Complicated

by Kristen Ashley

  I transferred my gloves to my scarf hand, slid my free hand up to the knot in his tie and unnecessarily straightened it before I finished.

  “Put an offer in, honey. We’ll tell the kids. You guys make a deal, you close, I’ll put my place on the market. When it sells, I’ll move in. That gives the kids time to come to terms with it happening and us time to deal with merging houses. Is that a plan?”

  He took an arm from around me to put his hand on my jaw and sweep his thumb across the apple of my cheek.

  He didn’t confirm we had a plan.

  He still did.

  He managed this by saying, “Love you, gum drop.”

  “Love you too, snuggle bug.”

  He grinned down at me.

  Then he bent and kissed me.

  When he lifted his head, the warmth was still in his eyes but it was tempered and I’d know why when he murmured, “We best get to Mrs. Whitney.”

  I nodded.

  Hix let me go.

  He put on his coat while I draped my pashmina around my neck. He went to get my coat and helped me on with it.

  I pulled my gloves on as we walked out to the Bronco.

  And then Hix drove me to Mr. Whitney’s funeral so we could support Mrs. Whitney in her even more difficult effort to leave behind what needed to be left behind.

  So she could take her next step.

  I was sitting next to Lou watching Snow and Corinne play soccer at the same time glancing frequently to the side where Hix was standing having what appeared to be a serious conversation with Shaw.

  Most high schools played soccer in the fall. But with most of the girls on the volleyball team also playing soccer, not softball, in a decision that divided the county and caused rifts between family and friends that were still healing to that day, Lou had reported that five years ago, they’d shifted seasons so all the girls’ soccer and/or volleyball teams weren’t terrible.

  God, I loved a small town where the only thing that could upset you was the high school girls’ soccer schedule.

  “You know what that’s about?” Lou said under her breath as she leaned into me.

  “Wendy broke it off with Shaw,” I said under my breath back.

  Lou’s voice rose. “Is she crazy?”

  “Shh, Lou,” I hissed, slapping her on the leg.

  “Is she crazy?” Lou whispered.

  “Her dad’s treatments are over, things look promising, but that was harrowing. She’s a junior. She’s looking at going to University of Nebraska in a year. What she’s not looking forward to is having to go through that with her dad then having to deal with her boyfriend being wherever he’s gonna be, becoming a marine, thus not free to come visit her on weekends and the like. So she pushed the option of Shaw giving that up and going to work for his granddad so he can be close. He signed on. That didn’t go over great with her. There’s no turning back now but she didn’t stop pushing. He wasn’t liking that much.”

  “Oh boy,” Lou muttered.

  “A couple of days ago, she gave him an ultimatum. He made his choice. She ended it,” I concluded.

  “Oh boy,” Lou sighed.

  “He’s tried to get her to understand. She’s digging in her heels.” I glanced at father and son. “It appears she’s still digging in her heels.”

  “Some stay. Some go. So many go, the pool gets less populated. So I’ll pull out my crystal ball to confirm when I get home, but right now I can say with some authority in a year or three or five, or for the rest of her life, Hixon and you hang around Glossop, Shaw comes home to see you guys, and Wendy stays here, she’ll see him and she’ll be kickin’ her own ass. Especially after he lands a babe who’s smart enough not to give a man an ultimatum about something like that.”

  “Mm,” I mumbled my agreement.

  The conversation ended and both father and son walked up to sit with Lou and me.

  Hix gave me a look and a short shake of his head.

  I returned his look but gave a smile to Shaw.

  He gave one back but it was one he didn’t commit to.

  They sat.

  Hix curved an arm around me.

  We watched Corinne and Snow help the team beat the crap out of Yucca.

  We then went home.

  Shaw was barely in the back door when he muttered, “I’m gonna go out to Sunnydown and hang with Andy.”

  Mamie had spent the game dancing under the bleachers with her friends. She’d already danced into the house. Corinne gave her brother a look, me a look, her dad a look but kept quiet and moved into the house.

  Hix murmured, “That’s cool, kid. Call when you’re on your way back.”

  I stood there allowing the glow of how much Shaw liked my brother to warm me.

  Then I followed him out to the garage.

  “Hey,” I called.

  Standing at the door to get outside to his car parked in the drive, Shaw turned to me.

  I got close. “She’s not the one.”

  His mouth got tight. “I know, we’re young, it’s not the end of the world.” He looked away, mumbling, “Whatever.”

  “It’s not that you’re young,” I stated and he looked back to me. “And it might not be the end of the world, but that doesn’t negate the fact that it feels like it right now. It’s that she’s not the one.”

  I had his attention and since he didn’t say anything or cut the conversation off, I got closer and brushed my fingers along the back of his hand.

  “She either believes in you and your dreams or she doesn’t. If she doesn’t, Shaw, honey, she’s not the one. She can be seventeen or she can be thirty-five. The woman you pick has to understand what you want out of life and she has to support that one hundred percent. It’s your job to give that back. What is not your job is to settle for anything less. You don’t make a man what he’s not. You find the man you want and stand beside him no matter what.”

  “Yeah,” he whispered.

  “Yeah,” I decreed.

  “I liked her a lot,” he confided in me.

  “I know that, sweetheart.”

  “But you’re right. What you said. She’s not the one.”

  I gave him a gentle smile. “You’ll find her, Shaw.”

  He stared at me and he did it hard.

  Then he said, “Yeah.”

  I liked how he said that and what he didn’t hide he meant by it so my smile got less gentle and a lot bigger.

  “Go see Andy,” I ordered.

  “Should I take him candy bars?” he asked.

  “If you want. Do you need money?” I asked back.

  He shook his head. “I got it.”

  “All right. Be safe, yes?”

  “I will, Greta. Later.”

  “Later, Shaw.”

  He walked out the door.

  I walked in the one that led to the mudroom only to see my man leaning a shoulder against the jamb of the doorway to the hall with his arms and ankles crossed, waiting for my return.

  Seriously.

  My man was hot.

  “You sort him out?” he asked.

  And seriously.

  My man was a good dad.

  “I gave him a few things to think about.”

  “Good,” he murmured. Then asked, “You gonna make dinner or am I takin’ my girls out to eat?”

  “Mamie’s on a cooking binge. When she’s not pirouetting, she all about spices. I promised to demonstrate the art of making tacos tonight, this art including not worrying about spices too much since McCormick does it for you. She’s looking forward to it.”

  “Tacos sound good.”

  He said that but he didn’t move.

  “You gonna get out of my way so I can get your girl and convene my lesson at the Drake Culinary School?” I asked.

  He lifted one shoulder. “Sure, you earn passage with a kiss.”

  I could totally do that.

  So I did it.

  Then I taught Mamie how to make tacos.

  And at the dining
room table we were selling when I closed on my house in two weeks, Hix’s girls with Hix ate them.

  I walked into our bedroom.

  Hix, sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows to his knees, one hand clamped on the back of his neck, didn’t move.

  This was not a pose that alarmed me.

  Shaw had graduated three hours before.

  My heart lurched, I closed the door, went and sat next to my man.

  I pressed up against his side, wrapping my arm around his back and resting my forehead to his shoulder.

  He cleared his throat but didn’t lift his head when he said gruffly, “Kid’s smarter than me and I’m a forty-two year old man.”

  I wasn’t sure that was true but I didn’t disagree verbally.

  I just hummed, “Mm.”

  “He’ll be okay.”

  I agreed with that. “He will.”

  “He’ll do good.”

  “Yes, he will.”

  “Find a good woman. Build a good life.”

  “Yes.”

  “Hear him cryin’.”

  That confused me. Shaw was out partying with his friends. He was amped. Hix had hidden all of this as best he could, Hope had done her part with that too, so it was all good for Shaw.

  “What?”

  He lifted up, turned to me, and I saw the red rimming his eyes.

  Oh, my Hix.

  “Came out bawling. Didn’t even have to induce it. He let it be known he was a part of this world the minute he slipped out. Keep hearin’ that. Hearin’ the memory of that moment my boy became mine.”

  I pressed closer to him and rounded him with both arms.

  “What happened to my baby boy?” he whispered.

  I’d barely got my arms around him, but at that, I put both hands to his cheeks and my face in his.

  “He grew up, Hixon,” I whispered back. “And you did good, baby. You and Hope did so good with him. He’s amazing. Simply amazing.”

  He sniffed and sat straight.

  My hands fell away.

  “Andy’s a mess,” he declared.

  I nodded.

  It was far from lost on Andy that his new best friend was soon to enter the marines. He loved Hix. He adored Mamie and Corinne. But he’d bonded with Shaw.

  “I know. I’ll go to him in a second, see if he’s okay. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

  “He goes to basic in three weeks.”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “We’re gonna make that a great fuckin’ three weeks.”

  I smiled weakly at him.

  He took my hand and stood, pulling me up with him.

  He let me go instantly and I let him do it when he stated toward the door, “I’ll go to Andy.”

  “Okay, darlin’.”

  He looked down at me.

  “Love you,” I whispered.

  He bent and touched his lips to mine.

  Then, while Shaw partied with his friends, the girls were with their mom looking after her, my man went to my brother so they could commiserate about the upcoming loss of their boy.

  At the Dew, I slid on the barstool next to Hix, murmuring, “Thanks, baby,” as he handed me my sparkling water.

  It was packed that night, but Hix had arrived early, bringing me in to sing. There had been tables available. Why he was at the bar, I had no clue.

  Before I could ask, he said, “It’s totally corny.”

  I took a sip from my straw but did it with my eyes to him.

  When I finished, I asked, “What?”

  “Wanted to do it before, but wanted things to be about Shaw during his graduation and before he left. I struggled with it. He’ll be upset he wasn’t around when it happened. But it’ll get his ass home when he can come home so we can have a delayed celebration.”

  I stared at him as he spoke, not having any idea what he was talking about.

  “I’m not following, darlin’,” I shared.

  “Met you here. Started the ride when you sang ‘At Last’ to me. Tried to deny it when you sang ‘Stay’ to me. Knew I was gone when you sang ‘Cold’ to me. And knew you were gone when you sang ‘Glitter in the Air’ to me. So it had to be here. And here is where it’s gonna be.”

  I was kind of following, but not exactly.

  And I couldn’t find it in me to figure it out because I was dealing with him sharing he remembered all the important songs I’d sang to him.

  His eyes dropped to my drink but all he said was, “Corny.”

  I felt my brows draw together then I looked down to my drink.

  Sparkling water. Ice glittering. Blue straw with those ridges that you could bend so—

  Oh my God.

  My hand started shaking.

  Oh my God!

  I felt Hix’s hand span the top of my thigh, his lips to my ear, where he whispered, “Time for the next step, Greta.”

  I turned my head, he pulled back, and I caught his eyes.

  “Is that—?” I started.

  “Marry me.”

  Tears filled my eyes and he saw them instantly.

  So just as instantly, he lifted both hands to my face and put his in mine. “Baby, no tears.”

  “No . . . no . . . no damned way I’m not crying right now, Hixon Drake.”

  His thumbs went under my eyes and he warned, “Sweetheart, no—”

  Too late.

  One slid over and hit his thumb.

  His gaze came to mine.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  His eyes flashed with humor. “Does that mean yes?”

  “Do you have to ask?” I retorted.

  “Kinda important for this question I get an answer, gum drop.”

  “Then yes.”

  No humor for that.

  Just intensity.

  He also didn’t move.

  “Yes, Hixon.” I lifted my free hand and wrapped it tight around his wrist. “Yes. Yes. Yesyesyesyes. Yes,” I stated fiercely.

  I said it but Hix still didn’t move.

  He just sat there, holding my face, his pool-blue eyes staring into mine.

  I was going to get to swim in those eyes forever.

  Another tear slid into his thumb.

  “Glass, bro, put that bling on her finger before she combusts,” we heard from beside us, and I looked to Danny, the bartender, who’d set an empty glass on the bar between Hix and me.

  He was also grinning like a maniac.

  Hix took my glass, poured out the water, but sifted it through his fingers in the end so he could catch the ring.

  Danny threw a bunch of napkins on the bar for Hix to dry his hand but Hix didn’t touch them.

  He took my hand and slid the cold metal of the ring on my finger.

  It was very simple, not large, not tiny, set in white gold or platinum, and it had five little diamonds embedded in each side of the band.

  Keith had given me a two and a half carat, cushion-cut diamond surrounded by a band embedded with two rows of them.

  This was not that.

  What it was, was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

  I felt another tear fall.

  “Baby,” Hix warned, his hand closing around mine, taking the view of my ring from me, his other hand sweeping away the tear. “Stop it.”

  I looked to him. “You’re right, it was corny.”

  He grinned.

  “Totally corny,” I declared.

  He kept grinning.

  “And I’m so happy, if you don’t kiss me, I’m gonna scream,” I shared.

  He continued grinning even as he stood from his stool, got in my space in a way I had to twist my legs to the side and wrapped a hand around the back of my neck.

  I tilted my head way back, curving my arms around his middle.

  And it was then, he kissed me.

  I heard the tinkling of something against a glass but I was so lost in Hixon, I didn’t take it in.

  I still didn’t take it in when I heard Gemini shout, “She said yes!
Raise a glass! We’re toasting to the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Hixon Drake!”

  I only surfaced when Hix lifted his mouth from mine and I suspected he only did this because everyone was cheering and shouting.

  We looked to the club to see everyone on their feet, everyone looking our way, everyone clapping and everyone smiling.

  Hix slid an arm around my shoulders and tucked me into his side.

  “Danny, champagne for all!” Gemini announced.

  More clapping and cheering and I settled my wet gaze on Gemini.

  He moved to us, smiling even bigger than Danny had been doing.

  Hix lifted his hand to shake Gemini’s and accept his murmured congratulations then Gemini moved in and touched his cheek to mine.

  He moved back and caught my gaze. “Happy for you, beautiful.”

  “Me too.”

  He gave me a soft smile. “You need the rest of the night off?”

  I shook my head. “If you don’t think I’m gonna give the performance of a lifetime crooning to my new fiancé, you’re crazy.”

  That got me a bigger smile.

  He moved away and clapped Hix on the arm before he walked away.

  I looked up to my man.

  No.

  My fiancé.

  My future husband.

  No.

  Just my future everything.

  “I should have taken the rest of the night off.”

  He dipped close to me. “You want that, Greta, have a feeling Gemini would give you anything.”

  “Do you want me to grab him?” I asked.

  “I want you to do what you want.”

  “Okay, but what do you want?”

  “I want what you want.”

  I looked into his eyes.

  And doing it, I knew that was what he wanted.

  That was all Hixon Drake actually was.