"She seemed like a lot of fun, though she did seem a little disappointed that Jay and his minions weren't here. Did she think they'd all be hanging around shirtless, working up a sweat while we were showing the place? Though now that I think about it, that would be a good sales gimmick. Do you think Jay and his bros would go for it?"
"I can't see Jack strutting around shirtless to sell houses," Lacey said wryly.
"Why not? It certainly worked with you when I took you out to his lair," Serena teased.
"I knew it. You planned that, didn't you?"
"Not the shirtless part, but I suspected he'd be wearing the Oscar the Grouch T-shirt because I told him not to."
"You're diabolical. That shirt is obscene. It should have been turned into rags years ago."
"What can I say? Jack is about as far from a metrosexual as a guy can get. His wardrobe is limited to that shirt and about a dozen plaid work shirts. I don't think he owns anything else."
"Really? He was wearing a tie when I saw him the other day?"
Serena snorted. "What? A tie? You've got to be kidding. He didn't even wear a tie to their funeral." Her eyes grew big as she realized what she'd just said. She quickly tried to cover. "His dad's funeral, I mean."
"It's okay. He told me about his wife. You don't need to keep it a secret anymore."
"Ahh, Lacey. It wasn't actually a secret. I just thought it should come from him."
"That's what I told him. But he'd assumed that you'd told me months ago, so he mentioned it very casually right after we, you know, consummated our relationship."
"Wow. I'm glad you guys finally got down to business. Bloody well time. Tension was getting thicker than tar around you two. But talking about his dead wife after doing it? Talk about a mood killer. How did you take it?"
"Not well. Not well at all. I think I may have screwed up. Royally."
"So, that's why you're here, checking out an Open House on your own home rather than holed up in a motel room with Jack, getting rug burns on your ass?"
"Yeah. I told him I needed some time to work through all this, and he turned into Frosty the Snowman with attitude and took off. I just meant a day or two. Now I'm totally confused. And I should be talking to him, but he's not a big talker. At least not about serious stuff. And I'm not even sure that he wants me anymore...." Lacey trailed off and looked at Serena morosely.
"First, come over here and sit down," Serena patted one of the bar stools pulled up to the island and gave Lacey's shoulder a squeeze as she sat down. Serena took the seat across from her and studied her friend for a second. "Now, what makes you think he doesn't want you anymore? Because I gotta tell you, it was pretty obvious to just about everyone that he wanted you bad over the past several months, and I can't see that going away over one little misunderstanding."
"But it happened after we had sex," Lacey said, gesturing toward the end of the countertop where her and Jack had done the deed.
"Ewwww," Serena said, wrinkling her nose in distaste. "I ate my lunch there earlier."
Lacey blushed madly. "It's clean. I swear. But you know what I mean. There was so much build-up. Maybe the real thing was a letdown and he lost interest."
"I still can't believe you had sex for the first time here. Not even in a bed? You guys were serious when you said you were waiting until after the cottage was done, weren't you? I think the last coat of paint is still drying. Damn. Who knew old Jack had it in him? Or in this case, in you."
"Serena, focus. Do you think Jack is using my reaction to his past as an excuse because he doesn't want me anymore."
"Absolutely not. Jack's not like that. If he just wanted sex, he could have gotten it any number of places while you guys were stupidly abstaining from jumping each other's bones. And he didn't. He wouldn't. Even with Deborah, he was as faithful as a neutered beaten dog. Probably not the best metaphor in this case, but you get the point."
"Okay then, but what's with the deep freeze?. He looked right through me when he left here the other day. The timing makes it seem like he got what he wanted and now I've given him the perfect alibi to move on."
"Lacey. That's ridiculous. Jack built you a house. He took a huge financial hit on all the extras he put in. Why would he do that if he was just looking to bang you and move on? Jack doesn't need to do that to get laid. Any one of my friends would take him for a ride for free, believe me." Serena paused and rubbed her stomach. "And just for the record, talking about my cousin's sex life is making me a little queasy."
"I know. I'm sorry. I should be dealing with him directly. But I really don't think he'll talk about this with me. He isn't big on the whole communication thing."
"And can you live with that?" Serena asked, suddenly very serious.
"I don't know. If this is going to turn into something other than a fling, we're going to have to talk about something other than how much we want each other, right?"
"Well, Hell, that sounds like a pretty good start to me. Better than a lot of people have, don't you think?"
"God. I hope not. How depressing. But I can't help but think that we're supposed to confront his feelings about his wife's death, and how awful their relationship was in order to move past it. Isn't that what we're supposed to do? I'm sure Oprah would agree, don't you think?"
Serena whistled. "You mean, he actually talked about how it was with her? The way she treated him?"
Lacey nodded. "He said she never wanted him and that he disappointed her every day of their marriage. And he called her a bitch right before the accident happened."
"Wow. That's total disclosure for Jack. You have no idea. And I had no clue about the bitch thing. Though she was a world class one."
"Did you know her very well?"
"I don't think anyone knew Deborah really well. Including Jack, and they were married for nine very long years. She wasn't exactly an open book. But, yeah. I knew her."
"I feel like I'm prying. This is such a hot button topic with Jack, I don't want to upset him by asking about her. But I'm really curious. What was the problem between them, do you think? I mean, besides her being gay."
"Holy shit. He really did tell you everything then. Jack never said a word about her being into chicks. No one even knew about that until her girlfriend showed up at the funeral, all distraught and blaming him. It was a very ugly scene. Like out of some soap opera. But Jack was completely cool about it. Everyone was really impressed, until it became obvious that he was able to stay so calm because he was completely shut down. All normal human reactions were just gone. No emotions. Just a void where Jack used to be."
"That's kind of how he was when he left here the other day. So cold and distant."
"Yeah. That does seem to be his go-to move now. It wasn't always. He used to be really warm and even sweet. So, I think he'll snap out of it and be ready to kiss and make-up in no time. He was showing such promising signs of humanity when you were around. Given the circumstances, I guess he was bound to have a relapse. I'd hate to see him give up so easily. But are you sure you're up to this? I mean, if you're uncertain then it's really better if you get out now. Jack's been through enough already without being with another woman who isn't really into him."
"Was that how it was? She married someone she wasn't attracted to, so she made his life hell? Why not just leave? I don't get it."
Serena sighed. "It's a mystery. But I gather that she came from a very conservative , upscale family, who expected her to marry some tight ass and live a very traditional, boring life. I think she met Jack when she was in some kind of rebellious phase because her family was horrified that she chose a man who works with his hands for a living. No one from her side even came to the wedding. It was awful."
"Okay, so clearly they made a mistake. Why didn't Jack get out?"
"Good question. Probably because he thought he could make it work. He's incredibly stubborn and loves a challenge more than anything. His dad was really hard on him, so proving people wrong just motivates him. And everyo
ne was always telling him that Deborah wasn't right for him. I think that just aggravated the situation. Plus, I think he felt sorry for her. Her family had pretty much disowned her, and she didn't have a lot of friends. She'd be almost totally alone in the world if he abandoned her."
"So, you don't think he loved her?"
Serena looked down at her folded hands for a moment and contemplated Lacey's question. "I really don't know. He never said a bad word about her, and would defend her if anyone criticized her, but love? I don't think so. He certainly cared for her and wanted to make her happy, but I can't say I ever saw any real affection or heat between them. Not even in the beginning."
"Wow. That's so sad. I can't imagine Jack being content with that."
"Hey, no one knows what goes on in a marriage except the two people involved. But I can safely say that he really tried to make it work. Look at that house he built her."
"The white one out in the woods?"
"Yup. That was a fifth anniversary present for her. As a surprise. And she hated it."
"Hated it? How could she hate it. It's gorgeous. At least from the outside."
"But, you see, it's in the middle of nowhere. She scoffed at it when he showed it to her. Called it a cabin, despite the fact that it's a bloody mansion. She hated being around his family, so he built their home as far away as possible. And she hated that too. Now, he's stuck with it."
"Couldn't he sell it?"
"I don't know. Maybe. There must be someone else out there who would like to live in a mausoleum. Count Dracula, perhaps?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's white from top to bottom. And filled with marble and tile. I imagine it would be like living in the world's nicest igloo. Deborah had a lot of allergies, so wood floors and carpet weren't possible. That icehouse was customized, just for her, and she mocked him for it."
"Surely Jack could renovate it and unload it."
"Yeah. But that would mean having to walk through that front door and I don't think he's done that since the funeral."
"What? Where has he been living?"
"Well, now that I picked out some furniture for him he lives in the cottage behind that house. But until four months ago, he was pretty much homeless. Just camping on couches for months on end. Pretty weird for a guy who builds homes for a living."
"I had no idea."
"How could you? It's not exactly typical.And I don't want you to think I'm gossiping about him. I'm telling you this stuff, so maybe you'll understand how bad it was with him and understand if he retreats occasionally and acts like a complete dick-wad. For awhile it looked like he wasn't going to bounce back, and then you walked into that Open House, and it was like my cousin was back. Just like that." Selena snapped her fingers to demonstrate.
"I don't understand. Why me? Women must throw themselves at him all the time."
"Who knows? Maybe you just came along at the right time. Or your chemistry was just right. Or perhaps fate or whatever brought you together because you're meant to be. Regardless, what do you want? And how are you going to fix whatever has gone off the rails with Jay? And do you want to fix it?"
Lacey rubbed her temples with her fingertips. "I think I want to fix it. But how do I go about doing that? Do I call him up, ask him on a date and just keep things light and pretend the whole Deborah thing never happened, or do I attempt to force him to talk about it so we can bury the past and move on."
"Definitely an emphatic "NO" to scenario number two. In case you haven't noticed, Jack is never going to be one of those sensitive modern males who enjoys talking about his feelings. You are barking up the wrong Tarzan if that 's what you expect."
"Maybe so, but I can't just ignore it either."
"Why not?"
"Well, because we're supposed to talk to each other." Lacey stared at her friend incredulously. Was Serena serious? Could she avoid all the nastiness of his past and just focus on the future?
"If you really want my opinion. You do, right?"
"Absolutely. I'm totally out of my element here."
"Well, then. I think you have to let things happen naturally. Just relax. Get to know each other, and maybe he'll feel comfortable enough to talk about Deborah. But maybe not. Sometimes we have to make our own rules and not go by what the world and Oprah tells us we need to do."
"So, I'm wrong to want to hash this all out?"
"Not wrong exactly. I think it's great that you want to help get him over what happened, but if talking about it turns him into the Tin-man, then maybe you should give it a rest until he wants to open up."
"I don't know. It seems too easy."
"Listen. It's going to take some patience, but I swear Jack is worth the trouble. Underneath it all, he's the best man I know. Just a little damaged. And who isn't really? His issues are just a little more obvious than the rest of ours." Serena looked out the window wistfully for a moment, staring at the landscaping for a moment. "Some guys seem great, but are way more twisted than you expected."
Lacey looked at her for a moment, puzzled. Who was Serena talking about exactly? Obviously, her friend had some experience dealing with guys with issues. Maybe she should listen to her.
"Alright. I'll give the whole 'complete denial' approach a try," Lacey said, pulling Serena's attention away from the empty yard. "I'll arrange to meet him somewhere, but if his doppelganger, Mr. Freeze shows up, I am pulling the plug on this operation. Okay?"
Serena patted her hand and focused on her friend once again. "I don't think you'll regret it. Just stay off the granite, okay? I don't want that image in my head while I'm giving tours."
Chapter Eight
"Lacey? Are you here?" Jack called, cautiously entering her new home using the set of keys he hadn't given her yet. He set the key-ring on the fireplace mantle and looked around. Lacey was moving in. It was starting to look like someone lived here. He could see there were glasses in the glass-fronted kitchen cupboards, and Charlie's bowl was sitting beside the island. From where he was standing, he could see into the bedroom and what looked like a king-sized bed taking up a large portion of one wall.
He'd spent practically everyday here for the last five months, but after his confession he felt a little uneasy just walking around like he belonged there. He'd been trying to figure out a reason to come by that wouldn't seem too desperate, but Lacey had saved him the trouble by sending him a text. She wanted him to check out a problem with the tile in the bathroom, so he came right away. It wasn't actually his job at this point, but it offered the perfect excuse. Maybe it would be a chance for them to work through their issues.
"Lace?" He called again. But there wasn't any answer. He thought he heard something that sounded like off key singing coming from the bathroom, so he went in that direction. He knocked on the bathroom door, but still no response. Slowly, to avoid startling her, he slid open the unlocked door a crack and looked inside. The tub was on the far side of the huge bathroom, so he couldn't actually see her, but her reflection in the elaborate mirror over the double sinks was clear enough.
She and Mr. Bubbles were taking a soak together. In the dimness of the candlelight he couldn't make out any of the details, but he assumed she was naked underneath all that froth. He became hard instantly, imagining her all slick and wet beneath the warm water. It was the fantasy she'd mentioned in the parking lot of the Daily Grind. The image of her, covered only in bubbles, in her apartment's tiny tub had been haunting him since they made that stupid pact five months ago. But now it was actually happening. Better yet, he knew this tub was big enough to accommodate both of them with ease. He'd picked it out specifically with this scenario in mind. Now, if only she could look past all his baggage and omissions, maybe they could move forward and have an actual relationship. Getting in that tub with her seemed like a great start.
Taking a deep breath, he took off his shirt and toed off his boots. He thought about stripping down completely, but decided that it might look a little creepy, strutting in there with h
is cock waving in the breeze, so he left his jeans on and knocked loudly on the partially opened door. Her barely recognizable version of "The Way You Make Me Feel," by MJ stopped abruptly and he heard water splashing as she reached for the iPod sitting on the edge of the tub. Sliding open the door completely, he stepped into the room and tried to look casual as Lacey sat up in the water.
"Jack, that was quick. I just sent you that text a few minutes ago." Lacey said, trying to cover her bobbing breasts with a washcloth. Actually, she had been lying in the tub waiting for him for a half hour. If he looked closely he'd see her toes were pruning. She had been considering getting out and greeting him in a towel when she'd seen him out in the hallway, stripping. Nothing could have made her happier than seeing the silhouette of his gorgeous body shown in sharp relief by the light from the kitchen.
Her intention had been to stand up proudly, and boldly suggest he get in the tub with her, but she just couldn't do it. After his coldness the other day her natural tendency was to cover up as much as possible of her body, and pretend she actually wanted him to check out her tile. That had been a ruse too. The tile and everything else in her new home was perfect. The only flawed item here was her. She couldn't be the bold seductress she wanted to be, and didn't think Jack was capable of moving past his own insecurities to act on his desires either. If he still even wanted her after their last conversation.
She felt her heart plummet as she realized they may be at an impasse if one of them couldn't be the aggressor. And that would be tragic since she was pretty sure she was completely in love with him and desperately wanted to show him that she could be exactly what he needed. If he gave her a chance. She pulled some of the bubbles closer around her, but the action just seemed to highlight her breasts rather than cover them.
She shouldn't have bothered. Her nipples were hard in the cool air above the water and the wet cotton displayed them more provocatively than the most risque lingerie. Jack could not wait to taste them, but didn't think she'd appreciate it if he just jumped in and started licking her breasts. But then again, why not? She hadn't screamed and demanded he get out, so why not just go for it for a change?
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