Two women stood across the lawn in deep conversation as they stared toward Jessica.
“Oh, you’re talking about Loretta and Diane. Those two have been chasing my poor brother since high school. I can tell you right now that you don’t have any competition from them.”
Jessica looked at Jillian in disbelief. “No, they have no competition from me. Your brother and I barely know each other. He simply came to the show-and-tell because you and Ryan took Kevin to the station and I guess introduced them. The poor guy was blindsided by my son. I was too.”
“So maybe that was a sign or something. My brother is a great guy who works too much and doesn’t think enough of his own needs right now. He’s given everything he’s got to this town since becoming police chief. And just between you and me, he’s getting a little set in his ways and it’s time for him to settle down. Olivia, Cali, and Shar agree.”
“But I don’t. I’m not ready for a step like that.”
Jillian stared at her with compassion. “Believe me when I tell you that I understand not being ready for a new chapter in your life. Before Christmas, I learned that there’s a very good possibility that I may not be able to have children and I want children so bad. I want to know what it’s like to carry my child, my own baby. But that may not happen.”
Jessica couldn’t believe it. “I am so sorry,” she said.
“Thank you but I’m telling you this to let you know that I wasn’t ready to learn that when I did. And then Ryan walked back into my life and believe me when I tell you we are trying to see if there is a possibility of me carrying our child. But if I don’t conceive over the next year or so, then we will move onto other options. I’m just telling you this even though you losing your husband and me having my situation—they don’t compare apples to apples, but the ordeal that I went through before Ryan and I found each other again is similar. You cope and you move on with your life. When the time is right. That may not make any sense but let’s just say don’t shut your door to possibilities. Leave the light on and see what happens.”
Jessica thought about that all the way home. She had felt like the light had been turned off when Adam died and she wasn’t sure she could turn that light back on just yet.
But obviously Kevin was ready to flip the switch.
They were passing the dog park on the way to the house when Kevin began to bounce in the backseat. She glanced at him in the rearview. “What has got you so excited?”
“Can we take Roscoe to the dog park? He really liked it yesterday.”
“No, you can play with Roscoe in the backyard.”
“Aw, Momma, he can run and play in the big area and he only has that small backyard. He’s a big dog. His legs get cramped. And, and…he, he needs some playtime.”
She glanced back at Kevin again and decided that today maybe they all needed to go to the dog park. She didn’t have the energy to be mom-the-fun-buster today. “Okay, it’s a beautiful day for the dog park.”
Kevin whooped with happiness and barely gave her time to change into jeans and a light sweatshirt when they got back to the house. There was a slight breeze today; the January temperatures were lower than the normal warm temperature that Windswept Bay had most of the year. But it didn’t take them long to get Roscoe loaded into the vehicle, along with her hyper child.
When they got to the park, there were just three other vehicles there. She didn’t really pay them much attention as she parked beside a truck and they got out. Roscoe and Kevin raced through the gate and into the park area ahead of her. It wasn’t until she made it through and was latching the gate that she saw where her son and his dog were headed. Straight to the familiar form of Levi Sinclair. And Jaco.
They stood in the center of the park. Levi held a stick, probably teaching Jaco to play fetch. Jessica groaned even as excitement filled her. It was confusing to say the least.
He saw her and to her surprise, he smiled with genuine pleasure, even after she’d jumped all over him hard the day before.
“Hi, Levi. Are you teaching him to fetch?” Kevin asked. “Roscoe knows how to fetch. Throw the stick for him and he can teach Jaco.” Kevin rattled his sentences off in rapid-fire.
Levi threw the stick. That’s all it took for Roscoe to bound into action as he raced after the stick and Jaco followed. So did Kevin.
“We need to stop meeting like this,” Levi said.
There was a distinct sexiness in his voice that sent a shiver through Jessica.
She wasn’t ready for this, she told herself firmly, as something inside her seemed to un-curl just a little. “I’m truly not stalking you.”
“I know that. Yesterday you were here first. And I am the one who showed up.”
“Oh, that’s right. So how are you and Jaco getting along?” Focusing on the dog was a safe area of conversation.
“I’m not sure yet. He’s not eating real well. I switched foods twice and the second one, he ate a little bit this morning but he’s not eating like I think you should be eating for a dog his size.”
“He’s probably just getting acclimated. What are you feeding him?” She watched the two dogs and her son race after the stick that Kevin had picked up and thrown again.
Levi told her the name of the two different foods that he was feeding Jaco.
“Jaco is almost old enough to eat regular food. I could give you some that we feed Roscoe and you can try that. Roscoe seems to like it a lot.” She wondered what she was doing because him getting the dog food from her would mean he would have to come to her house. But that would be fine.
“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to impose but if you think there’s a chance that Jaco would eat it then I’ll take you up on that offer. I’m worried about him.”
“Then after they play here at the park, you can follow me to the house and I will get you some. We had to get it at the veterinarian’s office and they’re closed today or I would send you there.”
“I’d appreciate that. Other than the food situation, I think he and I will get along. But I am glad that you showed up. He really likes playing with Roscoe and Kevin. We’ve been here for about an hour and he hasn’t shown this much excitement the whole time.”
Jessica’s gaze narrowed. “You’ve been here for an hour?” She thought back to when Kevin had asked to come to the dog park. She glanced at the parking lot, noting that Levi’s truck was very visible from the road as they would’ve passed. She had been set up.
“Yeah, been here for an hour. Why?”
“Nothing. I just—” She paused and decided not to tell him that they had been set up. “Was wondering.”
They started walking now. Levi had to jump out of the way when Kevin raced past, laughing, while both dogs were on his heels. She laughed and felt happiness tumble through her at the sound of Kevin’s joy.
“Have you felt any repercussions from show-and-tell yet?” Levi arched a brow as he slid a glance her way.
“Do you mean things like daggers in my back from females who have heard that the police chief is getting married? If that’s what you’re asking, then yes, I have.” She laughed. “Did you know that you are a very popular guy in Windswept Bay?” She smiled at him, unable to help herself, especially when he grimaced.
“Yeah, I had an incident myself. Plus it was a little embarrassing in class that day at what the kids were saying.” He shook his head. “I’ve been working a lot. I didn’t really think about it that much. Until lately—as in Friday.” He laughed and looked slightly embarrassed.
She liked that about him. It was almost as if he didn’t understand or realize why single women would be upset that a guy like him was getting married—or that they thought he was getting married, she reminded herself.
The having to remind herself of such a thing was a little bit disconcerting.
“So you don’t date?” Why was she asking such a personal question?
“Not much. It’s been a little while since I had a date—several months at least.”
She had no idea why she was talking about this with him other than the fact that it was just nice to be talking to someone…a man. She had conversations with women all the time but other than the few men who taught at her school, it had been a long time since she’d really had a conversation and it felt good. Even if her curiosity was getting in the way.
He looked straight at her. His gaze turned serious, as if she’d just been caught speeding far over the speed limit. It was unsettling.
“I meet women around town all the time…but until now, I haven’t felt the need to pursue anyone.”
Jessica’s pulse pounded, as if she’d just driven over a cliff and her foot was heavy on the gas pedal. She took a step back and glanced toward Kevin and the dogs. “I think we should go play with the dogs and Kevin.” She didn’t wait for him to agree but instead started walking toward her laughing son. She needed something to redirect the conversation because she was almost certain that Levi had just told her he was interested in her. And that was not good. Was it? No—it wasn’t, she told herself firmly.
But she had a problem as she walked. She knew that something had just stirred inside her. Something she hadn’t felt for a very long time: interest.
There was something here, between her and this man. And Jessica didn’t know how to feel about that.
“Momma, watch Jaco get the stick. Roscoe taught him.” Kevin threw the stick as hard as his little six-year-old arms could throw it. The dogs thundered after it and Kevin turned, laughing, to look at her.
Kevin’s face beamed with excitement, more excitement than Jessica had seen in ages. They were treading on dangerous waters. “That’s wonderful.” She struggled to maintain eye contact with him and not to glance at Levi, who had come to stand beside her.
“How did you teach them to do that so fast?” Levi asked.
Kevin shrugged. “It’s easy. I just played with them.”
Levi laughed. “Easy for you, kiddo. That’s amazing. I obviously have a long way to go. I think you must be a dog whisperer or something, kid.” As if truly stunned by what Kevin had accomplished in just a short few minutes, Levi shot a perplexed glance at Jessica. “I can’t get my dog to eat and Kevin has taught him to fetch in under twenty minutes. How?”
Jessica could not help but chuckle. Levi wasn’t kidding. And it was kind of amazing but then Kevin did have a way with dogs, just like his dad had. “He is kind of a dog whisperer, just so you know. Adam was a service dog trainer. He had a way with animals. And though Kevin was only four when his dad died, Kevin had spent most of his life traveling behind his dad as Adam worked with service dogs in our kennel. He had his dad’s gift early on and it was apparent. Dogs respond to him.”
Kevin beamed again. “My daddy taught dogs how to do all kinds of cool stuff. There was a man who had—” Kevin paused, deep in thought. “DTEP. He had DTSP and he had nightmares and he shook a lot sometimes. My dad taught his dog to help him. And the man was all better when his dog would put his head on his knee.”
“The man had PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?” Levi asked.
“Yes, that’s it. I never get it right.” Kevin looked seriously at Levi. “It came from the war.”
“That’s okay,” Levi said, with compassion in his voice. “I think that’s really awesome that your daddy helped men who were in the war.”
“Me too. If he hadn’t died, he would help more. My daddy was like you,” Kevin said, staring earnestly up at Levi. “Police officers help people. My daddy helped people. And I’m going to help people too.”
Jessica’s heart caught. She swallowed hard as she looked from her son to Levi.
Levi’s gaze touched hers briefly before he focused back on Kevin. “I’m sure your daddy would like knowing you’re following in his footsteps.”
“I can’t follow his footsteps because he’s not here now,” Kevin said solemnly. “But I can follow yours.” He smiled. And then spinning away, he ran to the dogs and hugged both of them. Then he picked up the stick and threw it again.
Jessica watched him and she felt Levi beside her doing the same. They watched him in silence for a few moments.
“Are you okay?” Levi asked at last.
“As good as I can be,” she said, hearing the thickness in her voice. “My son has a good heart.”
“It sounds like he gets that from you and his father.”
She looked at him then and felt understanding pass between them. “I like to think so. Adam was the best man I ever knew.” Her voice cracked. “I don’t think I’m as good a person as he was a man.”
“And why do you say that?” Levi asked, disbelief in his tone.
She sniffed. “Because I have to fight being really angry that he died saving someone, and left his own son here to grow up without him.”
She felt horrible saying such a thing but in moments like this, she felt as though her baby needed his daddy so badly. Now Levi knew what a horrible person she was. But maybe that was a good thing. If he realized she wasn’t as good a person as he obviously thought she was, then maybe he would walk away.
And that would be for the best.
Chapter Six
Levi felt an overwhelming need to pull Jessica into his arms and hold her tight, to plant a gentle kiss against her temple and to smooth her hair away from her face so he could try to ease the tension and pain she felt. His heart was touched by these two. And by the man who had died saving another family and in the process left his family behind.
“I think those are probably normal feelings, don’t you?”
She looked away. “Maybe. But I still have them and if it had been me who died, Adam would have probably just been so proud of me for saving lives that he might not have such thoughts.”
Unable to stop himself, he took her arm and gently turned her back so that she faced him. “I think you’re wrong about that. If he’s as good a man as you say and if he loved you as much as I’m sure he did, then he would have hated losing you, no matter what the circumstances were. Those thoughts of yours are wrong. I barely know you and I know this.” He’d known her for three days and known Kevin for four days. But he knew if something were to happen to them tomorrow, he would never forget them. “I know your husband would have been devastated, absolutely no question about it, if he had lost you. Or Kevin.”
She took a deep breath. “Thank you. What must you think of us? It seems that it might appear that my life is falling apart instead of me getting it back together again.”
“Not at all. I’ve seen a lot of loss in my business. Loss, I think, comes in ebbs and flows like the tide. And eventually the tide goes out and it just gently laps back in, but it’s never completely gone and I don’t think anyone wants it to be. My grandma told me after my grandpa died when I was worrying about her because she was crying one day that as his grandson, I missed him terribly but as his wife of sixty years, she missed him more. I understood that even though I was young and she said that her tears had eased but would always come, at least she hoped so, because they meant that my granddaddy had lived and been loved. There’s nothing wrong with that. Didn’t mean she was moving on.”
Jessica took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He could tell she was taking it all in.
“Thank you. I think I understand completely why I received daggers in my back at church this morning and why my classroom reacted so adamantly about how their mothers felt when Kevin started the rumor that you were getting married. It’s not hard to tell that you are a great guy. And you are really holding someone’s happiness at bay every day that you aren’t looking for her.”
He grinned. “All I can say is until the time is right, I’m not forcing the issue. Have
you and Kevin eaten lunch?”
She probably would say no but he asked anyway. The thought of her leaving and going a different direction than him right now was just not something he wanted. He didn’t look any further other than the fact that he wanted to spend more time with her and he wanted her to be his friend. He had a feeling that’s all she had room in her life for right now and that was fine with him. For now.
“I should say no.” She held his gaze. “But lunch sounds good. Though it can be touchy where Kevin is concerned.”
“I understand that. I also understand that you living your life avoiding friendships or holding yourself back from people could be hard. So I’ll be careful.”
“Then lunch sounds fine.”
“Hey, Kevin, are you hungry?”
“Yes,” the kid yelled and raced back in their direction, with the dogs trailing. “Can we have pizza? I’m really hungry for pizza.”
“You’re always hungry for pizza. You’re going to turn into a pepperoni.”
Levi laughed. “It’s a coincidence but I am starving for pizza too.”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “Then I guess pizza it is.”
“Then let’s load up and go grab that pizza.”
He had a feeling this could be messy but right now the day seemed bright and shining.
Lana was waiting in the drop-off lane. It was their morning to work the student drop-off as mothers drove into the school and let the kids out for the day. Her face was bright with open curiosity as Jessica met her on the sidewalk.
“So I heard at the teacher lounge this morning that you were spotted at the pizzeria on Main with none other than Kevin’s future daddy.” She chuckled and then her eyes narrowed. “What is going on?”
“I have no idea, Lana. I think I have lost my blooming mind. You cannot believe everything that happened this weekend.” She told her quickly about meeting Levi at the dog park for the adoption and then Sunday morning at church and then her son setting them up in the dog park to play after he had seen Levi’s truck there on the way home from church. And then her conversation with Levi and that she accepted a lunch date that really wasn’t a date…it was just lunch. Period.
With This Ring (Windswept Bay Book 6) Page 4