by Helen Ellis
She says, "Maybe those turn-kids were kicked out when their folks found out what they were."
Nick says, "Maybe. But that's not our problem. Our problem is them turning up here. They need to stay below Houston where they belong. But Country Club wants his strays to squat in our empty lots."
I remember what Mr. Charles said about Country Club. "He wants to take over. He thinks Mrs. Wrinkles is getting old."
"She is. Best-case scenario, in a few years, she'll die of natural causes. After her, there are no more Webster Wrinkles. A new dom has to take her place."
"Has a turn-cat ever ruled?"
"Not the doms. With strays, power goes back and forth between pures and turns all the time. Strays love to fight. A turn-cat had power before Country Club killed him. He murdered that kid in cold blood when he was human. It was gruesome."
My body tenses. "You saw?"
"Yoon dragged me downtown to the stray royal lair to see an initiation."
Stray royal lair? I can only imagine what Octavia is thinking. I keep my attention focused on Nick. We're close to his house. Five more blocks.
"Why'd you go with him to begin with?" I ask.
"I don't know many turns. Before you, I was the only one at Purser-Lilley. Yoon pisses me off, but he understands me. Sometimes, I need that companionship. I try to stay out of the whole doms-versus-strays situation, but Yoon is hard to say no to."
"But he's one of them."
"Officially, he's on the fence. He runs with strays but lives at home. He does enough to keep the strays happy, so they let him stick around. To officially become a stray if you're a turn, you have to be marred. Yoon wanted me to see that initiation ceremony because he thought it would impress me."
"Did it?
"It did. I'll never go back to Kropps & Bobbers again."
"Where?" Octavia grumbles.
"Hair salon down on Ludlow. There's an overgrown garden in the back with high walls where stray turns and pures hang out. The owner is an animal lover; a people lover too. She doesn't judge. She keeps the back door closed, looks the other way, and doesn't ask questions."
"So, what happened?" Octavia now wants to know, twisting toward him.
Nick's eyes get so sad, it's got to be impossible for Octavia not to pick up on how much he hates how we are and how hopeless he thinks our situation is. But if it weren't for our condition, Nick would never have sought me out. We would never have kissed. I wouldn't be tingling—in the good way— from being pressed up beside him. I wonder if the Greek book has a cure, and if he and I get fixed, will we stay together. Or will he ignore me? Because every time he sees me, he'll remember what he wants to forget.
Nick explains, "To get initiated into the strays, you have to mar yourself with a characteristic of the current king or queen. So, if the king's a bobcat, you have your tail cut off. If the king's a Persian, you have your nose broken. You know how Hussein had all those look-alikes? Strays call it getting Saddam-ed."
Octavia says, "That's disgusting! Why would Yoon want to be one of them?"
"Because strays are wild and unaccountable to anyone but each other. Apart from turning, once you're a cat—I'll admit it—it feels good. Everything feels better."
"Like love?" I dare to ask.
Nick looks at me with his sad eyes. He says, "When you're a cat, there is no love. Just lust. Heightened senses and no morals. You live life in the now. Strays want to live that way forever, but most of them don't make it through their turn-time alive. The last king was a rotten little shit. Fifteen but built like he was nine. He fought everyone. His front two teeth were knocked out, so he spat when he spoke. Country Club was his biggest protector. The kid had nursed his mite-infested ear back to health to gain his loyalty, but this one time, he left Country Club out in the snow. To a cat, rain feels like razor blades, but snow feels even worse. Country Club nearly died. And cats aren't dogs. They're spiteful. They never forgive.
"So, Yoon and I are downtown in that salon's back garden, crowded around the initiation ceremony with a bunch of strays—turns in human form and pures in their only form— and we're all watching the king stick a pair of pliers in some idiot's mouth. That's when Country Club jumped him. Landed square on the king's head. His weight broke his neck, but before the king hit the ground, Country Club had scalped him, skinned his face, and nearly torn his head clean off."
Octavia warns, "Mary, you cannot be part of this."
Bile rises in my throat, the soured acid of my last meal—ham and cheese Hot Pockets. My desire to fight Country Club is nothing more than a bad taste in my mouth. If Nick hadn't held me back from running after him at the library, what would that huge white monster have done to me? What made me think I could take him? What made me want to fight him at all?
The orange, Nick had whispered.
I slip off a mitten and reach back to touch the fuzz on the nape of my neck. The orange stripe has crept up behind my ears into the shape of a slingshot.
Nick lifts my hair, peels down the scarf, and takes a look. The gesture is incredibly intimate. Heat spills down my throat and under my blouse.
He says, "It's spreading."
Octavia shouts, "Get your hands off her!"
Nick pulls away. "It's not me who started it! She can't catch it from me when I'm like this."
Like this. I glance beside me and take him in. Nick Martin. Nick Martin. Nick Martin! Medium-height, medium-dark, and pretty-gosh-dang-close-to-handsome. I twist my head toward Octavia. All she sees is filth dressed up like a boy doll.
She says, "Mary, we have to fix you. We have to fix you right now."
Her hand opens and closes around the door handle. She's debating whether to jump out at the next red light and pull me along with her. Her other hand grips the tiny Greek book in her lap. Apart from Papou, we don't have any other translators at the ready. If I'm going to be fixed, he's the one to tell me how. Octavia knows I'm turning. She doesn't want to see my full transformation again.
Nick reaches across me and grabs Octavia's hand with the tiny book. "Only physical contact with cats can start Mary off."
"Get off me!" Octavia shrieks, jerking away.
"It doesn't matter if I touch you—nothing will ever happen."
"But I didn't touch Country Club," I point out.
"But you wanted to. Urges to be a cat will make you turn too."
I think about the whisker Yoon plucked from my head. His nearness didn't put it there; it was my urge to catch the mouse. The fur on my neck grew from my thirst for Country Club's blood. The turning is upon me. And now it's spreading on its own.
Nick says, "You're a kitten. Each time you turn, the turning will come quicker. Your cat self will get bigger. The more full-grown cat you become, the easier the turning will be to control. Eventually, in season, you'll be able to turn without triggers whenever you want."
Octavia asks, "How long has she got before she turns this time?"
"If she doesn't touch a cat or get herself in a situation where she wants to be a cat, she should have until tonight."
"But if she does?" Octavia pleads.
"It depends." Nick's voice is even, without emotion. It's such self-control that keeps his own fear at bay. "On the circumstances, her level of exposure, how bad she wants it. Could be hours, could be minutes."
"No," Octavia decides. "It is not going to happen, Nick. Your grandfather's going to read the Greek book and tell us how to stop it."
Nick says, "I hope you're right."
chapter eighteen
Nick's yiayia opens the front door to their townhouse. Out from under her mink, the old woman appears more formidable. She wears thick-heeled, lace-up ankle boots. Her calves are covered by knee-highs a few shades darker than her natural skin color. Her housedress looks like something Mom would describe one of her characters wearing when she's bludgeoned to death by a neighbor who's sick and tired of lending her cups of sugar.
Yiayia waves us in out of the cold toward the mudroom. As I sus
pected, she is not happy to see me. She eyes the warped hem of my plaid skirt and my wrinkled cardigan when I take off my coat. In Manhattan, you'll see a murderous tomcat on the roof of a library before you see a girl in her school uniform on the weekend—much less one as messy as mine. Who knows where she thinks I spent last night and why she's imagining I haven't been home to change. My skirt stinks from being crumpled on the twins' terrace, laid out on the deli floor, and doused by dust in The Cellar book well.
Yiayia crinkles her nose and says, "Poofu, poofu."
Nick says, "Yiayia, be nice. You remember Mary. This is her sister, Octavia. You know Ben from gymnastics."
"Benjamin!" She ignores the Richards sisters. "Mr. Rope Climber Who Couldn't! Legs better?" She pinches his lean upper arm. "Let Yiayia feed you! In the oven, I have pastitsio: Greek lasagna, but instead of tomato sauce, it's béchamel. Five pounds you'll leave with!"
The mudroom is stuffed. Every hook and cubbyhole is taken. Umbrellas lay open like super-sized shiitake mushrooms turned upside down. Black, navy, and brown winter coats line the walls. Crammed in between is a shiny pearl version of the Michelin Man down jacket, with a rabbit-fur lined hood, owned by Nick's mother. On the bench sits her blood-red, five-grand lambskin designer status symbol. I imagine Nick's mom sporting it with stiletto boots and skinny jeans; bending over, her hot pink, Hanky Panky whale tail embarrassing her son.
Yiayia notices Nick's scarf still tied around my neck. She touches the fringe and pulls her fingers away like the strands are barbed wire. She says, "Nico mou, what are you doing? What are you thinking?"
Nick doesn't answer her.
To me, she says, "My Nick is to catch pneumonia because you don't want to look like you care that it's cold?"
I don't say anything.
"Ela. Hand it here."
I don't take off the scarf.
"Ela!"
She may know Nick's secret, but she doesn't know mine. Ben for sure doesn't know. If he sees the orange fur on the back of my neck, the rest of my life will be reduced to a series of prop bets for him and the club kids.
Nick says, "Yiayia, it's fine."
"Oh, fine is what it is? It is fine for you to toy with a young girl's heart?"
Wait. Who's she mad at? Me or him?
She says, "Take your girl upstairs to Papou and see how fine you think it is. See what he has waiting for you. A maybe or maybe not so nice surprise. Go on, all of you."
Nick says, "Ben's going to wait with you in the kitchen."
"Oxi! Nothing doing. You brought him into this house, he stays with you. He is your guest. You treat him that way. Your mother doesn't mind your manners, but I do!" She gestures to the stairs. "Ela! All of you! Climb! Papou is at the top."
Ben asks, "Five flights?"
Yiayia crosses her arms and appraises him. "Do not be the weakling others say that you are."
The Martins' stairwell is a hodgepodge: a junk drawer of everything they own with a hook that they don't want to display in the main rooms—family photo collages, silver- and gold-cast icons of Mary and the baby Jesus, and small oil paintings of the Acropolis, fishing boats, and old women in black kerchiefs on stoops.
Ben breathes heavily as we reach the fifth floor. Static-filled opera music drifts out of the study. It's the WQXR live matinee broadcast from the Met. Inside, Papou is stretched out on an Eames chair and ottoman and waves his weatherworn hands, conducting the music. He ignores the four of us as if we are latecomers. Intently, he keeps his eyes on the show.
I am sickened by what he sees.
Before him, true diva that she is, Ling Ling Lebowitz lip syncs "Poor Little Buttercup" from HMS Pinafore. Her dark purple bra cups show through her tank top. Wrapped around her throat is Nick's other black-and-gray-checked scarf.
"Aw, hell no!" says Octavia.
I want to run. I have to get out of here. Nick's scarf is too tight around my own throat. It itches. It's strangling me! I want to rip it off and throw it out the window. I want to jump out after it. I don't care if I break my legs. I don't care if I never speak to Nick again. I don't care if I never get a translation from Papou. I'd rather be a freak of nature for the rest of my life than spend one more minute in this room with Ling Ling and her identical two-for-one scarf.
When did Nick give it to her? Before he came to see me on the twins' terrace? When he wouldn't say her name? When he said he didn't care what she liked? When I asked him if they were together and in answer he held my hand? How could he? Mislead me? Lie to me? Kiss me? How could he give me a scarf when he gave her one too?
Nick asks her, "What are you doing here?"
Ling Ling asks, "What are they doing here? You're my boyfriend."
"I'm not your boyfriend."
"Until you give me what I want, you are what I say you are," she says, marching over to the stereo and shutting it off.
Papou says, "Children, be civil. You are not animals."
"At least, not right now," Ling Ling mutters.
Nick glares at her. She's hit a nerve—for me too. Does she share our bond too? Is she wearing his scarf to cover up proof that she's turning like me? I have to find out! I have to see her hidden skin! I lunge at her.
I don't know how I get hold of her scarf. I wanted the scarf; the scarf is in my hand.
It tightens like a noose around Ling Ling's neck.
She's so light, I jerk her to her tiptoes.
She pulls back.
I jerk her to me.
She clamps her hands on my forearms. She's no match for my strength, but her nails are filed to sharp points. She sinks them into my flesh. I grit my teeth. I won't let her drive a scream out of me. Nick grabs me from behind. Papou grabs Ling Ling. They try to pry us apart, but we won't be separated. I want her scarf off! I cling to it with both hands. She wants to make me scream. Nick and Papou persist at trying to break up our fight, but then Ling Ling drags her nails along my arms.
I cry out and let go of her.
Her body goes limp.
Papou unhands her.
She comes at me again.
She grabs MY scarf. It comes off my neck with her weight when she drops to the rug. I drop with her. She scrambles on top of me. She straddles me. Her fingernails fly. I shield my face. She bends forward, her face so close to mine, I smell gummy cherries on her hot, ragged breath. Her bleach-blond bangs blind me as she scours my skin. Ling Ling knows what I've been looking for on her because now she is looking for it on me.
I stop fighting. Let her find it.
She wraps her hands around my throat. When her fingers touch the fur on the nape of my neck, she tips off of me, lands on her side, and cries. Hysterically. She becomes a blubbering mess. I swear I think she'll drown in her tears. She chokes as she screams at Nick: "Whyyy?"
Nick reaches into the heap that is Ling Ling and me. I raise my injured arms. Rivulets of blood roll from my wrists toward my elbows and pool in the bunched cuffs of my school shirt and cardigan. I feel like I'm eight again and testing Dad's love. But Nick chooses Ling Ling. He hooks her hands around his neck, cushions her head against his chest, scoops her up, and carries her to the couch.
I want to disappear. I want to go home.
Octavia takes me by the elbows and helps me stand. She steers me to sit in the chair in front of Ben. Papou places the desk blotter across the arms of the chair. He rests my ruined arms on giant sheets of notepaper. Blood seeps from my wounds onto doodles of turtles and snails. Papou presses an intercom button that leads to the kitchen.
"Nai?" Yiayia's crackling voice blares.
Papou says what I assume are the Greek words for peroxide and bandages.
Nick sits beside Ling Ling and rocks her. She's still got his scarf around her neck. She covers her face with the fringe ends and sobs. Nick says, "Shh. Don't cry. I can't stand it when girls cry."
As soon as Ling Ling hears this, she completely loses her shit.
Nicks looks to me. "She's just jealous."
Ling Ling
cries, "I am not!"
Nick gets up, and Ling Ling falls onto the warm spot he left. She grabs his wrist and pulls, but he won't sit back down. She cries, "Okay, I am! I'm jealous! Is that what you want to hear? Is that what you all want to hear?" She begs Nick, "How did you do it? Tell me! You said you couldn't give it to me, but you gave it to her!"
"Mary had it before we got together."
"You got together?" Ling Ling's face slackens. Her contraband lipstick darkens as her skin drains of color. She's sickened by her visions of our kisses, searching hands, partial nakedness, and much, much more than what went on between us. She drops her head between her knees. She moans, "How could you?"