She was concerned about him. He’d been quiet and distant all morning, but since the incident at the ceremony, he’d retreated behind the barriers he’d had when they’d first met. Then she saw Lijou detach himself from Rhyasha and Konis and begin heading toward her. Passing Kaid, he stopped, and after addressing a few words to him, took him by the arm and brought him over, too.
“I’ve a small gift for the three of you,” he said, looking from one to the other, mouth open in a grin. “Kha’Qwa found a reference to them in one of our ancient records and we had them made up to give to you today.” Reaching into the pocket of his robe, he drew out a small wooden box which he opened before passing it to Carrie.
With her free hand, she took it from him. Nestling on a bed of black plush cloth lay three identical silver pendants. The motif was of three interlaced spirals, and in the center lay a small, blue-white faceted crystal.
“Lijou, they’re lovely,” she said. “Are the crystals from Stronghold?”
“From Vartra’s Retreat to be exact,” said Lijou. “Triad members exchanged them to show their commitment to each other, but we thought you wouldn’t take them amiss as a gift from us.”
Kusac bent down to see them more closely. “They are beautiful,” he said, holding the box for his mate so she could pick one up.
As she held it up, the light from the main windows glinted through it, painting a rainbow across her face. “It even incorporates the spirit of the gateway,” she murmured.
“The design is as it was described, even down to the number of facets on the crystals,” said Lijou equally quietly.
Carrie held the pendant out to Kusac. “This one is yours,” she said. Reaching into the box, she picked up the next one and held it out to Kaid. “And this, yours.”
He reached out and, taking it from her, looped the chain around his hand. “My thanks to you and Kha’Qwa,” he said, his voice barely audible as he watched Kusac put his own pendant on, then take Carrie’s from her and fasten it round her neck.
“I’m glad our gift pleases you,” said Lijou. “They can be worn as necklaces or set into the ear. We thought this way you could choose for yourselves.”
“Thank you both, Lijou,” said Carrie, fingering the tiny crystal. “You must have been very sure of our success.”
“I knew the God had marked you all,” he said. “And I know you. If it was possible for any mortals to succeed, then I knew it would be you.”
“Thank you, Lijou,” said Kusac. “You should have brought Kha’Qwa with you. Be sure to tell her how much we appreciate the pendants.”
“You have enough people here today,” said Lijou. “Kha’Qwa preferred to remain at Stronghold in the hope she could visit you another time under less formal circumstances.”
“She’s welcome any time, Lijou,” said Carrie.
Lijou inclined his head. “I’ll pass on your invitation, Carrie,” he said, as he moved away to rejoin the rest of the guests.
When she looked back at Kaid, Carrie saw he was still holding the pendant clasped within his hand. Don’t feel compelled to wear it, Kaid, she sent, handing him the box. Keep it in here.
Silently he accepted it from her, but, surprisingly, he put it in his pocket. I’ll wear it for now. Opening the catch, he reached up and fastened the pendant round his neck, letting it drop down to lie on the breast of his tunic. That done, with a nod to them both, he turned back to his unconscious surveillance of the room.
What’s up with Kaid? Kusac’s sending was concerned.
I think the past’s catching up with him. Then the time for any private communication was gone as she saw Tutor Sorli advance on them.
Glancing at Kusac for permission, he crouched down at Carrie’s feet so his face was level with her cub’s.
He reached a tentative hand out toward the infant, his expression hopeful. “May I?” he asked.
She nodded, watching him carefully as he reached toward Kashini. The little one grasped the proffered finger with both hands, extending her claws to get a better grasp, and pulled it toward her mouth.
“She’s like your bond-mother,” he said, mouth opening in a small grin. “And yourself,” he added. “You’re as fair as she is.”
Carrie smiled. “You’re the first one outside our family to notice,” she said.
“I’ve been keeping up to date with Physician Kyjishi’s work on genetics,” he said. “It’s different for you, though. Your daughter is the first cub born to a Human mother. Our Sholan genes might be dominant, but Kashini’s adaptation to your body has been different from Marak’s. His mother is Sholan, after all.”
He stopped, looking up at her. “But you don’t care about any of that for now, do you?” His grin became deeper. “All you care about is that you have her safe in your arms. And what else should concern a new mother? May she bring blessings to your Clan, Liegena Carrie,” he said, extricating his hand and getting to his feet.
“About time!” came a voice Carrie knew well.
Noni came limping over to stand beside Sorli. “About time you left,” said Noni tartly. “Look at her! Carrie’s almost asleep where she sits! Kusac, send for the nurse for your daughter,” she ordered. “And Tallinu,” she said, fixing Kaid with a glower, “carry the Liegena upstairs to her room. She needs to rest. She can come down and join us later,” she said, forestalling Kusac’s unspoken objection.
Carrie could feel the tension in his body as Kaid carried her upstairs. She knew she was partly to blame. “Tallinu, I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to pull away from you during the ceremony. It just took me by surprise.”
“It’s nothing to worry about, Carrie,” he said. “It wasn’t important.”
“It matters to me. I don’t like feeling you so distant. You’re treating me almost as if I were a stranger.”
“Things are different now,” he said quietly, stopping at the door into Carrie’s and Kusac’s old suite. “We’re home. We’ve done what we set out to do. You have your En’Shalla Clan, and your cub—and I’ve got to pick up my life again.” He took her through the lounge to the bedroom. “I’ve asked Father Lijou to let me return to Stronghold for a while. He’s agreed. It’s time I began to study how to use my Talent properly.”
“You’re leaving?” The news stunned her. It was the last thing she’d anticipated.
“In a few days,” he said, laying her gently down on the bed. “You’ve got Dzaka and T’Chebbi to guard you, you don’t need me, too.” He stood up, not looking at her. “I need time to make sense of what I’ve been through, Carrie. Time for meditation.”
“You might not return.” She could feel the thought there on the edges of his mind, unresolved as yet, but a possibility that he hadn’t rejected.
“I don’t know what I want to do,” he said, turning away from her, tail swaying slightly. “But I’ll always be part of you both because of our Triad.”
“I thought you’d found peace with yourself when we were in the Margins. You said you had. What’s happened, Tallinu? You had none of these doubts two days ago.”
“That was then. I belong to the past, Carrie, fifteen hundred years ago, not now.” His tail was flicking from side to side as he turned round to face her. “Can’t you understand that I’m not the same person I was? I need to find out who I am now.”
“I know who you are,” she said quietly. “You’re who you’ve always been, Kaid Tallinu, our friend—and more.”
His eyes caught and held hers, his tail stilling. “Don’t make it difficult for me, Carrie,” he said, his voice barely audible. “I have to leave—for a while at least.”
She could tell his mind was made up. “I won’t try to persuade you to stay, but at least promise you’ll talk to me before you make a final decision on whether or not to return. Don’t just disappear like the last time.”
“When I’ve had some time alone and know my own mind, then yes, I’ll talk to you. I owe you that at least,” he said reluctantly, looking away again.
Tir
edly, Carrie lay back against the pillows, watching him. Perhaps that was what they all needed: time. They’d been through so much in the last few weeks, Tallinu more than either her or Kusac. He’d become so much a part of their lives that it was difficult to imagine him not being there. But what of him? So much of his life had been spent serving others, yet he deserved the opportunity to build a life of his own, too.
“I have to go now. Kusac needs me downstairs.”
She nodded. “Don’t let them exhaust you,” she said. “You’re not long out of your own sickbed.”
When the opportunity presented itself, Kaid took Lijou aside for a private word.
“How soon may I come to Stronghold?” he asked. “We need to discuss Vartra, and it’s time I learned how to use my Talent.”
Lijou regarded him shrewdly. “Something’s changed, hasn’t it? You, better than anyone, Kaid, should know Stronghold’s no retreat. No one comes to us to escape from the decisions they should be making out in the world. There’s no rush to set our policy regarding Vartra yet. En’Shalla, Kaid. You have to play out the hand the God has dealt you. Besides,” he added more prosaically, “we’re still debating over who should become the new Brotherhood Guild Master for our warriors. It would be inappropriate for non-Brotherhood personnel to be with us at this time.”
Kaid growled softly. “I’m not trying to escape from anything, and you know it. You’re stringing me along, Lijou.”
“Not so!” Lijou reached out to lay his fingertips briefly on Kaid’s arm, his gesture one of concern. “I’m telling you no more than the truth. Visit me by all means. I’ll help you any way I can, but until you’ve been back for at least a few weeks and tried to adapt, as your Head Priest, I cannot let you turn your back on the world and stay at Stronghold. Ghyan can continue teaching you here.”
Kaid growled softly again and turned away from him. It was a long time since any institution had held authority over him, and already it rankled. He saw Noni staring disapprovingly at him from the other side of the room.
Going back to hide in that dark corner, are you, Tallinu? she sent. How long before you face the problem this time? Another thirty-four years? D’you think she’ll wait that long for you? When the Gods set a Triad together, it isn’t easily broken apart, as you’ll doubtless find out!
Mentally he retreated deeper within himself, refusing to even acknowledge he’d heard her. Seeing Meral standing by the doorway out into the family gardens, he caught his eye and went over to join him.
“I’m relieving you,” he said. “Report in to Ni’Zulhu, then you can go off duty. I don’t see why I should be the only one to suffer!” His slight grin made a joke out of the words. “Besides, Taizia looks lonely,” he added, nodding in the direction of the young male’s heavily pregnant mate. “How long now?”
“Any time, Vanna says. The sooner the better, frankly. She’s finding it almost impossible to get comfortable these days.”
“Value your sleep while you can, lad. Your cub will arrive soon enough. At least Dzaka was four when he came to me—a much more civilized age!”
Meral looked at him curiously. “Don’t you want more cubs? I was sure you would now that you’re part of a Triad.”
Kaid shook his head, mentally shying away from any thought of that. “I have a son to be proud of in Dzaka, I don’t need any more. Now the sooner you go, the sooner you can join Taizia!”
As he stood looking over the gardens, he felt Noni’s presence behind him.
“What is it now?” he sighed.
“There will be cubs, Tallinu, prepare yourself for that,” she said quietly, coming up to stand beside him. “Your cubs. I saw them before, and I’ve seen them since.”
“Leave me alone, Rhuna!” he said, fighting to keep his ears from flattening sideways in anger. “Will you never be done with your meddling? I don’t want cubs! You don’t know what you’re talking about anyway. We aren’t fully compatible.”
“I only tell you what I see, not how it’ll happen. In Vartra’s name, Tallinu, live the life you’ve been given! Don’t analyze or agonize over it. You’ve discovered your origins, you have the respect and love of those who matter to you, and your son is finally safe from Ghezu—what more could you ask for?”
“Peace from your meddling!” he snarled, losing his battle for self-control and storming off into the grounds.
From upstairs, despite her tiredness, Carrie had sensed his increasing mental turmoil and had kept a discreet link to him. He’d become as distant as if he’d returned to the old relationship of bodyguard and Liegeman, abandoning the closeness they’d all three found through the Triad and the shared experience of their journey to the Fire Margins.
Getting up, she slipped on her loose outer robe and fished under the bed for her shoes. Somebody needed to be close enough to help him, and the only suitable person she could think of was T’Chebbi.
Chapter 2
As Kusac left their suite to go down for first meal, he saw that beyond the environmental shields, the first snow had begun to fall. The inner courtyard, open to the sky above, was already covered by a blanket of white. Winters could be bitter and this one, if the recent gales were anything to go by, looked set to be such a one. On Jalna, where Jo and her party were, it would be spring; by the time they got there, it would be summer. It was almost worth going for the change of climate alone, he thought irreverently as a small shiver ran through him.
He was hoping to catch Kaid in the kitchen rather than disturb him in his rooms. Kaid had been in a strange mood for the last couple of days. All Dzaka could tell them was what they already knew, that his father felt distant and withdrawn—even from him. Kusac was hoping that what he planned to suggest they do today would help focus him on the present rather than worry about what was long past.
Pushing open their family kitchen door, he saw Kaid still sitting at the table, his meal just finished.
“Just the person I want to see,” he said, sitting down opposite him. “We’ve been considering this mission to Jalna that no one’s told us about yet, and we can’t see how it can be accomplished by just the two of us. Especially now that there are two more people to rescue.”
“Not two more, nine in all,” murmured Kaid.
“Nine!” Kusac was shocked. “How did nine people …” He broke off to start again. “I think it’s time you told us about Jalna, don’t you?”
Kaid regarded him from under lowered brows. “I only found out for sure days before I left for Rhijudu. I didn’t want to spoil your joy in Carrie’s pregnancy.”
Kusac made a gesture of denial. “That’s unimportant. Just tell me now.”
“It seems the Valtegan starship orbiting Keiss had four Sholan captives on board. Where they got them, we don’t know, but it’s likely they were picked up either at Khyaal or Szurtha. We do know that the Valtegans sold them on Jalna in exchange for supplies.”
“Jo and Davies were sent down to rescue them.”
“No,” said Kaid, reaching out to refill his mug as Zhala came in with a tray bearing Kusac’s meal and a jug of coffee. He waited till the cook had left before continuing.
“Jo Edwards, Gary Davies, and a Terran telepath called Kris Daniels were sent to find a Valtegan craft that crashed on the planet’s surface after takeoff—crashed on interdicted ground. The High Command wanted anything they could find on the Valtegans, including any indication of what that craft was doing there. The four Sholans were to be left for you and Carrie to locate, and hopefully rescue.”
Kusac poured himself coffee and began to eat. “Go on,” he said. “Apart from the impossibility of the two of us locating and rescuing four people on our own, how did they plan to get round the fact that the Jalnians are humanoid and I’m obviously not.”
“Jalna is beyond Chemerian home space. I don’t need to remind you how paranoid they are about allowing the other Alliance races access to their sector. Apparently they’ve been trading at Jalna for the last fifty years. In keeping the exi
stence of the world secret, they’ve also hidden the fact that it’s a trading point for several other previously unknown species. It wasn’t till the Valtegans called in there with the Sholan captives that they began to panic and confessed to the Alliance. Not that they’re concerned about the captive Sholans, of course: They’re demanding we go in and find out what those they call our enemies are up to.”
“Nice of them,” said Kusac wryly. “So once again I’m reduced to playing the role of a forest cat. Great.”
His words brought a grin from Kaid. “Hardly. One of the species that trades there is similar to us—felinoid as you call it—but all of them are black furred. Given that two of the missing Sholans are telepaths, with your abilities and appearance, you make the ideal team. And,” he let out his breath in a long sigh, “they want to field-test you as agents.”
Kusac nodded. “It had to come, didn’t it? That’s why we’ve gotten all the financing we’ve needed for security and setting up the specialized medical facilities here on my estate.”
“Got it in one,” said Kaid, looking down at his mug as he swirled the last of its contents around. “The Valtegan craft that crashed was illegally landing some object on the planet’s surface, presumably for collection later. Jo and her group were trying to find out what it was.”
“And did they?”
Kaid looked up. “You know they did. Rezac and Zashou.”
Kusac frowned. “The Valtegans sold four Sholans into slavery yet landed Rezac and Zashou, free, on the surface? That doesn’t make sense, Kaid.”
“Not them, as such,” Kaid amended. “They landed what could only be some kind of stasis cube. Inside it were Rezac and Zashou. Jo’s group must have been captured as they opened it and released them.”
“How d’you know all this?”
Kaid raised an eye ridge. “I have my sources,” he said. “News of the stasis cube was picked up by our telepath on the Chemerian ship that took them to Jalna. If they weren’t being held in some Lord’s castle, the Sumaan troops on that craft would have gotten them out by now, but a castle in the middle of a busy town is a little too public. We aren’t ready yet for an official First Contact with four new species.”
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