by Sarah Thorn
By dinnertime my body was so relaxed that standing up was becoming a chore. I even had the chance to have my knots worked on by a masseur. It was an odd experience trying to explain where I had received the bruises that littered my body without saying that I’d had wild sex in a barn the previous night.
They finally returned from their ride at nearly midnight. I couldn’t believe they’d stayed out for so long. I didn’t want to force anything so I waited in my room for a while with the television on. I needed to talk to John and I didn’t want Maggie to hear.
By nearly one in the morning I gathered up my courage, went to the master bedroom and knocked. John answered wearing nothing but a pair of dirt covered jeans.
“John, we need to talk.” I said, hoping not to sound so stern.
“This is a really bad time, Cassidy, can we talk tomorrow before your flight back?” he said.
“Cassidy?” I heard Maggie’s voice from inside the bedroom. She forced her way past John and came in for a hug. I could see that she had changed what she was wearing. She was now covered in one of John’s white shirts. I could feel anger seething below the surface of my calm expression.
“That’s alright; you two have a great night. I’m going to sleep, goodnight.” I muttered.
“Cassidy, wait!” John said.
I didn’t turn around, I just stormed to my room and shut the door. It wasn’t long before I heard a knock at my door.
“Cassidy, it’s not what you think.” He said through the closed passage.
I stood from the bed and walked to the door, cracking it open.
“I’m pretty sure it’s exactly what I think. Goodnight John.” I said, slamming the door in his face.
His shadow lingered under the door for a moment and then returned to his bedroom where I heard his door shut.
I didn’t sleep at all that night and just wished I were home.
8.
I didn’t speak to John at all and he made no attempts to explain anything. I didn’t mind, I wanted to forget this entire weekend. I even regretted what I had done and the rift I probably would make with Maggie were she to ever find out what happened. I’m sure she’d be heartbroken.
Maggie joined me in the car with bags under her eyes. She had been up all night from the look of it and worked hard to hide my envious expression.
As our plane flew us home, Maggie slept on the couch I had enjoyed on our previous flight while I sat in the chair and sipped on soda the flight attendant provided.
I thought back to the night we spent together and how much it meant to me and how little it probably meant to him. It pained me to think about how many other women he had probably slept with in that same barn under similar circumstances. Then I forced myself to not think about it at all.
I settled back into normal life with ease. But, I didn’t want this life anymore. I wanted something that I wouldn’t get from working at a grocery store. I wanted to use my experience and ability as an architect to make something of myself and the events with John were inspiring me to be a better person.
So I quit.
I hadn’t told Maggie about John and I, and I wanted to keep it that way but fate had other plans.
A couple months after our getaway to Texas and I was starting to get more than a little scared. I hadn’t had to deal with my monthly cycle for a while and a positive pregnancy test told my why. I even took a day off to visit a doctor and confirmed my suspicions.
I couldn’t help but be a little happy thinking about the small life already growing inside me. The result of one of the most amazing nights of passion I had ever felt in my entire life would soon be mine to hold.
Then I thought about John. He deserved to know if he was a father and I didn’t want to keep him from his child.
I started dialing his number but then I stopped, it felt a little too personal to convey with a phone. Then I started writing an email which also felt a little too distant and impersonal.
The only thing that made sense to me was a letter. I pulled out paper and ink and began to draft my letter.
I wrote all the things I wanted to say over the last two months, every thought that came into my head I wrote down. Everything came out as a jumbled mess as I wrote and wrote and wrote.
Twenty-nine pages later I stopped. I couldn’t send him a book.
I tried over and this time kept it simple.
‘Dear John,
I never felt anything for anyone like I did for you. Regardless of whether you feel the same, I wanted you to know. When I returned to my favorite spot by the ocean, I looked out into the magnificent blue water and cried. I felt like I had finally found some measure of solace in the world after spending that weekend with you.
I’m pregnant, and I’m going to keep it. I won’t ask for any money as I’m not interested in that at all. I’m sure one day your future child will wonder who their father is and I’ll tell them it was a wonderful man but I’ll leave your name out of it if that’s what you want.
I have become the person in control of my own future, not worrying about the day to day, just living my own passion because that’s the person I want to be. Your way of seeing the world helped me realize who I can be.
Thank you for the moments.
Love,
Cassidy.’
“What’s that?” I heard Maggie say from behind.
I folded the note and tucked it into an envelope trying to keep it from Maggie’s prying eyes.
“Nothing really,” I replied, “just a thank you note to a friend.”
Maggie plopped down in the chair nearby.
“He loves you, you know.” She said out of the blue.
“Who?” I asked.
“You know, I don’t need to say. I wanted to tell you for a while but you seemed so adamant about changing things that it never felt like the right time to say anything.” She said.
“But, how can you be so sure. Didn’t you sleep with him the last night we were there?” I asked.
Maggie let out a laugh and slapped my shoulder.
“No,” she said, “I didn’t get the chance because he was so hung up on you.”
I gasped and tried to stop the tear running down my cheek.
“He told me about it when we went on the ride the second day we were there. He told me about how much he loved your smile and the way your ‘lit up the room when you entered’” she said while air quoting the last bit.
I wiped the tear off my cheek.
“He’s a good guy, Cass. I’m just sad I didn’t get to him first.” She said.
“There’s more to it.” I added.
I couldn’t mouth the words so I just handed her the letter. As she continued reading her eyes lit up. Instead of looking depressed she started looking happy.
“You’re having his baby! That’s amazing! You gotta call him right now, he needs to know right away, don’t write some archaic note and hope he happens to read it.”
She plucked my phone off the table and searched through my contacts before settling on his number. The phone started ringing and she shoved it in my face.
I took it and held it to my ear. I could hear a ringing elsewhere in the apartment. Both of us started looking around only to realize it was coming from the front door. Maggie stomped to the front door and practically ripped the door off its hinges opening it.
John stood outside, his phone in hand nearly ready to answer. I dropped mine to the ground and walked toward him.
I gave him a giant hug and a kiss, as well as a well-placed punch to the stomach that made him reel back a bit.
“That’s for being creepy and standing outside my front door.” I said.
He laughed.
“If that’s all I’m gettin’ then I’m getting’ off light.” He replied.
I pulled back for a moment realizing that he didn’t know yet. I sheepishly looked toward the ground.
“John, I only just found out for myself, but I’m pregnant.” I said.
John li
fted my chin so our eyes met and I could see tears starting to form in the corners. He stared into my eyes with an exuberant look and gave me a deep kiss.
“Cassidy, I’ll make that baby proud to call me daddy.” He said.
And he absolutely did.
*****
THE END
WESTERN BILLIONAIRE Romance - Gold in Texas
Three months and I was finally hitting my stride. I could feel my hands starting to grow tougher, and my legs were growing stronger. The best part of the whole thing was being able to ride a horse almost as much as I ever wanted.
“Hey Jennie,” Larry shouted from the barn, “Buck said it would be a good time to get the livestock into the barn. Said there’s a storm comin’ up, and he don’t wanna see nothin’ bad happen.”
“I’m on it,” I shouted back. It wasn’t hard, herding in the few animals they kept on the ranch. Just a couple milking cows, some chickens, and a few horses. I didn’t mind herding them in, either.
Larry already had the door open for all the animals as I shooed them in. Only took about fifteen minutes or so.
I could already see the storm off the plains, a crack of thunder lit the sky in the distance and the blackened clouds rolled slowly in our direction. I never liked storms where I grew up, but out here it was like watching a masterpiece unfold.
I can’t say I ever really believed in a greater power until I got the chance to look out along the horizon and view the perfect simplicity of the landscape.
“Jennie, you gonna to get inside? I bet Mike is already lookin’ for ya,” said Larry, peeking over my shoulder.
“Don’t know why he’d be lookin’ for me, not like I have any chores left for the day,” I said as I wheeled around toward the house.
It was a small house, barely two stories. The white walls displayed their age as though rings on a tree and the windows were still a bit dirtied from the harsh winds that swept up dust from all over.
I walked proudly toward the home while pulling off my work gloves. I flexed my hand and could feel the ache of a hard day’s work in them.
The screen door screeched open as I tugged on it, and walked inside with my boots clattering on the hard wood floor. The inside was much different from the outside, the wood flooring was clean, and most of it was covered in rugs. The furniture was in good repair and was some of the most comfortable I’d ever slept on. The kitchen was a bit older, but nothing was broken, so there was no need to change it out.
“Mike, what you want now?” I asked, parading toward the kitchen.
Mike was sitting behind the round table in the corner, with papers sprawled out all over. He had a small pair of reading glasses perched on the tip of his nose. I would have laughed if I hadn’t known how much he hated being made fun of for his poor near-sightedness.
“Jennie, what’s this I hear about you gettin’ all riled up about the neighbors?” he asked calmly.
I pulled out a chair and plopped myself down in it.
“Listen, the Cobb’s keep on grazin’ their cattle on your land. I can’t help it if a shotgun goes off in my vicinity that scares them all off.”
Buck leaned against the door frame behind me, all six and a half feet of him. If I didn’t know him, then I would’ve made sure to steer clear of his path whenever possible. But, knowing that he was about as quick to anger as a rock was to flying, I always like having him around.
Mike stifled a laugh, but Buck uttered a raucous.
“Did you really scare the Cobb’s ‘stock off with a shotgun, Jennie?” Buck asked.
“All I know is a loud shot rang out from my vicinity, as I said. Nothin’ wrong with loud noises,” I followed up with calmly.
I kicked my boots up onto the table and leaned back in my chair. It didn’t look like Mike was having any of it tonight. He reached over and smacked my boots off the table.
“Geez, Jennie, didn’t yer ma raise ya right? Keep yer feet off the table,” he started. “Now look, Cobb says he’s getting’ sour milk now. Wants me to buy him a new cow, ya know how much money I have to afford something like that?”
I paused to think about it.
“You don’t have to think that hard, I got nothing, Jennie. Hell, I’m barely scraping by as it is with this. If I don’t get really lucky here soon enough, then I’m going to have to sell off the whole thing.”
I sighed.
“Listen, I’m sorry Mike. I won’t do nothin’ like that again. Maybe I can go over and ease things with the Cobb’s as well. That is, if you want me to.”
Mike nodded and waved his hand, trying to get me to leave.
I took the hint and clomped my way out of the kitchen. Buck followed close behind.
I sat myself down on the porch of the house; a swinging bench was tied up along one of the rafters and was by far the best seat for watching passing storms.
Buck must’ve had the same idea because he took a seat right next to me.
“You know he likes you,” Buck said.
I rolled my eyes like always.
“Buck, that man would like a 600-pound gorilla if it could solve all his financial trouble. I’m neither. I might be the only woman on the ranch, but proximity is no excuse.”
Buck started rocking slowly; I took a moment to kick off my boots. I thought of the first time I put those things on, and they killed my feet, but now it was like wearing a cloud if a cloud weighed my feet down like a brick.
Mike bought those for me the day I started working here. I don’t think he approved of my hiking boots; he wanted me in real solid leather that wouldn’t wear out after a couple of weeks of real labor. He was right, and I knew it. My old hiking boots wouldn’t have lasted past the first week with the amount of walking he had me doing.
“Hey Buck, why does Mike keep going out to that old drill in the yard? Does he really think he’s goin’ to strike oil out here?”
Buck thought for a moment.
“I think Mike has a lot of hope. Fella came through here about five years ago, telling him his land might be ripe for the picking. I think they were trying to buy the plot off him for cheap, so they could bring in some big equipment and get it out themselves.
“Hell, the neighbors to the north sold off their plot. For a while we saw truck after truck of heavy equipment driving through, dropping off drills and all that junk for digging. They must’ve dug up every inch of that land and didn’t find a dang thing.”
“So Mike just keeps thinking he might get lucky, and the professionals missed something?”
“Well, from what I hear, it’s a bit of a tricky business. People miss things all the time around here. I always bet on Mike, he’s a good guy, knows what he wants. That’s better than most.”
“As long as he doesn’t ask me to work the thing, I won’t get in his way.”
I sat for a while and watched the storms pass. The twilight turned to darkness, and the only light that could be seen was that distant light of the barn.
Rain came down in pellets, soaking everything that wasn’t covered in seconds. I listened to the rain pelt against the old wood siding on the house, and the thunder that roared its way over the plain. It was a peaceful raucous.
As the rain settled into a constant drizzle we were all called in for supper, Buck and I met up with a drenched Larry and filed in around the table.
Mike pulled a couple steaks off the stove top and served them up. He knew how to cook them well, and it tasted like I could still hear the cow mooing. I can’t say I liked it at first; he always made me try something a few times before giving up on me. I would usually cave in and give it a try, and then hate it for a while. That was just how life was on the ranch. Larry and Buck felt like the brothers I always wanted, and Mike was always the responsible caretaker.
It brought up memories from the city; nasty old thoughts that would consume me for a while before fading away. I started thinking about my sister and wondered what she might be up to. It was too soon to call, though. I needed more time to leave t
he old life behind before letting them know where I was.
“Alright, tomorrow is a big day. Jennie and I gotta head into town and fix a few things with the bank. Buck, you and Larry check the fields and make sure this storm hasn’t destroyed anything we need. We should be back before noon.”
I nodded and finished up supper, being careful to leave a little behind for Rusty. I set my plate to the floor, and Rusty jumped up like she was a puppy, and the old dog lapped on the plate, being careful not to spill a thing.
“Rusty, why can’t you just eat the food I buy for you?” Mike sighed.
I pulled the plate off the floor when the pooch was done with it and tossed it in the country basin that had dishes already piling up inside.
“I’m goin’ to get a shower before bed, G’night guys,” I said.
“Night, Jennie,” they all replied.
I stripped off my dirty shirt while walking up the stairs; I doubted any of them would be staring at me from the kitchen. My muscles were tender, so I rubbed them as I walked to my room.
It was smaller than I was used to, but plenty of space for a dresser and a bed. Although, that’s about all I had, I barely had use for the dresser to be honest.
I grabbed my towel and headed off to the bathroom. The room was a bit cramped, with the ceiling angling low and at places, you had to duck under a beam. But, the claw footed tub was perfect for showers and soaking. Granted, I had to work my hardest to avoid it becoming a peep show for the boys downstairs.
I always gave a quick look for any new holes that may have popped up in the walls since I’d last been in. For the most part, they stopped, but it never hurt to double check.
The water warmed me to the bone. And, I took a little extra time for myself in the shower. I could feel my muscles were getting stronger in all the right places, my skin seemed firmer than when I first moved out this way. I maybe have been a bit curvier than most women, but I don’t think anyone ever minded a little extra curve.
I wasn’t overweight by any means, though, just rounder. I liked my body, though, even though I always found a new bruise that would need nursing or a new cut that needed bandaging.