“You don’t like pickles.”
“Don’t I know it?” Cody said. “The second I see what I’ve done, I feel like throwing up.”
I thought about what else Tobias had thrown at me during our fight, and brought up the one thing he said that I couldn’t help but argue. “Cody, do you think I’m being selfish by not taking my rites?”
“You still think Brünhild’s theory might be right? That you taking your rites would weaponize that weird empath thing you do with us?”
I hesitated to tell him that that “weird empath thing” was actually getting stronger on its own. Knowing that the fire melded a hood’s power and proofed it, how could it not make that ability in me stronger?
“I have no doubt. But you and I also know that’s not the only thing that comes from the fire. If I take rites, my mother is my commander. No way she’s going to let me come back to school, especially in Yellow’s sanjak.”
“Not to mention, it would make her happier than a pup with a plaything,” Cody added. “I don’t know much, but I know anything that makes your mom happy is dangerous ground in my eyes.”
The smile that crept across my face felt so bittersweet, tugging at the heartstrings of memory. Cody and I, hidden in the forests, trading barbs about the dominion that constituted my mother.
“Still,” he went on, “can’t deny it would make me breathe a little easier, knowing you could take care of yourself if things ever came down to it.”
“You think I can’t take care of myself?”
The ice that had crept into my voice forced him to rush to correct himself. “You’re a tough chick, Geri. You know you are. You’ve kicked my ass multiple times when I was shorter in the canines. It’s just that...”
“You’re stronger than me now,” I deadpanned. Even I knew better. When we grabbled as thirteen-year olds, my superiority came from advanced training and the fact that, typical of teenagers, I had matured earlier than Cody did. Now, years later, there would be no hope if I were to take on Cody in a fair match. He’d have my throat before I could scream. “Don’t worry about hurting my feelings, Cody. You know I prefer honesty to kindness.”
He sighed. “If only there were a way to take rites and not be under your mother’s thumb on the flip side.”
“Yeah, and if rivers could run backwards...”
A distance crept into his voice. “Maybe they can.”
“They can’t,” I assured him. “I had world geography my first year at community. Even there, they knew that rivers do not, in fact, flow backward.”
“No need to lord your superior education over me, Kline. I gots brains too. I was just thinking, remember the time I teased you about being ketchup and mustard, since you’re the child of a red and a yellow?”
“You mean to time you threatened to put me all over your hot dog?” I asked. “What does that have to do with... Oh. Oh, I see what you mean. But that seems a little extreme, don’t you think?”
“This is an extreme situation. Just don’t forget it’s an option.” He returned to the serious situation at hand. “About Tobias. Try to be a little more compassionate, okay? I know you’re all silver nails and barbed wire, but even a werewolf needs a gentle pat on the head every so often. I’ll order him to go back to your place, but that’s all I can do. I’m an alpha, not a miracle worker. I can deliver him to your door, but I can’t force him to forgive you. Making things good with him? That’s all on you.”
“I’ll do my best, Cody. Thanks.”
Chapter Twenty-One
The werewolf occupied the couch, his arms resting on the back, spanning the width. How acute was his sense of smell? Could he still detect hints of Jess? I hadn’t been able to for at least a month, luckily just the time Tobias showed up to stay with me. Then again, my sense of smell wasn’t as good as his. Neither, it seemed, was my stubbornness.
Coming back to the apartment had been an imperative. When an alpha gave a direct order, the wolf at the receiving end only had two choices: obey or break his covenant with the pack. After Tobias had experienced firsthand the dangers of being without pack, of being literally moments away from permanent moon madness and stuck in his animal form forever, he must not be too eager to relive the experience.
But that didn’t mean he had to be happy about what the alpha required him to do. Tobias clearly was not happy.
I shifted awkwardly on the armchair perpendicular to the couch. “Can we just try to talk?”
He hadn’t said a word. Not when I opened the door. Not when I closed it. Not for the five minutes since I’d said the last thing, when I asked him if he wanted something to drink or needed to get some sleep before talking. I’d even gone off to take a shower and get ready for work, hoping he’d settle in and unwind a bit. No luck.
He glared at me, then turned his head back to the spot on the wall that had previously consumed him. “It’s unnatural.”
Okay, cryptic talk was still talk. “What is?”
“That I’m here.”
“I know. Living in the city took some getting used to for me too. It’s so... busy. Noisy. Impersonal.”
“I don’t mean here, Chicago. I mean here, in this apartment.” Now when his eyes settled on me, it was with a murderous glare. Not that Tobias would hurt me. He couldn’t. He’d sworn to Cody to protect me with his life, and hate it as he might, he couldn’t go back on that. “Who in the hell are you? What kind of nascent hood can command an alpha like that? What kind of alpha listens? What kind of pussyfooted pack have you forced me in to?”
I bit my lip, knowing that from Tobias’s perspective, and seeping into the scars of his experience with the green hoods of the British Isles, infamous for their pigheadedness and military style, I must have looked as though I were my mother – a heartless matron who bullied respect from the packs in her sanjak. After all, I’d taken him, a foreign wolf with no connection to the Paradise wolves and on the edge of lunacity, to them on during a full moon, and gotten the alpha to accept him on the spot without an argument. Such adoptions were rare and generally only the result of an arranged mating to diversify a pack’s gene pool. Even then, the negotiations and courting could take months.
“You think I forced Cody to accept you.”
“Are you going to tell me you didn’t? Why else would an alpha accept someone like me? I have nothing to offer a new pack. I cannot be mated again, and I am too damaged to mentor any young pups. I have no kindreds in Paradise. You, hood, have put me in Hell.”
“Actually, Hell is in the lower peninsula.”
The joke flew over his head, and didn’t exactly pair well to the serious moment.
I slid my hands over my jeans. “I didn’t force Cody. He took you because it was the right thing to do. And because he’s my friend.”
He examined me, disgust curling his lips. “He... feels for you, almost like you are pack.”
“I almost was.”
His disbelieving glare forced me to continue. I got to my feet, pacing.
“About a year ago, a few days before I left for Chicago, Cody asked me to marry him. My mother got to Cody’s father, made him invoke alpha’s prerogative and forced him to mate Lisa. I showed up at Cody’s house the next day to tell him I’d decided to accept his proposal, to find him in post-mating bliss.”
A tenderness played behind his eyes, but Tobias was still unconvinced. “The pack never told me anything like that.”
“I suspect Lisa has something to do with that. She knows Cody could never really cheat on her, but he still considers me a friend. A best friend, maybe, and I would guess she doesn’t like it. I can’t blame her. It’s not her fault what happened. She was just another pawn my mother played.”
“And you... you still love him.”
“Like that matters.” When had I started to cry? “I know it’s not the same, Tobias. I know what you’re feeling is ten times, a hundred times, infinitely worse. But I do understand some of what it’s like to lose your mate, because in all the ways th
at really matter, I lost mine. For a while, all I wanted was revenge. If someone had come to me then and said they’d take out my mother for what she’d done, I’m not sure I would have said no. But I do know that if I had said yes, and then they let me down, I’d be pissed, like you are now.”
“I’m not...” His face tightened, before he laughed once. “No, I am pissed. But it’s not all you. I feel... emasculated. For the past two months, everything I need has been forced on me by you, directly or indirectly. Who my alpha is, where I live, even the food I eat. I’m not that much of a bleeding bastard. I know your intentions are good, but when you decided to take control over what I was allowed to know or not, that was too much.”
“I should have told you about Caleb,” I blurted out. “Finding a slayer was a huge thing, and it was wrong of me to keep it from you.”
His eyes returned to the floor. As he shook his head, his shoulder-length hair swished over his shoulders. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”
“What then?”
“I’m charged by my alpha to do everything within my power to keep you safe.” His eyes lifted to meet mine, begging. “Everything in my power includes forcing you to do what it takes to protect yourself. Take your rites, Geri.”
“It’s not that simple. As soon as I do, I’m under my mother’s command. It’s not as binding as alpha’s prerogative, but...”
Memories echoed in my head. My sweet cousin, Markus, had been a gentle spirit before his fire. A fiercely trained warrior, but one who believed the power of the dialog was stronger than silver. On the other side of his rites, however, he fell right into line with the red ways of discipline. He’d never been brutal with a wolf – not that I knew of, anyways – but he had garnered the reputation of being the go-to hood to deal swiftly with any of the mood mad in the western stretches of my mother’s sanjak.
I lowered my gaze, trying to hide the second appearance of tears. “I’m not sure who I’ll be on the other side. Plus, since it’s me, I could be more of a danger to you than I am now. I couldn’t go on, knowing I’d hurt you, that I’d hurt anyone in the pack.”
Tobias leaned over the space between us, putting his hand on my shoulder. “But right now, you’re hurting yourself. You’re losing control, Geri. Hoods are our balance, because in many ways, you have the same abilities and weaknesses.”
I shook my head, both because I was confused, and because his tenderness and proximity made me itchy. “What are you getting at?”
“You threw silver at me. Thank god it wasn’t anything sharp, but...” Tobias’s hand moved from my shoulder to splay in front of my eyes. Across the inside of his palm, from below his pinky down to the heel, a blistered stripe of skin bore the evidence of what I had done to him the night before. “If it had been, you might have damaged me more. Lunacity, Geri. You’re going moon mad.”
“Me, a lunatic?” My face screwed up. “That’s ridiculous. Hoods don’t get mood madness.”
“From what the Paradise Pack says, your mother keeps your clan on a very tight leash. All hoods put through their fires before they can legally vote. How old are you now, twenty?”
“Twenty-one last week.”
Could what he was saying be true? Truth be told, the first few full moons away from my clan had been tortuous. Then, the pain faded, replaced by crazy emotions, wild mood swings, passion both sensual and senile. Sure, all hoods got a little loco come full moon, but did they get as crazy as I got?
This time, his hands raised to my face, cupping both cheeks. “I know the consequences of taking your fire, and I can hardly believe I’m actually trying to power up one of your kind, but you have to take your rites. If you don’t, you’re going to end up like I almost did.” A smile broke across his face. “Only, I don’t have some ex-girlfriend in a clan somewhere to take you in, not that that would work for your kind.”
I echoed his chuckle just for a moment, until the sliver of truth in his joke stuck in my brain. “Actually, it might.”
“What might?”
“Seeking out alternatives,” I said, turning to look for my phone. I had to talk to Markus, and if he agreed with the crazy idea running through my head, there’d be more phone calls after. “Good news, Tobias. I think there’s a way of taking my rites that doesn’t involve my mother.”
“Well, that should go over well with that old battle ax. How soon can this be done?”
That was the catch, wasn’t it? “Nascent hoods can only take their fires on full moons.”
“But that’s not for another three weeks,” he chuffed. “What are we supposed to do between now and then?”
“Isn’t it obvious? Continue playing into Inga’s hands. I work in Igor’s lab at WWL, glean what I can off of Caleb about defending slayers, and keep my eyes open for when the status quo changes. My internship doesn’t end for a while yet. We’ll still have two weeks after I take rites to get out.”
“You do realize though, that if we find ourselves on a sticky wicket, you won’t be able to come back to Chicago. It would be too dangerous, even with your full abilities. Cody would never...” Tobias smacked the roof of his mouth with his tongue and rolled his eyes, forcing the admission through deceptive mannerisms. “I would never let you.”
He pretended to wince when I kid-boxed his shoulder. “Tobias Somfield, I do believe you’re becoming my friend.”
“Great, because you have such a wonderful history with having wolves as friends.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
With each driving swing, my aim grew more precise.
Caleb dropped the boxing pads, shaking out the impact of my last hit. “You keep this up, I’m going to have to declare you an honorary slayer.”
“I don’t think it works like that,” I said as I readied my next attack.
The actual slayer in the room raised the whole-body shield from the ground just in time to keep my foot from landing in his chest. For two weeks, I’d been pushing the limits of my endurance. Living a nocturnal life again helped. Now that I was working in Igor’s lab, and consequently my schedule had shifted from six hours starting late morning to five hours starting at 11 PM, I could use the earlier part of the night for training, and fall asleep with the sunrise. Tobias got Tuesday and Thursday, running me up and down the shores of Lake Michigan, and Caleb met me on Mondays and Wednesdays in the WWL executive gym. Fridays involved me sitting in a chair across from Inga Rosenthorn for an hour, giving a selective report on Igor’s undertakings. The old vampire wasn’t stupid. He’d known I’d been sent as a mole the moment I walked into his lab. Luckily, he also made sure to keep up appearances of a professional-only relationship in front of the other workers, three Hueys all wearing the pink-hued glasses. Likewise, the professor coached me on explaining the work we were doing to Inga without raising any red flags.
Though I wasn’t sure there were any red flags I could raise, even without the coaching. I took up my work right where I had left off at WCU, by scanning slides into the database. Meanwhile, Igor’s activities involved the “pinkies,” as he called the Hueys sporting pink glasses.
“They’re part of an experiment in neurocybernetic research,” Igor had explained when I asked. “We’re trying to see if we can hack the part of the brain that vampires effect when we enthrall someone. The goal is to make Hueys who are immune to our mental powers. It would be highly useful in daytime security provisions.”
At the tail end of my shift, under the auspices of uploading my daily lab notes into the research logging system, I sifted through the thousands of similar reports filed by WWL workers around the world. The v-corp took global conglomerate to a new level, and I recognized subsidiaries in at least a dozen countries and in as many industries, from automotive manufacturing to food products. I knew any research with supernatural overtones would be coded or somehow obfuscated. With two weeks of digging, nothing on Cynthia’s work, or anything that appeared related to werewolves in any way emerged.
I was running out of time, and wo
rse, I was running out of faith.
Training with Caleb had proven one thing so far: I’d never be as fast as a slayer, or have one’s ability to throw a ball of concentrated sunlight. Thanks to Caleb, however, I did know now that vampires’ strength peaked with the new moon, not the full moon like wolves. Also, the best way of engaging one in battle was to first engage him in conversation.
“They’re very arrogant if they feel intellectually challenged. Whether or not you can match wits with them doesn’t matter.” Caleb shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s something that happens to them in their rebirth. Something in their brain that overrides their fight-or-flight instinct. If you can strike up a conversation with a vampire, you don’t need to chase them. You can walk right up and fight face to face. You get them engaged, and they’re too distracted to smoke. Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
“Shoot.”
“That jumping-into-the-fire thing you mentioned,” Caleb said. “Does it hurt?”
“Doesn’t seem too. I’d call bullshit on it if I hadn’t seen it a dozen times. It’s not that we’re impervious to burning, just fire doesn’t seem to have an effect on us. Got a hell of a scar on my ankle, though, that proves red-hot pokers work just fine.”
Caleb threw me a cold bottle from a minifridge at the side of the gym. Apparently getting distracted by talk wasn’t reserved for vamps. “What’s the whole ceremony like?”
I cleared my throat. “Um, well... There’s some sort of speech, usually by the mother of the hood taking rites. The nascent makes a pledge to serve the matron, to protect wolves from the harm of Hueys and Hueys from the harm of wolves, though that part of it is a bunch of hooey if you ask me, because we threaten them so much more. Then the matron of the bloodline presents the nascent with a silver medallion, the group chants some ancient bunch of hoopla no one really knows the meaning of, and the matron pushes the nascent into the fire.”
“Really? Military honors?”
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