by Kira Blakely
“Somehow, I think that’s a come-on.”
Drake laughed again and ran a hand up my right thigh under the water. “Always, but you have to admit that I have a talent with your body.”
“That, I don’t doubt,” I said, my gaze falling out onto the sunset before us on his yacht.
That was also a new addition. Drake was going all out into moving part time to San Diego. He had the penthouse complete with the required and, in my opinion, improved playroom. Drake had also acquired a yacht from a tech guru gone bust that was roughly the size of my parents’ home. We were sitting on the south deck and watching the sun go down. The orange of the waning globe melted into the soft, cotton candy clouds and the pink of the sky.
It was quite the sight, but it paled next to the utter spectacle of the man I loved by my side.
“I know I say this a lot, but this is amazing.”
“You don’t say it that much.” Drake considered that and then shrugged. “Maybe sometimes, but I put a lot of effort into trying to surprise you. I take my mission very seriously.”
“I can tell because you never stop, never fall short.”
“I hope that’s true,” he said, his tone sobering as he leaned back next to me in the hot tub.
“Why do you seem so sad all of a sudden?”
Drake’s jaw clenched, a sure sign of his tension. Readjusting my position, I brought my arms up behind his back and started to rub his shoulders, wanting to massage him to relieve his stress. It genuinely shocked me how tightly coiled he was, how rigid.
“Wow, work must have been rough last week,” I said. “Because you are still knotted up like crazy.”
“I think it’s from right now, actually.”
“Why? This couldn’t be a better day. It’s a dream date, even if I do have a quiz to study for.”
Drake shook his head. “Maybe I shouldn’t have encouraged you to go back to school. I had no idea you were the ultimate type A.”
I kissed his cheek. “You’d seen me actually negotiate on figures and how I’d press you for days. You so knew I was type A. Of course, I worry about grades, totally natural.”
“Or obsessive,” he noted.
“So, it’s not work that has you tied up in knots. What else is it? Did you have a call from home?”
He had a terrible relationship with his parents, even after he had paid off their debts. The salt of the earth farmers were never going to understand that he’d dedicated his life to all that “Hollywood Sodom and Gomorrah.” Still, his dad had recently developed a bit of a gambling problem, so Drake was getting more calls than usual from the Midwest. It left him in a funk.
“God, no. It’s not about my family, not in that way.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “How is it about your family?”
“Belle, do you think about what we’ll do in a year from now or five?”
I blushed and poked at his rib. “I don’t even know if Dear Penthouse can predict that.” Seeing that the joke didn’t ease his tension, I sobered and tried a different tactic. “I guess I’ll get a job when I’m done, actually be of use now to the center in the Bahamas. Why?”
Drake didn’t say anything, but he did slip out from my grasp and hop quickly from the tub. I appreciated that he had not worn a suit. The sight of his penis bobbing free was something to behold. I pushed that flicker of lust away. Now wasn’t the time; something serious was clearly on Drake’s mind.
When he returned, he had a fluffy white bathrobe on and his right hand was balled in a fist at his side. Then he knelt in front of me, and I just knew.
“Belle,” he started, his voice wavering just a little, as if I’d ever say no. “This last year has been the best one of my life, minus a few rough spots.”
I nodded, saying nothing at first but reflecting too over the rough parts in our relationship and over the dangers we’d faced. It hadn’t been easy, not by a long shot, but it had been good.
He held out his arm and popped open the small, black box hidden there. I gasped at the ring, the princess-cut diamond that had to be at least five carats and set in a platinum band. I’d look like a movie star with something that glittery on my finger. Heck, considering the rich and famous he ran with, for all I knew, some director or Hollywood big wig actually had recommended this jeweler and ring type.
So surreal compared to where I was a year ago.
“Belle, I love you. I think I might have loved you from the moment I first saw you. You see all of me—the dark side, that beast and man—and you love me more for it, not less. I don’t want anyone else to be my lover, my partner, or my life. Will you marry me?”
Tears sprang to my eyes as I held out my hand. “Yes, God, a thousand times yes!”
He grinned and slipped the ring on my wedding finger. I stepped out carefully from the hot tub and was grateful when he slipped a terry cloth towel over my shoulders. Now that the sun was almost down, it was growing chilly on the boat, especially with the sea breeze whipping past us.
Reaching down, he stroked—or tried to—my wet curls. “You’re the most amazing woman I know, Belle Fontaine.”
“Well, that happens to even out,” I said. “You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met.” Then I stroked his cheek and looked solemnly into his big brown eyes. We never talked about certain things enough, but tonight I needed to be honest with him, to press where I could. “In fact, you’re a hero.”
Drake looked down, uncomfortable. “No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are,” I said, putting my fingers under his chin and forcing him to look at me. “I know you don’t believe that, and maybe you never will, but you were a hero to give your service, and you’ll always be my hero. You saved my life twice in the first month I met you, threw yourself into danger all for me. That’s not just a hero. To me, that’s a damn superhero.”
“But I—”
I kissed him then, my tongue and body saying everything my words never could, conveying the gratitude and dedication that he would always command from me. Drake was my lover and my hero, and one day soon, my husband.
And that meant the world to me.
BONUS Epilogue
Drake
Eighteen Months Later…
“Baby girl, you’ve done me proud!” Leonard gushed, hugging Belle. “You’re so smart and now you’ve got that diploma to prove it.”
Mrs. Johnson was just as effusive as we settled into the presidential suite at the nicest hotel in Kanagawa. Part of me would appreciate a bit more help with unloading the bags. After all, who worked for who around here? However, I could tell that Mrs. Johnson and Leonard had been holding back for a while. UC San Diego hadn’t allowed Belle to invite anyone who wasn’t immediate family to a crowded graduation. As if blood really mattered. In fact, judging by my parents, that didn’t make much of a difference after all. However, even with every string I’d tried to pull and, okay, threaten out of the board of trustees, Leonard and Mrs. Johnson had to settle for the DVD of the ceremony.
Now that we had some time to rest and relax on our Japanese vacation, they had time to also tell Belle how proud they were of her, to treat her like the puffed-up momma hens they basically were for her.
“I’m serious, Belle,” Mrs. Johnson continued, sitting down next to my fiancée on the sofa and patting her knee. “I only got through junior college. I can’t imagine how hard all the math involved had to be. Algebra was my limit.”
Leonard nodded as he sat down in a nearby chair. “What are your plans now? Do you have a job lined up?”
She blushed. “Actually, I was going to take a year off at least. I want to see more of the world and grad school burned me out. When I’m rested up, I’ll plunge into the job hunt, but I figured it was stupid to be so invested in conservation when I hadn’t even seen enough of the world to know what I wanted to conserve.” She nodded over to me, her sapphire eyes sparkling. “Eventually, I’d love to help run the center in the Bahamas. I did an internship there.”
“And it was hard to get,” I added, pouring myself some sake. “I hear the guy who owns that joint can be a real bastard.”
Mrs. Johnson and Leonard winked at each other before turning and chuckling in my direction. “Agreed!” they said in unison.
Belle giggled into her hands, struggling to hide her face, but failing. Great, even my own fiancée was against me. She’d completely become the third musketeer alongside Penelope and Leonard. Of course, that was a good thing for me. It was best to have a team of people who could and would call you on your shit. Besides, Leonard and Penelope were like the parents I wish I actually had and Belle was my whole world. I’d learned a lot over the last almost three years, and the biggest thing was that the world didn’t matter if you didn’t have a family you loved to share it with you.
No matter how many billions you had.
“Okay, so I walked right into that one,” I said.
Belle grinned and nodded. “Maybe set yourself up a little for that, honey. This is what I want to be doing. I’d love to see the Great Barrier Reef and the Amazon, the whales down in Patagonia and the Dead Sea. It’s like for the first time in a long time I can see any part of the world I want and I want to see all of it. Japan’s just the beginning!”
Mrs. Johnson grinned. “You should think about seeing Nottingham. I was born there years ago. It’s one of the most beautiful cities in England. If you love Robin Hood, you have to go.”
“And men in tights,” I said, draining my drink. “Princess, while you’re planning your world tour, should I have a pen and paper so we make sure that you have every city marked off the list correctly?”
“Well, I liked to dress up for Halloween and pretend to be Maid Marion,” she replied coyly. “That’s definitely a place to add.”
Leonard brought a hand to his chest. “If you want tropical wildlife and variety, don’t be skippin’ Haiti either!”
“All right, then we’ll visit every country Penelope and Leonard have a connection to, check,” I said, winking at them.
“Ooh, say Paris, too!” Mrs. Johnson said. “I haven’t been there since I was in my twenties. I think we should all go there.”
I shook my head. “So, just so I’m clear, we crossed that line from you’re traveling as my servants to just touristing it up with me, right?”
Leonard, Mrs. Johnson, and Belle all shared a look before breaking into wide grins and echoing back at me, “Of course!”
Damn, good thing I had years of military training because I was clearly outnumbered.
***
“I’m so sorry that we had to leave early,” Belle said, leaning over the toilet back at our suite.
I shook my head and handed her a cool glass of water and placed an ice pack on the back of her neck. “It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not,” she said between gasps of air. “I’m ruining our vacation. We’ve only been here a week, and I’m puking my guts out.”
“Only the last two days,” I offered, setting down the ice pack and massaging her back. “It’s probably some bad sushi or squid. You’ve been pretty adventurous with the street food.”
She nodded and leaned against the cool tile of the bathroom wall. “Still, I messed up our sightseeing today. We were eating at that robot-themed restaurant and then I’m suddenly rushing for the porcelain throne. It was so embarrassing. I’m sorry I ruined it.”
I chuckled. “A loud, raucous place with a ton of little kids running around and creepy talking robots. Belle, no one could ruin that place. It’s like something out of Asimov’s nightmares.”
“Well, it sounded cute on the brochure.”
“I think we left about three hours before the little robots overthrew their overlords. Actually, we probably made out well. I don’t look forward to being a robot’s slave. Do you?”
She giggled and a little bit of color started to come back in to her pale cheeks. I pulled her into my arms and stroked her hair. I also took the opportunity to touch the back of my hand to her forehead, to make sure that she didn’t have the flu instead. Her forehead was cool to the touch so it clearly had to be something else. That yakatori had been questionable. Who ate chicken livers off a skewer from a street vendor anyway?
“If they’re cute robots like BB-8 or R2-D2, then it might not be so bad.”
I leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. “You’re adorable.”
“I’m gross.”
“No, you’re always gorgeous, princess,” I said, kissing her cheek. Sweeping her up into my arms, I carried her out of the bathroom and down the hall to the bed in our suite. “Do you need me to send Mrs. Johnson and Leonard out for anything?”
Belle’s eyes went wide, and I wasn’t sure exactly what she was thinking. Her features went back to a more normal expression before she nodded. “I know there’s that tour of the Kawasaki Daishi Heikenji Temple we were going to do. I know you’d been looking forward to that since we got to Kanagawa. You should go. I… can you just call up Mrs. Johnson? I want to talk to her about some things, figure out what medicines I can send her out for, you know?”
I stroked her hair back from her face. “I can always go tomorrow or the day after. It’s not a big deal.”
“You had the temple closed for that time so it’d be quiet and private. You should go. I’ll be okay, really.”
Pausing, I studied her. She was breathing easier and the color was better in her cheeks. Besides, if she were sick, maybe she felt like she needed space, not that I cared if she vomited or not. I just was worried about her health. Honestly, I thought we were past that part of the modesty in our relationship.
“Only if you want me to. Mrs. Johnson will be right up before I go, and Leonard will be waiting down in the complex’s lobby if you need anything. I’ll have my cell with me and on vibrate so you can call, too. I just don’t feel like I should leave you.”
“Drake,” she said, taking my hand. “I know this means a lot to you. Go and see what you want. I feel like I have so much to talk to Mrs. Johnson about and a laundry list to send her out for. It won’t be a big deal.”
Reluctantly, I nodded and kissed her forehead. “All right, baby, but if you need anything…”
She leaned up and kissed my cheek. “I know, honey. Now go.”
***
The temple rose before me, a massive wooden structure with a flared roof, sliding doors, and massive stone steps leading up to its inner sanctum. I didn’t usually lead with my money, but if I hadn’t reserved the space, it would be bustling with tourists buying candy and daruma dolls to enjoy and use as offerings to the Buddha. As it was, while the tourists were gone, the merchants’ wares were still out and I passed rows of rice candy vendors, brilliantly painted paper lanterns, and blown glass orbs decorated with fish and other vibrant animals. It was quiet here, that site of reverence it had to be at night when it was just the monks alone tending their inner sanctum.
I needed that.
Belle hadn’t convinced me yet to try therapy. I’d had what felt like my fill in the VA, and it had all seemed namby pamby bullshit to me. I’d hated the support group the most, couldn’t find any comfort from the other veterans. We were often a bitter, haunted group, and there was nothing that helped me from dwelling in the past. I didn’t want to think about it, but sometimes, even now, even with Belle by my side, the darkness would slip out and try and drag me down with it.
So, about a year ago, I had picked up some martial arts, a bit of karate to try and center myself. I’d learned American-style hand-to-hand in training, but I’d never gone into anything Eastern. But one night after an exceptionally bad nightmare, after seeing Belle’s tormented eyes staring down at me, I knew I needed some kind of a change. She couldn’t be the only thing keeping me anchored. It wasn’t fair to her, and it led her to beat herself up when she couldn’t always help me. She did more for me than anything else had, but I owed it to myself and to her to be better, too, to find whatever helped me be a better person. The karate was good exercise, some
thing I enjoyed interspersed with my regular routine, but it was the meditation and mindfulness I was working hardest to incorporate into my life. Now, I woke up an hour early to go through my daily meditation, and I found it was helping, keeping the beast more at bay.
I wasn’t foolish or dumb enough to think that animal side of me would ever be gone. I’d been through too much trauma for that, but it was getting better, and I had to hold onto that.
Passing into the inner shrine of the temple, I bowed low to the one monk actively praying. Wishing him good health and luck in my best Japanese, I had to smile when he grinned back at me. It was the least I could do, to acknowledge his culture and his mother tongue when I was the one renting out and using his space, so to speak, at least for today.
Finding my own space on the floor, I knelt in position and took long, deep breaths. Before I’d met Belle, I’d hated closing my eyes. It was too easy to be drawn back there, to be thrown mentally back to Iraq and all of the hell I’d endured. Even after our relationship blossomed, I still had trouble. With the mediation it was easier, and I could almost trust I wouldn’t flashback to the jeep, to the desert where I’d lost part of my life and my soul.
Almost.
Today, I’d have to face it, needed to in order to take the next steps in finally moving on.
After half an hour in contemplative prayer, I pulled out a small handkerchief from my pocket. Unfurling the cloth, I eyed the medal in my hand. It wasn’t as big as you’d think. Didn’t weigh anything really. But it had felt heavy, like a chain around my neck that pulled me under, that drove me to insanity.
Sighing, I set my purple heart down on the floor of the temple and finally spoke out loud, even if it was still only at whisper level.
“Martinez… Jones, I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry that I made the call I did that day. I’m sorry that I followed up on that lead. I was trusting my gut and the intel both, but they were wrong. I’d give anything if it had been me that day and not you. I’d give anything if I could take it all back, but we know that’s not how that happened.”