen, his face hard and cold.
“Boss wants his breakfast in his office,” he said briskly before leaving. We didn’t even have a chance to reply.
Was Alessio going to eat alone? I thought back to our earlier encounter, his fury as he told me to leave the room, and the flash of pain I saw in his eyes before he shut me out.
I felt someone nudge me, snapping out of my thoughts. Maddie stared at me in confusion.
“What’s wrong? You’ve been quiet this morning,” she asked, leaning her elbows on the counter as she waited for an answer.
I shrugged.
Maddie leaned forward. “Is it about Alessio?”
I chuckled. “You are a mind reader, Maddie.”
Her eyes twinkled and she winked. “I know. So, what happened?”
“Well, last night, I went to the piano room and Alessio caught me there. But when I was about to leave, he let me play—”
“What?” she squealed. “You played the piano? Alessio let you play the piano?” Her mouth hung open in shock.
I nodded.
“Wait. You played the piano in front of Alessio?”
Before I could answer, she continued, “Ayla, this is big! He never lets anyone play the piano. It’s forbidden. It’s his mother’s, and since her death, nobody was allowed to play it.”
The news took my breath away and I stared at her in shock.
If that’s why he was angry at me, why did he let me play in the first place?
I bit down on my lips in frustration. Alessio was a confusing man.
“Mom! Did you hear that? Alessio let Ayla play the piano!” Maddie exclaimed loudly next to my ear. Wincing, I took a step away.
“Yes. I heard,” Lena replied, her voice soft. I turned toward her and saw that she was smiling at me, her eyes shining merrily.
Turning back to Maddie, I continued, “But it didn’t end well. He ordered me to leave afterwards. He was really angry. And this morning too.”
“This morning?”
“I went back to check on him to make sure he cleaned his wounds. But he didn’t. So, I cleaned them for him. He was nice about it, but then got angry again,” I muttered.
“Wait. You cleaned his wounds and he got angry at you?” Maddie bristled slightly. When I nodded, she placed her hands on her hips and tapped her foot on the ground in
annoyance. “God, he is so damn annoying. What exactly did he say?”
At her question, I grew somber. “I kind of told him that we all need comforting sometimes and he shouldn’t have to deal with it alone. But he got really angry and told me to stay in my limits. And he yelled at me to leave.”
“What. An. Ungrateful. Bastard,” Maddie growled.
“Maddie! Watch your language,” Lena scolded.
“I’m serious, Mom. How dare he? Ayla helped him, and this is how he treats her?”
“We all know how he is. Alessio doesn’t like the attention. Or comfort. He doesn’t do well with emotions.” Lena placed a comforting hand on my back.
“I know,” I whispered.
Maddie still looked angry. “Maybe you should have just left his hands bloody so they would get infected. He sure as hell deserves it. Asshole.”
“Maddie! Enough!” Lena reprimanded her loudly.
“Fine!” She crossed her arms against her chest. Lena gave her a glare, but it didn’t look threatening at all. I didn’t think she could ever look angry, even she tried hard.
After giving Maddie another serious look, she turned to me and palmed my cheek. “Don’t take Alessio too seriously. He is like that to everyone. Give him some time,” she said softly, before smiling and then walking out of the kitchen.
As soon as Lena was out of sight, Maddie started swearing. “That little fucker. He is lucky I wasn’t there. I would have sucker punched him for talking like that to you. Asshole. Jerk.”
She kept going, moving around the kitchen almost furiously. She slammed a plate full of breakfast on a tray and then made a glass of protein while I stood there watching her rage. When Maddie was done, she pushed the tray in my hand.
“Go give that him,” she ordered.
Was she crazy? Why would she send me back to the lion’s den?
“What? No.” I pushed the tray back.
“Nuh-uh, girl. You are going up there and giving him his breakfast. And you are going to act like nothing happened.”
When I didn’t move, she sighed and her shoulders dropped. “Considering how long I have known him, I’m pretty sure he is feeling guilty right now. So you are going to go up there and make him feel guiltier and shitty about himself. Yeah?”
“Maddie—”
“Trust me. He will probably even apologize. But you are going to act nonchalant and walk away. Understood? Make. Him. Feel. Guilty,” she huffed.
I tried to shake my head but she was already talking over me. “Ayla, you are too sweet for your own good. Which makes it much worse. You didn’t deserve how he treated you. So, humor me, okay? Please.”
“No,” I snapped.
Maddie threw her hands in the air in frustration.
“Maddie, I don’t want to hurt him. He is angry and doesn’t want to see me,” I replied.
“And that’s where you are wrong. Alessio wants to see you. He let you play the piano, for God’s sake. It means something. It means a lot. He is just frustrated at himself and that’s why he took it out on you,” Maddie explained in a rush. “I know him, Ayla. Just do as I tell you and everything will be good.”
“But—”
Maddie shook her head. “No. You are getting late. Go give Alessio his breakfast.” When I didn’t move, she gently pushed me toward the door. “Go. And good luck! You can do this.”
As I slowly walked out of the kitchen, I heard Maddie call out behind me, “I’ll be waiting here for you.”
“Okay,” I muttered, my voice trembling.
I passed by Nikolay and Viktor as I made my way upstairs. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck prickled as I felt their stares on my back, but I kept my gaze down, purposely avoiding them.
With each step I took toward Alessio’s office, my heart hammered almost painfully in my chest. My hands grew cold and a trickle of sweat ran down my neck and between my shoulder blades.
Stopping in front of the door, I took a deep breath and then brought my hand up. As soon as my fist knocked against the door, Alessio’s voice came through.
“Come in.”
I walked inside to find him facing away from me. He was only wearing his black shirt and black slacks. I cleared my throat and he quickly turned around, his eyes widening at the sight of me.
I sighed in relief when I noticed he had showered. He was wearing a clean dress shirt, and his hair appeared wet. His face was cleaned from the blood too.
I also noticed that he was struggling to wrap his bandages again.
“I brought your breakfast,” I said, surprisingly without stuttering. He stared at me silently, his face impassive, and then he nodded toward the coffee table.
I placed the tray down before straightening and turning to look at Alessio. We stared at each other for a second before I stared at his hands.
Taking a step closer, I cleared my throat again before nervously asking, “Do you want me to bandage them again?”
He had made it clear that he didn’t want my help before, but there was nothing wrong in offering to help again. Right? It was his choice to accept it or not.
Alessio looked down at his hands and then shook his head. “No. It’s okay. I’ll do it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” he responded briskly. He tried to wrap the bandages around his hands and I stayed still as I watched him struggle with it.
It was a mess. Without thinking of the consequences, I walked to him and took his hands in mine. Alessio went rigid and I felt his breath on my forehead. With my head bent, I started to wrap the bandages around his hands.
He stood perfectly still, his muscles barely moving. His breathing was slightly erratic. My heart thumped in my chest and my stomach twisted nervously at being this close to him.
When I was done, I stepped back and gave him a wan smile. “Done,” I whispered as our eyes met.
Alessio didn’t answer. I didn’t expect him to. Giving him another smile, I turned around and started to walk away. Just as I neared the door, his voice stopped me.
“Wait,” he demanded.
I stopped. When I heard him sigh, I decided to face him. Turning around, I saw him running his hand through his hair. He looked down and then leaned against his desk, crossing his ankles.
“About this morning,” Alessio started as he looked back up. “I shouldn’t have yelled. That was a mistake.”
He looked a little uncomfortable. Even though his words were meant to be nice, his face was still hard and cold. But I didn’t care. It was the words that mattered. It wasn’t an apology but it was enough for me.
That was all I needed to hear.
My heart fluttered at what he said and I smiled again. “Okay,” I replied.
Alessio nodded and if I wasn’t mistaken, he looked relieved.
Maddie had been right. He had been feeling guilty. But I was glad that my acceptance took this burden away from him.
When the room filled with silence again, I took it as my cue to leave. But Alessio spoke again. His words took my breath away, my hand going to my chest.
“You can keep playing the piano if you want.”
I stared at him in confusion as my heart went wild. I had to lock my knees together to keep from falling on the floor.
Hope blossomed in me at his words and all I wanted to do was cry.
“I can?”
Alessio nodded and his expression changed to slight embarrassment. “That’s my way of making it up to you,” he replied.
How could he be sweet and gentle yet heartless and cruel at the same time?
His words meant one thing, while his actions spoke something else entirely.
I was scared to hope…only because he could change his mind in the blink of an eye and it would crush me. But I couldn’t help the feeling of happiness coursing through my body.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice filled with emotions and gratefulness as tears blinded my vision.
He nodded again without saying anything. He appeared to swallow
almost nervously.
After a few seconds of him avoiding eye contact with me while I stared at him through tear-filled eyes, I decided it was time for me to leave.
Turning around, I reached for the knob, but didn’t open the door. Instead I paused and wiped my tears away before whispering again, “Thank you.”
I didn’t know if he heard it or not, but I didn’t give him a chance to answer. Opening the door, I walked out, my body light with contentment.
I skipped downstairs, barely containing the smile on my face.
As soon as I got to the kitchen, I ran to Maddie and hugged her tightly. She laughed.
“I take it things went well. I would say very well from that expression on your face,” Maddie said lightly as she hugged me back.
I nodded and then laughed with merriment. “He told me I can keep playing the piano!”
Maddie’s eyes softened even further and she smiled brightly. “There you go. See, I told you.”
“Maddie. I think I am…happy.”
“I know. I’m happy too.”
I nodded and smiled back. My cheeks were hurting from smiling too much and too hard.
When was the last time I smiled and laughed like this?
I didn’t know. I didn’t care.
All that mattered was what I felt now.
Chapter 32
2 weeks later
“Maddie, stop!” I giggled as she continued to tickle my sides. “Ouch. It hurts. Stop!”
“That’s what you get for throwing whipped cream in my face.” She laughed.
“You did it first,” I argued back through my giggling.
“Ahh, stop…too much…I can’t breathe…”
“Do you accept defeat?” she growled, trying to mimic Alessio’s voice. That made me laugh even harder.
“Yes. Yes. Oh my God.” I breathed out as she slowly stopped her attack on my sides.
But as soon as she let me go, I twisted around and caught her by the legs. Giving her a challenging look, I trapped her legs underneath mine and started to tickle her.