by Taylor Lee
Knowing that he was lying, she gave into the dark waters that swallowed her up drowning out everything except the knowledge that first Anthony and now Jake was dead.
~~~
“Lexie, please, drink this. C’mon, hotshot, you need to drink something.” Brady added, “Please, Lexie, at least let me help you wash off this blood.” His voice was pained, “Honey, you’ve got Jake’s blood all over your shirt.”
She shoved Brady’s hand away and continued to stare at the floor. She’d counted all the holes in the acoustical ceiling tiles and was working on the brown spots in the linoleum. It was an old trick she’d learned years ago when the present was too horrifying to bear and she couldn’t physically escape.
Brady’s voice cut through her focused task.
“Lexie, it’s the surgeon.”
She looked up to see the stern man in a knee length white coat standing in front of them. Several other men and one woman in similar garb crowded behind him.
Her chest clenched. Brady grabbed one of her arms in a tight grip, Clint took hold of the other. The three of them rose to their feet.
“I’m Dr. Simpson. You are?”
Brady spoke, “Lt. Colonel Schaefer, Major Morrison, Alexis Beloi, Sgt. Anthony Beloi’s sister.”
The grim grey haired surgeon didn’t waste words. “Folks, I’m not going to sugar coat it. Colonel Gardner is in critical condition. But he is alive. It was touch and go for much of the surgery. At one point, we lost him, but he battled back. He’s as strong a man as I’ve seen. The bullet missed his aorta by less than an inch. It’s a hell of good thing that his assailant missed his mark. With a better aim, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” He peered at Lexie. “I understand it was your knife that brought down the guy who shot him. You saved Col. Gardner’s life, Miss Beloi.”
Ignoring his praise, Lexie was startled at the sound of her voice. She sounded like a wounded animal. “Will he live?”
Dr. Simpson held her gaze.
“The next several hours are critical. We’ll know more then.”
~~~
Three days later, Lexie rested her head on the bed, her hand on his thigh. She hadn’t left his side since they’d moved him from intensive care. To rest his heart, the doctors had put him in a drug induced coma. They’d stopped the drugs several hours ago and expected him to wake up at any moment. According to the surgeons, once he woke, it would be just a matter of time until he was sitting up in bed and even walking with help.
Looking at the pale man lying in the narrow bed, Lexie marveled that he was still beautiful. His three day beard growth highlighted the pallor of his skin, but made him look more gruffly potent, if possible. Even swathed in bulky bandages, with tubes in his chest, IV’s strung to his arm, and sensors attached to every part of his body, he was still powerful, powerful enough to survive an assault that would have been fatal to anyone without his reserves.
The clicks and suction sounds from the various machines underscored the monotonous beeps confirming that his heart was beating strong.
Knowing that he would be awake at any time, Lexie strengthened her resolve. For seventy-two hours, she’d sat by his bedside, leaving only to go to the bathroom. She couldn’t remember the last thing that she ate. She didn’t change out of her blood stained clothes until the doctors confirmed that there was a one hundred percent chance that he would recover.
Looking in the bathroom mirror, she was shocked at her appearance. Her hair fastened in a tight ponytail hung limply down her back. Her eyes took up a third of her face and threatened to take over the rest. The deep hollows in her cheeks put her high cheekbones in sharp relief and accentuated her pallor. If she’d had any pride left, her appearance would have cinched her resolve. But that wasn’t necessary. She knew what she had to do. Now.
What few minutes of sleep her exhausted body grabbed over the last three days were shattered by the ghastly dreams. The images were always the same. Anthony’s tortured corpse flared up in all its hideousness, only to morph into Jake’s blood stained body. The images swirled together until they completed one gruesome whole. When she could no longer tell them apart, she woke with tears streaming down her face soundlessly sobbing into the pillow by his head.
She’d stopped examining her decision. No longer listened to the fierce woman inside her begging her not to be a coward, to be brave, strong. But she’d made up her mind. She couldn’t live with the terror of knowing that at any minute he could lose him. She’d rather live her life numb than face the pain of losing him. For that reason, she had to go.
Brady met her at the door, his eyes dancing with excitement. He grabbed her and whirled her around in a dizzyingly circle.
“I just got the news, hotshot! They said Jake’s gonna wake up any minute. Clint’s on his way and, hell, even Chief Burton is hauling his ass over here to celebrate.’’
As though seeing her face for the first time, Brady grimaced.
“Never thought I’d say this, hotshot, but you look like hell. How about I commandeer one of the staff showers and you go do those things that women do when they say they’ll just take a minute to freshen up.”
Lexie gave him a wan smile.
“I…I can’t Brady. I’m leaving. Take care of him, please.”
Brady reared back, shocked. “What the hell are you talking about, Lexie? What do you mean you’re leaving? Goddammit, Lexie, he’s going to wake up at any minute and the first thing he’s going to ask for is you!”
“I…I know.” She handed Brady a note. “When he does, give him this.”
Ignoring the horror on Brady’s face, she added, “And please, Brady, tell him how much I love him.”
Chapter 34
Master Wan refused to let her practice in the dojo until she started eating. She was shocked at how weak she was. But as she forced herself to eat, little by little she began to regain her strength. By the second week that she was home, she was physically healed, although she still hadn’t regained the ten pounds she’d lost.
The first three days, Brady left three or four messages a day. She deleted them without listening to them. On the fourth day, the message came from Jake’s telephone number. She tried, but couldn’t force herself to delete it. She couldn’t listen to it, either. The next day, a beautiful orchid arrived. She insisted that Madam Juen keep it. The following day, a bunch of pink tulips were delivered to her door. She sent them home with Marybel.
To the delight of her students, each day a messenger arrived at the studio with a gift. Some days it was flowers, other days a note. Several times there was a box. She gave the flowers to the students, but didn’t open any of the boxes or the notes. She knew if she did, she’d lose her resolve. He’d overpower her, shake her resolution. She vowed not to let that happen.
Ignoring the disapproving looks from Madam Juen and the tittering from her students that quickly stopped when she entered the studio, Lexie threw herself into planning the Strong Women Survive celebration. She was determined to present the celebration that was cancelled the day Anthony died. Her students were thrilled. Each day, they came to practice surprising her and surprising themselves with their dedication.
Each night, when all the students were gone, Lexie fled to the studio and immersed herself in hours of long practice. Many times, she didn’t leave until dawn, glad that she could skip the pretense of sleep. The night before the celebration, four weeks after she left Yuma, Master Wan met her in the empty dojo. Before she could begin her practice, he motioned her to sit. He sunk to the floor in front of her.
Lexie drew her protective shield around her. She’d been surprised then grateful that other than insisting she eat, Master Wan had not confronted her about her decision to return home. The quiet expression on his face signaled that her reprieve was over. He smiled at her and bowed.
“Do not look concerned, Jai Li. I do not intend to chastise you or give you any advice. You can relax.”
She breathed easier and returned his bow.
> “Thank you, Master Wan. I appreciate that you respect me enough to acknowledge that whatever I decide to do with my life is my decision.”
She knew her voice was curt, cool, but she couldn’t help but feel defensive.
“Ah, Jai li, it is not respect for you that keeps me from giving you advice. It is the certain knowledge that you are not open to receiving it.”
She frowned, not clear what he was saying, but not willing to pursue it.
“No, Jai Li. If I thought you were willing to listen to me, I would appeal to the young woman who lived in your body before Anthony was killed. The young woman that over the ten years I have known her has battled and survived more demons than anyone I have known in my long years of working with damaged souls. No, I would appeal to that young woman to be clear about her actions. Because you see, Jai Li, unlike the demons you fought in the past that were real, the demons you are fighting now are not. They are figments of your imagination.”
Lexie felt her cheeks heat with a flash of anger. She should have guessed that Master Wan would try and convince her, to shame her, to call her a coward.
She started to rise, but sunk back down at the appearance of his frown.
Refusing to be cowed by his gentle but overwhelming presence, she tossed her head and glared at him.
“Why don’t you say it, Master Wan? Why don’t you say that you think I am a coward, that I’m running away from my problems? Say it! Say what you are thinking!”
He smiled at her.
“I could not say that, Jai Li, because I know that you are not a coward. You are one of the bravest people I know. As for running away from your problems, those are your words, your thoughts, not mine.”
Lexie fought against angry tears.
She whispered, “You don’t understand.”
“Ah, Alexis, my beloved daughter, but I do.”
Lexie looked up in surprise at his use of her given name and endearment. The tears stinging the backs of her eyelids threatened to fall.
“Jai Li, I do understand and I have great faith in you, that when you are ready, you will see the difference between the demons that are real and those that you create in your imagination.”
When she started to protest, he held up his hand. Leaning over, he kissed her on her cheek, then rose gracefully, the movements of a man of twenty not one nearing seventy.
At the doorway, he turned and bowed to her.
“Don’t practice too long tonight, Jai Li. You will have a big day tomorrow.”
~~~
The next afternoon, the studio was buzzing with excitement. Lexie worked with each group of presenters. From the little girls to the older women, their excitement was palpable. So much so that at times she couldn’t hide her exasperation.
“Graciella, for goodness sakes, I know this is a big day, but you have to concentrate, pay attention. You almost knocked Clarice down. Think how that would look on television!”
She shook her head in mock dismay when the little girls just giggled harder. She took a deep breath and decided that she needed a break, someplace quiet, private, where she could prepare for the festivities. Turning the students over to Master Wan, she went to her quarters.
~~~
Grateful for the heat of the steaming shower, she struggled to deal with her rioting emotions. Perhaps the celebration had been a mistake. Perhaps it was too soon. She had hoped that concentrating on preparations for the event would take her mind off the awful events in Yuma. Off of Anthony. Off of Jake. But it hadn’t. Of course, Jake’s daily messages and gifts made it impossible to forget him. He refused to be gone, she thought with a grimace.
Not like Anthony, who was gone.
Lexie stopped cold. Leaning against the shower wall to keep from falling, she allowed herself to think about what she had just said. For a moment, she refused, but then with a sigh, she recognized the truth. Anthony was gone, dead. Jake was not. She pushed down a flutter of annoyance at Master Wan. Damn him, she thought with a wry groan, why did he always have to be so wise.
Stepping out of the shower, she faced herself in the mirror. She was glad that for once she felt like putting on makeup, curling her hair. Tying her hair up in a high ponytail she took several of the orchids Jake had sent that she’d retrieved for her room and wove them into her hair, making it more festive, more fitting for the occasion. Tugging on her stark white fitted halter and matching high cut shorts, she surveyed herself in the mirror. She’d wanted to look special, calm, focused, so everyone would stop fretting about her. She and Master Wan planned to close the celebration with a demonstration of how expert warriors sparred. They’d been practicing together and wanted to give their students a sense of what they could achieve.
Pulling her gi trousers over her costume, she walked into the entry way, surprised that all of the students were already inside. Shrieks of laughter rang from the dojo. Lexie shook her head. So much for settling down. Oh, well, she thought with a smile this was their big day, they had a right to be excited.
As she neared the doorway she heard Clarice yell out, “Now me. It’s my turn, throw me now!”
A deep familiar voice answered, “Why, so it is. And you have been a very patient little girl. What do you think, Clarice? Do you think you can go as high as Graciella did?”
Lexie barely heard Clarice’s answering shriek. “Yes, yes I can. Higher!”
Her legs turning to rubber, Lexie stumbled back against the wall. She struggled to keep from falling. When she’d regained some strength in her legs, she took a tentative step toward the dojo. Grasping the doorway for support, she peeked inside.
Jake looked over his shoulder and called out, “Hello, Lexie. Excuse me for a minute, darlin’, Clarice has been waiting forever for her turn, right, Clarice?”
Lexie watched stunned as Jake tossed the little girl high in the air then caught her in his arms and swooped down low and set her on the mat. The group shouted its approval, clapping loudly and cheering.
The noise in the room was a distant din. Lexie clung to the doorway, feeling faint. She watched him come toward her as if in slow motion. He was taller than she remembered and he definitely was leaner. But he still had the broad shoulders and strong torso that took her breath away. A slight smile tweaked the corner of his mouth, but his eyes were dark, midnight blue, and serious. She struggled to catch her breath, but couldn’t. She gasped when he reached out and took her hands in both of his and pulled her up close to him.
“You’re…you’re here,” she stammered.
“Yeah, Lexie, I am.”
His serious tone sent shivers up her spine. She took a deep breath and clung to his hands for support.
“Are you… okay?”
He pulled her closer, then tipped up her chin and looked deep in her eyes.
“Yeah, darlin’. Now I am.”
At that moment, Niansu rushed in, his eyes wide with excitement.
“They’re here! The TV people are here!”
~~~
Over the next hour, Master Wan and Lexie stood at the side of the dojo bowing to each group before they performed and after. Everything went off as planned, except that Graciella bowed so low that she fell over bringing a shout of welcome laughter from the audience.
When all the groups had performed, Master Wan stepped forward and took the microphone.
“Jai Li and I had planned to demonstrate to our students and all of you what you can achieve if you practice hard and believe in yourself. Unfortunately, I think that I pulled a tendon in my calf this morning.”
Lexie was startled. Master Wan hadn’t said anything to her. Then she saw him wink at Jake.
“However, we have another Kung Fu master with us today. Colonel Jake Gardner, our beloved Anthony’s commander and best friend, has joined us. Jake, may I impose on you to take my place.”
Jake bowed. “It would be an honor, Master Wan.”
Lexie started, then flushed. She hadn’t thought to wonder why Jake was wearing a gi, but now she k
new. She marched over to Master Wan and hissed in his ear.
“You set me up! You knew, didn’t you? How?”
“Ah, Jai Li, Colonel Gardner has been very kind to Madam Juen and me. He called us every day that you were in Yuma to report on your progress and on you. There was no reason to discontinue our daily calls just because you returned. Of course, I knew he would be here. Why wouldn’t he? If Anthony could have come, he would have. Jake could and did.”
Lexie felt her face flame. Tears sprung to her eyes. Before she could answer, Jake tugged on her hand and pulled her to the center of the mat. He leaned down and whispered, “You lead. I’ll follow.”
She managed a watery reply. “That’s a nice change.”
He chuckled and brushed her ear with his lips. “Don’t get too used to it, darlin’.”
Chapter 35
For the next five minutes there wasn’t a sound in the room except for the soft thud of their mutual landings and the gasps of the crowd.
Lexie had never ‘danced’ a Kung Fu match but intuitively this is what she and Jake did. As though they had programmed it, they moved into a synchronous dance that capitalized on their strengths. Lexie flew through the air in double and triple flips and never wondered if Jake would catch her. He always did. They feinted and parried, a virtual pas de deux of Kung Fu postures, with mock takedowns and escapes.
After a stunning series of acrobatic leaps, kicks, and strikes, he whispered, “The finale, darlin’.”
She backed up against the wall and headed toward him, flipping from front to back and to the front again. Jake caught her on the third revolution. He spun in a circle, holding her high in the air staring up at her, then slowly brought her to the floor. They stood for a moment meeting each other’s gaze. Holding hands they turned to the audience and bowed.