Break Me

by Ashley Christin

  “Maybe you should invite Brealynn. You know, to make the night more enjoyable.” The cocky grin that is plastered on his face pisses me off.

  “What are you getting at?” I level a stare at him.

  “Nothin’, I’m just surprised you’re still pursuing her.” He shrugs.

  “I am. So let’s just keep her out of this shit.” I don’t have to explain myself to him. Besides, I’m not even really sure what I’m doing with her.

  “Fine. Can I tell Dad you’ll be there?”

  “Yeah, I’ll fucking be there,” I say, slamming the back door.

  My dad always picks the perfect time to rear his head. This dinner is going to blow. I’m not ready to have Brealynn around my family, we have too many issues. Keeping her as my own safe haven is what’s best, for me. I know if I tell Brealynn about it, she will either want to come or be hurt that I’m not inviting her. I don’t see a winning option here.

  Brealynn

  I’ve been staring at my phone since my last class ended at four forty-five. There’s nothing yet from Colt, and I don’t want to act like the overly attached girlfriend. You know the one from YouTube? Anyway, I refuse to text first.

  “Ohmygosh! How long are you going to wait for him to text you?” Kelsey props her head up with a fist while lying across the bed, judging me from across our dorm room.

  “I was just checking the time, Judgy McJudgerson.” Again, we have our own language.

  “Whatevs, wanna go to The Vine tonight for dinner? You need to catch me up on lover boy anyway,” Kelsey says, as my text tone alerts me.

  I’ve got something to deal with. Can I come by later tonight? –Colt

  Something to deal with, I wonder who that something is? My insecurities are rising to the surface. After everything with Nick, I just can’t be sure.

  The devil was once an angel you know.

  Plus, he waits this long to even text me after the time we spent together?

  Sure. Anything I can help with? –B

  No. –Colt

  Wow. Well, okay then.

  Kelsey and I walk into The Vine about seven o’clock, and I’m starving. The hostess shows us to our booth at the far right side of the restaurant. The décor is authentic Italian, and word is, their food is the best in town. The waiter shows up promptly and takes our drink order.

  “I like Colt and all, but you need to be careful, Brea. He has a reputation for a reason. Maybe you should just take a step back and take him at face value.” She fidgets with her napkin, her voice carrying a tone of uncertainty. I don’t know where this is coming from, she is normally cheering in his corner.

  Weird.

  “Ha,” I deadpan. “Face value on him would be pretty high.” I give in and grin at my own humor.

  “You know what I mean,” she warns leaning her arms against the table. I know she is just trying to be the best friend, but right now I don’t want to talk to reason. I want to talk with reckless. “Didn’t he already blow you off? That seems suspicious, just sayin’.”

  “Where is this coming from, Kels?” Squinting my eyes and lowering my brows at her, I adjust my posture straight as an arrow. “You’re the one who wanted me to let him poke. Now you’re telling me to, what? What’s the awesome advice from Kelsey the Great One?” I cross my arms over my chest and yeah, maybe, it’s to protect my heart from what she has to say.

  She puffs out a loud sigh and relaxes into the booth, “I’m sorry. Today is a shitty day and I’m just in a mood. Forgive me?” Her smile wavers. There’s more to her than just having a bad day. However, I know Kelsey and she won’t tell me until she’s good and ready.

  “Yeah. Yeah.” I humor her. “I really have to pee; I’m going to run to the restroom. Be right back.” Sliding against the vinyl and out of the booth, I walk faster than my normal pace to the back of the restaurant and down a dark lit hallway, pushing the door to the ladies’ room open.

  After I take care of business, I look at myself in the mirror. My hair is down in blonde waves that curve out away from my face and hang halfway down my back. My make-up is not too light but not too heavy. I reapply my light pink lip-gloss and smack my lips.

  I wish I could’ve dolled myself up for Colt. We’ve always been so laid back around one another. Images of him being the one I would walk back to the table to see run through my mind and a smile spreads across my face. Even if he is being shady, my mind still wanders back to him.

  As I’m leaving the restroom, I hear a girl whispering from around the corner toward the men’s room. “Come on. You know you want this as bad as I do,” she coos.

  Barf. How pathetic.

  “I really don’t,” I hear a familiar deep voice drawl in disgust.

  I stop dead in my tracks

  What the hell?

  I force myself to walk back down the hall and around the corner, where my eyes land on a familiar set of shocked brown ones. There’s some bim-bitch hanging all over him as he is trying to wiggle out of her embrace. I take in the situation and notice he has hooker red lipstick on his cheek and what looks like on his neck as well.

  I can’t.

  I cannot fucking believe this!

  It seems like I stand there forever, but in real time it’s been about five seconds. Colt successfully pushes the woman away and rushes up to me placing his hands on my shoulders.

  “B, this is not what it looks like. I promise!” he expresses, urgently pulling me into his embrace. One hand is in my hair, the other around my waist.

  Bad move, buddy.

  I want to choke on the overly priced name brand perfume I smell all over him.

  “Let me go, Colt,” I manage calmly.

  He pushes away from me slightly, just enough to look into my eyes. “She was pursuing me. Dammit. You have to believe me!”

  “I’d like to know what you are doing here with her to begin with?”

  “She is here with my dad. We are having dinner. I came to use the restroom, and she threw herself at me. I was trying to get away from her, I swear it!” he says, pulling me back into his arms and burying his face between my neck and shoulder.

  “That may be the case but you smell like a two-cent whore. Shocker, I know. Not the first time I’ve smelled it on you. I suggest you take a shower,” I shove out of his embrace and turn on my heel, leaving Colt standing in the dark lit hallway.

  Parker is walking my direction and as we pass, he grabs my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

  “Excuse me could you let go of my arm, please?” I glare up at him.

  “Look, you don’t like me and I don’t like you-”

  “Well, now that, that is clear,” I mutter trying to push past him unsuccessfully. I don’t know what his deal is, but I wish he would back the hell off so I can go break down in private. I don’t want to have to admit to Kelsey that she was right. Her ‘I told you so’ sucks.

  “Damn, girl, will you listen? I watched you leave your table but figured he would be back before you’d see him. Colt doesn’t want anything to do with that girl. Our dad entertains dumb bitches like her all the time. All they ever really want is to be his arm candy or get a piece of one of his sons. For some reason, Colt is hung up on you. Don’t walk out on him,” Parker’s low voice demands.

  I rip my arm out of his grip. “I do what I want.”

  And with all the power in me, I calmly walk back to my table and away from both of the Taylor boys. Thank goodness they don’t have any more siblings. The world wouldn’t be able to handle it. Shit, I wouldn’t be able to deal with more of them.

  “You will never fucking guess the shit I just ran into.” My blood is boiling and my face is hot with frustration when I reach my table. Shaky hands grip my glass of water, taking a sip to try and cool myself.

  “Was that Parker?” Kelsey runs her hands through her hair, pushing it away from her face. Something she does when she’s agitated or nervous. I proceed to tell Kelsey all the gritty details as we finish our dinner. I am not walking out on a go
od meal because of a bad encounter.

  “Face value. That’s all he’s worth.” Kelsey keeps with her excuse, but I have a feeling it has more to do with her than me.

  “So, enough of my drama, I want to hear about yours.” Because, clearly, something is going on.

  “Nothing to tell; it was uneventful.” This girl must not know that she shows all her emotions easily. Staring at her, I see many of them playing across her face, worry taking over the majority of her features. She avoids my gaze, so I follow her line of sight and see Colt sitting with his family and furthest away from his father’s play thing. His stare is focused on me from their table while Parker’s looks directly toward Kelsey.

  Colt

  Motherfucker!

  I’m fuming. Sitting here, pretending like that shit didn’t just blow up in the hallway. I was left stranded and speechless, which soon turned into shock when I saw my brother handling Brealynn. Seeing his hands on her flawless skin turned those emotions into intense anger. I don’t need him stepping in and making things worse.

  Looking from Parker, who stares over at Brealynn’s table that sits across the room, to Brealynn. Her and Kelsey are eating dinner like nothing’s wrong. She just walked away from me. I’ve never had a girl willingly walk away from me.

  We need to talk.

  I watch her as she picks up her phone to check the text I just sent her, looks in my direction with a blank stare, and then places the phone back on the table.

  No response.

  “Just give her time to cool off. She will get over it,” Parker leans in to whisper. Furrowing my eyebrows, I stare at him trying to find his angle.

  My dad takes notice of our exchange. “Something wrong, son?” The authority in his voice pulls my attention toward him.

  “No.” I for sure don’t want to confide in my dad over what just happened. He is business driven, no room for anything else in his life. That’s what pushed my mom over the edge. He never made her a priority, only his business and ‘business meetings.’

  “Good. Now, let’s discuss the new design for the TBX merchandise,” our dad rambles on as I redirect my focus to a certain blonde.

  Brealynn

  Once Kelsey and I arrive at the dorms, she leaves to give me some privacy since we saw Colt walk out before we left the parking lot of The Vine. However, not before she told me her two cents. Another face value rant.

  I offered her a refund.

  I know what I heard.

  He wasn’t trying to be with that girl. But the fact that he didn’t tell me about dinner with his father¸ something so small and trivial, upsets me.

  Opening my dorm door to see Colt leaning against the doorframe with one arm propped up wipes away some of the annoyance.

  “You ready to talk to me?” he says impatiently as he drops his arm down and stalks past me into the room.

  “Colt, please come in.” I wave my hand and shut the door. Clearly, he is in a pissy mood.

  Join the club; I hear they are taking new members.

  “I didn’t do anything with that girl.” He stops dead in the center of my room.

  “I know,” I admit.

  “Then why would you just walk away from me?” His temper is showing.

  “Look, Colt. You may not have been doing anything willingly with that girl, but you willingly just cut me out of your life. I mean, you could have told me about dinner with your dad. Instead, I found you there. Would you have even told me about her if I wouldn’t have caught you?” I stand my ground as we both just stare at each other from across the dorm room.

  “Caught me?” he says laughing. “I wasn’t hiding anything from you. Let’s talk about the real problem here. Would you be this upset if you would’ve just casually seen me there, with my family?” His voice is calm and rational as he tilts his head to the side, assessing me.

  I try to process what he just said. Would I be as mad if that girl wouldn’t have been there? No, probably not. Okay, I wouldn’t be.

  A deep sigh escapes me. Will I always be this on edge, thinking I’m never the one he wants to be with? I hate being so insecure with myself.

  “I’m so sorry. I blew this up.” I throw my hands up in defeat as tears threaten to fall. “I just...I – I couldn’t stand seeing her hands on you, seeing the lipstick stains on your collar. It made me lose all rational thought.”

  I thought Colt was showing me his true colors, the colors others have painted him with. That was my first mistake; I should have given him the benefit of the doubt.

  Now he thinks I’m crazy.

  “It was never an issue for me, caring for a girl, until you. But that’s what happens when your dad has more money than he knows what to do with, and his sons are BMX pro riders. The name Taylor means a lot in this town. Everyone wants a piece of us.” Closing the distance between the two of us, he caresses my arms, up and down.

  I reach up to cradle his face and stare into the eyes I’ve grown to love so much.

  “I just want to be close to you, Colt. Only you,” I emphasize, as I pull his lips to mine, placing a soft kiss, never breaking eye contact.

  “Then don’t ever walk away from me again.” A flash of emotions pass through his eyes, hitting me right in the heart.

  Resolve? Lust? …Love?

  “I won’t,” I promise,

  “Good,” he murmurs against my lips. He holds my body close to his, grabbing my face and kissing me passionately.

  Colt

  “You’re mine, B. Know that. Feel it in your bones.”

  “I-lo…ike you so much, Colt. I just can’t be second.” My body freezes up for what was hopefully an unnoticed minute. Her eyes plead with mine, to show some sort of recognition to what she almost said, but I can’t allow myself to.

  Pulling her body flush against mine, I change the subject. “See how much I want only you.”

  “Show me,” she challenges with a smirk. I grab her ass, jolting her in my arms as she hurriedly wraps her arms around my neck.

  “What are you doing?” She giggles, excitement twinkling in her eyes.

  “Proving it,” I say as I untangle her arms and throw her down onto the bed. She looks up at me with shocked blue eyes as I bend down to pull off her pants. “Take your shirt off,” I demand.

  “Colt,” she breathes, her chest rapidly moving up and down.

  “Do you want me?” I bend down and gently blow on the inside of her thigh, close to her center.

  “Yes,” she barely breathes out as I line myself up against her core, slowly pulling down her pink lace panties. Kissing down her leg, I remove one leg at a time, tossing them on the floor and making my way back to the one place I want to be most right now.

  “Wha..what are you doing?” She grabs my hair as I kiss the inside of her leg.

  “Ruining you for anyone else.” I place one slow, soft lick down her center.

  “Ohhh…you don’t have t-” Her moan cuts her off, and with one taste, I’m a goner. Watching her sexy body arch into a moan makes me ignore her comment and keep my slow pace as she tugs on my hair.

  “You taste so fucking sweet,” I murmur placing two fingers into her as I curve up, hitting the right spot.

  “Oohhhh, yes!” I feel her let go, pulsing around my finger as I lick up my new addiction.

  Brealynn

  I can’t breathe. Holy shit.

  I tug on Colt’s broad shoulders to bring his lips level with mine. Damn if he isn’t the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen, worshiping my body in the best way possible. I attack his mouth like a person who’s been lost in the desert for weeks searching for water.

  “Mmm, taste how sweet you are?” Colt groans into my mouth then bites my lip pulling it toward him. I’m about to explode again if he doesn’t get inside me…now.

  “I need you, Colt,” I pant.

  “Damn B, always so ready for me,” he groans, and it’s the truth; my body responds to him. He pushes into me at a painfully slow pace, and I can feel my body adjus
ting to fit him.

  Or mold to him.

  I swear my body never wants him to leave.

  “Always so…good,” he sighs.

  “Only with you,” I admit looking right into those dark eyes.

  I see something pass through them, but soon it’s gone.

  What’s he hiding?

  His strong arms are caging me in, causing his muscles to bulge out and distract me. I run my hands slowly up his arms, tracing his tattoos as he pushes in and out of me. I’m on cloud nine. This is by far the best feeling I have ever had. I am falling for Colt, and I honestly don’t know if he is ready for that step. Tracing up his shoulder, I lay my hand over the mechanical heart on his chest.

  He inhales deeply at my movement and stares into my eyes. I try to push my thoughts into him, that I will follow him into the dark spaces of his soul, and love everything he has to give. He can love. He can care too much, and I hope it’s with me. I will help guide him out of his darkness that he has cloaked around his heart. My soul wants to wrap around him and never let go.

  Colt

  When she places her hand over my heart, I can see clear as day what she is thinking. She wants me to be something, do something that I just can’t. I lost that piece of my heart. Right now, looking into her glowing blue eyes, I want to be the person she needs. I do feel something for her. I’m just not sure what that something is.

  I want her. I mean, shit, she’s sexy as fuck. I don’t want her to be with anyone else. Hence, why we’re in a relationship right now, which still blows my mind.

  Here I am, pushing in and out of the most perfect woman I’ve been with, and all I can think about is my pussy-ass feelings. I need to get a fucking grip. And I do. I reach down, grabbing Brealynn’s ass, and hold her tight to my body as I flip us over. I don’t want to have to think right now. I need her to make me forget who I am.