by Meg Cabot
I should have known it was going to turn out like this. I should have followed my first instinct, gone straight to Orlando, and just sent a check to help out Mom and Dad. I don’t know what I was thinking.
Okay, I’ve stayed up too late, writing this. Tomorrow I have to get up early to go to the house to finish packing. Also because the girls get up at the crack of dawn, which is apparently what small children do. They like to burst into my room screaming, “Wake up, Uncle Reed! Wake up!”
This is not as delightful as it might sound.
I don’t expect a reply to this. I’m aware that you’re busy with the Expo, and also that I sound like a lunatic. I feel like one. I feel like I’m going slowly insane. I got a huge endorsement deal today (for a pharmaceutical product. You would not approve), and I can’t even be happy about it, because what is the point of having a lot of money if the woman you love (or man, sorry to be gender-specific) doesn’t love you back?
I’ll be glad when this is all over, and I can head off to Florida and play and get this woman (person) out of my system for good.
Although actually it won’t be for good, because I doubt I’ll ever get her out of my system.
Anyway, sorry to burden you with all this. I’m going to bed. Good luck with the Expo. I hope your Phalaenopsis amabilis wins.
Love,
Your Favorite Nephew (although possibly not after you’ve read this),
Reed
Today I feel blessed because:
__________________________
I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t even—
How am I going to look at him tomorrow?
This is all a complete disaster.
How could I have let it happen? I’ve never been one of those people who could do the friends with benefits thing. I tried to do that with Reed, and look what happened.
I have to break up with Graham, that’s all. I have to make it clear once and for all that we’re not compatible and we never were and it’s over. It’s over.
Dear Graham,
I’m so sorry, but
No, that sounds terrible. I have nothing to be sorry for.
Dear Graham,
I’m sure by now you’ve realized that
God, what is wrong with me?
Dear Graham,
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I am no longer going to be able to see you socially, at least not for the next few weeks while I—
get my ex-boyfriend out of my head because all I can think about is jumping his bones.
Oh, my God. I am in so much trouble.
I wish I were a dolphin.
RESTAURANT DROPS CHARGES
BY CHRISTINA MARTINEZ Herald Staff
Bloomville, Ind.—All charges against Judge Richard Stewart and his wife, Constance, for attempting to pay for a meal at Shenanigans Neighborhood Bar and Grill with a postage stamp will be dropped, according to a corporate spokesperson for Shenanigans.
A night manager at a local franchise of the restaurant in Bloomville’s Old Towne Mall will also be transferred, says Felicia Forchette, director of communications at Shenanigans International, Inc.
“Mr. Grubb’s decision was technically the correct one,” said Ms. Forchette when reached by phone late yesterday evening. “However, we expect our managers to be flexible and work with the local community, so we feel Mr. Grubb’s talents could be best utilized elsewhere.”
Forchette denied that the transfer of Randy Grubb, the night manager who insisted on the elderly couple’s prosecution, was punitive, or had anything to do with the arrest or the subsequent boycott of the restaurant launched by Beverly Flowers, 64.
The boycott, which included a protest outside the restaurant that at times grew to number as many as two dozen people, has now been called off. Forchette had no comment when asked if the timing of the chain’s decision had anything to do with St. Patrick’s Day, a traditionally profitable holiday for the corporation.
When contacted for comment on the restaurant’s decision, Flowers said she was “overwhelmed.”
“I’m so pleased, I could cry. I might just have to run over to Shenanigans for a great big Blarney Burger!”
Judge Stewart’s reaction to the news was typically stoic for the well-known man of law:
“Well, that’s good to hear. Real good.”
* * *
* * *
* * *
* * *
* * *
* * *
Summer Hayes
8:15 AM
Hi, Carly! So, I saw the ad in today’s paper for the benefit tonight, and now I just feel so wretched about what I wrote to you earlier this week, I could scream. I had no idea your in-laws were going through all that!
It’s no wonder your little Bailey has been acting out the way she has. I’m surprised, really, that you all have been holding up as well as you have.
My Britney has been collecting canned goods all month to take up to the Mission Ministries in Indy for Easter Sunday, but when I told her how her friend Courtney’s grandparents are in need, she said she’d much rather give her canned goods to them.
Isn’t that sweet? What time would be good for me to drop them by? Or would it be better for me to bring them directly to the benefit?
You hang in there!
Summer
Britney’s Super Mom!
From: Carly [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:05:17 AM EST
To: Reed [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]
Subject: Your Parents
Look at today’s Bloomville Herald. Page 7. LOOK AT IT RIGHT NOW.
Carly R. Stewart | Accountant | Stewart Realty | 801 South Moore Pike, Bloomville, IN 47401 | phone (812) 555-8722 | Please visit StewartRealty.com for all your realty needs
From: Marshall [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:06:05 AM EST
To: Reed [email protected]; Carly [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDGGGGGGEE
From: Marshall [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:07:42 AM EST
To: Reed [email protected]; Carly [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
Reed, why did you tell Rhonda that our parents are broke?
From: Reed [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:10:12 AM EST
To: Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
I didn’t. I swear to God I haven’t spoken to Rhonda since I got here. I have no idea how she could have found out. I’m so, so sorry about this, guys.
But it is kind of awesome, in a way.
From: Carly [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:14:53 AM EST
To: Reed [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
HOW IS IT AWESOME? How is Summer Hayes wanting to drop canned goods off at my in-laws anything but embarrassing and horrible?
Carly R. Stewart | Accountant | Stewart Realty | 801 South Moore Pike, Bloomville, IN 47401 | phone (812) 555-8722 | Please visit StewartRealty.com for all your realty needs
From: Marshall [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:18:17 PM EST
To: Reed [email protected]; Carly [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
He means it’s awesome for him. It’s free press that I’m sure his “people” will be eating up. Didn’t you see the piece on SportsCenter last night about our parents, and how “eccentric” they are? Everyone was making a big deal about how great it is that Reed’s flown here to help them instead of concentrating on improving his swing for the Golden Palm next week.
From: Carly [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:21:25 AM EST
To: Reed [email protected]; Marshall Stewart@StewartRealty.
com
Subject: Re: Your Parents
Uh, no, I did not see that, Marshall. I was too busy making dinner, helping Courtney with her homework, drying the feathers on Bailey’s Chief Massasoit costume—which she insists she’s going to wear tomorrow, by the way—getting Taylor to stop braiding the dog’s hair, and trying not to strangle YOUR FATHER as he told me his latest scheme for how he’s going to strike it rich selling his gavel collection online.
How did YOU have so much time to watch it?
Carly R. Stewart | Accountant | Stewart Realty | 801 South Moore Pike, Bloomville, IN 47401 | phone (812) 555-8722 | Please visit StewartRealty.com for all your realty needs
From: Marshall [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:23:17 PM EST
To: Reed [email protected]; Carly [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
Uh, never mind. That’s not important right now.
The important thing is, Reed is RICHER THAN EVER.
From: Reed [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:25:43 AM EST
To: Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
Look, you guys, can we not fight?
I’ll talk to Rhonda and get her to call it off. I’m sure it’s nothing but a little misunderstanding.
From: Marshall [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:27:04 AM EST
To: Reed [email protected]; Carly [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
Rhonda can’t call it off, Reed. It’s in the paper! Everyone is going to show up at the high school tonight expecting to see Harrison and the Fords play, get their faces painted, donate money to Mom and Dad, and have some pie. It’s Friday night—St. Patrick’s Day—in a small town, not L.A., where people don’t have a lot of different options for their entertainment dollars.
From: Reed [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:30:13 AM EST
To: Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
OK, fine.
But Rhonda doesn’t have to give the proceeds to Richard and Connie. We can get the Judge to go and give a speech about how much he appreciates everyone’s help on his behalf, but that the charges have been dropped—which they obviously didn’t know when they paid for this ad and organized the benefit—so they need to give the money to someone else. Someone who really needs it.
From: Carly [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:35:14 AM EST
To: Reed [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
That’s actually not a bad suggestion. I think your brother may have come up with a pretty reasonable solution to the problem, Marshall.
Carly R. Stewart | Accountant | Stewart Realty | 801 South Moore Pike, Bloomville, IN 47401 | phone (812) 555-8722 | Please visit StewartRealty.com for all your realty needs
From: Reed [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:37:48 AM EST
To: Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
See? No harm, no foul.
From: Trimble Stewart-Antonelli@Stewart&Stewart.com
Date: March 17 9:40:26 AM EST
To: Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]; Reed [email protected]
Cc: Tony [email protected]
Subject: Our Parents
Could someone please explain to me why our former housekeeper is holding a fundraiser to save my parents from financial ruin? And on the same day that the Kiwanis are giving my husband an award for his generous civic contributions to this town?
I thought you people said you were going to handle this problem. I thought you people said you’d TAKE CARE OF IT.
From where I’m sitting, absolutely NOTHING is getting taken care of.
Trimble Stewart-Antonelli
Attorney at Law
Stewart & Stewart, LLC
1911 South Moore Pike
Bloomville, IN 47401
(812) 555-9721
www.stewart&stewart.com
From: Marshall [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:42:15 AM EST
To: Reed [email protected]; Carly [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Parents
Correction, dude: Both harm and foul. As usual, Reed, you spoke too soon.
From: Reed [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:47:03 AM EST
To: Trimble Stewart-Antonelli@Stewart&Stewart.com; Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]
Subject: Re: Our Parents
Take it easy, Trimble. I’m handling this.
From: Trimble Stewart-Antonelli@Stewart&Stewart.com
Date: March 17 9:52:26 AM EST
To: Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]; Reed [email protected]
Cc: Tony [email protected]
Subject: Our Parents
“Take it easy, Trimble”? You’re seriously telling me to take it easy?
How dare you come back to this town after years of doing nothing but causing pain for Mommy and Daddy, then tell ME to take it easy?
You’d better be “handling” this. Because you’re the one who caused it.
Trimble Stewart-Antonelli
Attorney at Law
Stewart & Stewart, LLC
1911 South Moore Pike
Bloomville, IN 47401
(812) 555-9721
www.stewart&stewart.com
From: Reed [email protected]
Date: March 17 9:58:53 AM EST
To: Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]; Trimble Stewart-Antonelli@Stewart&Stewart.com
Subject: Re: Our Parents
I didn’t, actually.
But like I said, I’ll handle it.
From: Trimble Stewart-Antonelli@Stewart&Stewart.com
Date: March 17 10:06:21 AM EST
To: Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]; Reed [email protected]
Cc: Tony [email protected]
Subject: Re: Our Parents
Oh, really? You didn’t cause this by hiring that ex-girlfriend of yours, whatever her name is, to paw through Mommy’s and Daddy’s things? She’s probably been lying to everyone in town that Daddy is broke.
Trimble Stewart-Antonelli
Attorney at Law
Stewart & Stewart, LLC
1911 South Moore Pike
Bloomville, IN 47401
(812) 555-9721
www.stewart&stewart.com
From: Reed [email protected]
Date: March 17 10:10:08 AM EST
To: Trimble Stewart-Antonelli@Stewart&Stewart.com; Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]
Subject: Re: Our parents
First of all, her name is Becky, as you know perfectly well.
Second of all, she would never do that. She has the strongest sense of professional ethics of anyone I’ve ever met. Trust me, I know.
And third, it isn’t a lie. The Judge is broke.
From: Trimble Stewart-Antonelli@Stewart&Stewart.com
Date: March 17 10:17:28 AM EST
To: Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]; Reed [email protected]
Subject: Re: Our Parents
Mommy and Daddy may be having cash flow problems at the moment, but in this economy, who isn’t?
And don’t you think it’s a little coincidental that Rhonda is the one throwing this fundraiser, and Rhonda is also the one who was named in the paper as having attended the boycott against Shenanigans that was organized by Becky’s mother?
She obviou
sly heard some things there from Mrs. Flowers, who could only have heard them from Becky. Mrs. Flowers works at Moving Up!
And Becky’s sister, Nicki, or whatever her name is, dates a cop. The fundraiser is being co-sponsored by the Bloomville PD.
How stupid can you people be?
Trimble Stewart-Antonelli
Attorney at Law
Stewart & Stewart, LLC
1911 South Moore Pike
Bloomville, IN 47401
(812) 555-9721
www.stewart&stewart.com
From: Marshall [email protected]
Date: March 17 10:20:08 AM EST
To: Carly [email protected]; Reed [email protected]
Subject: Re: Our Parents
Sorry, Reed. Trimble’s right. This isn’t looking very good for your girl.
From: Reed [email protected]
Date: March 17 10:22:52 AM EST
To: Trimble Stewart-Antonelli@Stewart&Stewart.com; Carly [email protected]; Marshall [email protected]
Subject: Re: Our parents
Sorry to burst your bubble, guys, but it’s not possible. I didn’t mention anything to Becky about Richard and Connie being broke until yesterday, so she couldn’t have told her mom before that.
Rhonda had to have started organizing this fundraiser at least the day before yesterday, even if only to buy the ad space in the newspaper.
From: Carly [email protected]
Date: March 17 10:25:17 AM EST
To: Trimble Stewart-Antonelli@Stewart&Stewart.com; Marshall [email protected]; Reed [email protected]
Subject: Re: Our Parents
Reed’s right. Marshall, you know we have to reserve ad space in the Herald 48 hours in advance.
And for Rhonda to have reserved the gym at the high school for her event? She had to have done that Tuesday, at the earliest.
And Becky hadn’t even agreed to work for us at that point.
Carly R. Stewart | Accountant | Stewart Realty | 801 South Moore Pike, Bloomville, IN 47401 | phone (812) 555-8722 | Please visit StewartRealty.com for all your realty needs