“Shit. I’ve never done anything with her. I promise,” he expresses with strong eye contact, looking deep into my eyes. I can see very clearly that he wants me to know he hasn’t touched her. The question is, why?
“Why not?” Blinking my eyes and pinching my bottom lip with my teeth. I mean, come on, how many guys turn down sex from a good looking girl?
“She’s been with Parker. We don’t mess with the same girls.”
“Oh.” I cover his hand with mine. .
“This is all new to me, B.” My heart squeezes as he caresses my face and pulls me in close to his.
Looking directly into those brown eyes, I admit, “I know,” before placing my lips up to his. I do believe he will try to be good to me. I just wonder if it will be enough. A guy like Colt doesn’t change overnight, and I am not naive enough to think so.
Not anymore.
Colt
“How are you adjusting to being home again?” Her innocent eyes look into my own, that I’m sure, are now reflecting pain. She’s cautious about her question as her fingers entwine with mine. It’s such a simple question for most people. The kind of people who didn’t lose their mom six months ago…
“I try not to think about it, and honestly, I don’t want to talk about it.” My answer comes out soft but with an edge. I can’t talk about her without the raw ache crashing back into my chest. Ripping me apart from the inside, until I’m hollow, feeling nothing.
My mom was my biggest fan. She was at every competition. Maybe that’s why I ran to every competition I could. Maybe, just maybe, I would feel her presence again. I know she’s always with me and all that bullshit. Even though I feel closer to her when I ride, she wasn’t there the way I needed her. The number one person in my life was gone.
“Okay.” Her voice is small, and I feel remorse for being agitated with her question.
“I just can’t.” My voice is tight. Will the pain ever numb? Maybe this is the start of depression. My mom suffered from it, will I?
If I start to think about it all, I’ll break down. If I break down, I can’t be the man who deserves Brealynn. I will fall back into old habits, and for once, I don’t want that. I have no idea what I’m doing here with her. She deserves someone so much better than the person I could ever be, but I don’t want to let her slip through my fingers. There’s something about her. Something that makes me want to be a better person. Call me a selfish prick, but I want her.
I want her more than anything.
“I want you to belong to me, B. If you do, there will be no kissing other guys, especially ones who are sitting on benches with you.” Silence falls over us and at this point, I lean in slowly placing a kiss on her lips, which instantly lifts the pain that was squeezing on my soul.
On a breath, after my lips leave hers, she promises, “I’m yours.”
And my world settles around her.
Brealynn
It felt good to get everything off my chest and for Colt to know all the drama with Nick. Even the mention of his name makes me want to puke. When I asked him about being back in town, his eyes darkened into a bottomless pit of sadness. I could see the blade of pain slicing through him, and I wish I could help ease it for him. When death takes someone from you, no matter how much we wish someone could help the ache, no one can. It’s designed specifically for that person.
The BMX Ride or Run competition is local during this stage. If Colt or Parker place, they will advance to the finals, which are over Spring Break. I’m anxious to see him do what he loves. When Colt talks about riding, his eyes have this far-off expression, like he is completely consumed by the love he has for the sport.
I wonder if he could love me like that?
“So, I ran into Parker last night. He asked me out; can you believe that?” Annoyance laces Kelsey’s voice. Wheels dropping onto the ramps and scraping against the wood fills the air around us.
Actually, I can believe that.
“What did you say?” I ask as we find our way to the VIP area at the event. It’s reserved for friends and family only.
People of all ages crowd the venue for this event while Tim, Kelsey, and I push and shove to find our places. Once we pass the rope separating us from the general admission crowd, I scan my surroundings. Loud rock music blares from the sound system, people mingle around in their own cliques, and ramps and jumps occupy the space directly in front of me. This is where Colt and Parker will do their run. New wood from the freshly built ramps wafts in the air tickling my nose.
We’re so close.
“I just walked away.”
“Be careful,” I warn her. All the times I’ve had to deal with Parker, he’s been a complete asshole, or he is hitting on me and anything else that moves. I don’t want my best friend with the likes of him. Not if I can help it, anyway.
“I’ll dick punch him if he tries anything. The last I checked, it wasn’t quick fuck season.” We both laugh as Savannah and Hannah walk up to our section.
“What’s so funny? Do I have toilet paper on my shoe or something?” Savannah checks her shoes and stands beside Kelsey.
“Parker asked me out last night.”
“He’s sexy as sin!” Savannah declares with a dreamy smile.
“And a complete douchebag. Just ask Brea,” Kelsey adds.
“How long did y’all date? I mean, does the ‘besties before testies’ rule come into play here?” Hannah asks.
“We didn’t.”
“Oh well, I hear he is a real man whore. Worse than Col-” Her sentence drops off and she stares at me. “Whoops, I mean I just heard … Anyway, Kelsey, you don’t want that drama.”
My stomach drops at her statement while I fake a tight smile, trying to conceal my emotions. I hate his reputation, but I can’t hold it against him now. That’s not fair. He is trying, and that’s all I can ask for. Well, that’s what I convince myself anyway.
I’ve heard all about Colt and his man-whore ways, but something in his eyes tells me that maybe I can be different. Or maybe it’s my own hope I see reflected.
“Parker is the last name on my ‘to do’ list,” Kelsey adds as Parker and Colt come walking up to us.
Dressed in light wash jeans with one pant leg rolled up over his ankle paired with a white and orange TBX shirt, Colt loosely holds his helmet down at his side. Parker looks good as well but nothing like my rider.
Sigh.
“Who’s the last name on your ‘to do’ list, sweetness?” Parker questions, a look of amusement on his face as he throws his arm around Kelsey’s shoulders.
“Could you not touch me? Thanks.” She shrugs out of his arms with a fake look of disgust.
“One of these days soon, you’ll be begging me to touch you,” Parker says with a smirk all too much like Colt’s.
“Don’t hold your breath. Actually, yes, maybe you should hold your breath,” Kelsey tells him. They continue to banter back and forth.
“I just wanted to get a kiss from my girl before we start.” Colt wraps me in his embrace. “I didn’t know Kelsey wanted to jump my brother or I would have not brought him over,” he jokes, placing his smiling lips against mine.
“I do not!” Kelsey throws her hands up in the air, causing Colt and me to separate from our kiss due to laughter.
“Hey, I’m just trying to be a good friend. You know, no vagina blocking and all,” Colt continues teasing Kelsey. I love seeing him in this environment; he is so carefree.
“What am I going to do with you Taylor boys?” I question with humor in my voice as I place my hands on my hips.
“I can name a few things,” Colt’s low, seductive voice rumbles. His stare pins me with desire, igniting flames deep within me as he grabs for my hand.
“So can I,” Alex announces as she saunters under the rope and over to our group, effectively pissing me off.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Leveling my gaze on hers, I stand my ground.
She runs a finger over Colt’s shoulders
as she passes him. “Oh, just thought I would bring Nick to the game. You know, to see the competition.”
I catch her double meaning and she needs to take her hands off my man. Fire lights through my veins, but it isn’t the same as the flame Colt ignites. No, this one is fueled by hate.
“You’re just a full bag of crazy, aren’t you?” Kelsey tilts her head to the side, assessing Alex as she walks to protectively stand closer to me.
“If you brought someone, where is he?” Savannah adds with disbelief.
“I’m right here,” Nick voices and my whole body painfully freezes for a split second. I don’t like having Nick here. Not one damn bit. I quickly recover and look to my right to see Colt staring daggers at Nick.
“What’s been up, man? I haven’t seen you since you fucked Emily on my laundry room floor!” Parker slaps Nick on the shoulder laughing. I however don’t. I am too busy watching Colt and his reactions. He still hasn’t moved a muscle. I can see the tick in his jaw, and I know this is crazy, but I can feel his adrenaline pumping through his veins. Nick needs to leave, now.
“I think you and Alex should find another place to watch the comp,” Colt’s deep voice rumbles through our crowd.
“What does it matter to you where we are?” Nick questions, stepping closer to Colt but still at a safe distance as he takes a defensive stand.
“Because I don’t want you here, Nick. Why are you here with Alex anyway?” As I finish my question, Colt looks over at me. When his pissed off eyes land on me, my breath catches in my throat. The anger isn’t toward me, but it still causes me to pause.
“We’re fucking, but you already knew that,” Nick replies with a shitty smile. Just a few days ago, he was telling me that he loved me and wanted to work things out, but he is still fucking Alex. A semi crashes into my brain, leaving a throbbing headache in its place. Angry tears threaten to surface at my frustration level with these two fuck buddies.
“Does that bother you?” Colt asks as his eyes narrow in on me, and I swear I nearly fall out right there. The anger rolling off him is intense; mixing with all the hostility I feel, it’s not a good combination. My stomach begins to churn and all of a sudden it feels too hot and too cold all at the same time.
“Of course, it does. She loves me,” Nick states like it's public knowledge.
I can’t breathe. My lungs aren’t working effectively with my words. I don’t love you! I scream in my head.
“She doesn’t fucking love you,” Kelsey spits.
My world is spinning. Literally, I think I may fucking pass out. I can’t believe this is happening right now. Colt fades as my eyes shut me in blackness. Falling to the ground, Kelsey catches my landing.
“Fucking hell, look what you jackasses have done. Go the fuck on! Get out of here. All of you!” I hear her exclaim as I start coming back to reality.
Colt is bent down at my side with my face in his hands. “B. Look at me. You okay?” Colt’s worried expression pulls at my heart.
I slowly start to sit up and turn to look up at Nick with fire in my eyes. “I don’t fucking love you,” I state with resolve and full of disgust.
Colt
Kelsey took Brealynn back to the dorms. I didn’t want her to be here with that fuckin’ tool of an ex. It took everything in my being not to rip his throat out. The possessiveness I already feel for Brealynn scares me shitless, but I’ll be damned if he comes back into her life before I have a chance to explore what we have.
Parker pulled me into the box right before it was my turn to ride. I didn’t want to let Brealynn go, but this is my life. Riding makes my blood pump and gives me a reason to get up every day.
When Parker and I were little, it was all we had. Tossed outside without anything else to do, we picked up our bikes and began exploring what we could do with them. We didn’t know that what we were doing was a sport. Not until a few years later, when we convinced our dad to pay some attention to us.
A couple of years after our talents caught his attention, our dad decided to start up Taylor Bicycle Cross, TBX the X standing for cross, selling bikes, clothes, and accessories with our TBX logo. He is the sole owner of the company until Parker and I finish college. That’s the only reason I’m still going to school.
Parker and I placed in the competition, so we will be advancing to the finals in just about a week. It falls over Spring Break in Florida. Pulling up to our house, I jump out of Parker’s truck while he texts on his phone and make my way inside for my keys. I need to see Brealynn. I know deep down that I don’t deserve a girl like her. Right now, I can’t fully commit, and I don’t know if B can change that. She makes me want to be a better person, but what’s that saying? ‘A tiger can’t change his stripes.' Well, grrr.
I haven’t asked Parker about his statement to Nick at the comp, so when he walks in through the front door, I question him. “What all do you know about Brealynn and Nick?”
He stares at me with an all too familiar smirk. “What do you need to know, brother? Her boyfriend was fucking Emily, I think that was her name, in the laundry room and I tried to take her mind off it. She found her conscience. So, I found someone else.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“Give me a break, asshole. Just because you’re fucking her doesn’t mean you have to pretend to care about her.”
“There is no pretending. I do care about her.” We both freeze and stare at the other; I can’t believe what I just confessed.
“Do you really think you can be what she wants? Does she know that-” Slamming the door, I drown out his sentence. I know what he was getting at. Stomping back to my truck, I start up the engine.
Did I really think I could change so fast? Shit, this girl has me all fucked up in the head. When I’m around her, I feel like I could be good enough for her, not like the dick I know I am.
Eventually, I will break her.
It’s in my DNA. My dad broke my mom a long time ago, and she never healed. Can I risk doing that to Brealynn? I glance at the glowing clock on the dash, I see it’s almost midnight. Throwing my truck in drive, I head off to the dorms.
I don’t know how I ended up here. The need to just turn around and walk away should be strong, but it’s not. Instead, there is a pull as tight as a magnet to metal. The metal 8A on her door pulls me in to knock, or that’s my excuse. After I had told Parker that I cared for her, all thoughts flew out of the window, and I needed to get to her as soon as possible. A few moments later, the door opens up to a sleepy Brealynn. Her hair is piled into a messy blonde bun that sits on top of her head. She’s wearing blue boy shorts and a tight white tank top that shows no sign of a bra.
“Colt? Is everything okay?” She rubs her sleepy eyes. Just seeing her face is holding my demons at bay but not my hormones. Glancing through the open door, I see she’s alone in the room.
Rushing her body inside and slamming the door, I push her up against the closed door. My hands frame her face, holding those soft lips to mine while our tongues urgently seek the others, the warmth of her mouth sending a current of lust straight to my cock. Grazing my hands down her neck, shoulders, then arms, I encase her wrists, thrusting them upwards above her head. Holding them in place, my mouth finds the sweet spot between her ear and neck.
Our chests rise, deep breathes erupting from both of us, too much hunger to contain. Greed getting the best of me, I release her hands and bring mine down to cup her ass, jolting her up in the air to straddle me, our mouths never losing contact. She locks her legs around my waist while I begin trailing kisses down her neck; she’s breathless as I press her against the wall.
I’m a selfish bastard, but tonight, I can’t stay away from her.
I crave every inch of her body.
Brealynn
I have never seen a man on a mission as much as Colt looks tonight. I’m scared to say anything for fear of breaking this moment with him. I saw something pass in his eyes, but soon the warmth came back.
“I need y
ou,” he whispers into my neck sending chills all over my body. Those three simple words accelerate my heart to limits I never knew existed. My heart breaks off a little more of itself as my soul hands him a timid piece, one by one.
With shaking hands, I lean into the wall and pull up on his shirt to tug it off. He leans away from me enough to slip it off over his head. As he does this, I see more of his tattoos. He has a full sleeve of intertwining designs that lead to what appears to be skin tearing open, showing a mechanical heart made out of a bike chain over the left side of his chest. I have to remember to ask him about these later. His muscles contracting due to his heavy breathing distracts me.
“Damn woman, you’re perfect,” he whispers as he lifts up my white tank top over my head, leaving me bare from the waist up. Pulling me back into his kiss he reaches to cup one of my breasts in his hand. I arch into him as his hard length presses into my center.
Colt braces my legs with an eager shuffle to the bed and as if I were the most fragile piece of newfound jewels, he lays me down onto the sheets, like I could break at any moment. He fumbles while removing his jeans and briefs in a hurry. Glancing at me, my eyes grant permission before he slides on a condom.
My mouth becomes dry as I take him in; naked as the day he was born. Torturing me with a slow, sweet pace, he starts taking my panties off and kissing the inside of my right leg. As his stubble rubs against my inner thigh, the sweet gesture mixed with the roughness hits every nerve. Holding himself so his face is hovering above mine, he leans down to my lips, our souls wrapping into the other, shining light into our darkest places.
I should be scared, nervous, or anxious, right? After all, he’s staring through my blue irises and into the heart of my soul. I’m mesmerized, however, staring into his brown eyes, rimmed with a tinge of gold that portrays the wealth of his heart. Unguarded, he allows me to see him with no walls thrown up around this strong man.
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