‘He fought to save you, Charlotte...to save us all. You honour his memory by living a full life. Give yourself a chance to be happy. You don’t have to love Lord Andrew, but you can still find happiness with him.’
‘I wish Lizzy were here. I wish...’
‘Lizzy will find her own way through this.’
‘She will never speak to me again.’
Their wedding banns weren’t posted in a church and an announcement was not yet placed in the papers. All three letters she had sent Lizzy came back unopened. Did she even know Andrew had asked her to marry him?
‘Have you told her?’ she asked Juliet.
Her sister looked down. ‘She knows you will be married today. She knows that you wanted her here.’
‘But she cannot forgive me.’
There was sadness and pity in Juliet’s eyes as she shook her head. ‘I’ve tried to talk with her about it, but each time I mention your name, she changes the subject. I’m sorry, Charlotte.’
Her heart hung heavy in her chest.
Juliet stood and walked over to her. ‘You have Aunt Clara and me. We love you.’ She kissed Charlotte’s cheek and hugged her tight. ‘This is the beginning of a new life for you. Do not dwell on sad things. Soon you will be Lord Andrew’s wife and you will be a mother. You will have the child you never thought you could have. That in itself makes this a joyful day. I will wait downstairs for you. Lord Andrew’s family have already arrived, as well as Father Vincent. When you are ready, the service can begin.’
With one more crushing hug, Juliet left her alone, closing the door behind her.
Charlotte placed her hands on her stomach to steady her nerves and thought of her child. Andrew had given her this gift, even if he hadn’t intended to. No gift was greater than the child growing inside her. Juliet was right. He was a good man. There were only two of them saying their vows before the vicar. It was time to put away her last reminder of Jonathan. She owed that to Andrew. But it wasn’t easy.
The signet ring that was given to Jonathan by his father was brought back from Belgium by Wellington and he had presented it to her when he called on her to offer her his condolences. She had worn it on a ribbon around her neck ever since. It was the only physical proof she had that he was not returning home. When she first received news he was killed, she thought it had to be a mistake. A man in his position would not have been killed in battle. He was not a foot solider. He was protected. And she waited for his miraculous return. Wellington came to speak with her and gave her the details of how Jonathan had died. But it wasn’t until he gave her Jonathan’s ring that she finally accepted he would never return.
Charlotte looked down at his ring and knew it was time to put it away. With shaky hands, she removed it from around her neck, kissed his ring and placed it in her jewellery box.
It was time to begin her new life.
* * *
Andrew’s eyes shot to the drawing-room doorway the minute Lady Juliet Sommersby entered, and his heart began to pound in his chest. She didn’t bother to look his way, but walked directly to Father Vincent and whispered something in the man’s ear. Had Charlotte left? Had she escaped through her window and taken a carriage north, leaving him to wonder what had happened?
He’d dreamed last night that she had left him and he hadn’t needed to marry her. In the dream, he was searching for her in a dark, thick wood. He could not let her go. It should have been what he wanted. It would have made his life easier. Yet every time he saw movement by the door, he prayed it was Charlotte.
‘It is only her sister,’ Monty said from beside him, adjusting the collar of his tailcoat. ‘You can go back to breathing.’
‘I am breathing. I have been breathing.’
Gabriel’s attention shifted between Monty and Lady Juliet. ‘It has just occurred to me, Montague, that Andrew’s soon-to-be sister is named Juliet.’
Monty was becoming visibly uncomfortable under the scrutiny. ‘So?’
‘So, you’re Montague and she is Juliet.’
‘And you’re an ass.’
‘Wrong play,’ Andrew muttered, keeping his eyes fixed on Lady Juliet who was walking towards him.
‘Yes, I believe that line comes from Much Ado,’ Gabriel said with a laugh.
The conversation stopped when she joined them. There was a shadow of apprehension in her eyes. He didn’t know if it came from approaching the three of them together or at what she was going to have to tell him about Charlotte. All the nervousness he had been feeling when he first woke slipped back to grip him.
‘My sister will be coming down shortly, Lord Andrew.’
Words might have been spoken after that, but all he could focus on was that Charlotte was still upstairs and not on her way out of Town. He could breathe deeper now.
‘Thank you for coming to tell me.’
‘She was having a problem with her dress, but it’s all fixed now.’ Lady Juliet’s hair was brown, where Charlotte’s was black, but he could see the resemblance when she smiled.
* * *
It took seventeen more minutes before Charlotte stopped at the threshold of the room. And when she did, he almost didn’t recognise her. She wasn’t in lavender or in grey. She was wearing yellow, just like the day they had breakfast at Toby’s, and she looked stunning. The silk of her gown shimmered in the muted sunlight and it draped low on her shoulders, exposing her smooth, flawless skin. From the first moment he saw her weeks ago, he had found her tempting. But this version of her, removed from the traces of gloom of the half-mourning she always wore, almost brought him to his knees.
Not caring about what the protocol was, he strode across the room, grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out into the corridor, pushing the drawing-room door closed behind them with his foot. A sense of urgency drove him and he spun her around so that her back was against the wallpapered wall and he was crowding her with his body. Resting his right forearm on the wall above her head, he dropped his gaze from her surprised expression to her shoulders and then settled on her breasts—breasts that were rising and falling along with her rapid breathing. Her lips had him recalling the reckless abandonment of their passionate night together. This attraction he had for her was beyond reason.
‘You look beautiful,’ he said, meeting her watchful gaze.
She placed her right hand on his chest. At first, he thought she would push him away, but then she slid it up to rest it on his shoulder. A scorching trail of fire moved in its wake. Still holding his gaze, she curved her lips into a smile. ‘Thank you. You look very handsome.’
Those pillowy lips called to him, and he lowered his head so their mouths were a few inches apart. ‘I don’t care that people are waiting for us. I need to kiss you.’
He claimed her lips and pushed his body into her soft curves. The kiss was meant to appease his desire—instead the taste of her mouth and the warm, wet softness of her tongue was making him hungry for more. He pressed his forearm harder into the wall, as her hands moved to pull him even closer by the small of his back.
Father Vincent was on the other side of that door, along with members of their families, waiting for them. They were waiting for them to exchange vows so that they could go about the rest of their day, but he didn’t care. They could go on waiting.
This was safer. This was what he and Charlotte knew. This unbridled passion that had been simmering between them ever since they met was what defined them. What would define them when they were husband and wife? It was something he had considered during the last few days and it left him unsettled. He prayed neither of them would come to regret the marriage. After all this, he didn’t regret their night under the stars. And he very well should.
Knowing they couldn’t walk back into the room the least bit dishevelled, he resisted the urge to cup her breasts and broke the kiss. Charlotte blinked a few times as if she, too, needed t
o find a way out of the passionate haze that had settled between them.
Once more, he looked down at her gown. ‘I didn’t think I’d ever see you like this again.’
‘It was time.’
He searched her eyes for regret, but didn’t see any. ‘I thought you might have reconsidered,’ he said, a bit hoarse.
‘Is that why you kissed me?’ It was said in jest, but she might have hit the mark. ‘I’m sorry I kept you waiting.’ Her fingers were drawing small circles on his lower back and he wondered if she was even aware she was doing it.
‘Seeing you like this was worth the wait.’ He never thought she would try to reach out to him like this. He never thought she would stop missing the man she married. Did this mean she had?
‘We should go inside,’ she said with a smile. ‘If we stay out here much longer I fear they will think we have changed our minds.’
‘Or gone to Jackson’s to get married there.’
‘While I’ve never entered an establishment such as that, I confess it does not sound very romantic.’ That familiar blush deepened and spread across her cheeks as if she realised she had referenced this day as a love match and not what it really was.
For her sake, he chose to ignore it. ‘I think it could be,’ he replied in all seriousness.
‘Then I am grateful Lord Montague hadn’t brought the suggestion up before my aunt had offered us her home for the ceremony.’
Stretching out his arm, he gestured down the corridor towards the entrance hall. ‘There still is time. All we need to do is grab the vicar.’
‘And if we arrived in the middle of a match?’
‘Then we would place our bets, make a few quid and get married all in one day.’
‘I truly hope you are joking.’
The wary expression on her face boosted his mood and he gave a snort of laughter, which in turn made her laugh. It was an unexpected thing for both of them to find levity on a day like this—on a day when he should have been finding comfort in a case of brandy.
‘If ladies such as yourself were allowed inside, then I might suggest we leave now to do the deed.’
‘I don’t know if I am relieved or intrigued. What does an establishment where men go to voluntarily beat each other senseless look like?’
‘Some day, I shall tell you.’
‘In detail?’
‘In detail.’
‘I will hold you to that.’ She removed her hands from around his waist and patted his chest, right above his heart, as if she had just realised she had still been holding him. ‘I think it’s time.’
Their lives were about to change. She knew it. He knew it. They couldn’t delay it further.
He held out his arm to her. ‘We shall face this together. The three of us.’
Chapter Eighteen
Father Vincent could have been reciting a list of expenses for running his local parish for all Charlotte knew. Standing in front of the hearth with the fire inside crackling and popping, she couldn’t stop glancing at the man beside her and thinking about the words he said to her.
‘We shall face this together. The three of us.’
The three of us.
This was the first time he had mentioned their child since the day she told him about it—the day he said they should live apart. He stated he would provide for them both and that he intended to visit regularly so the child would know him, but this was the first time he made it sound as though they would be a family. And they would be, regardless of where he lived.
There was no doubt in her mind that when he would be around, he would be a good father. She had watched him with his nephew Nicholas. The six-year-old had even decided he wanted to stand near Andrew’s side during the ceremony, mimicking his uncle’s perfectly erect posture. It might be because Nicolas obviously idolised him, but Andrew didn’t seem to mind his close proximity, and she found that endearing.
The words of the vicar all blended together until it was time for them to recite their vows. The words fell from her lips easier than she had anticipated. Last night she had dreaded reciting them. But today, as she stood beside Andrew—a man whom she did not love, but genuinely liked and respected—the words just tumbled from her lips. The thin gold band she now wore was of his choosing and soon he would leave her to live the life she wanted. She would be able to return to her home, where she could raise their child and try to mend her relationship with Lizzy. That was what she wanted, wasn’t it?
* * *
She was still asking herself that very question, hours later, when she was walking through the small formal garden at the back of her aunt’s house. Even the birds that flew above her in the early evening sky were of no help in finding an answer.
As she strolled slowly back to the house, she spied Andrew standing alone on the terrace, watching her with his arms crossed and his hair tousled by the soft breeze. The night was warm and he was just in his shirtsleeves and black waistcoat, the very picture of relaxed, masculine strength. And the sight of him left her whole body hot and wanting.
He was her husband now. There was no scandal in making love to him and it was her wedding night. Had he come out of the house to find her?
As she made her way up the terrace steps, he silently watched her progress. It wasn’t until she was at his side that he uncrossed his arms.
‘You’ve been out here for over an hour.’
‘I like walking in the evening air. I find it helps me sleep.’
‘I understand you instructed my valet that we would be sharing a bedchamber.’
‘Yes, I thought... I thought—’
Reaching out, he took her left hand and rubbed her gold wedding ring. ‘I do not sleep well. I haven’t for ages. Often times I will wake up in the middle of the night and it will be hours until I can fall back to sleep, if in fact I do. I would hate to disturb your sleep, especially now with the child.’
There were times like this that the circumstance of their marriage was glaringly obvious. They had not married for love. This was about giving their child a name. It would never be a true marriage.
‘Forgive me. It was presumptuous of me.’
He raised her hand and pressed a soft kiss across her knuckles, just above her wedding ring. Her body came to life at the touch of his lips.
‘There is nothing to apologise for, Charlotte. Had you relegated me to the stables, an apology would have been in order, but not now.’
His teasing comment alleviated some of her embarrassment and made her smile. ‘The stables are too far.’
‘How lucky for me.’ He guided her hand to the crook of his arm and they stood side by side staring out into the garden and watched the sky turn a deeper shade of orangey-pink.
‘Did you find a room to your liking?’ she asked, still staring straight ahead because looking at him like this, while they were all alone and she could feel the heat from his body, was making her insides flutter.
‘I have not seen it yet. I told him to place me in a bedchamber next to yours.’
‘Oh.’ It came out on an excited breath.
His warm hand guided her chin gently towards him, and he turned his body so he was facing her. ‘Were you aware that I adore how tall you are?’
‘You do? Why?’
‘So that I do not have to bend down so far to do this.’ He lowered his head, and his soft tongue traced the fullness of her lips.
She opened her mouth to him and their kiss was surprisingly gentle and slow, as if they had all the time in the world together. Which they didn’t—but they did have tonight.
‘We should have checked for lurking gardeners,’ she said in almost a whisper, pressing herself into him.
‘Perhaps we should go upstairs.’ Eyeing her hair, he released one jewelled comb, then the second, and finally the last. They were a wedding gift from him and she adore
d them.
Her hair cascaded down around her shoulders and the heavy weight brushed against her skin as he placed the combs into the pocket of his waistcoat.
‘Are you trying to be scandalous, Andrew?’
‘We are so good at it. I see no reason to stop now.’ His gaze moved over her hair before settling on her eyes. Desire reflected back from the depths of his. Threading the fingers of both his hands into the hair at the back of her head, he took her lips once more. But this time in a more urgent kiss.
She gripped his waistcoat at the small of his back, afraid if she let go she might fall. With every sweep of his tongue, her legs grew weaker and weaker.
‘I’ve had you once outside, it’s time I take you in a proper bed.’ As the sky darkened, she could make out the devilish look in his eyes. He looked dangerous. He looked as though once he got her in bed, they would not be coming out for days.
She released her grip and took a step back. ‘But you don’t know where my bed is, do you?’
Slowly, he shook his head.
She took one more step back to separate them. ‘Then how will you find me?’
Picking up her skirts, she ran for the house with Andrew not far behind. Once she rounded the corner in the entrance hall, she skidded on the slippery marble floor as she made her way for the stairs. If she had any chance of reaching the top before he did, she would have to take the shallow steps two at a time. Luckily her legs were long and she easily made it to the top. The sound of his heavy footfalls behind her had her sprinting towards her bedroom. She wasn’t certain if she was running to reach it first or because she wanted to get them both in her bed as quickly as possible.
Pushing open the door, she was relieved to find the room empty, but the sight before her left her frozen in her tracks. Seconds later, Andrew skidded to a stop behind her. Their heavy breathing mixed together and filled the room.
There were no words that could describe the sight before them of her bed. Or maybe there were too many. Astonishing. Unexpected. Mortifying.
‘Did you have your maid do that?’ he asked with astonishment.
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